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I'm scared of moving away.

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Hi. So, I'm a university student, and this upcoming academic year is the first time I'll be living on campus. The idea is really, really scary. It's only an hour drive but the idea of being completely on my own is really depressing. No one I know is attending the school, and I've never even met my roommate. I've never lived anywhere but my parents house before. So of course I'm scared to live in such a different environment. Also, I live in Kentucky, rural Kentucky at that.

As a trans girl, I've never been the most well received in this part of the world, which is fine, to each their own. But, I'm scared of being open about myself since the town I'm moving to, is even smaller than the one I'm in now. And the only group for people like me at the school, is full of elitist arrogant people who're just as mean and prejudiced for different reasons. I don't know what to do. Should I be active, secluded, self interested and goal orientated? College is an opportunity to remake yourself, but I don't know if I can. Should I bring my girl clothes? Should I introduce myself as my girl name? Of course I know practicing the interests of this site will me 100 percent impossible to do safely with a roommate. But It's just, I'm going to be more alone than I already am. No friends at all. 

That's really scary.

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On 7/25/2019 at 11:45 AM, Krissy13 said:

Hi. So, I'm a university student, and this upcoming academic year is the first time I'll be living on campus. The idea is really, really scary. It's only an hour drive but the idea of being completely on my own is really depressing. No one I know is attending the school, and I've never even met my roommate. I've never lived anywhere but my parents house before. So of course I'm scared to live in such a different environment. Also, I live in Kentucky, rural Kentucky at that.

As a trans girl, I've never been the most well received in this part of the world, which is fine, to each their own. But, I'm scared of being open about myself since the town I'm moving to, is even smaller than the one I'm in now. And the only group for people like me at the school, is full of elitist arrogant people who're just as mean and prejudiced for different reasons. I don't know what to do. Should I be active, secluded, self interested and goal orientated? College is an opportunity to remake yourself, but I don't know if I can. Should I bring my girl clothes? Should I introduce myself as my girl name? Of course I know practicing the interests of this site will me 100 percent impossible to do safely with a roommate. But It's just, I'm going to be more alone than I already am. No friends at all. 

That's really scary.

firstly, you need some objectivity in your thinking. you never met the people there, and you mark them as mean, arrogant people from the start? don't judge too fast, if you think like that of someone and act defensive from the start, you will not go along well with them. 

people care much less about sexuality than LGBT community thinks. don't feel the need to explain or show everyone about your transition and just act like a completely normal person, because that's what you actually are. unless a person wants to have sex with you, it's completely irrelevant to them what you are or identify as, what your orientation is or what your fetishes are.

as goes for clothes and looks - if you don't want attention, just dress the way that won't stand out. if you feel like a woman, you do, you don't need clothes to prove that to yourself - there are many women who dress in unisex clothes and don't wear makeup, and they're still women and feel the are. it's a much simpler way to not have to exaplain everyone about your transition. 
there are many schools that use school uniforms just for that reason - nobody stands out, symbolizing unity and dedication to the school. 

after you meet some people there, get friends and trust them, especially the roommate, you can tell them about yourself more, and i'm sure they will accept you - because they will know you primarily as a good person one can talk to, trust, work with, study with with joy, and not as "that trans person". emphasize the qualities that really matter for good relationships with people instead of preocupying yourself with identity and how it will be accepted. 

rather on that, focus on the goal - doing well on college and learning as much as possible, because that's what college is all about 😉 i'm sure that it will be an important experience and i hope an enjoyable one, too. good luck!

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On 7/25/2019 at 10:45 AM, Krissy13 said:

Hi. So, I'm a university student, and this upcoming academic year is the first time I'll be living on campus. The idea is really, really scary. It's only an hour drive but the idea of being completely on my own is really depressing. No one I know is attending the school, and I've never even met my roommate. I've never lived anywhere but my parents house before. So of course I'm scared to live in such a different environment. Also, I live in Kentucky, rural Kentucky at that.

As a trans girl, I've never been the most well received in this part of the world, which is fine, to each their own. But, I'm scared of being open about myself since the town I'm moving to, is even smaller than the one I'm in now. And the only group for people like me at the school, is full of elitist arrogant people who're just as mean and prejudiced for different reasons. I don't know what to do. Should I be active, secluded, self interested and goal orientated? College is an opportunity to remake yourself, but I don't know if I can. Should I bring my girl clothes? Should I introduce myself as my girl name? Of course I know practicing the interests of this site will me 100 percent impossible to do safely with a roommate. But It's just, I'm going to be more alone than I already am. No friends at all. 

That's really scary.

I can’t say what you should do, as that’s your choice, but if you’ve already undergone the transition and all that I don’t see why you shouldn’t just be able to introduce yourself as a girl. If no one knows you, know one should know you are trans unless you tell them. So just act as girl until you trust someone enough to tell them you are a trans-girl. That’s what I expect I’d do, but I lack the person experience to say for certain.

I think if anything, you should just be yourself, other people be damned. That’s how I’ve always lived my life, I don’t really care about other people or what they think, aside from some close friends, but even then I wouldn’t change who I am fbecause of someone else.

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Absolutely try to change to a more positive attitude!

When I arrived at university for my first semester, I was pretty alone as well. But the older students had organized a lot of stuff to show the newbies around and to help them find friends, peer groups and tutors and the like. So I got to know some people from day one. That made for an easy start. Maybe something similar might happen at your university as well. Most probably you're the only person being there without friends, so others might be on the lookout, too. Talk to people and take the opportunities!

Knowing no-one there seems hard at first glance, but in your special case it also offers you a huge opportunity: You can be the girl you are from the start - without being questioned or being pointed at by some jerk. Only you can't tell what's the right thing for you to do. But you surely should take a good look at the opportunities the fresh start offers.

So head held high and good luck for you!

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