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Pee shyness


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I  held it at school in high school mostly because I was to busy chatting with friends between classes as well as that most just held it at school and that was the school culture too. usually the rougher element hung out in the bathrooms so the rest of us just waited until we got home. Usually I would open and close my legs sitting in class with it full. Sometimes I would raise my legs and lean forward as I did that so my thighs were hitting the sides of my swollen bladder. I found myself getting hard many times from the feeling and liked how it felt, that was another reason I held it at school. I would keep holding lifting weights in the school weight room after school and sometimes the bulge in my waist was noticeable if I had my shirt off on the lat bar pulldown  or when doing free weights standing up. It felt good to keep holding it for making out after school as the feelings were  a lot more intense on a full bladder and felt good to have sex with it full. and to have it massaged while I was  turned on. Loved cuddling with it full too as I stayed really hard that way. 

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Oh yes and it’s been a huge problem.  Like someone else here, a night and day switch at about 12 years old. One day in a crowded men’s room, suddenly, totally unable to pee.

 

I can’t count the amount of subterfuge, planning, lies, stress, angst, precision timing and tomfoolery I have had to experience just because of this.  Only lately, decades later have I kinda sorta started getting over it a little... it definitely has a lot to do with just not giving a shit what people think of you anymore. 

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  • 5 months later...
  • 7 months later...

Pee shyness or desperation take your pick.

Pee shyness is something I had to deal with a long time ago. It seems strange I had a fascination for omo at the same time. But I didn’t call it omo because I was too young to know about such things, and that term did not become known to me until many years later. To the best of my knowledge there was never a connection between the two. The omo was fun and the pee shyness was not.

Elementary school, grades one through six, were fine. In or out of school I could pretty much pee whenever or wherever I wanted. Except one time my aunt and uncle took my sister and I to an amusement park with my cousins. At lunchtime my aunt took the girls to the restrooms leaving me with my uncle and baby boy cousin in his carriage.

Me about ten years old was the oldest cousin. My uncle then turns to me and asks if I need to go to the restroom too. However, I reasoned in my head that meant my uncle would escort me and watch me pee. That’s when the pee shyness kicked in for the first time, and so I said, “no I don’t need to go”. That was a lie; I very much did need that trip to the urinal. I was then sternly warned “well then, you better not wet your pants”.  For the remainder of the afternoon, I walked around with a very achy bladder. Had I wet my pants I probably would have received a spanking and it would not have been a first from that uncle.

A few years later, 7th grade, first year of Jr. High School it all changed. The student body was huge compared to Elementary. We were expected to take care of our toilet needs while changing classes or at lunch break. I think it was only a matter of days after starting when I walked confidently into the boys’ room to piss. A friend from the previous year was on my heels yapping and stood right besides me, one elbow on the wall, still yapping, while I pulled it out to go. The flow wouldn’t start. No problem, act like there is nothing wrong, zip up and flush. Sounds pretty matter of fact, right? Wrong, that was the cement that stayed with me into my college years. Hoping I could time it right never happened because the traffic in and out was constant. There where like 15 bowls lined up on one wall with little space between and no partitions. Then just go in one of the stalls, which had doors, right? No! That wouldn’t be normal, someone might think I have a problem. Ridiculous thinking yes, but at 12 years we don’t think rationally.

So, my issue was creating problems. There was a staff’s room near the administration offices, and just a little bit off the beaten paths. I felt my odds of finding it less crowded were better, but if I saw one of the staff going in before me, suddenly I felt shut out. I had a class with the same easy-going teacher three times a week after lunch. So, I started asking to be excused. It didn’t take too long for that teacher to say out loud for the whole class to hear, “what is this, you got a problem or something!? That got lots of laughs, including me to save face.

It was getting to the point I might go the whole school day and not ever go once. That really mattered on Thursdays.

I was always good at drawing. An aunt suggested to my mother I start taking painting lessons with my cousin a few towns away. My mother would pick me up from school and drop me off. All the other students were of similar age and mostly girls. The lessons were given in the lady’s basement where there was no bathroom. Well one Thursday I couldn’t make things happen accordingly, and so I had to leave school with a full bladder. I had to pee so bad that all I could envision while there, was what their bathroom might look like upstairs. No matter how unconformable I was, I still couldn’t muster the courage to speak up and ask if I could use it.  I don’t think it even occurred to me I might lose control and wet my pants. That school year no less than four of my fellow classmates had accidents in school; two in my own class. As large as the student body was, I imagine there were others who wet, and I never knew about it.

I started flying lessons at 16 and had my private license at 17. You might be thinking, “oh, rich kid huh.”. Not really, but that is beside the story. On two occasions flying the same leg round robin, fall cool weather, with the same good buddy, we did the usual and had coffees at the interim airport shop. Knowing better, we hit the head before departing. As you’ve guessed I couldn’t get the flow going. Halfway home I had to piss bad, and I know there is no way I can make it home without a pit stop. Well, it is not like being in a car; you need a suitable landing spot. There was a little airport in proximity with one 2700-foot runway, so I start taking us down. Lined up on final, and me about ready to piss my pants, I begin to see the treetops waving side to side in a very strong 90-degree crosswind. As bad as I had to piss, I knew I was risking a crash landing. So back up to cruise altitude and I am still about to piss my pants. With maybe seconds to spare I climb in the back two seats (there are four total), and piss into a barf bag. BTW, my buddy was able to take the controls. He was laughing so much he up chucked on himself.

Duh, two weeks later and not any smarter I repeat the same mistakes. Only this time I feel compelled to make it home. Silly me thinks my buddy is probably not the wiser and I don’t want to let on about “the problem”.  Tell you what. I don’t think I have ever experienced at other time the level of desperation I felt as on that flight. During the taxi in I was following behind another aircraft, who I thought was going way too slow. To no one else besides my buddy, I was cussing with all the really bad words. Suddenly, this big desperation wave hits me, and I clamp down for all it’s worth. For the non-pilots, you must know that my hands and feet were engaged with the throttle, yoke, and rudder pedals. So, when that wave hit, I summoned some inner kind of strength and felt about four super intense flutters within my groin. At that point I was within about 60 seconds of being able to park the aircraft. However, I still had to get to the Fixed Base Operation on the fourth floor of the terminal building. Flying up the stairs I started spurting before the third floor. Luckily for me there was a men’s’ on the third floor and so I escaped with not much more than soaked underpants and a wet crotch on my jeans. Upon entering the FBO I was admonished by the staff for the fast taxiing.

The drinking age had dropped to 18 near the same time I turned to 18. I know now it was irresponsible, but I was doing like so many others. That is riding around with beer in the car and going to bars and clubs without the designated driver. That’s why the age slowly crept back to 21. Anyway, we all know the outcome of all those liquids on the bladder. It’s also not too good when you have the pee shy problem to go with it. There are too many stories to put here. But a typical scenario went like this: hope for the best at the urinals then pretend I didn’t need to go in the parking garage like the other guys before getting in the car. I have one recollection of riding in the car down Massachusetts Ave in Cambridge and bursting for a piss. I was right on the edge and my friend wouldn’t pull the car over. I was in the back seat and reached into the front to pull the dashboard ash tray out so I could piss in it. No pee shyness then because the piss was coming out no matter what.

This is getting too long so I’ll end with one more that would be near the end of the time with “the problem”. At the very beginning of my career, I went through an extensive training program. The training included doing simulations as if performing live operations. I have always been nervous when being tested in these types of situations. I was 25 years old. In one of these mock operations as soon as it ended the first thing the evaluator askes me is “do you need to go to the bathroom”. I really did need to piss, but I said no, again! Unbelievable that at 25 I was still unable to admit I needed a piss, and I was at the edge then too. I can only wonder what kinds of telltale wiggles and hand manipulations I had been doing to make him say that to me.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/16/2020 at 8:04 PM, w92iasd said:

I don't know if its necessarily considered pee shy but I have certainly held off on going to the bathroom because I was embarrassed to excuse myself from situations. This was worse when I was younger although I still do this. Back in middle school I used to go through entire school days without peeing and I've had very close calls as well because of that.

I was the same, hated others knowing especially girls, almost peed myself one night in front of the babysitter, after dinner we were playing dominoes on the table I was bursting jiggling on my seat couldn’t sit still, couldn’t bring myself to say anything or get up and leave, noticing how frantic I was she asked me if I wanted to take a break and go to the toilet, I just nodded yes and she said on you go I will be here when you get back, I pee danced in front of the loo as I undid my trousers....

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My pee shy girlfriend had a drink or 2 with me in the train station bar where we met up then decided to go to another bar, we stopped to watch the swans on the river from the bridge, we got going again and reached the square with many bars, we stood to survey the scene and decide where next, she was fidgety, she pointed to the closest bar saying what about this place? I said no and lit a cigarette delaying... she paced a little and said well what about this one then, I said too pretentious, bursting for a pee she just wanted to get in a bar, any bar to use the toilet, she then said ok then can you pick one so we can go in I’m bursting to use the toilet ....

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