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Coming Out?

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I think I wanna tell my fiancé about my fetish. I know, it’s kinda late in the relationship...

Anyways, I feel like I’ve made myself fairly obvious with my fetish. I’m always making comments about her peeing, tickling her when she has to pee, and and other subconscious things I’m sure. I just want to explicitly come out and tell her about it. A few things prevent me, however:

I still use the internet for fetish material. Not nearly as often as before we got together, but it has become a bit of a habit for me recently, often to get in the mood for sex (I am still attracted to her, and normal, spontaneous sex happens frequently - I just find “pre-gaming” helps make the sex better?). Not sure if it’s becoming a more frequent thing for me since I was repressing omorashi for a while? At any rate it’s porn, and I don’t think she’ll like that  

One of her sisters pees herself about once a month, and that is a massive turn on for me. I don’t feel good about this, and I’m not generally attracted to her, but you know what it’s like: when a real life, public wetting happens, it doesn’t matter how you feel about that person, it’s gonna be a huge turn on with our fetish. I feel as though she’s gonna connect the dots and feel betrayed, or feel compelled to tell her sister, exposing me as a closeted weirdo to the community.

She hasn’t really expressed a desire for the fetish. I’m not expecting her to do anything omo related, but I’m thinking she might be less into sex with me, or feel forced into a fetish she doesn’t like?

All in all I feel like I’m cheating on her with omo. It’s a big bag to spill though. I’ve only ever told one girl before and she split a week later, as she wet herself on a few occasions and told me she felt violated because I was getting off to her embarrassment. I don’t want to lose my girl over this, but hiding it from her has made me feel like I’m hiding a monster, aka my full true self. Any helpful advice on this? 

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Listen to me man. Just do it. You can not go your entire life hiding the majority of your sexuality. Is there a chance it can tank the relationship? I'd be lying if I said no. However, if it's gonna go down, it's better that it go down now than for you to be frustrated for years or decades and for it to all fall apart when you've already built a life together.

You are who you are. I've personally told four real-life friends and girlfriends about the fetish and not a single one complained about it. In fact I'm like 95% sure one of them is into it, she kinda randomly peed on skype with me, but she's like my best friend and married with a kid in a far-off state so WTF am I even supposed to do with that?

Got sidetracked, sorry. Anyway, in the modern day, a lot of people are open to a lot of things.

Sit her down, take a deep breath, and explain yourself.

One thing I will say: If your version of the fetish is mainly based in humiliation, maybe curve the bullet around that part. Make it sound like you don't really know why you like seeing women pee, it's just the way that it is, you were born like this. "Everybody's got something."

Once it's established that she's totally okay with it or even into it, after a long time, THEN you can start to slide the intricacies into it.

I can say, if I wasn't at all into this by default, and some fucko told me that peeing myself and acting embarrassed about it got him off, I would be extremely ornery about it. Eeeaaaassseee into that stuff. You know that you don't actually disrespect her, but that might not be so clear to her until she begins to understand it herself.

And her sister. If she mentions her sister's wettings, here's what you say. Memorize this shit.

"You gotta understand, seeing other women pee, it's like seeing a naked woman in a movie. Like yeah, that's nice and all, but I want it to be you. I love YOU. You're the most beautiful person to me. Other people doing it doesn't matter, it's just something that happens. It's only special if you do it with me."

There also is a chance that she'll share it with her sister and close friends. This seems terrifying, but there's nothing wrong with it. Women have their own rules and codes, and look on the bright side: If she's not super into it at first, maybe one of these friends will be and they'll convince her to give it a shot.

Good luck to you. Don't wimp out. It has to be done if you're ever going to be truly happy, which is something that everyone deserves.

 

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Do what Bulge says, he pretty much gets it.

We only get one really good chance at this. If she loves you, she'll like the result. If not well....

I've known women who for various reasons wet themselves, however, it either was not a good fit with me or they never found it a turn on. Where wetting did have an affect was when a women could use it to largely get the upper hand in the relationship. I did not mind and I tried harder to please them. The two that did decide to start wetting their pants laughed their asses off when the realized the benefits.

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Not going to beat a dead horse so what bulge said. I do want to say that maybe she won't be into it and that is okay. Explain yourself and be honest.  My wife knows about my fetish but is not interested. Of course and this is important,  she knows I am on here and watch porn with this fetish and she is perfectly okay with that. So getting to the point, she may not be interested but I would hope she would be accepting. 

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Gotta add not only agreement with Bulge Lover, but also do not go your whole life worried that your wife will find out you look at porn. If your partner can’t handle the fact that you, like every other human on the planet, look at porn, then don’t be with them. Not because of the porn itself but because that’s a sign of extremely unhealthy and controlling relationship patterns. Don’t get stuck in that. If she can’t take you looking at porn run away. Far away.

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Some years ago I attended Seattle's University Baptist church where a homosexual couple had come out some months previously.  (The church voted to dissolve their corporation in 2017.  They were entirely serious about the statement in the turquoise sand dunes at

https://www.facebook.com/ubcseattle/

)  At a meeting of 12 or 15 members, I came out as a urophilic.  The gay couple seemed relieved that another church member had come out about an alternative orientation.  Otherwise, nothing much changed about the way the congregation members interacted with me.

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Seattle, huh. I've seen more wet pants in Seattle than almost any place I've ever been.

I used to go to Sea Fair every year. Would spend all day Friday and Sunday at the park that made up two sides of the race course. Alcohol was everywhere and no rules about what or how much you could bring. The weather was always hot and nearly all the women wore swim suits and/or short shorts.

Over the years I saw so many women wet themselves and simply not care about it, that I lost track. Those were the best of times.

 

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Good luck hun, have the conversation, you might be surprised and it's important if you want to be happy and sexually fulfilled. I've been slowly developing my fetish with my very vanilla husband for years and I love it when he gets creative and say fucks me in a puddle or treats me like his little girl. But it took a lot of time to develop this and lots of communication.

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1 hour ago, lhansen said:

Seattle, huh. I've seen more wet pants in Seattle than almost any place I've ever been.

I used to go to Sea Fair every year. Would spend all day Friday and Sunday at the park that made up two sides of the race course. Alcohol was everywhere and no rules about what or how much you could bring. The weather was always hot and nearly all the women wore swim suits and/or short shorts.

Over the years I saw so many women wet themselves and simply not care about it, that I lost track. Those were the best of times.

 

Dang...I should have gone to seafair more often if that were the case.

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48 minutes ago, zen said:

It went really well! She didn’t know the specifics but she assumed I was into some type of watersports type stuff and said it wasn’t a surprise at all. She said she was glad I wasn’t “into really weird stuff,” and thought omo wasn’t that unnatural. I don’t know where our sexual life will go from here, but I at the very least feel like I’ve gotten something huge off my chest. 
 

Thanks everyone!

Awwww yay!! So glad for you 

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On 11/16/2019 at 4:08 AM, zen said:

I think I wanna tell my fiancé about my fetish. I know, it’s kinda late in the relationship...

 

I never did this personally, but I don't think that hurt our relationship. I have a sneaky suspicion that OMO is something that has to be reserved for rare occasions, because once it becomes commonplace it loses its lure.

I'd say, if you want to do it, say something briefly, and just back off if she doesn't sound interested in a positive way. If you just say something once, and don't back it up, people often seem not to take it in fully.

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I told my girlfriend in the first year of dating.

Inked20150225_1600364.jpg

Edited by mr.pee

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On 11/16/2019 at 6:12 PM, lhansen said:

Seattle, huh. I've seen more wet pants in Seattle than almost any place I've ever been.

I used to go to Sea Fair every year. Would spend all day Friday and Sunday at the park that made up two sides of the race course. Alcohol was everywhere and no rules about what or how much you could bring. The weather was always hot and nearly all the women wore swim suits and/or short shorts.

Over the years I saw so many women wet themselves and simply not care about it, that I lost track. Those were the best of times.

 

I grew up in Seattle and whenever i had to walk home late from a show or a kegger i used to totally soak myself. in fact, I still do...did about two hours ago

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On 11/17/2019 at 2:17 AM, zen said:

It went really well! She didn’t know the specifics but she assumed I was into some type of watersports type stuff and said it wasn’t a surprise at all. She said she was glad I wasn’t “into really weird stuff,” and thought omo wasn’t that unnatural. I don’t know where our sexual life will go from here, but I at the very least feel like I’ve gotten something huge off my chest. 
 

Thanks everyone!

You see it wasn't that bad...stick with that one she's a gem.  Oh and wettings etc are not weird, ours is a very kind and gentle fetish....

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