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A matter of size


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"So we are sure that we got everything we need?"
Jake raised his eyebrow a little...he had his doubts. Normally he wasn`t the kind of person to be
picky – but he was also lazy and has zero interest in going to the shop again once they were home, just because they forgot something.
Plus, the store will close anyway in twenty minutes...so we couldn`t just come back...
Well, not legally anyway...

"Thats why I made a
list, smartass! Because you always forget half of the shit we need!"
Also, stop saying "we" if you`re only talking about yourself...
Sometimes he wondered how someone as unorganized and planless as Jake could even exist.
That alone wouldn`t even be that bad – but his so-called
boyfriend there also had the tendency to make it look like he was the one with the bad memory.
Of course Juan didn`t even need to look at the small piece of paper in his pocket – memorizing a mere
six things wasn`t exactly a challenge.
"Okay, so lets check..."
The olive-skinned boy quickly grabbed the bag from Jakes hand and glared inside.
"Right, so there are the paper towels – check..."

And hell, we`ll need them later...
"Semi-frozen pizza, four boxes – check..."
Right now, he felt like he could at least eat three of them by himself...
"Water – check, Potato chips – check, Beer..."
Juan paused for a moment, wondering on
how they were even supposed on smuggeling that out of the store...but for now he resumed with their grocery list.
"...check! And...
strawberry-flavor lube..."
A faint blush appeared on his cheeks – this was akward...but he loved that stuff. And of course it made the whole thing a lot more pleasant.
He was just about to hand their groceries back to Jake, as they approached the checkout counter – when he noticed something else in there.
"The hell is
this?"

"Looks like hair dye to me..." Jake replied in the most neutral tone he could come up with.
"You know I dye my hair, so whats the problem?"

Oh great –
that again...
"Well first – this isn`t on the list. See? That`s why you can`t even tell if we got everything, because you always throw in some extra junk. And second..."
Juan rolled his eyes.
"...twelve tubes? I repeat:
twelve! You plan on opening a hair salon?"

"Man, leave me alone! I only want to make sure I always got enough in case it starts to wash out..."
As they passed by a mirror, Jake used the opportunity to brush his hand through his pitch-black hair, nervously checking for any signs of his...
natural hair color.
Thankfully it was all fine..

"Pffft. Whatever. Fine – keep your hair dye then. Don`t want to trigger the
apocalypse if someone finds out your`re actually-"

"Sssssh, not in public!"

"You really got issues there. Alright, I just
think it then.."
...blonde!
"There we go!"

"You`re a bitch!"

"Look who`s talking..."
Juan paused for a moment as also took a moment to check his appearance in the mirror. Only he wasn`t paranoid about his hair color. He liked his dark hazel curls the way they were.
"...anyway, I wanted to ask that before.."
He lowered his voice, not too eager in letting anyone else know about that...
issue
"How do you plan on getting the beer past the cashier? Please tell me you`re not using that fake drivers license..."
Oh sweet mother of mercy, I beg you not to use that damn thing! Even a blind person could see it`s fake...

"Hey, it says I`m nineteen on here! Whats your problem?"
Jake tapped at the imprinted birthdate with a dead serious look on his face.
"And it`s not fake as long no one notices my photo is just glued to the surface...or the overflowing glue...or that it expired in 1992..."

Still a completely serious look...

"You...just..."
Oh no. He wasn`t going to choke his boyfriend.
Not in public at least.
"Stop trolling me! Whats your real plan?"

"This
is my real plan!"
Shit, I don`t think I can keep this up much longer.
But looking at Juans face made it all worth it. No situation was too dumb to be turned into a joke.

He wanted to grab Jakes skinny ass. Smack him so hard it would look like ten hours of rough pounding. Unfortunately, he was too damn shy to do this...not while he was
sober at least.
You are fifteen bitch! And even that is sometimes hard to believe! Why can`t you be serious at least sometimes?!
Nope. Too shy to openly yell that either. Damn it!
"I give up...you are too much for me..."

"Okay, okay...I will use
plan P...happy?"

"I really...really can´t believe I`m saying this but: thanks for just messing with me."
Also, the sheer fact that he would ever be happy about his friend using
that plan instead was...mind-boggling.

Edited by Lakur (see edit history)
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