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How to tell someone you don't want to have sex?

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Maybe it's a silly question, but how to tell a guy you don't want to have sex with him, but still want to stay friends? The problem is, he already received an oral pleasure in the heat of a moment and had hands between your legs number of times, so he assumes sex is just a question of time. Or should I just let him do it for sake of our friendship?

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If you go through with it just one time, he'll expect it more and also get the wrong idea that you want a relationship beyond "just friends". Just be honest, let him know you like him as a friend, and you've had time to think things over and that you just don't see the two of you being a good fit as a couple moving forward.

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I dont know the whole story so I guess my question would be did you make it clear sex was out of the question to begin with, ik no means no,  for anyone, but some people will get the wrong impression if you dont make that clear right away, did you say “i dont wanna have sex, but we can do foreplay and oral stuff” or was it just only heat of the moment things that you now regret? If you dont want it to go farther tell him, if you consented to the oral and hand things and are still ok with that stuff make that clear to him and say “i dont mind doing that but i dont wanna have sex, and i hope you can understand that, and if not and you dont wanna do this anymore i understand” but if you didnt make it clear you didnt want any of that or at the time didnt have a problem but now do, tell him you dont want anything further and apologize for giving him the impression it was gonna go into something farther, again idk the full story or further of your feelings so my answer can go in several different directions 

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Tell him no and if he gets too pushy about it remind him that him getting oral was gift, not a promise.  If he still wont stop, call him an asshole and tell him to fuck off.

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10 hours ago, Brittanybunny said:

I dont know the whole story so I guess my question would be did you make it clear sex was out of the question to begin with, ik no means no,  for anyone, but some people will get the wrong impression if you dont make that clear right away, did you say “i dont wanna have sex, but we can do foreplay and oral stuff” or was it just only heat of the moment things that you now regret? If you dont want it to go farther tell him, if you consented to the oral and hand things and are still ok with that stuff make that clear to him and say “i dont mind doing that but i dont wanna have sex, and i hope you can understand that, and if not and you dont wanna do this anymore i understand” but if you didnt make it clear you didnt want any of that or at the time didnt have a problem but now do, tell him you dont want anything further and apologize for giving him the impression it was gonna go into something farther, again idk the full story or further of your feelings so my answer can go in several different directions 

I didn't say "no" yet and wiggled out of that situation with the excuse of headache and went home (a cliche, I know). It worked once, but can't do it again next time. The story is kind of complicated. He is part of our group for a while now and a few months ago he complimented my ass in a tight dress and I encouraged him to touch it to see it's real thing, not a padded dress. I always let him touch me after that, because I like it and makes me horny. It's something he is doing occasionally. It always surprises me when it happens, sometimes is more intensive, sometimes just a tinny naughty slip of a hand on my inner thigh or ass and thing never went further, except once when I gave him oral pleasure. It was stupid thing to do and it just kind of happened when we were alone and one thing lead to another. And even that was a few weeks ago and we saw each other in the meantime and he never let me know he wants more, until now. I didn't even know he is gay. I thought he is hanging out with crossdressers just for fun and he is touching me secretly just because he wants to tease me a little when people are around and it's a naughty thing to touch someone on private parts under the table or from behind when standing in a crowd. But sex with men I don't like that much. It's not much pleasure in it when playing a woman's role. I also don't even know if it's a one time thing he wants to explore or it's something it will happen regularly in the future. Maybe he is doing to all of us and I just didn't notice it. He is more of a gentle soul and I assume he will not push it further if I say no, but I'm afraid I'll hurt his feelings and he will avoid me after that. That would be twice bad. I would lose a friend I like and he is part of the crowd I hang out with and who knows who will chose to hang out with if they have to chose one of us. 

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6 hours ago, CarmenCD said:

I didn't say "no" yet and wiggled out of that situation with the excuse of headache and went home (a cliche, I know). It worked once, but can't do it again next time. The story is kind of complicated. He is part of our group for a while now and a few months ago he complimented my ass in a tight dress and I encouraged him to touch it to see it's real thing, not a padded dress. I always let him touch me after that, because I like it and makes me horny. It's something he is doing occasionally. It always surprises me when it happens, sometimes is more intensive, sometimes just a tinny naughty slip of a hand on my inner thigh or ass and thing never went further, except once when I gave him oral pleasure. It was stupid thing to do and it just kind of happened when we were alone and one thing lead to another. And even that was a few weeks ago and we saw each other in the meantime and he never let me know he wants more, until now. I didn't even know he is gay. I thought he is hanging out with crossdressers just for fun and he is touching me secretly just because he wants to tease me a little when people are around and it's a naughty thing to touch someone on private parts under the table or from behind when standing in a crowd. But sex with men I don't like that much. It's not much pleasure in it when playing a woman's role. I also don't even know if it's a one time thing he wants to explore or it's something it will happen regularly in the future. Maybe he is doing to all of us and I just didn't notice it. He is more of a gentle soul and I assume he will not push it further if I say no, but I'm afraid I'll hurt his feelings and he will avoid me after that. That would be twice bad. I would lose a friend I like and he is part of the crowd I hang out with and who knows who will chose to hang out with if they have to chose one of us. 

Id say be honest, if you regret the oral id talk about that, but say its not his fault, if you did it in the heat of things and regret it now then id tell him that, and it just spiraled into something you dont really desire, including sex, and just say you wanna be friends but if he is kinda distant for a while because of this you will understand, who knows, he may not be mad at all, maybe he will be disappointed or lead on and just need space and its good to understand if he does, id say be honest then and just apologize if he got the wrong impression since there were things involved you didnt really want but did by mistake

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@Brittanybunny  You think honesty is best policy in this case? I don't regret oral, it was fun and would do it again if asked, but I think sex question would not popup, if I wouldn't do oral back then. Basically I want things to be like they were before sex question came. I would miss his gentle touches, if he distance himself from me, but don't want to have real sex with him, because I don't enjoy having sex with a men.

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2 hours ago, CarmenCD said:

@Brittanybunny  You think honesty is best policy in this case? I don't regret oral, it was fun and would do it again if asked, but I think sex question would not popup, if I wouldn't do oral back then. Basically I want things to be like they were before sex question came. I would miss his gentle touches, if he distance himself from me, but don't want to have real sex with him, because I don't enjoy having sex with a men.

Honesty is the best policy with this then, the only reason i say to apologize is he may have gotten the wrong idea if  no sex wasnt a standard made in the beginning, if you are ok with the oral then thats fine, id say make it clear before he gets too tangled with thinking farther than what you are comfortable with, when i say distant i guess i mean there is 3 outcomes. 1 where he will understand and respect that 2. He understands but takes some space to think and may be a bit distant to try and understand it all or 3. He rejects it all together and just wants to be left alone, either way, its best to respect whatever he reacts unless he thinks he deserves sex, which is why i say to say sorry if things were lead to belief that it would turn into that

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