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malefemale Emptiness Ain't All Bad


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Hello everybody. I certainly don't do real-life stuff on the site often, so let's break the streak and do something in reality. And be very bold about it.

To give the setting, there's a small nature park right down the street where I live, and I do mean small. There's a gazebo with a tiny bit of open grass, with a picnic table and maybe two benches, and then it's just some nature trails through the trees. There's really nothing to do there, so it'd be empty even if the world were normal. I've got a soft spot for it, though, since it's always been near me and it's a good place to just be able to breathe. And a good place for other matters.

It's not something I do often, but I go out and take some walks around the neighborhood every once in a while now that I'm back at home, just as a reason to get out of the house with some music or a podcast (it would be more productive to listen to a podcast, but The Megas call to me). Usually, I'd head up the street and loop around through a bigger open patch of land behind the nearby elementary school, it's an easy, paved path where I almost always see some cute dogs being walked, but somewhere around the start of the month (or maybe the end of March), I thought to extend the walk and go to the park I mentioned. Perhaps not for entirely pure motives. I could feel a little in my bladder and, well, I do enjoy outdoor urination.

So, once I reach the park and see nobody there (as I expect), I head down the trails and begin wandering. Just to take in the short, mostly dead, dense foliage? I mean, I like that too, but I was looking to find a clearing, a more open spot just a little off the trail, with a nice thick tree to "water". I knew there were tiny clearings from when I was younger, it was just a matter of finding a good one. And I did. No trees big enough for my liking, and the better ones were surrounded by branches that made them difficult to approach, but I found a decent enough tree that I could step right up to. With worry and paranoia setting in about someone stumbling across me, I listen out for any noises that can't be attributed to scurrying squirrels and the odd passing car. And, actually, it sounded like one of the nearby houses was having some work done on it, but nobody on the trails to the best of my hearing. What matters is I was secure enough to unzip my fly, and...well, I'm a guy peeing on a tree. I think we all know what that looks like. Nothing big, just a fun little time. It remained secret, and I was soon on my way. But this would soon turn out to be just a test run.

Fast forward to April 6th, the weather is supposed to be good, and I decide that I would "take a walk" today. I wanted to build up to something good, so I skipped the morning toilet visit right out of bed, grabbed a cup of water (actually rare for me, I don't drink much), and set to work on my usual stuff for the day. The goal: build up to really have to pee before I head out. Now, I'm not one for holding, I find that an uncomfortable bladder distracts me from work, and since I'm always doing something to keep myself busy, it's just a nuisance. But today, I was feeling adventurous, so I spent the next few hours on homework, with another cup of water in the meantime. My plan was to wait until noon to eat lunch, and then go out.

Almost made it, too. By 11:45, I was deeply uncomfortable. Not the worst I've ever needed to pee, but definitely the worst I've deliberately waited. If I pressed my fingers against my lower stomach, I could feel an added curve from my bladder (not easy to feel, either, since I'm a bit of a fat guy). Probably an 8/10, I wasn't holding myself or crossing my legs or leaking, those just aren't things I do, but it was taking a toll on my willpower and resolve. Physically, I could have made it until after lunch, since it was just microwaved leftovers that would have taken minutes to prepare and eat, but mentally, I couldn't do it. So, against my usual routine self that always eats lunch at noon, I needed to go on my walk. So, I got dressed, with some noticeably tight pants (again, chubby), struggle with a sweatshirt because my pants are too tight for the pockets to be all that useful and I need pockets, get a bunch of stuff into said pockets (phone with headphones attached and an external battery because my phone's battery was awful, it completely died a week ago and I just got a replacement), and told my mom I was heading out. Straight for the park, because there was no time to waste.

Since I knew I was heading for relief, and my body could handle its liquid contents, the walk wasn't hard, but I wanted to get there. Not enough to move any faster than a usual walking speed, since that makes me tired (do I need to repeat myself?), but I got there. The place was empty, as usual, and I headed down back into the stealthy trees. And, as I soon discovered, the muddy trails. It had rained a few days ago, and the dirt trails were still very wet, some spots with visible puddles. Which made traversing them all the more difficult, because I didn't want to step in them and get my shoes muddy, so I had to traipse the borders, where it was safer. And slower. I hated it. Plus, I was taking the long way around to the clearing, since I didn't remember the optimal path. I made it just fine, though, to the same tree I had marked last time I went through.

This time, since I came here ready and desperate, I wanted to do more than just pee, I wanted to preserve it. Which meant fumbling in my pockets to get my phone out, stop what I was listening to so I could listen for other people, keep the battery attached as I pointed the camera down towards my crotch and hit record. Not a moment too soon, because I needed to go and I soaked the trunk down. Lasted quite some time, and it felt really good.

And then I discovered that, in my haste to just get the camera open, I hadn't scrolled over to video mode. I had just taken a picture before there was anything to see. So that was a bummer. As was my shoes still getting dirty from the mud getting here in the first place, despite my best efforts. I felt relieved, and it did feel good to let such a long, splattery pee out on a tree, but I had no evidence, and dirty shoes. It was a shame. I did take an after picture of the tree, though. For you.

IMG_1318.thumb.JPG.f942bf97de6b7e1f993e80bd3603d3a6.JPG

Now, the story skips to today, April 29th. I didn't want to try something like this again until we had gone a good few days without rain, just so the trails wouldn't be muddy. What followed was three weeks of intermittent rain, raining on my parade and making it impossible. But I figured, hey, it might be dry enough today for some reason, the weather's good, perhaps I should. This time, I wasn't planning my day around it, I didn't even know the weather would be good until later, so I only made the decision after noon. But if I was going to do this, I'd need to build up some desperation first, to make the excursion worthwhile. Like I said, I don't do holding, so I don't know the proper way to get desperate easily. Instead, I did it a way that made sense to me: chug two cups of water and play the entirety of Mega Man 7 in one sitting. Went well, beat Wily Machine 7 in one try (all you MM7 players know that's an accomplishment). I didn't quite have to go that badly, but it was 4 PM by now, I didn't have time to wait around. Once again, grabbed my stuff (with looser pants and no extra battery) and out the door I was. I wanted to let myself build up a little, so my first destination was the school I mentioned at the beginning, and even went around a pond up there, because it looked nice and it would take some extra time. Then it was back past my house in the other direction, to the park.

This time, there were some people there, but they were hanging around up top, so the nature trails were deserted. And good thing to, because I had some "nature" that needed attending to. Okay, maybe "needed" isn't the right word, I wasn't really any more desperate than when I left. More desperate than I would be if I were using the toilet at home, but a far cry from that previous experience. But, I wasn't going to let that, or the trails being muddy once again, deter me. I was more careful walking to my now-favorite tree.

And this time, I knew to be prepared. Listen out for people. Get my phone out and camera ready. Actually switch to video mode this time, and make sure its recording. Only then could I pull my parts out and begin releasing that golden stream. The power wasn't much to write home about, nor was the consistency or length, but it was enough to be satisfying. I do love the sound of a stream of water, conveniently the power of a well-needed pee, colliding with a hard tree trunk and its loose bark, cascading down onto the dry leaves at the roots. Of course, I prefer it with a little more power and maybe a bit closer to the ground, say, from a woman that needed to go much worse than I did, but I won't be that picky. Wait, why do I need to describe it? I took video, after all.

After three trips out to the same park, and the same tree, I now know this is an easy way to have a bit of naughty fun. I'll have to plan a little better next time. While I may not enjoy it in the moment, I think in the long run, it'd be worth getting as desperate as the second time again, and actually having proof I did it. When will that be? I don't know, it's a pretty impulsive decision. But I'm looking for it.

 

 

 

Oh, you wanna see the video, do you? Well, when I said at the beginning that I was being "bold", it wasn't due to public urination. It was sharing this video.

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