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Useless Super Powers


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Ability to have super speed, you can only use it when you run in place.

The ability to see in the dark, but only when the sun is out

The ability to read your own mind

Cactus Telepathy: Psychic communication with all species of cacti.

 

Personal Retro-reflection: Your reflection in any mirror raises its left hand when you raise your right, and so on.

 

Low Intensity Eidetic Memory: Perfect recall of all the boring moments in your life; sixth period trigonometry, every visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles, waiting for streaming videos to buffer.

 

Voluntary Epidermal Hypertrophy: Grow callouses on demand.

 

Cosmetic Alteration Reversion Field: Anyone within ten feet who has had elective cosmetic surgery has their original physiology return until they leave the area of your influence.

 

Gyroscopic Inertia: If you dismount a bicycle while it is moving, it will continue to travel perfectly upright until it totally runs out of forward momentum, at which point it will fall over.

 

Keratin Projectiles: You can launch your fingernails from your fingers with a little less velocity than rubber bands from a rubber band gun. It takes at least a month to grow back and the fingernail areas are painfully tender until then.

 

Pinocchio Compass: Your nose grows longer when you're looking at magnetic north.

 

Sorry if I went overboard there. Also apologies if I repeated somebody else's idea.

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Cactus Telepathy: Psychic communication with all species of cacti.

 

Personal Retro-reflection: Your reflection in any mirror raises its left hand when you raise your right, and so on.

 

Low Intensity Eidetic Memory: Perfect recall of all the boring moments in your life; sixth period trigonometry, every visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles, waiting for streaming videos to buffer.

 

Voluntary Epidermal Hypertrophy: Grow callouses on demand.

 

Cosmetic Alteration Reversion Field: Anyone within ten feet who has had elective cosmetic surgery has their original physiology return until they leave the area of your influence.

 

Gyroscopic Inertia: If you dismount a bicycle while it is moving, it will continue to travel perfectly upright until it totally runs out of forward momentum, at which point it will fall over.

 

Keratin Projectiles: You can launch your fingernails from your fingers with a little less velocity than rubber bands from a rubber band gun. It takes at least a month to grow back and the fingernail areas are painfully tender until then.

 

Pinocchio Compass: Your nose grows longer when you're looking at magnetic north.

 

Sorry if I went overboard there. Also apologies if I repeated somebody else's idea.

You're an absolute genius.

 

I think I'm going to use cactus telepathy in one of my RPGMaker games, just for the hell of it.

 

The ability to respond to any message perfectly clearly no matter what the weather, but your responses to any emergency message is 'Haven't Met You Yet' by Michael Buble.

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Cactus Telepathy: Psychic communication with all species of cacti.

 

Personal Retro-reflection: Your reflection in any mirror raises its left hand when you raise your right, and so on.

 

Low Intensity Eidetic Memory: Perfect recall of all the boring moments in your life; sixth period trigonometry, every visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles, waiting for streaming videos to buffer.

 

Voluntary Epidermal Hypertrophy: Grow callouses on demand.

 

Cosmetic Alteration Reversion Field: Anyone within ten feet who has had elective cosmetic surgery has their original physiology return until they leave the area of your influence.

 

Gyroscopic Inertia: If you dismount a bicycle while it is moving, it will continue to travel perfectly upright until it totally runs out of forward momentum, at which point it will fall over.

 

Keratin Projectiles: You can launch your fingernails from your fingers with a little less velocity than rubber bands from a rubber band gun. It takes at least a month to grow back and the fingernail areas are painfully tender until then.

 

Pinocchio Compass: Your nose grows longer when you're looking at magnetic north.

 

Sorry if I went overboard there. Also apologies if I repeated somebody else's idea.

As far as I'm concerned, Voluntary Epidermal Hypertrophy would be quite useful. I am a four mallet player, and we get calluses on our middle fingers because of the grip. It would have been a lot funner experience if that 'existed' when I first started playing.

 

Ability to: Run at high speeds backwards.  

 

 

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My thoughts on the subject:

- The ability to prevent people you sleep with from remembering their dreams after they wake up.

- The ability to pass through screen doors.

- The power to see surfaces that have come into contact with semen as bright orange.

- The ability to identify industral cleaning agents by ingesting them.

- Telekenisis that can only be used to roll 12 sided dice.

 

 

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The ability to increase gravity pressure on yourself.

That would be good, if you wanted to become stronger. Just increase slowly, and when you get used to it, go more.

 

The ability to increase the effects of gravity on yourself would be great for strength training, provided you could deactivate the ability.

How about telekinetic powers that only work on water(not ice or water vapor and not any contained in the water) and it stops working if any water makes contact with your skin(including sweat, saliva, urine, etc.)?

I guess it's useless to practice telekenesis while you're in the process of wetting yourself, then... Damn. xD

 

The power to cause one random friend to block you at random.

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