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2 sentence horror stories


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Joke

I walked into a building once. It had no wifi.

Real attempt

My son was hiding at the bottom of his bed and told me to look up and that there was a ghost on his bed. I looked up and my son was there and said that he thought there was a ghost under his bed.

I always thought my dog had a problem with staring at me. After paying more attention I realized that she was always staring behind me.

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(Joke attempt)
After a long-awaited evacuation of your bowels, you reach towards the toilet roll. It's empty and you're in a public toilet.

(Serious one)
The tunnel was pitch black, with little more than the light of your torch* cutting through the inky blackness. Your footsteps were the only thing proving your advance through the infinite darkness, until they stopped as your torch flickered into nothingness. You were surrounded by tiny pockets of red light, and a child's laugh sounded behind you; the lights advanced, they were eyes, children's eyes.

(Okay, so that was three sentences, bite me. =P)
*A 'Torch' is called a 'Flashlight' by our American friends on the other end of the Pond, I believe.

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"I love you." "Go fuck yourself."

 

As the inventor of time travel, I get to experience things no one else has experienced before. Like, being stuck in a time where you're older than your own mother, knowing the day she will die.

 

My love is the jealous kind, no other woman is to enter the life of my man. Being two days old or having come out of me, they are no excuses.

 

Today I was out collecting mushrooms for the first time, I identified the edible ones with the help of a mushroom guidebook. After finishing the delicious stew, I recognized a couple of pictures from the pages that describe lethally poisonous lookalikes.

 

...And of course, I saved the most horrifying for the last...

 

Deadline tomorrow. Coffee machine broken.

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