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"Vigorous hatefucking", eh? Of the butt-slapping, hair-pulling, neck-biting, cervix-bruising, pelvis-shattering variety, I presume? I think I know a couple like that. 

If you're looking for nitpicking: The exact nature of Emma's challenge is not clear, the solution seems arbitrary. None of the individual steps were random, but what she ended up with is missing context.

I assume that the next game will involve either Emma or Cece as a soldier of fortune, or something like that. But at this point, all we have is a young Ginger who was forced to assemble a military style camo outfit, complete with combat boots and main battle rifle. Appropros of absolutely fucking nothing.

As hot as this chapter was (and seriously, if I develop carpal tunnel syndrome because of your epic, I'm sending you my medical bills), part of me goes  "Huh? I don't get it?"

Maybe that's supposed to be extra engaging and get the audience interested in the next chapter, but... we don't HAVE a next chapter yet, now do we?

Edited by randomkath (see edit history)

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26 minutes ago, randomkath said:

If you're looking for nitpicking: The exact nature of Emma's challenge is not clear, the solution seems arbitrary. None of the individual steps were random, but what she ended up with is missing context.

If I was just gonna have her finding random items, it would be just that: Random items. The equipment has a definite purpose which will be revealed in the next full chapter.

However I plan to do another mini-chapter between parts 10 and 11. No spoilers though :)

Edited by Bulge_Lover (see edit history)

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2 hours ago, Bulge_Lover said:

If I was just gonna have her finding random items, it would be just that: Random items. The equipment has a definite purpose which will be revealed in the next full chapter.

However I plan to do another mini-chapter between parts 10 and 11. No spoilers though :)

You're such a tease.

Jerk. :byebye:

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Humans!? Damn it...

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10 hours ago, Burstingtopi said:

loving the story, do you know how much longer before the next chapter?

 

Gonna be a while. Completely obsessed with Terraria and Titan Quest right now so not really writing.

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8 hours ago, Bulge_Lover said:

Gonna be a while. Completely obsessed with Terraria and Titan Quest right now so not really writing.

I don't blame you, Terraria is fucking dope. I have like 350 hours in that game lmao

Edited by jimpix123 (see edit history)

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7 hours ago, Burstingtopi said:

any updates?

Newp, not yet. Don't worry though, as I always say, the story will be completed eventually. It is on a bit of a hiatus though.

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I hate read these chapters, I know that after the end there will be a long wait :')

But OK, I definitely liked that, until now, no doubts I'd venture to say that this is the best story on the site (interactive stories I have as top 3 Lilica Quest, Faust's stories and the stories of omocomando, but it is other category )

 

If you will allow me to say, the only thing that sometimes bother me slightly in these stories and the inhuman ability to hold some girls, there are stories with more than 3 days without peeing, but in this story this is very light, I would really say Most of these girls have very plausible acting, only in this last part of Megan that's a little overdone, but most of the other scenes were plausible if a girl was really trained and determined.

 

I really found it unexpected what Kay did, but it was a very pleasant surprise, I get to see clearly the scene with Megan's eyes (maybe this middle chapter can count on a splinoff showing how things were from Kay's point of view in this challenge And her thoughts, I would like to know clearly how she make that decision to come down and personally talk to Megan and know more about this wonderful girl Kay ) 

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13 hours ago, AkenoSama said:

If you will allow me to say, the only thing that sometimes bother me slightly in these stories and the inhuman ability to hold some girls, there are stories with more than 3 days without peeing, but in this story this is very light, I would really say Most of these girls have very plausible acting, only in this last part of Megan that's a little overdone, but most of the other scenes were plausible if a girl was really trained and determined.

Trust me, I regret that. I should have come up with a lower number. But there were a few factors that caused me to push it.

1: I simply don't have much time to write this story anymore. I've started work on the sequel to my real novel and that's far more important as it, you know, sells. For money. However, I've promised multiple people multiple times not to abandon this story, so I need to wrap it up. I can't drag days out over two or three parts anymore, I need to condense it so I can get a proper ending in a reasonable amount of time. In order to get the story where I want it for said ending, I had to boost Emma's capacity by a sadly ridiculous amount.

2: I stayed within my parameters of plausibility. The largest quantity I've ever seen a real woman pee voluntarily (e.g. not a medical emergency) is 2400 ML. No human character in any of my stories will ever surpass this quantity as realism is very important to me. So no matter how absurd something seems, keep in mind that it's still based in reality, albeit the fringes of it. Emma's already-large capacity combined with a bout of adoration-fueled insanity makes it at least somewhat believable.

3: It allows for a sort of mini-chapter that I've been wanting to do since near the beginning. You'll see why and how soon enough.

4: Hate to admit this one, but the truth is I just sort of fucked up the timeline. I had all the items Emma had to collect in mind, but time in the story wasn't passing quickly enough for her to get desperate enough. I definitely wanted her to get absolutely CRITICALLY, DANGEROUSLY desperate in this chapter, and there was no proper way to fill that gap without heavily changing the whole first half of the chapter, which I didn't want to do because like I said in [1], I'm busy writing my real book. I was forced to use the "she fell asleep" time skip, and using calculations based on real biology considering the amount that she drank without any food, it came out to about 2100 ML in her bladder upon waking up. Add to this the time it took to collect the last item, I had to go higher than that.

All-in-all it's a bit of a clusterfuck. Everybody should keep in mind that this is a sort of "beta" version of this story. Once it's finished, I will be remastering the entire thing, fixing errors (Like saying Cheers is in bloody New York, my god), general storytelling mistakes like this one, and any typos I might have missed. I might even add some new content / change whole chapters, so be prepared to reread whenever that happens.

As I tell everyone, PLEASE let me know if there's anything you don't like about the story, and especially if you see any errors or typos. I need all the input I can get for when the time comes that I do create the final version.

Thank you for your comment, and thanks to all my other readers as well.

 

Edited by Bulge_Lover (see edit history)

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2 hours ago, Burstingtopi said:

coming anytime soon?

Ah man... I'd be lying if I said yes. I'm currently very busy writing a real novel. Also neck-deep in Original Sin 2.

Like I always say, I will finish the story - But it's gonna be a while.

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3 hours ago, Bulge_Lover said:

Ah man... I'd be lying if I said yes. I'm currently very busy writing a real novel. Also neck-deep in Original Sin 2.

Like I always say, I will finish the story - But it's gonna be a while.

Dont worry, real Life comes First, we all Will understand it, we just want to make sure is it still alive xD

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wonderful chapters, I'm in love with it, I do not care if it's going to take ages and ages, just do not let this work die or have an early or hasty end

#I want to know how K got through the whole Megan challenge xD

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On 31/08/2017 at 2:17 AM, Bulge_Lover said:

It allows for a sort of mini-chapter that I've been wanting to do since near the beginning. You'll see why and how soon enough.

I had understood that you would do a splinoff telling about things from Kay's perspective.

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3 hours ago, AkenoSama said:

oh god, do not scare me like this, I thought it was an update xD

Blame everyone who keeps bugging me about updates lol. I will say that it's actually towards the front of my priority list right now.

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