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Having boundaries with your fetish


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I felt very awkward recently. I think I have said before but I have a very disabled child who has such complex needs it is unlikely he will ever be continent. I am party if a community online of families with similar children. 

Now while i love pee desperation and adult holding and perhaps leaking I have strict boundaries with my fetish. 

Sadly my community of families with severely disabled children’s get targeted daily by diaper fetish people which is disturbing and upsetting. 

So what boundaries do you have for your fetish and how do you keep things from upsetting others? 

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Really sorry to hear that

My boundaries are basically any ethical boundaries for this fetish: Don't force someone to wet themselves (without their consent), don't take too much pleasure in a person's unwanted pee accident (though one can't help being aroused by it if their pain doesn't override one's fetish, which it usually would for me), unless they're posting about their experience here and want us to enjoy it. And don't try to make them feel worse about it.

I also try to limit my fantasies to fictional characters. Mostly animated, but there have been a few live action ones too since it seems pretty common to write omo stories about Harry Potter on here.

Of course I don't wet myself in front of anyone either, but that's mainly due to being fetish-shy and not wanting anyone to see me like that.

And my fantasies never involve people being disabled, I am a little sensitive to that and don't want to fetishize it.

Edited by The Dark Wolf (see edit history)
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For me the main boundary is keeping other ones away from my fetish activities (until they are also into it) which includes especially:

 - forcing someone to have an accident against their will,

- exposing someone to watching my fetish, which limits my public fetish activities.

Also another limit is lack of interest in underage people's stories. And - as mentioned above - disalbed people are excluded from my interest. 

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Thanks everyone. I think 99% of us on here would not cross the line to contacting parents of disabled children reagarding diapers etc but sadly a few have and it upset me. 

That being said I myself have standards which include:

no underage

no forcing anyone else

no humiliation or embarrassment 

no pain on anyone else 

and complete confidentiality at all times. 

 

Thanks for replying! 

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I've got just one boundary, but it covers a lot: EVERYTHING CONSENSUAL. 

Some of my favorite vids of all time were clearly not consensual. I deleted them, and I don't watch them when I see them posted online. 

This rules out underage, too, as we're real strict about that at school: they might say yes, but they can't consent, legally. 

I had a weird moment last summer where the sister of one of my best friends was standing in line ahead of me for the restaurant bathroom (single-seat unisex rooms). She said, "I put it off too long... it's urgent!" Years ago I would have been as hard as a rock from hearing that. But by now I'm so used to it only being consensual, and this obviously was not, that I wasn't even turned on at all. I had a moment's thought: This is the sort of thing that turns me on -- and that was it. 

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I might not be understanding the question. But my attempted answer.

I don't like it when a model touches herself and rubs her hands all over herself while she's holding or wetting, and I really hate it when they strip everything off and hate it more when they masturbate. That's mostly where I draw the line, I guess. Any wetting I see has to be as authentic-looking as possible or it'll just be a turn-off. I reach into some sadism territory with the fetish though, as in, if you're enjoying being tied up and moaning and groaning about your situation, and it's clear you're a masochist in the situation and being pleasured by it, then it's a turn-off. My fetish is extremely limited though to a form of mostly "non-consensual", full-bladder, wetting only, fully clothed. I've watched videos of models doing it only to gain ideas for personal fantasies and maybe story writing. And if they don't pee a lot, that turns me off too.

I won't fight or argue anyone on this subject because I think I'm in an extremely small minority about this, but candid videos in which the person remains anonymous is fine to me. Same with fiction or any work of art. Like what Evanb100 said, fiction only or recalling past accounts in a story, I think anything is open.


Seeking out to involve real kids in your kink/fetish, especially disabled, is not only idiotic, unjustified, and a low level of (I'm at a loss for words), it's also extremely illegal.
If you're at a urinal, and you pull away too soon or something and a little boy goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw that man's pee-pee." You're in danger of a lawsuit that puts you on the child sex offender's list for life, a 5-year prison sentence, lock down on where you can go or drive or places you can work, and everyone who hires you will only see "child sex offender". Because of a little accidental motion in the bathroom. A vice principal once confiscated  sexting problem at a high school and held onto the phone that originally took the picture. He showed it to the principal, and he locked it up and called the police. The police came and charged the vice principal for saving and sharing child pornography, and the principal was charged with receiving it. And the two were forced to leave their jobs and couldn't work in that industry anymore after prison time.

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What I will not be turned on by: things that do not turn me on.  I don't flog myself for being turned on by things.  I fortunately don't get turned on by children, but that's a fact about me, not a boundary.

What I will not do online: ask people I don't know for omo content, or give omo material to people who don't ask for it.  This is a bit nuanced; the idea is to not bother anyone, but there are grey areas (like AskReddit threads).  This is about what I do myself, by the way: if someone else posts it, see above.

What I will not do to people around me: sexually, physically, or emotionally abuse them.  (I find "no forced accidents" to be a very low bar to set.)

I'd like to point out that there's a grey zone between "forced" and "consensual" that encompasses almost everything.

What I will do: drive the conversation to peeing in a variety of cases, for people I know or am getting to know, especially if I am considering them as a potential romantic partner.  Their attitude here is important to me, and not bringing it up in some form before I'm comfortable with telling them I'm into it would not give better results for anyone.  What questions I ask my friends is between me and them.

What is still up for debate for me: when choosing between two otherwise equivalent choices where all present are informed of all risks, ceteris paribus, is there anything wrong with going for the one that maximises my pleasure?

What I will definitely not do: claim the above is self-evident or in any way a universal moral or ethical truth.

Edited by Ranpalan (see edit history)
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