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Feeling uncomfortable posting around non-LGBTQ+ folks here

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Hey, so I just wanted to ask this out of curiosity... am I the only one who feels uncomfortable posting here, when I know there are people who aren't LGBTQ+ watching? Like, I dunno, it's honestly straight men in particular, I'm not so bad with straight women.

I dunno, I'm just asking because I wanted to do a public hold but I... feel hesitant posting because of that. Does anyone else get that experience?

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Listen. I'll be dead real with you. No one is gonna get harassed or abused here on this site. Moderation does not take kindly to discrimination here. So I'd say you're pretty darn safe and secure here! Happy posting! ♡

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7 hours ago, WetDave said:

If I, as a straight man, felt uncomfortable posting here because of gay men watching, what would you say?

Of course we all feel the way we do and are more or less comfortable with people of different orientations. Fine, but we also try not to treat people differently simply on the basis of some characteristic that we may be less comfortable with  

I would suggest that if you don’t feel comfortable with anyone and everyone watching then don’t do it. 

Agreed here with WetDave.  While I am not ‘part’ of the LGBT+ community, I am an ally for anyone in it.  This site is extremely accepting, but also well moderated for those assholes that do slip through.  Hopefully this helps to encourage your exploration a little.

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I'm straight,  mostly,  but I love gays and trans. They're beautiful, and deserve good friends. 

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39 minutes ago, Imouto Kitten said:

(I'm pretty sure at least one person has called me a monster on here for liking pineapple on my pizza).

You monster! Pineapple belongs in a Pina Colada, and nowhere else! 🍹😂

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18 minutes ago, slovenc79 said:

drop the group identity crap, be what you are and embrace yourself as an individual, and see other people as individuals and judge them based on their individual qualities rather than group identity. 

This! ❤️

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36 minutes ago, slovenc79 said:

well it's simple. LGBT community taught you how to discriminate people based on dumb stereotype that non-LGBT people are all haters of some sort. which is pretty much what ALL identity groups do - turn against each other. we vs. them. that's how hate develops, that's how fights begin and that's how war starts. 

drop the group identity crap, be what you are and embrace yourself as an individual, and see other people as individuals and judge them based on their individual qualities rather than group identity. 

i'm a straight man and i don't mind at all if a gay man watches a video of me wetting myself. 

This. One more time for those that missed it and those still in the 1800s.  I’ve got love for all humans.

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On 9/29/2019 at 8:44 PM, Lapis Lazuli said:

Hey, so I just wanted to ask this out of curiosity... am I the only one who feels uncomfortable posting here, when I know there are people who aren't LGBTQ+ watching? Like, I dunno, it's honestly straight men in particular, I'm not so bad with straight women.

I dunno, I'm just asking because I wanted to do a public hold but I... feel hesitant posting because of that. Does anyone else get that experience?

I am LGBT as well- I don’t tbh but you must do what is comfortable for you! I might feel differently if I was female however 

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I think a number of posters here are part of the LGBT spectrum, and I haven't detected much criticism or demeaning comments.  Of course there are narrow-minded jerks everywhere, but I think this site is as safe as any.  

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I don't think all LGBT individuals think all straight people are homophobes, but I do think many identity groups have a bad habit of, intentionally or not, coming across as thinking the whole of their outgroup personally responsible for all their problems. Or at the very least, the more level-headed members of such groups have a poor track record of keeping their more hot headed peers in line or preventing the radicals from hijacking the banner and becoming the mouthpiece, and sadly, this tends to hurt the cause more than it helps.

Also, love is a strong word, arguably even stronger than hate. There are very few humans I love, but there are also very few humans I hate. To be completely honest, I'm apathetic towards most people through sheer virtue of not knowing them well enough to make a judgment in any direction.

That said, I will speak out against anything I percieve as injustice, whether targetted at traditionally privileged or traditionally unprivileged groups and regardless of whether the target is deemed acceptable by current standards, but in general, I'd say I seldom feel anything stronger than annoyance, irritation, or dislike towards those who disagree with me, and there are people I'd say I like despite disagreeing on things I consider rather important. I try to reserve my hatred for the truly reprehensible, the scum of the earth, the monsters in human flesh, the ones who live to inflict suffering upon others and do nothing to benefit anyone other than themselves not even when it would be to their benefit to help another.

That said, My allegiance is to humanity rather than any nation, race, or other identity, and I even altered the US Pledge of Allegiance to reflect this:

I pledge allegiance, to the whole of humanity and to the world in which we live, one people, under the heavens, indivisible, with liberty and equality for all.

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On 9/29/2019 at 12:44 PM, Lapis Lazuli said:

Hey, so I just wanted to ask this out of curiosity... am I the only one who feels uncomfortable posting here, when I know there are people who aren't LGBTQ+ watching? Like, I dunno, it's honestly straight men in particular, I'm not so bad with straight women.

I dunno, I'm just asking because I wanted to do a public hold but I... feel hesitant posting because of that. Does anyone else get that experience?

Speaking as a formerly straight male who just recently had his one-year anniversary with his boyfriend, do you mean males that are not non-heterosexual, or do you mean males that do not support, agree with, or ally to the LGBT identity? There's an important distinction.

If you mean the former, generally, fear not - even when I didn't think I could love another man I openly supported and and was quite comfortable with LGBT individuals. The only ones I had trouble with understanding or accepting initally were trans individuals, but that was over 10 years ago now and only because I had grown up sheltered and had genuinely been ignorant of their existence to begin with, all it took was meeting a few online that were good people to come to understand them.

If you mean the latter, I can understand your discomfort, but do take comfort in the fact that both their opinions cannot hurt you and that any kind of harassment is not tolerated here. If one is targeting you, a friend, or anyone else on LGBT grounds, contact the staff by reporting their post.

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On 10/11/2019 at 4:12 AM, Keita123 said:

It's okay. I can get uncomfortable around gay men as well.

So you'd be uncomfortable around me because I like super cute bois?

I'm sorry but you are coming off as homophobic, bud! As sonic would say, that's no good!

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I'm lgbtq+ and i kind of understand this somewhat? For me it's just not being able to relate to being a straight male. I'm not really uncomfortable, just unable to relate to being male and straight. However, I'm sure there are some lgbtq+ people on this site.

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Evil straight white male checking in. I don't really care what you do, as long as you're not emailing it directly to me. That's the beauty of forums like this, the only content you see is the stuff you're looking for.

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On 9/29/2019 at 12:44 PM, Lapis Lazuli said:

Hey, so I just wanted to ask this out of curiosity... am I the only one who feels uncomfortable posting here, when I know there are people who aren't LGBTQ+ watching? Like, I dunno, it's honestly straight men in particular, I'm not so bad with straight women.

I dunno, I'm just asking because I wanted to do a public hold but I... feel hesitant posting because of that. Does anyone else get that experience?

1

I guess I should probably start this reply by stating that I am a straight guy, so I am one of the people you feel uncomfortable posting around.  Upon reading your post, my immediate kneejerk reaction was to reply with all my ally credentials to show you how accepting I am as some sort of argument as to why you shouldn't feel uncomfortable posting something that I might read.  But, then I thought about it some more...

After thinking about it, I have to say that I really can't fault you, or any other LGBTQ+ person, who might feel uncomfortable posting in a community that has straight people in it.  Even though things have started to change, we can't just ignore the long history of societal attitudes towards homosexuality or pretend like those attitudes don't still have some impact today.  In many ways, non-straight people are still discriminated against today, and a good deal of that discrimination comes at the hands of straight men.  To try and argue that you, or anyone else, should feel uncomfortable considering this seems either ignorant or unrealistic.

So, my question to you is this- What can I do, as a straight man, to help you feel more comfortable?

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Echoing TVGuy's points.  Straight male here too.... love that fact that we are all here United together in this. 

Is there anything I can/should do? Happy to discuss on PM if that's easier?

Much love to you all!

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I’m afraid I can’t be as sympathetic as some. I’m extremely supportive and empathetic towards the entire LGBQT community, counting many of my friends as well. 
But to be honest, this post annoys me a bit. 
If I was to make any sort of post or comment regarding LGBQT people making me uncomfortable, I would be quite rightly lambasted and criticised for doing so. 
But here we are, once again, where simply because I’m a straight, white, cis male, I happen to make people feel uncomfortable, and it’s okay to “call me out” on it. 
Im sorry you feel this way, but it reeks of double standards. Yes, the gay community does get badly discriminated against, and that’s terrible, but to announce on a site that caters for everyone, even straight people, that others make you uncomfortable is frankly rude. 
It’s right up there with me saying something like “Black people make me uncomfortable.”
I hope you find peace. 

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17 hours ago, Barry said:

I’m afraid I can’t be as sympathetic as some. I’m extremely supportive and empathetic towards the entire LGBQT community, counting many of my friends as well. 
But to be honest, this post annoys me a bit. 
If I was to make any sort of post or comment regarding LGBQT people making me uncomfortable, I would be quite rightly lambasted and criticised for doing so. 
But here we are, once again, where simply because I’m a straight, white, cis male, I happen to make people feel uncomfortable, and it’s okay to “call me out” on it. 
Im sorry you feel this way, but it reeks of double standards. Yes, the gay community does get badly discriminated against, and that’s terrible, but to announce on a site that caters for everyone, even straight people, that others make you uncomfortable is frankly rude. 
It’s right up there with me saying something like “Black people make me uncomfortable.”
I hope you find peace. 

that's the same reason why i responded to this topic. but i think the OP shouldn't be blamed. blame the group identity propaganda that is built on discriminating people against each other, especially straight men, who are often stereotyped to be sexual predators. i certainly understand that a lot of straight men can be annoying to women in general, but it's not good to make stereotypes, especially not by the group who claims to be against making stereotypes in the first place. 

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I didn’t read it that the OP has an issue with Straight White Men??

Have just been back to check the original post to be sure- what I think she is saying is that she might not be comfortable with the idea of Straight men getting off on her content? Presumably because this isn’t the group that she is sexually into? Which is the same for anyone regardless of sexuality, in terms of posting on a general forum, however my feeling is that Straight men massively out way any other group here- that could be the issue

definitely don’t think anyone should feel attacked or marginalised, but that is only my opinion!! 

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Eugh... I guess I should have clarified all this more before I posted anything.

I don't have any inherent issue with straight men, and don't mean to marginalize anyone. But the thing is, even if i DID want to marginalize straight men, i wouldnt be able to no matter how hard i tried.

I'm sorry, i won't get too political on main here, but like... there is nothing i could do to straight men to harm all of them at a societal level than is being done to me and other LGBTQA+ people right now. Of course, since, yeah, straight men DO outweigh everyone else here, the common discourse isn't going to massively include the LGBTQA+ experience, but to put it in simple terms... people think homophobia and transphobia are "over", but they're really not at all, not even close. This results in factoids like that trans women of color have a life expectancy comparable to the average population of Medieval Europe.

So I guess it's just... it's not an issue of just straight men who happen to be assholes, it's an issue that is instilled deep into pretty much everyone's brains, and frankly it can be seriously difficult to scrub out the toxicity behind heteronormativity and cisnormativity, even for fellow LGBTQ+ people. I'm sorry this is so poorly worded, but basically, because of all this, it's not that i don't like straight men getting off to me because i'm not INTO straight men, it's that i don't like straight CIS men getting off to me because it makes me feel unsafe, regardless of their level of allyship.

So, yeah. Also, sorry about not responding for so long, it's just that i kind of went through a non-horny phase for a while and stopped checking here because of how aggressively horny it is here.

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