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Fetishes and Addiction

Question

So, one thing I've always struggled with is reconciling my fetishes with the rest of my life, particularly my religious beliefs (Christianity has always taken a dim view of excessive sex). My fetish, for the most part, has been limited to buying, wetting, and masturbating in diapers while reading erotic fiction or anime artwork. I've never had sex with another person, and have no desire to. However, I've always been concerned with how excessive my behavior is, particularly recently. It used to be that my fetish was a once-a-week thing at max, as a form of weekend pleasure or a coping mechanism when I felt overworked at school. Over the past year, I've improved my control over my life and needed my fetish less and less. Part of that was joining a Christian support group for young adults with sexual addiction issues. However, my progress was never substantial, and I eventually lapsed away. Recently, I've been having to combine time-sinks of University (I'm in my last term) with a summer job I had (I completed my last shift yesterday). During that 3-week time period, I also got sick, and as a result my fetish seems to have kicked into overdrive, occurring several times a week.

So my question is, when it comes to a fetish, how much is too much? And is breaking one's fetish a desirable goal? I'm worried that it's impacting my focus on my studies, and that it would impact my chances of finding an ideal mate in the future. Finding a lifelong mate while having a fetish is difficult enough; being addicted to hentai and masturbating is another level entirely. As for why the support group I was in didn't work, I felt I just didn't care. Maybe, because it was a 'vanilla' community, I couldn't be honest about the details of my interests; maybe a support group designed with fetishists in mind, or a one-on-one with a sex psychologist, would work better.

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Well, I figured out, and have largely resolved, the problem. The excess fetish play was a symptom, not the source. The source was that the combination of a part-time job (which I have now resigned from, it was always intended to be temporary), not studying enough (I always have trouble getting back in to studying in September), and getting sick at an inconvenient time. With all those resolved, my fetish play has returned to normal, sane levels, and I'm far more cheerful and getting far more work done. Thanks for your help everyone.

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well, if there are healthy limits, it means too much definitely exists 🙂 

Dark Knight, the problem is that you created a world of your own and living in it. it's comfortable, but it's not real, and you know that. right now you only have one perspective, of which this fetish is (too) big of a part of. being happy in this world of your is actually the biggest problem, because a person who feels happy, satisfied, doesn't feel the need for major changes in life. but even through that happiness, you know it's not right and something must change, and your feelings are absolutely correct. 

what you need to do is get different perspectives of life, which means you have to make changes, mostly in terms of meeting new people and trying out new things. you already did that, you got a job, you got some new company.. and if you continue that way, you will learn that there are MANY more things in life that will make fetish seem a little less interesting. and you will also learn ideals don't exist. especially not an ideal partner. 

one question - do you work out? if you don't, start. it's by far the best way to get yourself in order both mentally and physically, and it's a change that has the most important positive effects. you get a boost in your self confidence, you boost up your hormones, adrenaline, you get healthier, you feel better, sleep better.. basically, you set your body literally in motion, and that's exactly what you need right now. 

 

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If the fetish is legal, I don't think you can put a number on "too much" fetish. If it's ruining or running your life, it's definitely too much. If it makes your life better and makes you truly happy, the dose is still inside of healthy limits, I think. 

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