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I was hospitalized due to knee injury and I had to get a surgery because it got increasingly worse. I drank a medicine the night before surgery and emptied my bladder before going to bed. The next morning, I was woken up by a nurse to check my vitals before surgery and they made sure I fasted the whole night. I went back to sleep, then in 7AM they woke me up and brought me to the Operation Room.

Everything went well and I woke up in the recovery room. I went back to sleep again because the anesthesia still affected me and I felt so sleepy and groggy the whole morning. I finally recovered around 12PM but I wasn't fully aware. The nurse asked me if I already have the urge to go to the bathroom, but I told them no.

I felt a strong need to pee (around 5/10) quite suddenly, but I didn't want to go yet because I have some visitors. They stayed in my room for hours to accompany me, but I was too embarrassed to excuse myself to attend my need. I was already fidgeting at some point and they asked me if I were okay, I felt more embarrassed because they noticed. I told them that I'm okay, so I continued to hold my pee until they finally leave in late afternoon.

After all people and my parents went home, I had to go. Really bad, I was in 8.5/10 scale. It was about 4:40 PM and I already drank 2 cups of tea and several cups of water. The nurse already changed the IV bag 2 times. I was fidgeting with my left leg, since my right leg couldn't move yet. 

The pressure was so intense, I couldn't take it anymore, then I called the nurse. She came roughly 3 minutes later and I asked her to help me go pee. The nurse brought a bedpan, and prepared me to go on my bed. I couldn't go because the nurse was staring, so I asked her to wait outside. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much privacy I was given, I couldn't go because it feels so weird having to pee on my bed consciously. It took me a really long time to try to go, but I just couldn't do it. 10 minues passed, the nurse was concerned and went back into my room to ask if I was okay.

I told her I'm not okay because I couldn't go. I refused the bedpan option and told her I could never pee in the bedpan no matter how bad I need to go. The nurse took out the bedpan and she told me to wait while they figure out the solution. I was in an agony, my bladder hurts and kept on contracting but my muscles wouldn't relax. I wasn't even trying to hold, I was hoping I could just pee, I wouldn't even mind if I wet my bed. But I still couldn't fully go and lose control even after I reached 9 and spurts already came out slowly.

After 15 minutes or so, two nurses came, and they brought a portable toilet (a toilet on the wheelchair!). Finally I can sit on something that at least looks like a toilet and feels like a toilet! They told me that they would put me on catheter if that doesn't work. They had no choice.

They helped me to sit on the toilet, and I asked them to leave the room and wait for five minutes. I concentrated and relaxed for around three minutes, I FINALLY can let some pee out of my body, it feels good, so my body craved more relief. The flow was really slow at first, but then it went full blown for who knows how many minutes. The bowl capacity is 1.5 litres and I already used a half of the capacity, I haven't felt relieved yet. I let my pee just flow and flow until I felt empty. When I looked inside the bowl, it was almost full, so that was a LOT of pee.

I was sooo relaxed after the release, the nurse helped me to get back to my bed, cleaned me up, and cleaned the toilet for me. The nurse was amazed because it almost overflowed, and she told me not to hold my pee anymore. After all of that, I fell into a slumber right away, exhausted and so relaxed after holding on for so long. The relief was amazing, almost magical. I wish I can feel that all over again.

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