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Tearful Theresa 

 

Theresa sat watching the Prime Minister expectantly. Seven long weeks without kissing her grandchildren, seven weeks without playing with them, pushing them on the garden swing, making them lunch and reading them stories was taking a huge emotional toll. Prior to the national lockdown she saw them daily, four days of which she had them both from 8am until 6pm to let their mum and dad work. Even on the days when either their dad or mum were off she still regularly took them to nursery, collected them or had them over for tea. They filled a hole in her heart that had been there since her own children flew the nest and gave her a reason to live. 

 

Bella and Bailey were everything to Theresa and at 18 months and 4 years old their toys, high chair, car seats, clothes, books and nappies were in every drawer, cupboard and room in the house, exactly as Theresa loved it. 

 

Theresa hung on Boris’s every word praying for hope, praying for a way to touch and hug those babies again. Every day without seeing them or being with them was breaking her and Theresa didn’t know how much longer she could go on. Yes she phoned them daily, video called them before bed and arranged small gifts to be delivered but it wasn’t the same as hugging them and the fact they only lived 2 miles away seemed to make the whole thing 100 times worse. At just 55 Theresa was so glad to have no major health issues nor be old enough to be forced to self isolate to avoid Coronavirus but, she as a law abiding citizen, regardless how much she loved her family, she knew that lockdown was needed. 

 

Still she cried herself to sleep every night missing her family like never before. 

 

Derek understood though he was still working driving lorries delivering essential food and taking every precaution possible to avoid bringing the virus to himself or his wife, even to the point of stripping off as he came in the door, much the amusement of his wife of 33 years. 

 

“From this coming Wednesday a few of the tight restrictions we have all been living with will now be eased. If you can not work from home you may return to work. You can now exercise outside an unlimited amount of times. You no longer need to exercise close to home and you may now drive to exercise...” Boris spoke on the TV.

 

“Right ok. But can I see my babies Boris? Come on...”

 

“We must all keep social distance at all times...” 

 

“Oh....I guess that’s it then. Here I was thinking he’d soften being a new father again Derek. I’m heartbroken...” 

 

“Let him finish woman! He might say more. Listen...”

 

“You can now play sport outside..though only with your own family...those you live with. You may meet one member of another household outside...observing social distance at all times...you must not go into their house. You must remain outside, two metres apart at all times, in a park or outside space...and if the infection rate increases these changes will have to be looked at again. Stay alert, beat the virus, protect the NHS’ 

 

“What? Did I just hear him right? Did you hear that Derek? Did he say I can see Bella and Bailey?”

 

Before Derek even had a chance to reply the phone was ringing. Theresa answered it with tears in her eyes knowing already who it would be. 

 

“Mum! You can see them! You can see me! Just two more days mum! Oh wait until I tell Bella tomorrow! Oh mum she’ll cry! I just know she will. Right...where and what time? Wait a second and I’ll check the weather..brilliant mum it’s to be sunny! Oh mum are you ok?” 

 

Theresa could barely speak. The very thought of just seeing her daughter, her son in law and her grandchildren in person again after almost two months of isolation from them was overwhelming. 

 

“I’m here darling. Oh Tammy! Oh Tammy! Wednesday can’t come quickly enough.” 

 

“Right mum. What about 11am before Bailey takes his nap? The children’s park is still locked and I don’t want the kids to see it but what about the river walkway down by Hyde street? You know the bench there? I’ll meet you at 11 and we can social distance and you can see the kids. It won’t be easy mum. Bailey will just want to toddle right to you as he always does and Bella will run and jump on your knee. I’ll put the reigns on Bella. She’ll hate it but it’s the only way and I’ll put Bailey in the buggy. Oh mum we can do this can’t we? We can meet and not hug? We’ll be ok won’t we?

 

“We’ll be great sweetheart. I promise. You’re dad’s just made me a coffee! I think he reckons I need something to calm me down. I’ll video call in the morning ok. Give Jason my love and kiss those babies for me even If they are sleeping please!” 

 

“I will mum. Love you. Goodnight.”

 

“Night sweetheart. I love you!” 

 

Theresa sipped at her coffee, exactly as she liked it and smiled at Derek. He winked back and said reassuringly, “See I told you you’d see them soon didn’t I?” 

 

“You did love. You certainly did.” 

 

———

 

Wednesday morning Theresa woke alone as Derek had left early for work. She had some toast and a mug of tea and had a shower then chose her clothes carefully. Bailey loved snuggling into her fluffy fleece cardigan, it even smelt like him still but Bella loved her ‘grandma blouse’ which had a top pocket just like grandpas! Theresa smiled to herself as she put the blouse on with her loose skirt and tights and favourite flat shoes. It was a good half hour walk to Hyde Street but the fresh air would be good for her. Theresa found her favourite hand bag and filled it with treats for the children, a teddy for Bella and a ball for Bailey. Just time for a coffee and then she would leave. 

 

Theresa grabbed the cardigan that Bailey loved before heading out the door. It was sunny but a light breeze meant the cardigan would come in handy. Theresa looked out for her daughter and grandchildren as she approached their town but unable to  see them she made her way to the bench and sat at one end. She so wanted to walk the ten minutes to Tammy’s but it would only take a neighbour to see and report her and Theresa shuddered at the very thought. Sitting alone by the river Theresa watched a lone duck in the water as a breeze blow her hair over her eyes. She clipped it back and pulled her cardigan closed. Maybe it was the cool air or sitting opposite the river or maybe it was the walk...but Theresa suddenly needed the toilet so she crossed her legs in the hope it would go away. As she waited for Tammy and the kids she thought about where might be open nearby that she could call in at on the walk home, assuming she might need to. Ideally she’d hold off until back home as she usually did when needing when out. 

 

Before she’d even thought where might be open Theresa heard that beautiful and special voice of Bella calling...

 

“Grandma! Grandma...”

 

Instinctively Theresa held her hands out to her firstborn grandchild then tears came quickly as she realised the reality of social distancing still. Before Bella could reach her she lifted out her favourite teddy from Grandma’s house and laid it on the other arm of the beach. 

 

It was hard not touching the children but after time the children and adults adapted and Theresa loved watching them and photographing them as they both investigated the river and played with the ball.Theresa needed the toilet but there was no way she was leaving her precious family having waited for this time for so long. As she watched the children she crossed and uncrossed her legs and shifted now and again on the bench. Tammy noticed and asked if she was cold but there was no way Theresa would admit her predicament to anyone, let alone her daughter.

 

It wasn’t until Bailey became fussy that Tammy checked her watch and said she had better get the kids back home for lunch and Bailey’s nap. Torn between her now strong need for a toilet and not wanting to part  from her family, Theresa could just nod as Tammy strapped the toddler in the buggy and called her daughter over. 

 

“We’ll video later mum. It won’t be much longer until it’ll be over. We’ll all be ok. I promise.”

 

Theresa felt comforted by her daughters words but quite uncomfortable by the fact her bladder was feeling very full. She toyed with suggesting she come back with Tammy, knowing her house was less than ten minutes away but knew Tammy couldn’t agree even if she wanted. She waved tearfully as her family walked away, bouncing a knee now they were out of sight. 

 

‘Oh I need a toilet’ she muttered quietly as she put her handbag over her head and shoulders and stood up. The very motion of standing having sat down for almost an hour send a wave of pressure through Theresa’s body. Half an hours walk home seemed out of reach all of a sudden as Theresa thought quickly about what her options were. 

 

She started walking as she decided she’d do her best to get home and go there. She’d just need to walk quickly! 

 

A few minutes later and Theresa had to pause to cross a road. The pressure between her legs was strong and she struggled to remain still. 

 

‘Hurry up green man. Come on’ she voiced to herself, eager to keep moving as she felt in more and more need. 

 

She walked briskly, avoiding others as best as she could, her mind racing in her growing need to get home very quickly. Each subsequent road became a more difficult experience as by now Theresa could think of nothing more than getting home and peeing. 

 

Then she heard her name and looked across at someone waving to her. 

 

‘Hi Theresa! You out for your exercise? Lovely day for it isn’t it.’ 

 

Theresa hated being anti social but she HAD to get home. She was bursting for the toilet now and every minute counted. She smiled and waved hoping this would be enough. 

 

‘How’s Derek doing? We’re clapping for the likes of him every Thursday night you know!’ 

 

‘Doing great! Sorry I can’t stop. Maybe see you soon! Stay safe!’ 

 

Theresa bit her lip as she briskly walked on. Her bladder ached. She pressed her thighs tightly together as she walked, hearing the nylon rubbing together and hoping she wasn’t making a huge hole in the tights. She wasn’t sure she would make it on time as her heart thumped with the stress of holding on. Just ten more minutes...

 

At the end of the last street before her own Theresa paused for a second. There was a lane to Tesco and she hesitated as she wondered wether to keep trying for home or risk the toilets at Tesco. She needed oh so badly that she could hardly think now. What if there was a queue at Tesco? But what if she couldn’t make it home? Struggling to remain composed and aching to hold herself between her legs she edged down the path, lined on both sides by hedges of gardens. 

 

Quickly checking no-one could see she pressed a hand at the top of her thigh and bent forward in so much need. Embarrassed and emotional she stopped quickly and composed herself again as she walked sharply down the lane a little more and looked longingly at the store entrance. Was that a line of people waiting? She wasn’t sure. She pushed a leg up behind her as a strong urge rushed through her body. 

 

‘Oh yikes. I need to go!’ she murmured sweating. 

 

Having another quick squeeze she took a few more steps before realising it was definitely a queue and she would in fact be quicker going home. Yet somehow frozen to the spot she concentrated so hard to squeeze her muscles closed and stay dry until she got home. She was frantic for the bathroom by now having been bursting for almost an hour and a half. Her bladder so full and aching and her thighs tightly squeezing with every move. In her younger days she might have risked letting a little go in the lane but she knew in her slightly older years that this would be fatal and she wouldn’t be able to stop. 

 

Determined to try and get home dry she walked quicker than before as she power walked back down the lane and onto the Main Street that ied to her own street. Seeing a couple walking a dog she put her head down and avoided eye contact as she marched quickly last them. Almost home she could feel dribbles escaping and a warmth tickling her between her underwear that teased and mocked her as she held on hard. 

 

‘Almost there’ she cheered herself on as she finally turned into her home street. 

 

Opening her gate the thought of getting release from the pressure was almost too much for Theresa. She pushed her hand on the gate and marched on the spot revealing her severe predicament to anyone who could see. Every step down her path tortured her mind and bladder further as those few steps felt like miles upon miles. 

 

Standing at her own front door, her little porch with handing baskets and a gnome saying ‘welcome’ making her feel relaxed and relieved she dug in her handbag furiously for her key. Unable to control herself her found her other hand instinctively grabbing between her legs in a last ditch effort to hold on. 

 

‘Come on Theresa. You’ve got this far...’ 

 

Finding the key finally Theresa pushed it into the lock and turned it as her handbag began vibrating as her mobile rang. 

 

‘Not now...please not now...’ 

 

Theresa pushed the door open and stepped in, pulling the key out one handed and wishing her phone out with the other. She looked at the screen and saw Tammy’s name. Despite an agonising urgent need to pee Theresa couldn’t nit answer from her only daughter. What if something had happened to those babies of hers? 

 

‘Hi’

 

‘Hi mum! You sound out of breath. Are you ok?’ 

 

‘Yes love. Just stepping inside the front door. You all ok?...actually Tammy can I call you back in a few minutes love...’ 

 

‘I was just worried mum. You looked so stressed today. I’m worried about you.’

 

‘I’m fine love. Honestly. Can I call you back love? I just need to...’

 

With the front door still wide open Theresa could feel tears welling up again. She was dripping again. She could feel it. Her pants were warm and damp and she was so incredibly desperate for the toilet. But something stopped her from telling her own daughter just how urgent, how desperate, how imperative it was that she got to the bathroom urgently.

 

‘Mum are you crying?’ 

 

‘I’m fine love...’ 

 

But Theresa wasn’t fine. Standing just inside her own front door, with the door wide open for anyone to see who happened to pass, she could feel urine running down the inside of her tights. She wanted to scream, to cry, to run away. How could a mum, a grandma even, find herself in such a situation like this unable to hold her own bladder? 

 

‘Mum? You’ve gone quiet. Are you there mum?’ 

 

Theresa stood in silence for a moment as her legs warmed more, her underwear filled fast and her cheeks reddened. The relief wasn’t instant, her body was trying so hard still to hold back, but she couldn’t do it any longer. She couldn’t hold it. She couldn’t refrain. She couldn’t control her own body. She took a deep breathe, sighed audible, and relaxed as the current flowed quicker and quicker between her legs, now rushing violently down both legs and polling under the feet of her tights.  She stepped out of her flat shoes and broadened her legs slightly feeling the squelching and warm as she did so. 

 

‘Mum? Mum?’ 

 

‘Sorry sweetheart. I was....just shutting the door and picking up the mail.’ 

 

‘Mum you sound tearful...’ 

 

‘It’s fine love. It’s just...you know how it is when you’ve waited for something so so long and then it finally happens... but it’s not quite how you hoped it would be?’

 

‘It’s ok mum. I’m sure next time will be better. As long as you are ok. I’ll video call later ok. Love you!’

 

‘Yes honey. Next time will be better won’t it! Love you too!’ 

 

Theresa presses the phone off, pushed the door closed and stripped off her clothes until she was naked, just like her husband had been doing when he got home for 7 and a half weeks now.  He always said it was to stop the so read of the virus but now Theresa couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, even if just once, he too had had a similar accident and didn’t want her to know? That thought made her smile as she placed her wet skirt, tights and underwear into the washing machine and headed upstairs for another shower. 

 

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As someone in this thread has iterated, the matured theme of the character is an interesting knob to turn. And as always, omorashi and talkativety go beautifully hand-in-hand.

The upliftling sense Theresa felt as she stripped also halted a common problem with 'humiliation wettings', which is the sense of, not dread but something curiously familiar. Regardless, excellent piece and good work!

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