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Chapter 1


I landed my heavy steps against a dark asphalt that seemed to create a never ending road in front of me. Grey, tall buildings around me made myself feel small and their ominous outlook with windows without even a single sight of light made me feel uneasy. The sky was dark, only few stars were visible. 


Cold breeze caught my black, hip-long hair. I could smell the rain in air, yet it wasn't raining.  My head felt hollow and fuzzy. I couldn't remember where I was coming from or where I was heading to, but I had to keep walking forwards, like it was programmed in me. I looked behind my back and the view was exactly the same that it was in front of me - never ending road till the horizon surrounded by spooky lifeless looking buildings. I started to feel anxious, I didn't know how long I had walked and it began to feel exhausting. 


"Uhh-uh..." I heard silent moan escaping from my lips as I suddenly felt like a stone had been dropped into my stomach, making me need to pee. I wanted to stop walking, but my legs didn't stop moving. There was this invisible force that made me unable to control myself fully. I felt it's presence, it was in me, in the air. It was everywhere but yet nowhere.


Landscape hadn't changed a bit. I felt like I was walking on my place. Maybe I had died and I was in Hell. I didn't believe such places like Hell or Heaven, but being here, only walking forwards, like it was the meaning of life, made me suspect my beliefs. I felt cold rain drops stinging on my skin and I suddenly felt more awake. Something had changed. 


I started to hear some music. It wasn't coming from any particular direction; It filled everything around me and every part of my body.

 


This is a dream


Blurry images began to show up in my mind. They got more clear by every picture. It was like someone  had put photo presentation of my history in my mind.


Walking alone, but the streets were not empty
I'm leaving a trail behind of myself
Trail of bodies
Trail of blood
I see a light so bright
I'm becoming blind
Everything around me
Falls apart


I closed my eyes as the light I saw was so bright it hurt my eyes. My body became so heavy, I dropped to my knees. I felt like I was falling yet I felt the ground firmly under me. I was shaking. No. Everything else was shaking. I opened my eyes with a grain of salt. Everything I had seen few moments back around me was being cut into pieces like a fragile paper. 


I am insane
This isn't happening


Strange feeling filled me as my bladder gave in. I was rocking my body back and forth, still on all fours, slowly peeing in my panties, repeating to myself that I need to wake up.

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