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Would you mention omorashi kink during dating? If so, in which phase or just in a relationship?


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Hi everyone,
I always thought my love for desperation and omorashi wouldn't be so important in a relationship. Somehow I still do, because being close, loving and caring for each other, giving and receiving affection and cuddling is so much more important. But during my recent, sadly failed relationship I experienced my sexual interest fading really fast. I guess it could be for multiple reasons. Firstly my ex didn't give me very much appreciation and often doubted us, so this made my passion for her begin to fade. But somehow I think sadly my interest in omorashi has grown bigger and I would really like to experience it at least sometimes in a relationship. 
My last two girlfriends thought fantasies of them peeing their pants was sick and disgusting and they told me they would never try it. I also never asked for it. But I noticed I would want to give it a try.

So I wonder if I should mention it anywhere in the dating process because I am actually afraid I could lose a partner because of just telling what I like and I don't want to go through that pain. But also the imagination to mention it during getting to know "by the way I love seeing a woman wet herself" also seems very strange - while it would clearly prevent someone leaving the relationship it could also prevent it for obvious reasons.

So when you date, texting each other, meeting up, the first, second, third time, eventually experiencing that you both begin to fall in love, getting together, being together, after first being intimate.... When do you think it is the right time to tell about our fetish? How did you handle it in the past? How would you handle it now?
And also how would you tell them? I am very curious about this. I won't be dating because my last relationship still needs a bit processing but I also know there will be a time I'll be searching again. *Sigh* It won't be any easier that I also should somehow letting them know that I am an Aspie.

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My take is this is something that has to develop more subtly.  I know it's usually better to get things out up front but most people do see this interest or "kink" as extremely kinky.   I have probed in an indirect way by just telling a short innocuous story about myself or perhaps someone else  having an accident in school. Nothing exactly kinky about a  young school child having an accident. Sometimes it was a story perhaps more fictionalized,  of me at a much later age wherein I  was extremely desperate.  The reactions from the ladies I was with were always negative for some reason. Either a low level of disgust or sometimes laughing / mocking /  incredulous. IOW not somebody who found any interest in it as an adjunct activity  within a relationship

I don't know if I came on too soon or maybe I found out something sooner rather than later...?

 

 

 

Edited by richard3 (see edit history)
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Honestly, I feel like I got incredibly lucky. I mentioned it on the 2nd date. She was glad I did. She wasn’t  into it but she likes knowing what makes me tick, especially sexually. I still wouldn’t say she’s into it but she enjoys it more now than at the beginning.

 

However, with my ex, I waited almost a year before I even kiddingly mentioned it. He reacted pretty negatively towards it. Even went so far to laugh and ridicule me when we were out and I said I needed to use the restroom. 
 

I guess really the best answer is use your best judgment. Every person and relationship is different. If it’s real, she won’t judge you or think differently of you. Hell, you might even find out she enjoys it too but was afraid to bring it up.

 

But most importantly, be honest and if she’s not even open to it, move on. It’ll save you time and hurt feelings down the road. That’s why I was so blunt from the very beginning. If it’s something you really enjoy like myself, then bring it up from the beginning. Don’t be afraid of what you enjoy because someone else doesn’t.

Edited by sammilove (see edit history)
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My current girlfriend and I have been dating long distance for (almost exactly) a month. I told her that I liked diapers before we even started dating. And about my interest in Omo somewhat later. She was very supportive both times and even expressed interest both in wearing diapers for me and in wetting her pants for me. That being said we met through our mutual interest in DDLG relationships so those things aren't that huge of a stretch.

My previous relationship was sort of the opposite. We met at school and I never told her about either kink. Somewhat early in our relationship she expressed disgust for a number of kinks including diapers so I never felt like I could tell her after that. My interest in her eventually faded but momentum kept that relationship going much longer than it should have.

I feel like I'm in a much better place being open about it. It's a topic that I'm very sensitive about and it feels so good not to have to keep that secret from someone. I really feel like we have no secrets from each other and can tell each other anything and that is such an incredible feeling. And I feel like if your relationship has no future its better to know about it sooner rather than later. 

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If you would ask me 15-20 years ago, when I was very young and inexperienced, I would probably say that I would test waters after we had sexual connection established to see if it worth to share. If you ask me now, I will tell that I would mention it in one of the first conversations about sexuality, or sexting. I don't do vanilla dating at this point because I know that while I may enjoy casual/romantic side of it, I will quickly get bored with anything what takes part in the bedroom if my partner is vanilla, and that will be disappointment for us both. And if my dating partner has her own kinks, sharing mine is pretty normal, even if it's different one.

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I don't have a lot of experience with this so I don't know how good my word is on this, but my thoughts are, if you get to the point where it becomes a sexual relationship, that might be a good time to mention it. Maybe ease into the topic of fetishes in some way and let her know you won't make her do any of it unless she's willing to try it. And anyone who's judgmental about it might not be for you.

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I met a girl on Tinder literally 2 weeks ago today, within a week I’d told her about it, that same day she read one of my stories and it TURNED HER ON. One hour ago, she read a second story and enjoyed that too. 
 

In essence, don’t be afraid to bring it up and as for timing, just use your instinct and best judgement. Every guy/girl is different after all. 

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35 minutes ago, Spurgle said:

I met a girl on Tinder literally 2 weeks ago today, within a week I’d told her about it, that same day she read one of my stories and it TURNED HER ON. One hour ago, she read a second story and enjoyed that too. 

I've never used Tinder since I heard a lot of negativity about dating pool there from a lot of people I know, but one kinky guy I know tried to date there recently. He said it was mostly very negative feedback whenever he tried to open up a bit about his kinks to his dates. It was nothing crazy, he was into restraints, rope and other pretty innocent types of play. Probably heavily depends on area and personal luck.

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14 minutes ago, Dtravis said:

I've never used Tinder since I heard a lot of negativity about dating pool there from a lot of people I know, but one kinky guy I know tried to date there recently. He said it was mostly very negative feedback whenever he tried to open up a bit about his kinks to his dates. It was nothing crazy, he was into restraints, rope and other pretty innocent types of play. Probably heavily depends on area and personal luck.

TBF that is like the worst kind of kink to drop on randoms. Women see that and reasonably think danger. Gotta get to know and trust someone before you let them tie you up. 

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1 hour ago, Bulge_Lover said:

TBF that is like the worst kind of kink to drop on randoms. Women see that and reasonably think danger. Gotta get to know and trust someone before you let them tie you up. 

Oh he wasn't dropping it off the bat and wasn't straight asking to tie them up, at least afaik. It's just a typical reaction of vanilla Jane Doe to something kinkier than blowjob. But tbh vanilla guys aren't much better sometimes when they get connected with woman who has fetishes. Of course doesn't help that it all was happening in quite conservative heavy republican area, just outside of "Bible Belt" (if you know what I'm talking about). 

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3 hours ago, Espor said:

Btw. it is a bit strange to stop my witcher 3 game to come here and then getting omo advice from Gwynbleidd.^^

And people say Witcher’s do nothing for free. My steel sword is sheathed. Just hope my input was useful. 

2 hours ago, Dtravis said:

I've never used Tinder since I heard a lot of negativity about dating pool there from a lot of people I know, but one kinky guy I know tried to date there recently. He said it was mostly very negative feedback whenever he tried to open up a bit about his kinks to his dates. It was nothing crazy, he was into restraints, rope and other pretty innocent types of play. Probably heavily depends on area and personal luck.

I’m not sure if luck comes into it, I guess it does maybe. For me, I think it comes down to the individual girl/guy and being totally open with them, not just about kinks but everything, particularly emotions and feelings. I’m very open about my feelings and emotions and I think that allows both parties to feel more comfortable with each other which in turn, makes it easier to share. I never actually set out to tell her, it just happened cause we were sharing at the time and it just felt right. 
 

Also, as it turns out, the girl in question happens to be a rope bunny. 

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17 hours ago, Bulge_Lover said:

TBF that is like the worst kind of kink to drop on randoms. Women see that and reasonably think danger. Gotta get to know and trust someone before you let them tie you up. 

To be honest. I normally mention things like interest in rope first before mentioning Omo. To try work out how open minded my potential partner is. 

I'v always seen rope/ restraint play as more socially acceptable not dangerous. 

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I have litt. No idea which phase this one falls into, but I'd say:just when you completely trust the one you're with, and only then. There's offcourse just you that can decide exactly at what point of your relationship this will be..

Sorry I can't bring more wise words to this discussion, just thought I'd share my two cents worth. 

(have enjoyed reading all the comments btw-thanks for sharing all!) 

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I would say during dating when you are getting to know each other, as soon as you feel comfortable enough to discuss it.

Wait until you find someone who at least accepts your like for omorashi, before you accept them as a partner. That way you won't lose any partners when you tell them about it. 🙂

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I have! I told my partner (of now 2 years) about 3 months in. Granted, we met specifically for the premise that we were both kinky, so it's not like I had no idea how he'd react to weird fetishes. He doesn't want to specifically piss in his pants, but he's cool with doing other omorashi stuff with me. He'll put on a show of being really desperate and barely making it, or begging for me to let him go. It's definitely hot and he loves how I react to it. I did tell him about other fetishes first, mostly to react to see how he'd deal with the stranger stuff. 

I think, overall, it depends on the context of the relationship, and how much you trust that person. If you're looking for tips on how to bring it up, I'd do it outside of a bedroom context. Ask them something along the lines of "Is there anything kinky you'd like to try?" or "Hey, what's your craziest fantasy?" and make a judgment call from there. I think it just depends on how much you trust them, how vanilla versus kinky they are, how long you've been together, how you met, and what your sex life has been like so far. I don't think there are any exact answers to this, unfortunately. Like I said, in my situation, there was a specific expectation. It was literally him advertising on a site "Hey I like x fetish (not omo) and I'm single" and me going "Holy crap he's cute. X isn't my thing per se, but I can fulfill it" and me sending him a message, so most of our cards were laid out on the table from the beginning. 

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I don't usually mention it during the dating phase, although I have brought up the topic several times when the woman I was dating expressed an interest in kink and fetishes generally. I was never sorry that I fessed up to it. A few said they were not interested, but one turned out to be enthusiastic about it.

Usually I wait until the relationship is fairly well established. By that time, my intuition tells me whether it's okay to broach the subject with her or whether she's the type who just wouldn't be into it.

As mentioned, I have had a few who said they were not interested, and one who was enthusiastic, but no one ever expressed bad feelings about it, and when I waited till I was sure that the long term partner had kinky interests, two of them said yes to it.

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I told it to my ex right before we moved in our appartment. Before when she lived in her appartment and I in my it was easy to pee myself. But when we lived together it was little bit more problem- yes it was possible do this activities when she was in her work but you must put jeans in laundry and wash the jeans so much often it is not normal, so I told to her about my fetish.

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I didn’t know why at the moment, but I ungracefully blurted it out to my now wife probably a month into us dating long distance about my interest in “pee play.”  I thought it was a tamer version of my actual kink of AB/DL and bondage.  I had just got out of a relationship where my kinks weren’t accepted, so I think it played a huge role in me mentioning it so quickly.  I realized suppressing my kinks led to being unhappy so I needed to be up front in any new relationship and move on if they were rejected.  

Edited by DDCouple
Clarify (see edit history)
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On 5/3/2020 at 11:02 PM, Lukhas said:

I told it to my ex right before we moved in our appartment. Before when she lived in her appartment and I in my it was easy to pee myself. But when we lived together it was little bit more problem- yes it was possible do this activities when she was in her work but you must put jeans in laundry and wash the jeans so much often it is not normal, so I told to her about my fetish.

how did she react if I may ask?

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One of the issues that I have with telling a girlfriend about my kink is that if we share a circle of friends, which is normally the case, I don't want her spreading this information around everyone else.

Therefore, we would have to have built up a high level of trust and intimacy first.

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