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Even Super Heroines Need a Bathroom Break


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By popular request here is a story I posted in my blog (https://desperatejill.livejournal.com/) back in October 2019.  I had another story like this that I never got around to writing that has been on my list for a while which is going to be about a superheroine who has an extremely small bladder. That one might end up being a novella but in the meantime I had this story which addresses the fact of female superheroes not getting to go to the bathroom and all the frustrations that can bring to them, addressing things such as clothing and how when duty calls sometimes you have to put out the call of nature off for a little while! Enjoy!

I'm also including the picture that inspired the story.

Even Super Heroines Need a Bathroom Break
Diana was drinking lots of coffee in the office again and that was when she realized that she had put it off long enough and that she needed the bathroom and she needed the bathroom bad!
Diana ran down the hall to the office bathroom to find that it was out of order.
"Dammit!" she said as she danced in front of the door. "I will use the bathroom at the coffee shop, that's what I'll do!"
She quickly ran across the street to the coffee shop only to realize that there was a really large line to the bathroom. "Dammit again!" Diana said as she bent at the knees and started hopping in place. "Come on come on, nature calls!"
As Diana stood there in the pretty much stationary ladies room line she started wishing that she hadn't drank so much coffee. The line moved sluggishly but finally it was just about her turn.
"Oh thank God I'm next!" she said as she breathed a sigh of relief because now her thighs were trembling so much that she felt like she was going to explode.
"Somebody help!" a little girl shouted across the street.
Diana looked across the street to see what looked like a criminal with a gun had a little girl at gunpoint.
"It's all yours," the woman in front of her said as she walked out of the bathroom.
"Help!" the little girl shouted.
"Why now?!" Diana shouted. "Nature calls but nature can wait when justice calls!" She looked to the woman who was next in line. "Do you think you could hold my place in line?"
"Sorry if you leave the line you lose your spot," the woman said as she walked into the bathroom.
"Dammit!" Diana shouted
Diana quickly ran across the street, walked into a phone booth and then came out in her battle armor and spandex bodysuit, which incidentally was not something that made for ease at facilitating urination.
"Stop you evil fiend!" Diana shouted at the kidnapper.
"It's Amazing Woman!" the little girl shouted. "The hero to women and girls throughout the world!"
"That's right and I am here to save the day," Diana said while subtly crossing her legs. She really really needed the bathroom.
"Don't move or I will shoot the girl," the man said as he put the gun up to her head.
Diana felt like her bladder was ready to explode but she couldn't leave this little girl to such a dastardly villain.
"Can we negotiate," Diana said as she hopped from foot to foot. "Preferably as quick as possible."
"You got somewhere to be?" the kidnapper said.
"I will always be wherever there is injustice," Diana said but she was really hoping that sometimes she could find injustice in a bathroom so she could pee first. Although in the larger context the ridiculously long lines at the bathroom were a form of injustice that she felt she should probably be battling. But there would be time for that later.
"Please help me!" the little girl shouted.
Diana really wanted to ask the kidnapper if maybe he could wait for a minute but she knew that a vicious kidnapper was not going to pause to give her a bathroom break.
"Hand over the girl or you'll be sorry," Diana said once again hopping from leg to leg.
"You have ants in your pants or something lady?" the kidnapper said.
"I am antsy to see that justice is done!" Diana shouted, deeply wishing that one of her superpowers was extraordinary super bladder strength, but no such luck. She thought to herself that that would probably be a strange power to have but oh so useful and convenient.
"Take this!" the kidnapper said as he fired his gun in Diana's general direction. She deflected the bullet using her titanium bracelets but then the bullet hit a truck that was driving by causing it to swerve and hit a fire hydrant releasing a huge fountain of water into the air.
"Oh my God!" Diana said as she saw the water spouting up into the sky.
While the kidnapper was distracted she began to float in the air and went towards him deflecting his bullets until she had managed to pick him up, spin him around and throw him right into a waiting police truck.
"Amazing Woman saves the day!" someone shouted as a crowd of people came and began cheering.
"It's all in a days work," Diana said as she started looking across the street where she knew that there was a bathroom waiting for her.
She was about to start walking off but then all sorts of police officers and crowds of people surrounded her.
"You saved me, thank you Amazing Woman," the little girl said as she hugged her leg which was trembling. "Why is your leg shaking so much?"
"It is shaking with the trembling of justice!" Diana said as everyone started cheering. She couldn't wait to get across the street to the bathroom.
"You're my favorite superhero in the entire world," the little girl said.
"Thanks kid," she said as she patted the little girl on her head and started trying to get out of the crowd.
"Wait!" the little girl shouted.
"What is it darling," Diana said as she shifted from foot to foot and gritted her teeth.
"Do you think that I could have your autograph?" the girl said as she looked up with blinking eyes.
"Sure," Diana said as she continued shifting in place. "Does anybody have paper and a pen?"
"I'll get one," someone in the crowd said as they ran off.
"Take your time, no rush," Diana said with sarcasm as she looked across the street to see that fire hydrant still spouting its large stream of water that was driving her absolutely frantic.
"Do you have some place to be?" a reporter said. "I was hoping that maybe we could just get a few words. How do you feel right now?"
She felt like she was about to piss herself and that would be quite humiliating in front of the large crowd that she was surrounded by.
"I feel amazing," Diana said. "Because I am Amazing Woman!"
People continued clapping and cheering and she tried to be as subtle as possible about the fact that she was crossing her legs.
"If you could do one thing to improve the city what would it be?" the reporter asked as she put the microphone up to Diana's face.
She wanted to shout better bathroom access for women, she vowed that she was going to make that her next big superhero campaign.
"I think that a greater sense of justice in the city would certainly do well," she said as people applaused and she kept looking off in the distance.
"Are you looking for something?" the reporter asked with a smile.
"I am always on the lookout for the forces of evil," Diana said as people continued cheering. "Any more questions?"
The reporter shook her head. "Maybe I will come back for more questions later, but right now I actually really have to use the bathroom," she said as she ran off.
"Lucky bitch," Diana muttered under her breath as she stared at the reporter running away and wished that she had heat vision so that she could melt her.
"What was that?" someone in the crowd asked.
"I said I have an itch, an itch for justice that must be scratched!" Diana shouted to more applause. She actually had to admit aside from the fact that her costume didn't make it easy for her to urinate it also didn't allow her to scratch herself and it was rather itchy. Why did superheroes always have to wear such itchy and uncomfortable clothing? And why as a female superhero did she decide to wear something so skintight and body hugging? And what was taking that guy so long just getting a pen and pencil?
"I've got the pen and paper," the man said as he finally came back.
"Oh thank God," Diana said as she grabbed the pen and paper and looked down at the little girl still looking up at her with admiration. "What's your name darling?"
"Penelope," she said with a smile, and Diana couldn't help but notice that she seemed to emphasize that last part of her name, that sounded like pee.
Diana slowly bent at the knees and started signing autographs for little Penelope and gave it to her.
"Well now if everybody is safe and justice has been done Amazing Woman has some other very important business to attend to."
"What type of business?" someone in the crowd asked.
"Really important superhero stuff," she said trying not to make it obvious that she was hopping up and down. "Now I am off!"
Diana started flying off until she got down the street at which point she used her super speed to run into the phone booth and quickly get changed back into her business suit and began running into the coffee place only to find that the line was now snaking far out the door.
"What the hell?!" she shouted as she got at the end of the line. "How did it get so long so fast?"
The woman in front of her shook her head. "That crazy Amazing Woman did a lot of damage and it seemed like all the people fleeing from the water main explosion outside all piled into this place to use the bathroom here. It's the only place with a working bathroom right now."
"Great," she said as she sighed. "You know the real injustice in the world is the length of this bathroom line."
"Amen to that sister," the woman said as she smiled.
"You don't think that there's any chance maybe I could cut in line is there?"
"Not a chance," the woman in front of her said as she had a good laugh.
That was when she saw Penelope running over to the front of the line hopping up and down. "Please can I use the bathroom?" Penelope said with sad eyes at the front of the line at which point everybody nodded and clapped as she went into the bathroom and came out a minute later with a smile on her face.
"Now that girl is a true hero," the woman in front of Diana said.
"What about the one who rescued her?"
"Well I suppose if she was here I might let her cut in line for the bathroom as well, but that would probably be the only exception."
Diana was about to say something but she knew that she couldn't give away her secret identity so she just shook her head, crossed her legs and sighed again.
As Penelope walked past her in line she looked up at her and winked and Diana winked back. Somehow Penelope knew that it was her but she knew that Penelope would keep her secret. Diana knew that she had to keep her decorum as a crusader for justice and that nothing would stop that except perhaps an exploding full bladder.
"I really freaking have to pee!" she shouted and Penelope simply shook her head and smiled.

Desperate wonder woman.jpg

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"Nice!  Will there be a chapter 2? "

Most of my stories tend to be standalone stories although I might someday write that longer story about the superheroine with a really small bladder, which could result in multiple instances of where she has to pee and could be a more drawn out thing, and possibly even a full-length novella. Right now it just remains a standalone though.

But I always had a fascination watching superheroes such as Sailor Moon and the sailor scouts and thinking what if they ever had to go to the bathroom in the middle of a fight! The fact that I thought that even when I was a younger child was probably an indication of my later interests that would develop!

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13 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

"Nice!  Will there be a chapter 2? "

Most of my stories tend to be standalone stories although I might someday write that longer story about the superheroine with a really small bladder, which could result in multiple instances of where she has to pee and could be a more drawn out thing, and possibly even a full-length novella. Right now it just remains a standalone though.

But I always had a fascination watching superheroes such as Sailor Moon and the sailor scouts and thinking what if they ever had to go to the bathroom in the middle of a fight! The fact that I thought that even when I was a younger child was probably an indication of my later interests that would develop!

I'd love to see a Sailor Moon story!  Any chance you could write one?

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"I'd love to see a Sailor Moon story!  Any chance you could write one?"

I always intend to eventually publish all of these stories that I write here and in my blog for publication in book form so I always worried about using the idea of someone else's characters as I don't know how that works with copyright. I mean the character in this story was basically Wonder Woman but without me naming her such. I mean I even named her Diana after the actual Wonder Woman because I was inspired by seeing that poster of Wonder Woman looking desperate. But I figure I never actually call the character Wonder Woman, so I figure it's pretty much a generic superhero, even though I think most people can get the reference. To me it's kind of a thorny issue though as I always feel weird about using characters that I didn't create myself.

But even when I was younger and watching Sailor Moon I used to always fantasize about the sailor scouts being really desperate to pee which is probably an indication of the interests I would later have! And the fact that I used to trace pictures of the sailor scouts and draw them naked probably also showed that I would eventually become a lesbian!

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3 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

"That was an excellent read! Can you also write something on Black Widow?"

Funny you should mention her because in the Avengers movie where she was tied up to that chair the whole time I was hoping that she would say that she had to go to the bathroom or something like that!

Dang!! Scar Jo looked so perfect for a bladder bursting scenario in that one!

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