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I recently got back from a week-long rafting trip down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon. I love the outdoors and am an experienced backpacker, but have never had quite an experience like this one so I thought I would share.

When anyone is backpacking, I’m sure they are accustomed to stepping behind a tree or a rock anytime they need to pee. The Grand Canyon has some specific rules however! Peeing is not allowed anywhere but IN the river. They said this was because of the hot climate, lack of rain and the massive amount of people who use the park each year. If everyone just went wherever, it would start to stink down there very quickly, so their “Solution to Pollution is Dilution.” (In addition, there’s no digging a hole and burying a No. 2. Those have to be packed out as well.)

My trip was 17 people strong in two motorized rafts, comprising two older couples, a group of college guys who were on the other boat and we didn’t see very often, a father and his daughter, and my group: three guys and two girls in our late 20s, early 30s.

The bottom of the Grand Canyon is HOT. Over 100 degrees every day and rarely getting below 80 at night. We all had essentially some form of light material “moisture-wicking” tops and fast-drying athletic shorts on each day. I was wearing a pair of Under Armour fishing shorts that were incredibly comfortable. Hydration is so important that each of our rafts had huge 5-gallon jugs of water and Gatorade available at all times. Because of this, everyone had to pee A LOT. The rafts would pull over every hour or so, and the guys would line up on the bank to one side of the boats while the girls would head to the other to find some cover and squat over the water.

The other interesting thing about the Grand Canyon is that the water in the river is super cold due to the dam upstream. Taking a dip and soaking ones clothing was the quickest and most effective way to cool off. By Day Three, our group was simply wading into the water to “cool off” every time we had to pee. If it was too shallow before hitting the swift current past the edges of the river, the girls would squat down with their shorts still on while the guys would get real close to free themselves and pee without providing a full show to the co-ed group.

Side hikes made things interesting. When we were away from the river, we were supposed to pee 100 feet from a water source. PROBLEM: Literally every side hike was up a side canyon to a waterfall that was a water source. The first hike we did up a side canyon, myself and another guy in our group had to pee 15 minutes into the walk and slipped behind a big boulder to go. The young trainee guide with our group passed us and said that was frowned upon – especially by our lead guide. No idea if everyone down there is that strict or if we just had a ridiculous guide. I didn’t argue though because it set up a lot of fun (for me!) after I relayed the message to the rest of the group.

The next day we climbed a big trail straight up from the river floor to look at some ruins in the canyon wall. ¾ of the way up, I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait. Somehow I managed to separate myself from the fast group up front and the slower hikers behind me on this wide-open hillside. Instead of being “caught” this time, I pretended to stare up at the canyon wall with my hands on my head while I slowly peed my shorts. I then poured some water from my bottle over my head to “cool off” and no one knew. Three of the other four people in my group raced back to the river once we descended so they could pee.

The next day we reached a camp that had an actual toilet and a water spigot near the river where our crew re-supplied. With a campground nearby and a couple of rim trails lead down to the canyon floor at that spot, there were a bunch of hikers around. Instead of just blatantly peeing in front of the hikers, myself and a girl from my group decided to be “respectful” and head up to the toilet. Little did we know it was a half mile away further downstream! We kept walking and walking, me stiffly in front and her behind. I was turning around a bunch both to see if we had missed the bathroom somehow and because she seemed to be growing increasingly desperate.

As we both obviously had to go urgently, and were both frustrated with not finding the bathroom yet, I confessed to my “accident” the day before, saying that we’d been essentially peeing ourselves in the water and it was the best way to pee when away from the river without being caught. Her response was: “Oh! Wow. Well. I guess that makes sense.” Not a minute later I hear “hey, I’m heading back to the boats” and she turns around to go the other way. I immediately focused my eyes on her butt and saw her shorts were super shiny and her legs were wet and I knew exactly what she’d done. So I yelled back “be right behind you” and proceeded to pee my pants for the second time in two days. The incident was not mentioned again.

By the last days of the trip, the girls in our group had grown especially brazen about just going in their pants. Coming back from a final side hike up a stream that unbeknownst to us ended up being 3.5 miles, one girl apparently couldn’t wait for the main river, sitting down in an inch of trickling water in a tributary just before we reached the boats to clearly pee herself. The other girl in our group walked into the river until she was maybe ankle deep and instantly let it all flow down her legs while just standing there in full view.

Our last day on the boat didn’t see many rapids, and we busted out beers to enjoy during the slow journey in the afternoon. At our second “pee break,” our entire group was buzzing pretty good and jumped directly into the water. No one made a move to free themselves. It was a mass river wetting J.

Normally being wet when in the outdoors is a death sentence, but it’s the only way to cool off in the hot Grand Canyon. Certainly a trip I would take again!

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Its nice to find another river rafter. I have taken Boy Scouts to the American River from time to time. Like you, we needed to stay well hydrated all the time. Temperatures ranged to 105 degrees. Every time we found some calm water, we pulled to the shore. I had the kids jump out of the raft to cool off from in the river. I am sure some took that time to pee in their shorts. Between shooting the rapids I liked to hang out near the shoreline. It was way closer than the campground bathrooms. Whenever I needed to pee I lazily peed in my jeans and waded into the river to cool off. 

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On 8/11/2017 at 4:51 PM, Skid2010 said:

Sounds like an awesome experience, iv always wanted to raft the Grand Canyon. How long did you have to wait to get a permit?

 

We booked with one of the licensed companies last fall. With a lot of pre-planning, I don't think those spots are hard to get (just pricey!) I've heard people in the private trip lottery sometimes wait 10 years or more for a permit, though.

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