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My obsession


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This is something I've already posted to the 'Guidance and counselling' forum, but nobody's responded so far, so I'm thinking maybe it's not necessarily fit for it, which is why I'm reposting it here.

Regular viewers of mine have likely caught on that I'm obsessed with omorashi of the SMG4 character Axol. Hell, I've got a self-made wetting image of him in Garry's Mod as my profile picture! In fact, for the past few weeks, he's pretty much been the only thing on my mind with regards to this community.

So I really need to know: is it making you guys uncomfortable at all? Is it unhealthy for me? And please, don't feel as though you have to sugarcoat the details. I'm open to absolute honesty.

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40 minutes ago, Rukako said:

It has been noticed

However I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing, we all have our favourites and all that’s for certain things of you catch my drift,

So far, I've been pretty much the only one to post anything related to him on the site. The only other user to post anything directly related to him was Mandymom, and even then, that was on a request board for headcanons. Any other posts that happened to mentioned him were just replies to topics I started on him.

I feel like maybe I'm trying to overcompensate. Also, I'm not trying to FORCE it onto anyone, but it's possible I may be doing that without even knowing. THAT's where my main concerns lie.

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18 minutes ago, Jarvis Langley said:

I think it's normal to have a few favourite fictional characters and probably one big favourite.  It might just seem more weird to you since it's an uncommon choice, so you don't see other people with the same interest in the character.  And there's nothing wrong with picking an uncommon choice!

Well, it depends on WHY the character is an uncommon choice. If it's because they're still relatively new (as is the case here), then I can accept that there just isn't an established audience for them yet. And I understand that with so many fictional characters out there, only a handful are going to have a broad appeal.

Now, there ARE a number of considerably more popular characters within this community that I'm absolutely on board with seeing or doing omorashi of. Granted, the only medium I have any real confidence with is the physics sandbox game "Garry's Mod", but I'm very flexible with the characters I'll work with. However, I don't always have a lot of ideas, so there are occasions when I find myself RELYING on suggestions people give to gauge my creativity. Of course, without a wide range of natural inclinations, I question just where I stand in an environment like this.

Sorry if this is starting to sound like a psychological analysis, but this is a conundrum that really gets me thinking.

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I'm autistic and I've hyperfixated on specific people or characters all my life. I understand the feeling of only being able to think or talk about your current obsession and suffering when you don't have any outlet for it. The feeling of having a hyperfixation can be compared to having one's brain in a deep fryer full of boiling oil.

I've been obsessed with episodic villains from cartoons, and a musician who had only posted 6 songs online so far. Sometimes you get obsessed with things that, realistically, there's just not any "fandom" to talk with. I'm going to guess you're feeling distress from not getting any mutually interested responses when you talk about Axol, and that's what feels unhealthy. I've never had much luck choking out hyperfixations and stopping them before they run their course, but the best piece of advice I have about minimizing the distress you get from other people's reactions (or lack of reactions, radio silence hurts too) is to do anything that will stop you from checking so often. I have briefly broken up the cycle by getting on a bus, going to a park and walking in circles. Or, if it's the middle of the night, taking a shower, cleaning or organizing something. When I get back, I am still obsessed with the same thing, but at least I spent some time not making any new posts about it, not checking the views or replies to my existing posts about it, and not searching for information I know I won't find about it.

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15 minutes ago, cilla said:

I'm autistic and I've hyperfixated on specific people or characters all my life. I understand the feeling of only being able to think or talk about your current obsession and suffering when you don't have any outlet for it. The feeling of having a hyperfixation can be compared to having one's brain in a deep fryer full of boiling oil.

I've been obsessed with episodic villains from cartoons, and a musician who had only posted 6 songs online so far. Sometimes you get obsessed with things that, realistically, there's just not any "fandom" to talk with. I'm going to guess you're feeling distress from not getting any mutually interested responses when you talk about Axol, and that's what feels unhealthy. I've never had much luck choking out hyperfixations and stopping them before they run their course, but the best piece of advice I have about minimizing the distress you get from other people's reactions (or lack of reactions, radio silence hurts too) is to do anything that will stop you from checking so often. I have briefly broken up the cycle by getting on a bus, going to a park and walking in circles. Or, if it's the middle of the night, taking a shower, cleaning or organizing something. When I get back, I am still obsessed with the same thing, but at least I spent some time not making any new posts about it, not checking the views or replies to my existing posts about it, and not searching for information I know I won't find about it.

… Wow. I think you NAILED it.

I haven't disclosed it on this site, but I actually am on the autism spectrum myself. Even though I lean more to the side of Asperger's, I do have tendencies that are common in those with straight-up autism.

I never considered the issue of hyperfixation up until this point, so this was an eye-opener for me to read. The remedies you suggested, however... that could be a problem. I live in Australia, and winter's only just wrapped up, so I'm not really willing to go outside when it's still so COLD. As for the night-time things... I'm ASLEEP by midnight, so that's pretty much off the table.

Really, I think the best thing I can do is just wait for the fixation to blow over, because it WILL eventually. I don't know specifically WHEN, but it'll happen.

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4 hours ago, Nick_Donovan said:

… Wow. I think you NAILED it.

I haven't disclosed it on this site, but I actually am on the autism spectrum myself. Even though I lean more to the side of Asperger's, I do have tendencies that are common in those with straight-up autism.

I never considered the issue of hyperfixation up until this point, so this was an eye-opener for me to read. The remedies you suggested, however... that could be a problem. I live in Australia, and winter's only just wrapped up, so I'm not really willing to go outside when it's still so COLD. As for the night-time things... I'm ASLEEP by midnight, so that's pretty much off the table.

Really, I think the best thing I can do is just wait for the fixation to blow over, because it WILL eventually. I don't know specifically WHEN, but it'll happen.

Ah, I was diagnosed in the US, where Asperger's as a diagnosis was merged with autism as autism spectrum disorder. Maybe there are places where I would be said to have Asperger's, but it's not super important. There's always a higher concentration of people on the autism spectrum on online forums, because we are more likely to want to discuss our interests in depth, and it's more accessible for us than doing social activities in person.

"Special interest" is another term used by ASD community to describe becoming obsessed with narrow subjects, if you want to look that up and read about it. I don't like to use it myself because it sounds too nice and euphemistic for what I experience. I get special infestations.

As long as you have this obsession you can still get excited when a video of your favorite character comes out, or have fun making self-indulgent edits. But I'm very familiar with that mood where I feel like I will wither and rot away if I don't get content or attention about my obsessions, when none is available and no good can come of it, and the only trick I know to break up that feeling is to make yourself do something else (all of my examples involved physically doing something different, but you don't necessarily have to get up, you could even watch an episode of a show).

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On 9/13/2019 at 2:19 PM, stephiekitty20 said:

thanks, you guys have autism too? I had it since I was born and I still have it but I don't let it bother me. if you met me in real life you wouldn't be able to tell I have autism unless I told you.

Oh, I'm not bothered by the general fact that I have autism. The base concept isn't an issue to me.

What DOES bother me is some of the traits that are ASSOCIATED with it, such as the hyper-fixation that was mentioned. When I find myself experiencing that, it puts a damper on my creative avenues, and I either become self-restricted in the works I do, or the works that I DO make that aren't related to my fixation just don't have the same effort or even passion put into them.

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Guest ømo-çhan
On 9/13/2019 at 6:19 AM, stephiekitty20 said:

thanks, you guys have autism too? I had it since I was born and I still have it but I don't let it bother me. if you met me in real life you wouldn't be able to tell I have autism unless I told you.

Same, i didn’t know that there are so many people who have autism or asperger-Syndrom (like me) and are into omorashi...

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  • 1 year later...
On 9/7/2019 at 10:05 AM, cilla said:

"Special interest" is another term used by ASD community to describe becoming obsessed with narrow subjects, if you want to look that up and read about it. I don't like to use it myself because it sounds too nice and euphemistic for what I experience. I get special infestations.

Lol! I use the term 'obsessions' just 'cause, well... to me it feels like just being honest. But with you on the term seeming just SO much like a "make the horrible thing sound nice with kiddy-sounding terms" thing. "Special interest" sounds like the kind of thing your mommy whispers to your teacher or the other mommies with the shame I wish we weren't surrounded by.

For me, it's this whole omo thing, plus clocks, maps, and a couple TV shows and games (Star Trek not actually being one; I'm more of a casual fan who used this name for the first time when I happened to be marathoning it.) I don't think these things are unhealthy. It's just how we are, we get a lot of enjoyment out of these things and no one is harmed... it isn't bad just because it doesn't fit someone's definition of "normal." Also, can you imagine if Einstein had just been a little interested in math? It takes more than a casual amount of focus to take things farther! Even things that don't seem important (if you just like sci-fi a little, you don't make Star Wars or Star Trek; if you just like video games a little, you don't make Mario or Zelda.)

I find the original post really sad. These interests are fun, wonderful, but some of us put ourselves through unnecessary shame just because it's not normal. It's not like we don't struggle enough! Let yourself enjoy one of the best parts about being autistic!

(I don't know how people feel about reviving old topics, but it's always good to know how many of us there are here and compare notes on how being into omo might be different for us than others, that sort of thing.)

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I don't even know the character but I have my characters that I like to fantasize about (even though it's more than one), preferences, etc.

I also feel I have a certain taste in "wet and messy' no one else does, including the branch of it that's a fetish for me.

We all have our interests, and it's not unusual to have a favorite character to fetishize.

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I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and have found that I and others with it also have a tendency to hyperfixate/obsess.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having obsessions or hyperfixations. I just think it's another variation of humanity, where those who don't hyperfixate have their feelings of interest and acts of engagement more widely spread across various things, whereas those of us who hyperfixate tend to have those same feelings and actions, but with a more narrow focus. 

To echo what Trekkie said, I do think a lot of people (myself included) may feel shame for having an interest in something deemed unusual; but no one is being harmed and I think if something brings someone enjoyment they should go for it. :3 

 

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I was recently thinking about how I am most likely on the autism spectrum and I recently just looked up whether omorashi was sort of a trait of autistic people or whether obsession with going to the bathroom and stuff like that was an obsessive trait and I was surprised that I actually found myself just randomly googling the topic and brought me right back to this forum! I do think that my inability to ignore a desire to go to the bathroom is partially what drives a lot of my obsession with bladder desperation in general. It's just kind of hard to ignore it and my fixation is with women needing the toilet and women's bathroom experiences in general.

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