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A Willing Partner, But Still Embarrassed? Need Advice.


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Hey, everyone!

My name is Leo.  I'm a long-time lurker around these forums, but finally decided to take the plunge and make an account today.  I find myself in a unique situation and am interested in getting your (male and female) perspectives and advice.

I have been into omo and similar pee-related fetishes for as long as I can remember, but have always struggled with thinking these interests are off-the-wall weird.  Until my current relationship, I have never divulged them to anyone and, honestly, never thought I would.  Omo is something I've always privately relished, but put on hold when getting serious with someone.

My girlfriend and I have been having sex for a little over a year now.  We both like to keep things interesting and try new things, even if we don't expect them to be "our thing".  On day one, we laid out a list of things we aren't comfortable with trying.  Pee fetishes were on her list.  I was disappointed, but not surprised.  She must have somehow read that I was holding back because she started probing and asking me if I had any fetishes.  Eventually, she narrowed it down and figured it out.  Since, she has retracted that she's not comfortable trying it and has been very supportive.  Other than her list on day one, she has never said anything negative about pee fetishes.  I never bring it up, but she actively makes efforts to include it in our sex life.  She lets me watch her use the toilet, lets me watch her try to pee standing, has aimed for me while I peed, we have peed in the shower together, we have peed on each other while making out, and we even tried a golden shower.  She was a little pee-shy at first, but has been very eager to include my interests otherwise.  She says that the peeing itself doesn't do anything for her, but that it turns her on to see it turning me on.  Every now and then, she researches omo and comes to me with things she has found to see if I'm interested in trying them.

I recognize I am in an extremely lucky position to have someone who actively supports and tries to satisfy these desires.  Despite this, I still have an extremely difficult time talking to her about my interests.  I think I'm just embarrassed and scared something I mention will be too weird for her.  When we are engaging in my pee fantasies, there's always a sense of worry in the back of my head that maybe she's uncomfortable, turned off by it, or simply not enjoying it, all to the point that I sometimes have difficulty really living in the moment of it.

From her research, she has come to me with suggestions of trying wetting, bed wetting, peeing into containers, peeing around the house, peeing outside, having sex in a public (single-occupant) restroom, and essentially gave me a blank check to engage in any of my pee interests, provided they don't involve ingesting urine and won't get us arrested.

My biggest kinks are the following:  girls peeing into urinals, peeing standing, peeing outside, wetting, public peeing/wetting/etc (not feasible, I know), peeing in unusual places, us wetting on each other, us peeing into the same toilet simultaneously, and us peeing together in general.

All this to ask: what is your advice?  I would love to share my fetish with her as far as she feels comfortable, but I'm very embarrassed by it and am afraid of weirding her out--particularly with the urinal one.  Any ladies reading this, I'm particularly interested in your perspective.

 

Thanks, everyone!

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What about ‘sharing’ the embarrassment by say she does something on your sexual ‘bucket list’ and you do something on hers so it isn’t one self sacrificing all the time. This way you might find out any sexual kinks she has that she maybe hasn’t felt able to share or just something she’s would like to try. 
when your  kink has been intensely private all your life it can be hard to find real life as arousing as you expect it to be. It can sometimes feel staged too which is what you describe. 
I’d try going with the flow more. Nothing staged just laughing and having fun and having some drinks and see how things naturally develop without anything forced. 
you sound like a great fit together and I really hope this is the person for you. Wishing you the best of luck together 

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It sounds like you are very lucky to have found a woman who loves you enough to try to find different forms of pee play to please you. And conversely you are concerned about her pleasure/or displeasure. That is what I call love. Like mgbpeelover said find out about her "naughty pleasures", and offer to fulfill her's  and don't be shy about allowing her  to take care of you.

I would start with things you can enjoy around the house in private.

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It sounds like she really doesn't mind doing this stuff and that she gets pleasure from how much you get turned on by it. She even suggested stuff like wetting, and you said you already gave each other golden showers, so you could try wetting on each other. It doesn't sound like she gets weirded out by it, the only things she wants to avoid is drinking pee or something that would get them arrested. I know it can still feel a little weird, but she's willing to go with it, and remember, you being turned on by it turns her on. You want to give her a good time, right?

And as the others said, try something on her list too.

Edited by The Dark Wolf (see edit history)
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On 3/14/2020 at 4:10 PM, PeesAndQs said:

From her research, she has come to me with suggestions of trying wetting, bed wetting, peeing into containers, peeing around the house, peeing outside, having sex in a public (single-occupant) restroom, and essentially gave me a blank check to engage in any of my pee interests, provided they don't involve ingesting urine and won't get us arrested.

I have re written my earlier post as it maybe didn’t convey things exactly as I’d wished.

Firstly, congrats, she’s a keeper!

There’s two points I’d make to you, one about you and one about her.

The first is to say that my impression (and I’m conscious I don’t know you so may be wrong) is that you’re not really comfortable with who you are yet. I get it, I’ve been there. You have this fetish but you think of it as weird, embarrassing or uncomfortable. I am straight but I liken having an omo fetish to being gay, as in, you have a sexuality that you see as irregular and you’re afraid of others finding out. Well, you can draw a lot of inspiration from the LGBT community, because so many stand up and say “this is me and if you don’t like it, f**k you, I don’t care, I’m still me”. HAVE NO SHAME IN BEING YOU.

I have also learned from my relationships and past failings that there’s not much a woman finds hotter than a guy who is totally sure of himself, totally secure in who he is. Yet there’s also not much of a bigger turn off than a guy who is awkward about who they are. Remember, not just in sex but in life, if you look someone in the eye and unashamedly tell them you are [anything], more often than not they will accept you without judgement. And in your case, she already has, so embrace it and enjoy it.

Now, lets consider things from her perspective.

She’s doing this because she wants you to enjoy it and wants you to want her... that’s her kink. It is supposed to be fun and she’ll see it that taking your sex life to the next level also takes your relationship to the next level = a more content and secure gf. Conveying awkwardness or embarrassment to her risks making her feel awkward and embarrassed, and that’s not a road you want to go down. Her thinking you didn’t enjoy it is the easiest way for you to ruin this amazing thing you have going!

So, without meaning to sound harsh, you’ve got to lose your inhibitions, because it sounds like she’s already lost hers and she has made that step to please you. So go for it, be brave, tell her what you want her to do, tell her how much you’ll love it, tell her how sexy you think she is, how much her doing that makes you want her. Look her in the eye, be confident and assured when you speak. And never, never take it for granted. Buy her flowers the next day, make her breakfast in bed, let her know she drives you wild.
 

If you do all that, if you embrace your sexuality with confidence not shame, if you show her how amazing she’s being, you will get rewarded spades.

The final point I’ll make is just a warning not to ask too frequently. You don’t want her feeling like you need it, because that makes get put pressure on herself, if she thinks she always needs to ’perform’. Some days, she just might not fancy it, others she will actively crave it. Go with the flow, but don’t ask her to do it more than about 50% of the times you engage sexually. If she offers more, then lucky fucking you! 😉

Good luck bro.

 Aloo

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 3/14/2020 at 8:53 PM, Mbgpeelover said:

What about ‘sharing’ the embarrassment by say she does something on your sexual ‘bucket list’ and you do something on hers so it isn’t one self sacrificing all the time. This way you might find out any sexual kinks she has that she maybe hasn’t felt able to share or just something she’s would like to try. 
when your  kink has been intensely private all your life it can be hard to find real life as arousing as you expect it to be. It can sometimes feel staged too which is what you describe. 
I’d try going with the flow more. Nothing staged just laughing and having fun and having some drinks and see how things naturally develop without anything forced. 
you sound like a great fit together and I really hope this is the person for you. Wishing you the best of luck together 

Thanks so much!  We have a list of things we each want to try and we go through it a lot.  I love exploring her interests and I love that she takes an interest in mine.  I know she feels the same way in return, but I think you hit the nail on the head.  This, specifically, is difficult for me because I have kept it so intensely private my whole life.  I think I'll try your advice and see how it goes.

 

On 3/14/2020 at 10:01 PM, wettingman said:

It sounds like you are very lucky to have found a woman who loves you enough to try to find different forms of pee play to please you. And conversely you are concerned about her pleasure/or displeasure. That is what I call love. Like mgbpeelover said find out about her "naughty pleasures", and offer to fulfill her's  and don't be shy about allowing her  to take care of you.

I would start with things you can enjoy around the house in private.

Thanks!  She is extremely special.  I think I simply need to push through and overcome the shyness.

 

On 3/15/2020 at 1:02 PM, The Dark Wolf said:

I know it can still feel a little weird, but she's willing to go with it, and remember, you being turned on by it turns her on. You want to give her a good time, right?

That's a good point.  Thanks!

 

On 3/15/2020 at 7:18 PM, aloo said:

There’s two points I’d make to you, one about you and one about her.

Thanks for putting time into this!  You made some really good points that I really needed to hear.

 

On 3/16/2020 at 11:23 PM, LivingOmo said:

I wanted to show solidarity because you described the EXACT WAY i also feel. Its really the whole "he is turned on when i am turned on' and so is supportive and wants to try things for me but then i feel like he isn't really into it and it makes me shy to try things. Thanks for talking about this issue and getting replies on it! Helps others like me out too!

I'm glad to hear it helped!  It's funny because it seems so silly in reverse.  Whenever she's super into something, I want to explore it with her.  I don't want her to feel like she needs to hide anything even if it's not something I'm personally into.  Yet here i am doing exactly that.  I guess that gives it some perspective.

 

On 3/23/2020 at 7:42 AM, Skirt Accident said:

I'd suggest starting with simple knicker wetting. Just make her hold it until she can't anymore and wets her knickers, and see if she enjoys it. The more unusual, esoteric kinks like using a urinal or public urination can come further down the line if she's comfortable with them.

Thanks for the tip!  Yea I definitely plan on keeping it pretty tame for a while.

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