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Feeling uncomfortable posting around non-LGBTQ+ folks here

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48 minutes ago, Lapis Lazuli said:

I'm sorry, i won't get too political on main here, but like... there is nothing i could do to straight men to harm all of them at a societal level than is being done to me and other LGBTQA+ people right now. Of course, since, yeah, straight men DO outweigh everyone else here, the common discourse isn't going to massively include the LGBTQA+ experience, but to put it in simple terms... people think homophobia and transphobia are "over", but they're really not at all, not even close. This results in factoids like that trans women of color have a life expectancy comparable to the average population of Medieval Europe.

So I guess it's just... it's not an issue of just straight men who happen to be assholes, it's an issue that is instilled deep into pretty much everyone's brains, and frankly it can be seriously difficult to scrub out the toxicity behind heteronormativity and cisnormativity, even for fellow LGBTQ+ people. I'm sorry this is so poorly worded, but basically, because of all this, it's not that i don't like straight men getting off to me because i'm not INTO straight men, it's that i don't like straight CIS men getting off to me because it makes me feel unsafe, regardless of their level of allyship.

because every group identity has constant fights with other group identities. homophobia and transphobia and whatever will stop only, and ONLY when LGBT community will stop constantly reminding the whole society with all the parades and everything about how different are because have different sexual orientations.

NOBODY cares about your sexual orientation. nobody cares what you do in bed that 1% of your life or with whom, and nobody needs to know. because sexuality is an intimacy between two people and is nobody's business. the only people who are loud about that are the people who have no other purpose in their lives and think that being non-heterosexual is some sort of an achievement. it is not. 

about homophobia - there is actually much less homophobia than people think, and i'll explain why.
LGBT people often emphasize the fact they're gay/lesbian and often completely ignore the fact that they are still individual people who have good and bad traits, different personalities, and if someone doesn't like a specific LGBT person, they immediately assume it's because they're LGBT. there are a LOT of reasons to not like a person, not just orientation - which is the most irrelevant characteristic of a person unless you plan to have sex with him/her. 

there's one other thing - LGBT people who constantly talk about how they are different and special because they're LGBT, are annyoing. just like ANY person who would talk out loud about their sexuality and yap about they are a "community", would be annoying to people, no matter what their community is. just like a christian who constantly yap about god and bible stories can be equally annoying, and hating that person that does not mean hating the whole religion. 
pride is always and always will be a negative trait that people don't like. nobody likes a person who brags about something. and pride parades are no different. imagine there would be a "blue eye" parade with people full of themselves because they have blue eyes, it would be just as annoying and people wouldn't like it. and it wouldn't be a hate for blue eyed people, but the fact they're annoying and making a big deal out of something completely irrelevant. 

you know why straight people aren't "harmed" as much? because we don't connect into groups and call it "straight men/women community". we identify ourselves as individuals and we know that the negative reactions we get from people have nothing to do to our sexual orientation - because it's irrelevant. if we were group, however, and interpret every reaction the whole community would get as hate of our community, we would feel a lot more harmed. 

there are women who are assholes. there are gays/lesbians/trans people who are assholes. people of any kind are assholes in general, and their orientation/gender identity is completely irrelevant. straight men are no different.
and we DON'T CARE what you're into, get over yourself. stop labeling yourself with big "i'm a lesbian" sign, stop with group identity crap, stop thinking every negative reaction you ever get refers to you being a lesbian, forget the dumb sterotypes (which, ironic, actually make YOU a hater), and you'll be a lot happier and relaxed person, and you will fell a lot safer once you realize you have no reason to be afraid of. show the people your qualities that actually DO matter, and view the same on other people. 

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@slovenc79 I don't necessarily agree with how it's worded, but I think I do agree with the underlying point you're making. I sometimes worry that by saying I 'don't do labels' I'm trying too hard to oversimplify things, similarly with my belief that everybody should be equal.

But in scenario's like this, that's exactly what I think and why I think it.

I don't chose who I like or dislike based on characteristics such as their sexuality, gender identity, skin colour, religious beliefs, nationality or anything vaguely along those lines - none of that matters to me, and in truth I don't even notice it half of the time.

I may like somebody and choose to associate with them because of their actions or because we share common interests. I may dislike somebody and choose not to associate with them because of their actions, or because we are poles apart in terms of our interests. Sometimes issues of morality may come into play, around the actions of a person, and that can play a part too. But who they love, who they choose to have (or not have) intimate relations with, their colour or creed, nope none of that ever comes into play. I like people who happen to fit the LGBTQ+ profile, I also dislike people who do. I like people who identify as heterosexual, I also dislike people who do. I like people who are white, black and just about every shade in between, and I dislike people who are the same colours as the ones I like. I like people who believe on one God, multiple Gods, no Gods or who have entirely different beliefs, and I also dislike people with a variety of different religious beliefs and lack thereof.

Some of my closest friends are LGBTQ+, Black, Muslim, Jewish, Australian, Scouse, Straight, Red Heads etc. But they're my closest friends who happen to have these characteristics, not because they do. 

Some of the people I like the least in this world have the same characteristics. They're people who I do not get along with and choose not to associate with, who happen to have these characteristics. I don't dislike them because of they do. 

These characteristics are of course part of who everybody is, but they shouldn't ever set somebody apart. They don't define who you are, they're just part of you

I'm white, male, British, and if I have to apply a label then I'd consider myself to be asexual. But the only time that last label should matter would be in a bedroom. And I can't actually think of a time when they other characteristics should make the blindest bit of difference to anybody else?

If I share some content on here and somebody can find some sexual gratification in it, then good luck to them - I wish I could! 😉 😂

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Okay, fine, I'll give a final word because I'm sick of this shit and then just move on and hope this gets silenced or something.

Slovenc, are you trying to tell me that, actually, i don't experience transphobia? youre trying to tell me that the fact that the Supreme Court is having a discussion RIGHT NOW on whether or not its ok for people to fire me JUST because i'm trans ISN'T actually transphobia? are you trying to tell me that trans people have a higher suicide rate in high school because of the constant harassment we recieve from cishet society is ACTUALLY just because all trans people just HAPPEN to also be dicks? Are you saying the fact that there is a person following me RIGHT NOW because he fetishizes "tr*ps" ISN'T transphobia, it's actually """"respectful admiration of my body""""? are you really gonna go down that route? piddly, are YOU going down that same route? 

Cishet patriarchical society is, as of this very moment, campaigning to make people like ME vanish off the face of the earth at all costs. People like ME are murdered every day because hating trans people is seen as a legitimate reason for murder under the name of the law. People like you are the ones who murder us, rape us, fetishize us, and dehumanize us on a daily basis and yet you have the sheer BALLS to come into the LGBTQ+ club and tell someone who admitted that they are SCARED of this world that she's not allowed to be angry or uncomfortable when these SAME people jack off to tr*p hentai

I'm done here. Feel free to say what you want, but at this point, I can't handle this anymore.

By the way, thank you Kitty Nikki, for standing up for me. and also, Piddle, i know this isn't likely to happen since you stated you don't really prefer labels on yourself, but don't take this as an invalidation of your asexuality.

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I think I'm maybe just a little too simplistically idealogical. 

I didn't mean anything negative towards you @Lapis Lazuli, nor anybody else who identifies as LGBTQ+, and I do know that sadly there is homophobia in the world just as there are other prejudices and examples of discrimination.

I just wish there weren't. As I said I know I oversimplify it, but I long for a world where none of this matters to anybody, just as it doesn't to me. Prejudice will, sadly, exist for as long as we as a people perceive the differences in our individual characteristics as being negatives. 

Where I do agree with @slovenc79 is that far too often unwanted attention is drawn to these differences and characteristics, to put it crudely sometimes it can be like people painting a target on their backs. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be proud of who you are, and you certainly shouldn't have to hide it away, but whilst prejudices exist and remain sadly they will home in on such examples of difference. 

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1 hour ago, Lapis Lazuli said:

Okay, fine, I'll give a final word because I'm sick of this shit and then just move on and hope this gets silenced or something.

Slovenc, are you trying to tell me that, actually, i don't experience transphobia? youre trying to tell me that the fact that the Supreme Court is having a discussion RIGHT NOW on whether or not its ok for people to fire me JUST because i'm trans ISN'T actually transphobia? are you trying to tell me that trans people have a higher suicide rate in high school because of the constant harassment we recieve from cishet society is ACTUALLY just because all trans people just HAPPEN to also be dicks? Are you saying the fact that there is a person following me RIGHT NOW because he fetishizes "tr*ps" ISN'T transphobia, it's actually """"respectful admiration of my body""""? are you really gonna go down that route? piddly, are YOU going down that same route? 

Cishet patriarchical society is, as of this very moment, campaigning to make people like ME vanish off the face of the earth at all costs. People like ME are murdered every day because hating trans people is seen as a legitimate reason for murder under the name of the law. People like you are the ones who murder us, rape us, fetishize us, and dehumanize us on a daily basis and yet you have the sheer BALLS to come into the LGBTQ+ club and tell someone who admitted that they are SCARED of this world that she's not allowed to be angry or uncomfortable when these SAME people jack off to tr*p hentai

I'm done here. Feel free to say what you want, but at this point, I can't handle this anymore.

By the way, thank you Kitty Nikki, for standing up for me. and also, Piddle, i know this isn't likely to happen since you stated you don't really prefer labels on yourself, but don't take this as an invalidation of your asexuality.

why are you saying you just want to "quit" and conclude that everything that doesn't agree with you is tranphobia? see, that's exactly why i don't agree with LGBT community - they rather call everyone haters instead of actually trying to understand and solve problems once it for all. lack of good quality communication is by FAR the most common cause of every argument, every violent act and every war that ever happens.

whether you're going to get fired or not, i have no idea. but instead on raging the whole world is transphobic, you should consider the possibility that you might not be doing your job so well, resulting in not making enough profit for your company. making profit is what every company cares about, they care about how you work, and NOT about your identity and sexual orientation. people of all sex/gender/orientation get fired all the time. 
yes, some people have issues with you being trans and always will have, but 99% of people do not. and some people do not like me for various reasons, and other people do. that's how the world is - nobody is liked by everyone. it's important to stop worrying about those people and victimize yourself, and focus on people who like you instead, because they are the ones who are worth your time and energy. if i (or anyone else) would be preocupied by people who don't like them, we would all be depressed - and many people in fact are (yes, even straight men, believe it or not). 

why the heck would society want to get rid of you? what the hell is it the harm to everyone that you happen to be trans? there is no harm. 

again with this "us" thing. there is no "us". there is only YOU, forget about the whole LGBT community. you worry about yourself, your well being, your choice of who you want to be around, be friends with. that is your own freedom and responsibility - don't count on some community to make a perfect life for you. if someone doesn't like you being trans, to heck with them, there's a lot more people around to be friends with. the world is filled with good people, and you will find them. 
people get murdered every day, no matter what sex/gender/orientation they are. that's the sad fact of life. i could tell you a whole bunch of reasons why straight men are the most vulnerable people on earth and bore you with various statistics.

i do believe sad fact is also that transgender people have been through a strong emotional pressure from the start, which too often results in depression and the worst possible outcome of it. and i strongly support that trans people should get all the help they need to accept themselves and life a full life.

what is wrong with fetishizing people? am i supposed to be offended if someone fetishizes a crazy slovenian guy with pee fetish (and i doubt anyone does, but it's possible)? what will it harm me if someone fetishizes me? i don't mind - in fact, great, glad to make someone's orgasm with being there. i don't feel any bit less of a valuable person if someone fetishizes me, and neither should you, nor anyone else. 

i wish you from the bottom of my heart for you to be well, feel good, loved and have a good life, as i do for anyone else, regardless of sex/gender/orientation, because that's what all people deserve if their intentions are good. we also want you to feel welcome on this site, feel safe on it, and enjoy it to the greatest extent.
also, i am always open for intelligent discussions, i like to get to know people and help them, i'm a good listener, and i welcome you to message me any time you want. but in order to have a good conversation, you will have to be nice, instead of going on with rant against hetero people, just as much as i am nice to trans people and not judge them based on what they are. your choice. 

Edited by slovenc79 (see edit history)

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43 minutes ago, slovenc79 said:

why are you saying you just want to "quit" and conclude that everything that doesn't agree with you is tranphobia? see, that's exactly why i don't agree with LGBT community - they rather call everyone haters instead of actually trying to understand and solve problems once it for all.

whether you're going to get fired or not, i have no idea. but instead on raging the whole world is transphobic, you should consider the possibility that you might not be doing your job so well, resulting in not making enough profit for your company. making profit is what every company cares about, they care about how you work, and NOT about your identity and sexual orientation. people of all sex/gender/orientation get fired all the time. 
yes, some people have issues with you being trans and always will have, but 99% of people do not. and some people do not like me for various reasons, and other people do. that's how the world is - nobody is liked by everyone. it's important to stop worrying about those people and victimize yourself, and focus on people who like you instead, because they are the ones who are worth your time and energy. if i (or anyone else) would be preocupied by people who don't like them, we would all be depressed - and many people in fact are (yes, even straight men, believe it or not). 

why the heck would society want to get rid of you? what the hell is it the harm to everyone that you happen to be trans? there is no harm. 

again with this "us" thing. there is no "us". there is only YOU, forget about the whole LGBT community. you worry about yourself, your well being, your choice of who you want to be around, be friends with. that is your own freedom and responsibility - don't count on some community to make a perfect life for you. if someone doesn't like you being trans, to heck with them, there's a lot more people around to be friends with. the world is filled with good people, and you will find them. 
people get murdered every day, no matter what sex/gender/orientation they are. that's the sad fact of life. i could tell you a whole bunch of reasons why straight men are the most vulnerable people on earth and bore you with various statistics.

i do believe sad fact is also that transgender people have been through a strong emotional pressure from the start, which too often results in depression and the worst possible outcome of it. and i strongly support that trans people should get all the help they need to accept themselves and life a full life.

what is wrong with fetishizing people? am i supposed to be offended if someone fetishizes a crazy slovenian guy with pee fetish (and i doubt anyone does, but it's possible)? what will it harm me if someone fetishizes me? i don't mind - in fact, great, glad to make someone's orgasm with being there. i don't feel any bit less of a valuable person if someone fetishizes me, and neither should you, nor anyone else. 

i wish you from the bottom of my heart for you to be well, feel good, loved and have a good life, as i do for anyone else, regardless of sex/gender/orientation, because that's what all people deserve if their intentions are good.
also, i am always open for intelligent discussions, i like to get to know people and help them, i'm a good listener, and i welcome you to message me any time you want. but in order to have a good conversation, you will have to be nice, instead of going on with rant against hetero people, just as much as i am nice to trans people and not judge them based on what they are. your choice. 

This, understand that no ones saying that trans people never get discriminated against, including you, you wrote a post saying cis people make you uncomfortable and feel unsafe because they fetishize you, i agree with @Barry that if we were to write that you made us straight people uncomfortable we would probably be warned or possibly banned from this site for discriminating someone depending on how the conversation would go and its a double standard, you cant expect that if you make a post like this that people wont get pissed, because lgbt doesnt want labels, black people dont want labels, and us straight people dont want labels, we are all very accepting people on here, its hard to see the good in those who judge before getting to know someone, im not as blunt as @slovenc79 but i will agree that its not that you havent met bad people or been judged, its that if you focus your whole life thinking a group of people are all the same based on the bad people you met, you are going to be miserable, because i agree your sexuality isn’t relevant and it cant be that So and so  groups of people cant be labeled the same but yet its ok to label all straight men or women the same because of the issues with discrimination and thats not ok, because we all arent like that, just like not all lgbt people are hateful towards straight people, either every group is labeled the same or  we stand together and recognize the difference between someone with heart that gives love and respect and acceptance (even if they dont agree with your life decisions or sexual decisions but dont go out of your way to harm you) to someones whos a hateful asshole

 Your heart and love towards others and your character to me are what matter to me personally about you and everyone here, idc who you kiss or like or sleep with, your race , your age idc, as long as you arent an asshole or pushing beliefs forcefully onto others you are loved and accepted in my book, and i cant speak for the whole site but im 100% sure others would see the same way when it comes to treating others with love and respect here

There isnt a thing you need to worry about on this site, as this is a very accepting community, and i hope you just understand that not all responses were gonna be totally nice and sweet because the general wording and argument being made by saying straight people fetishizing you makes you feel unsafe and we are the murderers and rapists is going to make people angry that a label is being put on them that is absolutely not true, even if its not directed at a specific person

Edited by Brittanybunny (see edit history)

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I think what irked me the most, was that you chose to post this on a site that happily caters for all genders. 
If you don’t want straight people “getting off” to you, which would be highly unlikely anyway, why not post your content on other sites that cater specifically towards people of whatever gender you identify with? 
It seems a bit ridiculous to join a site that is so happily inclusive of all genders, then complain that you feel uncomfortable about some of those genders seeing that content! 
Why not post on a site that caters more towards your specific gender? That way you wouldn’t have to be uncomfortable. 
I truly understand how marginalised the LGBQT+ community can be made to feel, but I won’t pretend to personally ever feel so affected myself....

But, over my time here, I have been accused of writing child pornography, had it hinted at that I’m a pedophile, been called sexist, been told I’m anti-gay or anti-trans, among other things. 
 

Mostly this has been from members of your multi gender community. 
 

Now, I’m supposed to feel bad simply because you feel uncomfortable with me perhaps viewing your posted content? 
 

Sorry, but that annoys me. 
 

Get over yourself. 

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