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How can I be sure if I'm bisexual?

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Female here, for reference.

I initially didn't think much of the fact that I preferred female omo to male, but increasingly I see attractive females in media and get a bit "excited" to put it lightly. I'm 23, which feels a bit late to be having this revelation about myself. And I don't want to declare anything without being sure, since the one relationship I've had was with a male(and I didn't mind how intimate it got--not home base but still a ways around the field--which is how I know I'd have to be bisexual, not a lesbian).

Any other bisexuals here, how did you figure it out for sure?

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instead on focusing on exploring the vast definitions and theories, and way to label yourself like something, wondering what group you belong to, focus on what people you like. you like men? you're HUMAN. you like women? you're HUMAN. that's it. you don't need to explain to anyone about who you're attracted to, not because it's none of anybody's business, but because everybody is different and you have no idea about who you'll be attracted to until you meet them. i myself have never felt any sexual desires to any guy, but to many women (then again, not all of them). i could define myself as heterosexual, but that definiton doesn't matter. what if i ever find a guy i'll like? 

go out, look at people, meet the ones you find attractive, get to know them better, see if there's any sexual attraction, and enjoy what comes out of it. that's it 🙂 

Edited by slovenc79
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We're so quick to categorize and put labels on everything and everybody, but not many of us belong 100% in any pigeonhole.  Sexual orientation is really on a continuum, with very few people purely heterosexual or purely homosexual. So as Slovenc79 said, "go out, look at people, meet the ones you find attractive, get to know them better, see if there's any sexual attraction, and enjoy what comes out of it. that's it."

 

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On 7/30/2019 at 9:58 PM, wishfulomo0572 said:

I'm 23, which feels a bit late to be having this revelation about myself.

I don't really think that this works in this way. You can have your sexual preferences changed in life. I was older than you when I had bigger changes in my sexuality. Omo and other fetishes remained constant for all my life so far 🙂

On 7/30/2019 at 9:58 PM, wishfulomo0572 said:

Any other bisexuals here, how did you figure it out for sure? 

"Oh, I always like squares, but some circles are really neat, too, I guess." So nothing special. Have fun with some girls if you're curious.

Edited by BabyDreams
TMI, edited down

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I knew for sure at some point in middle school (I am currently thinking I am pan? I’m still unsure on that one). Around that time is also when my omo fetish came to light. The more it developed the more it became obvious that it is only about girls for me. I knew for sure I wasn’t just attracted to one gender in high school when I kissed a friend and it was good. I never think it’s too late to have an awakening, sexualities are fluid. Don’t think too hard on it, just try somethings out and go with what feels right 💕

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Hey! Bisexual here-

I think the first thing is to note that it’s never too late to realize a new aspect of yourself, whether that be sexuality/gender, romantic orientation, or something as simple as a hobby. I know people who have known they are gay/trans since they were born, and others who didn’t figure it out until they were in their mid-20s, 30s, or even later! There’s no time limit on figuring yourself out, and nobody would judge you if you consider yourself a late bloomer.

The hardest part is: the answer is different for everybody. My biggest piece of advice is explore! I’ve known I was bisexual from a pretty young age, but one of my current partners didn’t figure it out until she was 23 either, and she’s still never done anything with a woman. If the label feels right, i say declare it, even if you haven’t experimented. Remember, it’s okay to change your label later in life if your feelings change. Nobody can decide your sexuality for you, it’s something you get to claim! 

Lastly, I would say look into yourself. Don’t base your attraction to others on what you think bisexuality looks like. Ask yourself some basic questions. 

In what way am I attracted to which genders?

What is my own personal relationship to gender?

Is there any underlying shame, embarrassment, or internalized homophobia/biphobia that could be influencing my answers?

Anyway, I hope this helped in anyway at all, and if you have anything else you want to ask, or if you just want to talk feel free to message me!

I hope you have a wonderful day, and good luck on your journey!

Charlee

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I read that nobody is 100% straight or 100% gay. It's just a matter of how much you tend to get attracted to the same or opposite sex and how easy is for you to realise that. If you get turned on by men and women, you can consider yourself bisexual. 
I'm bisexual and realised that much later than you, so I can say that's not something you know right away. It's harder to spot than if you're a gay.

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3 hours ago, CarmenCD said:

I read that nobody is 100% straight or 100% gay. It's just a matter of how much you tend to get attracted to the same or opposite sex and how easy is for you to realise that. If you get turned on by men and women, you can consider yourself bisexual. 
I'm bisexual and realised that much later than you, so I can say that's not something you know right away. It's harder to spot than if you're a gay.

In terms of being with somebody in a relationship I'm 100% straight but when it comes to omorashi I get aroused by both men and women peeing themselves.  I wouldn't mind a golden shower coming from a man or me feeling up a man's crotch and bulge when he's peeing into his pants but that's as far as I'd go (I wouldn't have sex with a man)

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5 hours ago, CarmenCD said:

I read that nobody is 100% straight or 100% gay. 

the way i see it, the problem with these definitions is the assumption every gay man it attracted to all men in general (which is also why homophobia exists) and every heterosexual to anyone of opposite sex. its depends on the individual feelings towards every individual. i consider myself to be heterosexual, but in a room full of women who i don't find sexually attractive, i am pretty much asexual. also, there can be heterosexual women who are sexually attracted to one specific woman, but not any other women in general. 
in short, all the theories and definitions are mostly a big waste of time. maybe these feelings are complex for a reason - to be only understood by the one who feels them, and not to be entirely explained to everyone. i will never understand how anyone can see a male sexually attractive, but i don't need to understand that. and neither does any lesbian. everyone should let each other be, and also themselves be 🙂

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Of course it's complicated and neither gay or straight people don't find attractive everyone. But to find out that you like men and women in sexual way, it's still a bit tricky. I lived years dating only women and actually realised that I'm bisexual only after I met a very feminine looking crossdresser and felt that tingles every time I was near him and realised I was really turned on by him. Luckily the attraction way mutual and I took a leap of fate and went home with him one day. I was scared what will happen when he will take his clothes and makeup off and transformed from woman to a man. But even when he done it and in front of me was standing a man without body hair wearing only panties, heels and a bit of makeup, I realised I'm still very attracted to him. This was my first moment realising I like women and men in sexual way.

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6 hours ago, CarmenCD said:

Of course it's complicated and neither gay or straight people don't find attractive everyone. But to find out that you like men and women in sexual way, it's still a bit tricky. I lived years dating only women and actually realised that I'm bisexual only after I met a very feminine looking crossdresser and felt that tingles every time I was near him and realised I was really turned on by him. Luckily the attraction way mutual and I took a leap of fate and went home with him one day. I was scared what will happen when he will take his clothes and makeup off and transformed from woman to a man. But even when he done it and in front of me was standing a man without body hair wearing only panties, heels and a bit of makeup, I realised I'm still very attracted to him. This was my first moment realising I like women and men in sexual way.

Did you cross dress before this or was it after you realized you liked this man? Have you ever wet with him?

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On 8/3/2019 at 12:03 PM, slovenc79 said:

instead on focusing on exploring the vast definitions and theories, and way to label yourself like something, wondering what group you belong to, focus on what people you like. you like men? you're HUMAN. you like women? you're HUMAN. that's it. you don't need to explain to anyone about who you're attracted to, not because it's none of anybody's business, but because everybody is different and you have no idea about who you'll be attracted to until you meet them.

i agree with this 100% ! I feel like people are always too busy looking for a 'group' they belong in, and honestly that will also put much more pressure on you to try and 'figure it out' when you might not fit the 'bisexual box' entirely either. At this moment you said you know you like men, so that's one thing... And you say sometimes you feel excited about some women, it could be that you're bi, but it doesn't necessarily mean that... So just give yourself time to explore and try if you want to, and if you don't, just keep on going same as you have until now and don't overthink it! I guess as you grow and evolve you just become aware of certain things, and it might get you curious about some things, in your case girls? You might be curious because you never tried it, or maybe, since you never considered it like that, you never realized it? It might be various things but labels are not that important as you figuring out what you like and what you don't... you don't own anyone else an explanation so just go with what you like 🙂

Telling you this as a bi guy who figured it out when i first was into a friend of the same gender... at first i was just curious/interested and not enough to actually want to try something with them so i thought it was just really curiousity and brushed it off... a couple of years later i figured out i was actually really into both genders sexually and definitely wouldn't mind sleeping with a guy...i have a certain type i feel attracted to, some men just so happen to fit into this type, just like some women do i guess and that's all there is to it.

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22 hours ago, johnnyc82 said:

Did you cross dress before this or was it after you realized you liked this man? Have you ever wet with him?

I started to crossdress in my teens. I always knew I like female clothes and makeup and in ideal world, I would be a woman. I met this man more than 15 years later, as a crossdresser making friends with other crossdresser. I did wet myself a few times when he was with me, but he never knew it was a fetish. Like all my friends, he thought it was a genuine wetting accident due to my weak bladder.

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