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Reactions to Wetting in Public


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This topic has been brought up a few times in the past, but I have some thoughts that no one's mentioned before.

I was reading @KozmoFox's library wetting and public mall gauntlet (again) today and it got me thinking: there is no way I could pull something like this off as a guy, because the stigma of wetting yourself is too big. People here have had theories on this before: women having accidents is a common tale in popular culture so it's less surprising, guys are supposed to be able to hold it longer, or that guys can just "whip it out" so why would they ever pee their pants. There has been debate from both sides, but I think they're missing something crucial: a guy in this situation wouldn't just seem pathetic or gross, also would be seen as a pervert or sexual deviant. And while in our case that's mostly true (since most of us are doing this because we enjoy it), most women who were visibly desperate or wet in public would not be seen that way.

Even if I were as much of a ninja as Kozmo usually is (mad props Kozmo), the risk of potentially being seen just seems...weightier.

What do you guys think? Do you agree, or am I the one with the double standard? Have you (men or woman) ever been desperate or wet in public, and how did people react? 

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Women have the advantage in that they can just piss down their legs and the skirt hides most of it. Their legs will dry fairly quickly, being hairless, so they can get away with it. If they're wearing shorts or jeans, then they're in the same boat as us men. If we wet our pants, the world knows and we keep informing them for ages because our clothing dries slowly.

I've seen a woman walking along with drops of wetness on the path behind her and nothing visible on her clothing. I've wet my pants by a roadside, but late at night, with hardly anyone around. I couldn't do it in full view of anyone. 

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I was very young - under 10 I guess when I saw a woman suddenly stop walking along the street and stand with  her legs slightly apart  and let loose a stream of pee.  This was so against everything I had been taught about what it was right for adults to do in public that it really freaked me out.  I didn't like to talk to mum about it at the time  but later she did explain about everyone having problems some times and that helped me understand.  

I wasn't disgusted by the lady's behaviour - only a bit confused as until I  was a little younger my parents had allowed me to pee in the gutter (admittedly not on the sidewalk) if I was desperate so as to avoid wet pants.  But by the time of the incident the rule had changed to "you must never pee in public even if it means risking an accident in your pants". 

 

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It's certainly true to say that women wearing skirts have a distinct advantage over men - apart from the ones north of the border who wear kilts, that is.  

I have witnessed public peeing at least three times over the years.  On one occasion a guy just got his cock out and did a wee in broad view of everyone in a small country town.  It took me by surprise but nobody seemed much fazed by it.  I was a little perplexed because he was within yards of perfectly reasonable public toilets which he could have used.  On another occasion I caught a guy peeing against the outside wall of a supermarket - again 500 yards from a perfectly serviceable public loo.  On a third occasion I caught a guy weeing against the medieval church in my little market town after a wedding.  That one did anger me quite unlike the other two because I'm well aware of the corrosive effects of uric acid on historic buildings and there were public houses nearby where he could have used the facilities.   

 

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It's purely a social thing. In general men are viewed as the physically dominant gender, therefore certain standards are set in the minds of many on how men should act and behave. 

I'll try and explain it this way; when one sees a woman crying on tv I would imagine the general feeling is of sympathy, however, flip that onto a man in that situation and the general feeling would not be sympathetic but rather a general murmuring of "pull yourself together"  situation dependent of course. 

Now put that into context and you (hopefully) have an explanation as to why men and their actions are viewed through different eyes than those of the fairer sex. 

So the sight of a man, the alpha male, losing control of such a basic bodily function would indeed be viewed in a much darker light. 

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6 hours ago, Adrian6970wc said:

It's certainly true to say that women wearing skirts have a distinct advantage over men - apart from the ones north of the border who wear kilts, that is.

Yeah, and I agree with that, but that's not really what I'm talking about here. I'm saying, all other things kept equal, lets say both genders wetting their jeans visibly, what happens if you get caught? It seems like men would be met with not just disgust, but possibly hostility

5 hours ago, Spurgle said:

It's purely a social thing. In general men are viewed as the physically dominant gender, therefore certain standards are set in the minds of many on how men should act and behave. 

I'll try and explain it this way; when one sees a woman crying on tv I would imagine the general feeling is of sympathy, however, flip that onto a man in that situation and the general feeling would not be sympathetic but rather a general murmuring of "pull yourself together"  situation dependent of course. 

Now put that into context and you (hopefully) have an explanation as to why men and their actions are viewed through different eyes than those of the fairer sex. 

So the sight of a man, the alpha male, losing control of such a basic bodily function would indeed be viewed in a much darker light. 

But that's what I'm saying, I guess. It seems like more than that. I'd be more worried about not just extra humiliation, but hostility or even arrest. People aren't just less sympathetic to men in situations like this, I worry they'd see them as sex offenders somehow (where women might get more of the benefit of the doubt).

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6 hours ago, Spurgle said:

It's purely a social thing. In general men are viewed as the physically dominant gender, therefore certain standards are set in the minds of many on how men should act and behave. 

I'll try and explain it this way; when one sees a woman crying on tv I would imagine the general feeling is of sympathy, however, flip that onto a man in that situation and the general feeling would not be sympathetic but rather a general murmuring of "pull yourself together"  situation dependent of course. 

Now put that into context and you (hopefully) have an explanation as to why men and their actions are viewed through different eyes than those of the fairer sex. 

So the sight of a man, the alpha male, losing control of such a basic bodily function would indeed be viewed in a much darker light. 

Agree with whatever he said.

In addition, females naturally have somewhat of a "victim image". Where anything that bad that happens to them is viewed as requiring sympathy. Like what Spurgle said, if something horrible and embarrassing like wetting your pants happens to a girl, everybody flocks to console her. I don't want to get into any discussion about sexism, but this is undeniably true.

However males are more or less seen as the gender that can take comedy, mocking, as well as other "embarrassing" moments. There's that stigma. Notice how most comedy movies have the male being the one getting all the jokes and mocking, as well as all the embarrassing and hurtful things happen to him. This is also partly why most omorashi accidents in movies usually happens to males, who are seen as able to take the "embarrassing moments".

And that all translates into situations like these I guess.

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Peeing you pants in public requirers one of two basic elements. The first being a plausible reason or the second, having enough guts to do it. 

I have witnessed both males and females wet in public. When it is a female people are definitely more apt to offer up excuses/reasons why she might have done it. When it is a male the excuses/reasons offer up are almost nil. For people not into omo they need to validate the action with a reason. Ultimately if you wish to wet in public you need to find a place and time that wetting your pants will give people the opportunity to invent a reason or excuse for you. Or you will need to be brave and offer up you own reason. That takes confidence and if you have confidence the people that see you will simply be afraid to ridicule you. 

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There are some people who just cannot forego a dare, I knew one such girl...she would wet her shorts in the high street if I dared her.   Did not give a damn if anyone saw her doing it or the aftermath.......she had a reputation for being a bit wild, she was also 'bi' and would openly kiss her g/fs on the street and show them how wet her panties were.

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I've been desperate in public many times, and occasionally I've had to leak. I find it's difficult to get any kind of reaction. When I've wet myself in public, I've normally done the actual wetting somewhere out of the way where nobody can see, but sometimes I've had to walk back home, or to my car, or onto a train, with wet jeans. Nobody has ever said anything to suggest they've noticed I've wet myself, just the occasional glance. I guess wettings just feel a lot more noticeable than they actually are.

I've had a few comments on my desperation, though, like "are you ok, do you need the loo?" and "just go behind that wall, if you're that desperate", normally when I'm quite visibly squirming and crossing my legs while standing in a checkout queue or waiting for a train or whatever.

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6 hours ago, Brandie said:

Peeing you pants in public requirers one of two basic elements. The first being a plausible reason or the second, having enough guts to do it. 

I have witnessed both males and females wet in public. When it is a female people are definitely more apt to offer up excuses/reasons why she might have done it. When it is a male the excuses/reasons offer up are almost nil. For people not into omo they need to validate the action with a reason. Ultimately if you wish to wet in public you need to find a place and time that wetting your pants will give people the opportunity to invent a reason or excuse for you. Or you will need to be brave and offer up you own reason. That takes confidence and if you have confidence the people that see you will simply be afraid to ridicule you. 

That is a very good point. 

Whenever I have wet outside I always do it such that it is a believable accident. It usually actually is an accident, sort of, in that mostly what I like doing is risking an accident by going out somewhere with a full bladder where there are no convenient toilets. 

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2 hours ago, mugfulloftea said:

I've been desperate in public many times, and occasionally I've had to leak. I find it's difficult to get any kind of reaction. When I've wet myself in public, I've normally done the actual wetting somewhere out of the way where nobody can see, but sometimes I've had to walk back home, or to my car, or onto a train, with wet jeans. Nobody has ever said anything to suggest they've noticed I've wet myself, just the occasional glance. I guess wettings just feel a lot more noticeable than they actually are.

I've had a few comments on my desperation, though, like "are you ok, do you need the loo?" and "just go behind that wall, if you're that desperate", normally when I'm quite visibly squirming and crossing my legs while standing in a checkout queue or waiting for a train or whatever.

I agree that most people don't notice most of the time if you wet yourself unless it's really obvious like you've just peed in light blue jeans in a very public place. 

It feels more conspicuous than it really is, I think. And if someone does notice something they're more likely to think it must be something you spilt or just an unusual pattern or shading in your clothes, especially if you are acting as though there is nothing amiss. 

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On 4/5/2017 at 0:11 PM, davidparker265 said:

I'd be more worried about not just extra humiliation, but hostility or even arrest.

As a male who has deliberately wet themselves in public a few times I have struggled with similar concerns, but I think that- unless you encounter an individual (or law enforcement) while obviously and deliberately wetting yourself- you have very little to worry about. 

As to whether or not men are subject to greater scrutiny for wetting in public than women, I think there is less of a societal double-standard embedded in society's view of public wetting (as opposed to other, traditional gender roles and norms) as much as a lingering "why?", with regards to anatomy: Men can unzip and let loose while (most) women must adjust (sometimes tight-fitting, restrictive) clothing and lower themselves to the ground, thus adding more stress to a desperate bladder. However, I would say that there are similar risks of indecent exposure associated with 'whipping it out' and 'popping a squat'. 

3 hours ago, mugfulloftea said:

I guess wettings just feel a lot more noticeable than they actually are.

Yes! Although we as public wetters might feel that our wet pants (and, somehow, our intention and desire to wet) are extremely obvious, we are 'competing' with a host of environmental stimuli within a general public who is more distracted than ever! Though we certainly aren't invisible, I don't think people will give a stranger's wet pants (regardless of gender) more than marginal consideration with, perhaps, tacit judgement (be it disapproval, sympathy or otherwise).

8 hours ago, Brandie said:

Ultimately if you wish to wet in public you need to find a place and time that wetting your pants will give people the opportunity to invent a reason or excuse for you

I couldn't agree more that the scenario is everything: if you wet yourself waiting in line at a bathroom; while holding it in a traffic jam on a road trip; or you had been outwardly denied the use of a bathroom (say in a classroom or meeting)- in a place where there is no other space in which to let go- then I can imagine that your plight would garner the sympathy of onlookers, regardless of your gender or secret desire to wet. 

Lastly (and somewhat solemnly I'm afraid), it goes without saying that men commit far more acts of sexual violence than women; no matter what you're doing as a male, I am resigned to the fact that we may be seen as a potential, sexual threat in the public eye. I think the only way to mitigate that unfortunate societal perception (and criminal trend) is to act respectfully and compassionately as men, especially with regards to our sexual predilections. Though we may value the thrill of public wetting, we must act accordingly so as not to cast a negative light on our community.

Edited by themerger (see edit history)
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As a few people have said, to not appear as a freak or perv, a man needs a good cover story. A guy is not expected to just lose control of himself in the a woman may perhaps be forgiven, so it needs to be convincing. However alcohol is probably the cause of the majority of adult wetting accidents before middle age, so that provides a great excuse!

I have wet myself in public on a number of occasions using drunkenness as the cover and actually found the human race surprisingly caring. I realise I will not have been leaving the best impression on those who see me, but in a world where drunken men (and women) are as likely to get into a fight or be abusive when they've drunk too much, a little bladder issue is in my experience not considered a big deal.

I am pretty certain the people who have seen & interacted with me had no idea I may have done it on purpose, and simply assumed I was what I appeared to be - a harmless guy who had drank too much & pissed himself. Loser.

The range of reactions I have had range from laughter to some very caring people (men & women) who wanted to check I was ok and able to get home safely. I have never experienced aggression or hostility towards me or my wet pants.

It's the passing comments that can sometimes be the best, such as the girl sat with some friends (mixed gender) on a train, who commented "whoops, someone's had too much to drink" to her mates as I stumbled past with a pee stain on my jeans.

Edited by aloo (see edit history)
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I feel like I can speak well on this topic. Whether, everyone views it as morale correct or not; I have purposely held it and wet in public. (I am a male). Wettings have been in pants, shorts, pull ups, and mostly very full pull ups that will leak as soon as I pee. I like to do it in front of people and make sure they know how desperate I am and that I eventually am wetting myself. The response has always been sympathetic. Whether male or female wetting, the other people feel sorry for them. They never view it as perverted or that the person is doing it on purpose. Most people either help you or remove themselves from the situation because they do not know how to handle it. Now I will say this, I never have made it seem like I am doing it on purpose. I have always been desperate and although I wet on purpose, it has been a needed relief. I am not sure how people would react if you purposely (I.e. telling them you are going to wet for fun) wet in front of them.

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I personally think there's an expectation. As the man I am expected and thus enforce myself to be the pinnacle of authority and stoicism. Take this contrast:

- Girl fresh out of the pub encounters a dead body of someone who was in the same building. She can cry, throw up, wet herself soggy, whatever.
- I exit out of the pub and encounter a dead body of someone who was in the same building. I then fully expect and have mentally trained to react as casually as possible (even if positively sweating with paranoia), even trying to provide a little bit of gallows humour like "well I did hear him say he was dying for a fresh beer".

I deliberately watch crime documentaries and actual surgeries while eating dinner and try to imagine myself being the person there with the gruesome stuff next to me. [Belly gets cut open to perform surgery] "Well they it's what's inside that counts".

...

I similarly to a few above commenters find that there is a biological advantage of being a man. Larger body can hold more urine, having a fleshy tube to piss out of at convenient moments, etcetera. Even physical pressures around the bladder somehow don't nearly work as well on me and presumably other gentlemen as they would on women (I think it's the way the bladders are arranged or something).

...

8 hours ago, AquaVitae said:

Honestly, partners and I have had such a hard time of getting anyone to actual notice the 'accident' while it's happening. There was one play partner I had that used to call it "the mission" because that's what it became.

[Mission impossible theme plays, digital text appears on screen with the current location and objective description]

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I've wet in public a few times. Occasionaly no one was in sight to witness. But other times I've walked past people in wet jeans. No reaction from any. The most convincing for me was pulling into a motorway services extremely desperate. As soon as I got out I pissed myself, I really couldn't hold it. I felt that was a plausible wetting to anyone watching. I couldn't just do it though without there being a 'scenario' involved.

But I do feel anyone would take less pity on me than if I was female.

You only have to watch lovewetting or WIP films in a public setting to see that nobody notices or reacts.

Edited by peedancer (see edit history)
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