starlightsmoon 45 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 heres mine: what do you call a months worth of rain? england heh wales also has a lot of rain but less people seem to know about wales as a country smh we exist guys ANYWAYS TELL US you're BEST JOKES PEEPS B) Link to comment
TVGuy 10,658 Posted December 21, 2018 🌟 OmoOrg VIP Share Posted December 21, 2018 Q- What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? A- I wouldn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on me. gottliebeln, Drakon and starlightsmoon 3 Link to comment
Drakon 114 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 Q: How do you get holy water? A: You boil the Hell out of it. LoadedMink and Brittanybunny 2 Link to comment
desperatewet 152 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 (edited) Why do sharks love in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze. Edited December 21, 2018 by desperatewet Typo (see edit history) Link to comment
Zenya 103 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 What do you call a French man wearing sandals? - Philipe Philope Also, the shovel was a ground-breaking invention. desperatewet 1 Link to comment
Brittanybunny 1,494 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 Thomas Crapper invented the toilet Link to comment
starlightsmoon 45 Posted December 21, 2018 Author Share Posted December 21, 2018 @Brittanybunny @Anisha @TVGuy @Drakon @desperatewet @Jeffery Mewtamer these are all brilliant oh my god Brittanybunny 1 Link to comment
PPP 1,307 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some sort of joke?" Link to comment
bibibibi 169 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 anyone have any peeing related jokes? Link to comment
Imouto Bouquet 581 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 Terrible pun coming through: In what race are urine-powered cars able to compete? The Piss-tonne cup! (Excuse me while I smash my face against the wall for making such a terrible joke.) bibibibi and Slater 2 Link to comment
starlightsmoon 45 Posted December 22, 2018 Author Share Posted December 22, 2018 @PPP @Imouto Bouquet these are perfect yes i love them also @bibibibi ^^^^ this ones amazing bibibibi 1 Link to comment
Ghostblade913 221 Posted December 22, 2018 Share Posted December 22, 2018 Dad I’m hungry Hi hungry I’m dad Dad I’m serous No You’re hungry Youre kidding right No hungry, I’m Dad Brittanybunny and Slater 2 Link to comment
LoadedMink 107 Posted December 22, 2018 Share Posted December 22, 2018 I left for college in September. My dad said "I'm going to miss you." I said "well now that I broke that sight off your rifle." Brittanybunny 1 Link to comment
Char242 96 Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 What do you call someone who smokes Marijuana on the toilet? High on pot. Link to comment
Dr. Philthy 97 Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What are you, blind?" Link to comment
Slater 167 Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 One day, Superman was flying over Metropolis and began to feel really horny. Trying to figure out what to do, he spotted Wonder Woman sunbathing, getting worked up and moaning. Superman figured, he's super fast. He'd fly down there, do his business with her, and before she realizes what's happening, he'll be gone. Mind made up, he rushed down, went in rapidly and flew away. "What was that?" Wonder Woman asked. "I don't know," said Invisible Man, "But my ass burns like hell!"- An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar run by a Haskell programmer who is the bartender. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, the fourth an eighth, and so on. The bartender has a solution for this. giveBeerToMathGuys :: [MathGuy] -> [(MathGuy,Beer)];giveBeerToMathGuys m=beer m 1 where beer (x:xs) k = (x,makeBeer k) : beer xs (k/2) So he pours two beers and walks away. - There was a safety meeting in work today. They asked, "What steps would you take in the event of a fire?" "F###ing big ones," was the wrong answer. - A man's pet corgi was bothering his owner. "What do you want?" the owner asked. "Food," the corgi replied. "You just ate!" "But I want more food!" "No, you will get fat." "What is fat?" "Fat is when you eat too much." The corgi thinks a moment. "Fat sounds awesome! Let's get fat!" SJC Omorashi and Char242 2 Link to comment
Ghostblade913 221 Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 In America you pee in toilet In Soviet Russia toilet pees in you Link to comment
Gamerman 125 Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 Dad is checking out at the store cashier: hello sir would you like the milk in a bag? Dad: no I prefer you keep it in the carton please Link to comment
Ghostblade913 221 Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 A traveling man walks into a town and sees a guy sitting by himself looking sad so He decides to buy the man a drink. he then asks the sad man why was he sad the sad man said “see that dock?i built that dock by myself, and do they call me Phil the dock builder? No!” he then points to a to a field and says “I’ve farmed those fields for 30 years, and do they call me Phil the farmer?No!” he then says “But then you fuck one goat- Link to comment
Char242 96 Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 1. What is a little sister's favorite ride? Her nissan. 2. What dessert goes best with anime? Sempie SJC Omorashi 1 Link to comment
TVGuy 10,658 Posted January 8, 2019 🌟 OmoOrg VIP Share Posted January 8, 2019 William Shatner's lingerie company filed for bankruptcy recently. For some reason "Shatner Panties" just didn't sell that well. desperatewet, Char242, Bothan1138 and 1 other 4 Link to comment
Ghostblade913 221 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 A girl went to visit her grandma She played with her dolls as grandma dusted the furniture. At one point, she looked up and asked: "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the back of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little girl heard the doorbell ring so she hurried to open the front door. When she opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said: "Hello young lady. Is your grandma home?" The little girl replied: "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend." Drakon 1 Link to comment
CaptainCranberry 166 Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 How many ears does Captain Kirk have? 3. A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear. desperatewet 1 Link to comment
DrBorderline 325 Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 Q: How many survivalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they all stock up on candles and kerosene lanterns. To be honest, I actually stole that from another survivalist. And he wasn't actually trying to be funny, just make a point. Link to comment
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