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Advice on a desperation scene in a non omo fiction


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I am writing a story. It is a non omorashi, non fetish story. I want to add a scene where one of the main female characters is desperate to pee. This is sort of as a nod to those who like omorashi as well of a potentially comical scene for the general population. I just feel really weird about making an omorashi scene that is not pornographic in nature. I also feel really weird about potentially putting my real name on this story and showing it to people i know. I just want to hear what other people think of my situation. Does anyone else put peeing/desperation scenes in works they don't publish as omorashi related? 

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I don't. But I've given thought to this topic before. I feel that the best way to deal with showing a kink-based scene in a non-kink focused story is to pare down on the details. It depends heavily how far you really want to go with it. Ideally, if it's only supposed to be a nod, the actual wetting would be a sentence only, or not even explicitly mentioned. I think you might want to decide first how it functions in your story - major plot point, background detail, fun nod, comedic relief, etc. Then you could decide probably how much detail the reader really needs.

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I've written quite a few desperation scenes in non-omo stories of mine. If you think about it, several TV shows, including cartoons, have some scenes of desperation. Based on this, I thought that it wouldn't be too big of a deal to have a desperation scene in a non-omo story.

Of course, since it's a non-omo story, the writing style is different. I focus less on the character's feelings and thoughts about her desperation. I will describe her movements, and have her say a few lines about how desperate she is to pee, but use less detail to describe it. The key is to find a balance where you can describe clearly what's going on, but not over-describe it to the point where readers might wonder why you're focusing on it so much.

One of my favorite ways to go about this is having it happen while something else relevant to the plot is going on. That way, while the characters are doing something relevant to the story's plot, I can describe the desperate character's movements, and have her say a couple of lines about how desperate she is. That way I can get away with having the desperation scene last a bit longer without anyone getting the feeling that it's interrupting the story.

I remember in one episode of a fanfiction series I wrote, I had one character be desperate for almost the entire episode. That time, what I did is to keep that character's desperation in the background, while the main plot of the episode was being played out. Every once in a while I'd have the character give a few signals of her desperation, but since I was keeping it mostly in the background, none of my readers ever asked me what was going on with that, and just read along and enjoyed the episode. Of course, I probably went too far with prolonging the desperation that much, but you get the point.

Sometimes a good idea for adding in a desperation scene in a story is having the desperation itself play a part in the story's plot. For example, what if a character gets really desperate to pee, and ends up rushing to the bathroom just when something important to the plot is about to happen? Perhaps something bad happens to everyone in the room, and the character was saved by her rush to the bathroom. Or what if a character is desperate to pee, and ends up revealing information they weren't supposed to reveal because of how desperate they are and wanted to end the conversation as soon as possible? Here the idea would be to make it seem like the desperation is only there to make something relevant happen, instead of being a point in itself.

Of course, how you write the scene mostly depends on what kind of story you're working on, how much background detail you're already giving to the other scenes (readers might scratch their heads if you add more detail during the desperation scene than during the rest of the story), and the overall setting of the story. Personally, I think a story that already has a lighthearted and comedy feel would be the best one to add in a pee desperation scene in, but there's surely ways to make it work in other kinds of stories as well.

Wow, that turned out to be longer than expected. I hope you found it useful, though. The main idea here is that, however you write the scene, if it's a non-omo story, the key is to give it less detail and focus than you would in an omo story. Try to keep it at the same level of detail you'd give jokes or secondary elements in the story. Personally, I think it's perfectly fine to add desperation scenes, and perhaps even a brief wetting in a non-omo work, as long as you make sure to not overdescribe it. How much you describe it depends on your story.

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On 9/1/2018 at 7:34 PM, Plug Cryostat said:

I just feel really weird about making an omorashi scene that is not pornographic in nature. I also feel really weird about potentially putting my real name on this story and showing it to people i know. I just want to hear what other people think of my situation. Does anyone else put peeing/desperation scenes in works they don't publish as omorashi related? 

I would say the important thing to remember is that most people won't feel the same way about desperation that we do. For us it has sexual implications, so naturally it feels weird when it comes up in a non-sexual context. Most other people will not think twice about a desperation scene, unless it is really over the top in terms of frequency or detail. They definitely will not think that this scene means anything sexual for you because it is not sexual for them, so I don't think you have to worry too much about revealing your fetish through your work. Having to pee is a normal everyday experience for humans, so it is only natural to include it in stories about humans. And even famous authors probably integrate their sexual preferences into their work all the time without anyone noticing it, unless they have the same fetish. 

If you are worried it might be a good idea to make sure that the scene serves some purpose in your story. For instance it could be one of the following:

  • Character development. For example, think about a hostage situation where one of the hostages voices her need to pee. The way the hostage-taker reacts to that situation could tell a lot about his character. If he reacts insecure and does not know what to do this could be an indicator that he might just be a desperate (not in that way) person who is in way over his head and does not actually want anyone to get hurt. If on the other hand he reacts indifferent to her need this could show that he is indeed a hardened criminal who only cares about getting the job done and has no consideration for the people he took hostage.
  • Developing relationships between characters. How a friend reacts to a persons announcement that she is desperate to pee could for instance say a lot about the nature of that friendship.
  • Increasing the tension of a situation. Think about the scene in Stephen King's "It" for instance, when Beverly becomes extremely desperate while hiding from the bullies who would probably kill her when they see her, just waiting for them to move along so that she can escape. It increases the reader's investment in the situation, because it is easy to imagine her growing urgency to get out of that situation.
  • Comic relief. Also have your character actually pee rather than just being desperate and it becomes a relief that is also a comic relief ?
  • Incorporate the desperation into the story, like @RedFish3000 suggested

Finally just make sure that you do not mention unnecessary details that do not serve the purpose of the scene in some way and you should be good to go!

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