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Got approval to buy diapers! But now..


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I've always been curious about diaper use, mostly for convenient wetting, letting out spurts just for thrills, and I love the idea of secretly squirting out piss anywhere without anyone knowing, and it seems like the easiest way to wet myself without making a huge mess to keep secret from my roommates etc. I've been discussing omo topics more and more with my bf (non-mon) and he's gotten over the 'stigma' about diapers in the watersports world and that it doesn't have to be an age play situation. 

So I've been wearing on and off, I wet one for him but he was disappointed he couldn't see it fill and ended up pulling it away most of the time and watching me piss on the floor. I have more stories along those lines too, for another post if anyone would be interested.

Now that I can wear whenever I want I'm having trouble letting out my dribbles and squirt and end up desperate and having to go onto the bathroom because I only leak a bit while masturbating and end up flooding when I want to finally enjoy slowly letting it soak up in my diaper lying comfortably in bed or doing chores. 

I used to love standing outside and releasing as slow as I could till or dripped down my thighs but now that I'm free to do what I fantasize about, I typically end up having an admittedly enjoyable accident. 

I think I'm cursed to flood, I'm wearing now in bed but can't bring myself to even drip. I'll be desperate soon, been over hydrating all day, so now I have to choose between waiting till I need my diaper and a cleanup or going to the bathroom now and try again stay relaxed enough to spray and dribble the way I love to  when I'm outside

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