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Taking a break from internet... (overcoming BPD)❀


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Ooh, I love muffins!

I just stopped by here to say that, even though I personally have never spoken with you, I've seen your posts round the forum and they always make me smile (for one reason or another. :P) 

I won't pretend to know the depths of your issue, but I do know that you're an incredible person and wish you the utmost success in overcoming this. You're stronger than it, I know you are. :) Keep the faith, madame, we believe in you. :)

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Ooh, I love muffins!

I just stopped by here to say that, even though I personally have never spoken with you, I've seen your posts round the forum and they always make me smile (for one reason or another. :P) 

I won't pretend to know the depths of your issue, but I do know that you're an incredible person and wish you the utmost success in overcoming this. You're stronger than it, I know you are. :) Keep the faith, madame, we believe in you. :)

Thank you so much, it's nice to know I make people smile (no matter the kind hehe)

No one has told me I can overcome it, it feels nice hearing it from someone other than me  :lol:

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Similarly to Foxlover, I can't really empathize since I don't have your condition, but I do know what overcoming Asperger's is like, so I understand the pain of losing friends because of things that come out of my mouth. Likewise, I'm sure you can overcome it, and I doubt you would be able to scare me away with anything that slips out of your fingers and onto the keyboard. xP

In any case, things for you to do:

- watch allll the Monty Python! Fawlty Towers too? I really like John Cleese... xD And allll the anime. Plenty to choose from on animefreak.tv. Not sure what your preferred genre is, but that's what the Internet is for. :P

- If you're going to paint for your wall, I'd personally go for something scenic. Like...the Alpine Mountains with a cabin in the foreground or perhaps a spiral galaxy...cluster of galaxies...I like astro things...

- if you like pc games, play the Deus Ex franchise! If you don't want to start with the original 1999 game because of graphics, start with Human Revolution. Pretend that Invisible War doesn't exist. xP Mankind Divided will be out soon too!

Edited by Leitmotif (see edit history)
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Some people have made me feel guilty for who I am so that's why just don't want to go online and talk to people I know. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore lol. I'm fine being by myself though! I just go to school and when I am home I just watch movies and talk on the phone with a couple of my guy friends from town :)

I am really happy, I just hate stress but now that the stress is gone I can find friends and maybe even a new love to share my stress free happy life with.

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Realistic-wise, not a lot of techniques or medication are particularly effective against BPD. I'm sure you know this.

 

However, mindful-based therapy has shown a lot of success. If you have a chance and can't afford therapy (expensive stuff and a lot of therapists won't touch BPD patients), consider this book: http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Dialectical/dp/1608825655?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_search_detailpage

 

Not trying to be a downer. Trying to say that "beating" BPD is going to be a lifelong struggle that's literally a giant pain in the ass. You definitely have it in you. But having the right "tools" to help yourself can make a huge difference.

 

I wish you luck, regardless. I'm around if you want to/need to chat.

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Realistic-wise, not a lot of techniques or medication are particularly effective against BPD. I'm sure you know this.

 

However, mindful-based therapy has shown a lot of success. If you have a chance and can't afford therapy (expensive stuff and a lot of therapists won't touch BPD patients), consider this book: http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Dialectical/dp/1608825655?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_search_detailpage

 

Not trying to be a downer. Trying to say that "beating" BPD is going to be a lifelong struggle that's literally a giant pain in the ass. You definitely have it in you. But having the right "tools" to help yourself can make a huge difference.

 

I wish you luck, regardless. I'm around if you want to/need to chat.

Yeah, that's why I've never really admitted it to anyone :/ I'm really close to beating it mostly, I just need to teach myself calmer social tactics. I am never mean, but I do get angry and time feels like it's passing very slowly when I'm in a stressful situation! But, I am a normal person! I have a lot of friends, I am not ugly or boring, and I am very positive ♡.♡

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After reading all that I feel like giving you a great big hug and tell you its going to be okay.

I don't really have much experience with BPD but my next closest thing I would say is my brother's girlfriend and her Asperger's, which, at first I found to be incredibly frustrating to deal with, but over time I learned to cope with people who have issues like this. I've acquired the ability to be more patient with people and understanding of how things can result in a lot of friction between people and that road to successful relationships is laid with understanding.

 

If you want some advice on what you can do while you are taking your hiatus, try something like board games with people such as family, if that is possible. Or, if you have some funds available to you and you don't necessarily live in some kind of rural area, try to learn a CCG. Friday night I go to my local cardshop and have a great time playing Magic the Gathering. Even if I lose every game, as long as I am having fun things are going great. I've met other people doing this who have social and anxiety issues and they've told me that coming to play card games, in a way, helps them cope or manage with their issues. I can't say for sure exactly if this is the right thing for you, but if you have a bit of money to spend or you just want to learn a bit before you do, try doing a little research before your hiatus to try and figure out if there is a card shop near you. If the people there are playing Yu-gi-oh or pokemon, try that. Or, if even not a CCG and its just board games that you have, maybe you can find some people who like that.

This is just my input and you may certainly disregard all of what I have said if you'd like.

Just trying to help.

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After reading all that I feel like giving you a great big hug and tell you its going to be okay.

I don't really have much experience with BPD but my next closest thing I would say is my brother's girlfriend and her Asperger's, which, at first I found to be incredibly frustrating to deal with, but over time I learned to cope with people who have issues like this. I've acquired the ability to be more patient with people and understanding of how things can result in a lot of friction between people and that road to successful relationships is laid with understanding.

 

If you want some advice on what you can do while you are taking your hiatus, try something like board games with people such as family, if that is possible. Or, if you have some funds available to you and you don't necessarily live in some kind of rural area, try to learn a CCG. Friday night I go to my local cardshop and have a great time playing Magic the Gathering. Even if I lose every game, as long as I am having fun things are going great. I've met other people doing this who have social and anxiety issues and they've told me that coming to play card games, in a way, helps them cope or manage with their issues. I can't say for sure exactly if this is the right thing for you, but if you have a bit of money to spend or you just want to learn a bit before you do, try doing a little research before your hiatus to try and figure out if there is a card shop near you. If the people there are playing Yu-gi-oh or pokemon, try that. Or, if even not a CCG and its just board games that you have, maybe you can find some people who like that.

This is just my input and you may certainly disregard all of what I have said if you'd like.

Just trying to help.

 

I found out recently that every Sunday, a group of people go to the bar and they all play board games and get discounts on food and such! It's a great way to make new friends and try to re-start better friendships. Also, a close friend of mine comes by every month to tour around the city and play his music, I'll be with him all week! It'll be a lot of fun, I have such a great time with him, I'm actually super excited to hang out with old friends  :lol:

 

This week I tried drawing manga girls, I've seen a lot of people draw really well and they always look so cute!

post-95235-0-37546600-1459657988_thumb.j

This is my first drawing  :happy: I'm thinking of painting one, because I'm much better at that. I really want to draw cute desperation people but I'm scared someone will see me draw this  :blush:

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♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ Hello everyone! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

 

Some of you might know me, most of you don't. I post sometimes and I've made a lot of friends on here. 

I just want to make a big post so it's easier than messaging everyone...

I struggle with BPD, if any of you don't know what it is look here: http://www.mentalhealth.com/home/dx/borderlinepersonality.html

I have ruined a lot of relationships because of this. No matter if the other is a jerk, BPD makes me 10x more of a jerk. Emotions I feel, they blast out of me and I can't shut up about everything I am thinking and panicking about. Lately, I've been through a rough patch with a heart attack, family dying, home problems, PTSD and suicidal thoughts. These problems are in the past now, this week I've overcome them. But BPD is not as easy as it hurts everyone I talk to, if only they knew about it and could just ignore me... I try so hard to make people happy because I don't want them to know BPD is a part of me, since no medication helps and there's a low chance I'll get better. I've never told anyone I have it because I try really hard to keep the people I love, but these past few months I've been so vulnerable and stressed (which makes it 10x worse) that I haven't paid much attention and I've hurt too many loved ones.

 

Anyway, I'm taking a break from the internet. Facebook, twitter, instagram, youtube, omo, literally everything. I'm not talking to anyone anymore, even friends, as I've realized it's better for them if I am alone, I'm not saying this as a mean thing. Some people stress me out too far or aren't direct enough with how they feel towards me, which BPD can take a toll if I don't calm down quick enough. I need to figure out ways to calm down easier than meditation (which has helped me a lot the past week) and teach myself to not use such sad or angry responses and thoughts so quickly. For two weeks, I'm going to completely cut myself off from the media world, except for Netflix (honestly, I need some entertainment). I won't be using my phone, or laptop unless it's video games. 

 

Although, I will check omo until April 1st, so if any of you have any suggestions please post them! 

 

Internet vacation didn't last long, did it?

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I was diagnosed as having BPD too, idk though, it doesn't seem to affect me as bad as some other people.

 

Yeah, a lot of people have it worse. I used to be really bad but I've gotten a lot better over the years. I recently joined a counseling group with people who also have BPD and we just group chat each other on an app. They helped me admit to myself and others that I have it, since it was hard to even hear this from any doctor. Every time I hear about it, it sounds like I'm such a psycho bitch. Everyone sees me as a really sweet, caring person, so I knew it couldn't be true. Reading things on the internet is harmful really, it took me 9 years to admit it because of all the negative people post about it. One of my goals was to admit it on the internet. I don't go on tumblr much anymore, I don't post anything private on facebook, and anywhere else I didn't care much about so I didn't really know how to make that goal happen. 

 

I posted about it on here to tell myself "it's out there, you can't delete it, might as well tell everyone now". Even though this is the weirdest place to admit my biggest mental health for the first time, I thought no one would really care but I'd still get the satisfaction of "hey, I actually did it" even if no one read it. But, all of you actually did read this and sent me a bunch of nice long messages. You guys don't even know who I am and you supported me anyway. I thought people would be like "why did you post that, you just look like you're looking for attention", but I honestly posted it thinking no one would read it so it didn't matter lol.

 

When I say thank you, I really mean it. This post is one of the most plot-twisted things I've done and I giggle about it sometimes :blush: 

I'll have kids someday and they'll grow up and ask me some crap about mental health and I'll be like "Kid... Therapists and such cost 300$ per hour. You gotta grab life by the balls and complain about your life on a fetish forum hentai site, that way you're just a click away to fapping again. 0$ plus relieve some of that teenage sexual frustration son."

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