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What makes you need to go more when you are desperate?


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My question is what type of things make you have to go to the bathroom more when you are already desperate? For me desperation is very psychological so any seeing of waterfalls or mention of streams or tinkling noises or knowing that other people are going to the bathroom or that they are near a toilet when I am not just makes my desperation so much worse. And the thing that I find most difficult when desperate is if I am the only one desperate because at least if someone else is desperate they are in the same situation, but if I am the only one desperate the other person holds basically all the cards.

So what makes you really desperate when you already have to pee?

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"If I am near the bathroom so it is worse and worse. It is psychic. I was able to hold it almost to the bathroom and now? Pee myself right before bathroom..."

It's just more instinctive than anything. As you are approaching the bathroom your body is probably relaxing anticipating that you are about to go to the bathroom. Fortunately I have never really peed myself while waiting for the bathroom because I usually go long before I am super desperate but recently at my new job where I come back bursting as soon as we get to the bathroom at the station and I am waiting in line with those other women am pretty much screaming at them to hurry the hell up because when everyone else is going to the bathroom that makes it so much harder to continue holding.

"Being near to the bathroom ie putting my keys in the front door. Also washing my hands is a big one"

Usually I wash my hands after going to the bathroom rather than before! To me it's not so much the act of washing hands that makes me have to go, but sometimes when you are waiting for the bathroom stall and other women are washing their hands at the sink and you can hear the sound of the water that kind of makes you want to go even more. And there was this one time a woman just sort of left the water running and I wanted to get out of line to go turn it off, but I didn't want to lose my place in line and I was like, will someone turn that freaking sink off!

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Nervousness when I can't access a bathroom (like when on a plane and seat belt is on) or still looking for it when already very desperate (typically when on holidays and sightseeing. That always makes me even more desperate.

Of course the typical reasons too, like running water, rain, doing the dishes. One of the reasons I always get even more desperate is also when someone constantly asking me "will you make it" when I told him that I need to pee bad and we are on the way to a place where I could pee.

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Ha well I wash my hands after using the toilet as well but I mean when I am washing the dishes or cooking. But yeah I think it's definitely the sound of water for me too. I actually just had a shower and the noise of the water before I even got in made me need to go immediately, so that's confirmed. It's weird though because I literally don't even think about it, it's just the sensation hits straight away 😲😅

15 minutes ago, CarmenCD said:

Nervousness when I can't access a bathroom (like when on a plane and seat belt is on) 

This is the main reason I wear nappies when I am flying now. I usually have a couple of drinks to calm my nerves because I am a nervous flyer so that only adds to it. 

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Yes, shower, I forgot to mentioning it. I pee every time I take a shower when waiting for warm water to get through the pipes. I stand next to the running water and cold splash on my feet always encourage me to pee. That also means I get the same "encourage" when outside in heavy rain and it bounces from road on my feet. Feeling is similar as I get in the shower and that makes me wanna pee and when already desperate makes me wanna pee even more.

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Almost a year ago I went to a river that had a small waterfall.  As soon as I heard the waterfall my need sparked from a 5 to a 8.5.  I got inside the river and, since it was really slippery, I sat on a rock and my bottom half was under the water.  The water was extremely cold and as soon as I got my feet inside the water I went to almost a 10.  When I sat down on the rock my bladder released by itself into my trunks.  So I guess running water and cold water make me need to go more

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I'm actually fine with contact with water! Rather, I find that the worst thing that can happen to me when I need to go to the bathroom but can't is it I'm not alone.

I specifically remember my plane ride to Japan a few years ago, where since I was bound to my seat with anxiety I was too shy to get up to go to the bathroom even once the whole ride. Surprisingly, my needs never got extremely urgent until the very end of the ride, but I was still uncomfortable when an old man got up to go to the bathroom only for it to be locked, and he made this distinct grunting noise I can still imagine to this day. Since he looked to be a very old man, I was worried he would have an accident due to incontinence issues that come with age, which would have caused... problems. ^^;

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Coming near to the toilet when I'm intending to use it, arriving home, sometimes even getting into my car! Washing hands can do it but not regularly. Hearing a tap running has no effect, but certain other water dribbling sounds do. Probably the most inconvenient ones are when I'm at work. I'm a nurse, and I find that both emptying patients catheter bags and filling teir IV drip chambers can have a major effect on my bladder if it's getting fairly full. Both those tasks require standing or squatting in place until whatever is running through has completed, and there have been numerous occasions when I've been trying not to bounce while squatting emptying an IDC bag, or trying not to squirm too noticeably while standing filling an IV chamber, holding on as hard as I can. Sometimes I haven't quite managed it, and have spurted in my panties. (not noticeably)

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Hearing water really doesn’t help. People talking about it, asking if I need to go, asking whether I can hold it etc always makes me squirmier and more desperate. Probably because it’s harder to hold on the more I’m thinking about how badly I need to go!

Being “almost there” is definitely the worst though. It’s always worse when there’s a queue - partly because of having to wait longer, but even if it’s a fast moving queue it means my body has plenty of time to be like “ah, it’s time now” even aside from the sounds of running water, other people peeing etc that you always get in a bathroom. It’s still an issue even if I don’t have to wait - wet knickers because I couldn’t get my jeans undone fast enough are a thing 😅 But I’m never more desperate than when I’m near the front of a queue for the toilet - it can kick in even if I wasn’t bursting to start with, because of the physical memory of all the times I have been. Most of my accidents are of the “didn’t quite make it in time” variety, even though it seems ridiculous to wet myself right in front of the toilet 🙄😅

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