Garrus 181 Posted December 2, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted December 2, 2015 Hello again, I've been having a case of chronic writer's block when it comes to some of my other stories. So I started yet another story... As a heads up, there is very little Omorashi in this first chapter, more will come later. Please let me know what you think. The Editor The funny thing about dying is, you never really expect it, at least I didn't. Even up to the last moment just before I died, I didn't actually think I would die. It can't all just end like that, right? ----- As for how I ended up as an editor, there's not much to say. It was a job, and I was poor; simple as that. I never particularly wanted to spend my days polishing the garbage my authors call a manuscript into a serviceable novel. If you asked me what I wanted to be as a kid, I'd no doubt have answered, "a football star", or something equally ridiculous, but never an editor. It wasn't all bad though, I got to meet some great people, and helping a new author publish their first book can be really rewarding, especially when they go on to be a huge hit. I was never the one in the spotlight, I never got invited on talk shows, but that was fine by me. I just cashed my checks, and enjoyed knowing that each success was something I made possible. There were failures of course, books that weren't even worth the paper they were printed on, but I learned not to dwell on those overmuch. The sound of a key in the lock roused me from my contemplation as I realized I had been staring at the same line of text for at least five minutes. I rubbed the bridge of my nose as I took a drink of my coffee. Cold. I may have zoned out for longer than I thought. I looked at the opposing wall, the early morning sunlight illuminated numerous particles of dust, hanging suspended in the air, as well as the old wooden clock that I swore to myself I would get rid of when I first moved into this office, but I never did. It was quarter after eight. She was late, not that I cared. Red was her name, or rather that's what I called her, I never really bothered when it came to names, red hair was good enough for me. She worked hard when it mattered, and the coffee was good too. The old, heavy door finally swung open as Red managed to push her way inside, an impressive feat considering she was carrying a large cup of overpriced coffee in each hand. "Morning boss." Red offered me one of the cups she was holding. "You look like hell." "Better than the alternative." I took the lid off the coffee before taking a much needed drink. "Thanks Red." "What you need is some sleep, where you here all night?" She looked worried, she always looked worried. I waved the question away as I handed her the manuscript I had been working on. There appeared to be more red pen marks on each page than black ink. "Finished." "What? Already? The deadline isn't for a week and a half." "Red looked surprised, less so than she would have when she first started working here two years prior. Twenty-two years old, fresh out of university, and woefully unprepared for adult life. "Well then you have a week to go through and make the changes." It wasn't a good book, it would sell, but it wasn't good. I was already bored with it. "Do you have anything new?" "As a matter of fact, I do." Red pulled a ring-bound manuscript from her bag and presented it to me. "I really think this could..." I stopped listening, Red always saw a best-seller in every draft we received. Turning my attention to the manuscript I began reading, red pen at the ready. Red sighed and made her way out of the room to her own office. "Standard fantasy nonsense." I was grumbling to myself as I read the document. I'm sure Red could hear me through the open doors, but she never said anything. "Of course there's a princess, there's always a princess. What's next? A secret prophecy?" Before too long, Red was back, and knocking on my open door, or it might have been long actually, I wasn't really paying attention. "Well?" Red asked expectantly. "What do you think." "It feels like it was written for a cliché contest by a high school student." "Buuut?" Red no longer took my harsh criticisms seriously, I guess she knew if it was actually that bad I would have trashed it long since. "But, it's better than a lot of the trash that gets published these days. It's at least worth the time to make it readable, so we'll take it. Let the author know." "Yay!" Red danced in a little circle. Why was she so happy? Maybe this is the first time I actually accepted one of her suggestions, who knows. "How about you take the lead on this one?" As soon as I suggested it, those bright blue eyes lit up excitedly. Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this. "Are you serious? Can I really?" Red grabbed one of my hands in both of hers. "Sure why not, if you think you can manage your other work as well." I tried to free my hand, but her hands were like a vice. "Yes! Thank you. You definitely won't regret this." Red released my hand in favor of a hug, made awkward by the fact I was still sitting, but she did not seem to mind. I guess this was a big deal for her. I gently patted her back, trying to signal that she should let go now, which she finally did, straightening back up with a face flushed from excitement. "Let's go to lunch." Red suggested excitedly. Was it time for lunch already? I glanced at the clock, quarter till one. "Yeah, okay." I stood and stretched both arms toward the ceiling. I had been sitting for too long. Red quickly collected her bag and stood by the door as I put my jacket on. I looked at my reflection in mirror, I didn't look bad for having stayed up all night working. My brown eyes might have been a bit more bloodshot than usual, and my short black hair was sticking up in the back, but that was nothing new. Red held the door open for me as I left the building and descended the three stone steps directly in front of the door. I waited for Red to lock the door and climb down the steps before turning left towards the sandwich shop that was right at the corner next to our office. "Wait." Red grabbed my hand and stopped me. "I thought we could try someplace new today. It's this way" She pulled my hand, leading me to the right. "Hmm, okay." I followed her. "What kind of place is it?" "You'll see, it's not too far." Red was still holding my hand as we walked side by side with no apparent intention of letting go. She stared fixedly ahead, ignoring my curious gaze, blushing all the while. This was a development I didn't foresee, I never noticed any prior indications of romantic affection coming from Red. Even if I am a bit oblivious sometimes, I thought I would have noticed something. I can tell when an author is introducing a love interest character in a novel just from the adjectives that are used, but I guess I'm not as experienced at recognizing cues in the real world. I assumed that given the five year age gap, and the lack of action on my part in the past two years, Red would either not be interested in me, or have long since given up on me. She was young and beautiful, I was honestly surprised she didn't already have a boyfriend. "What is it?" Red asked. I had been staring at her the whole time I was thinking. "Oh, I was just thinking about how pretty you are." I answered honestly, without thinking. I had to stop myself from wincing. There wasn't anything inherently wrong with complementing her, but if we were to become involved romantically, it could cause problems for our work relationship. Not to mention I sounded like some clichéd hero from a fantasy novel. "Th-Thank you." Red blushed even harder and faced forward. Her hand tightened down on mine even harder. Where did she get all this finger strength? After a couple minutes of walking, Red stopped in front of a small Italian restaurant. "Here we are. I heard about this place from a friend, she recommended it to me." I followed Red inside, and we took a seat at a booth in the corner. After we had both ordered our food, a sandwich for me, and soup for Red, we both drank our water and made small talk. Red seemed nervous, I could hear her foot tapping under the table, and the table was narrow enough, her knee would brush against my leg occasionally. As we talked, the topic eventually turned to the manuscript Red had brought me this morning. "It's not a bad story, but the title is just awful." I said. "What? I liked it, I thought it was clever. Hero Reincarnate. It's a play on 'hero incarnate.'" "I get what it's trying to do, but there's no point in trying to build tension with the hero's apparent death, if you're going to put 'reincarnation' right there in the title. It's idiotic. I don't know how the author thought that was a good idea." "Hmm, I guess you might be right." Red drank more water as she looked around the small restaurant. When her eyes fell upon two doors in the back of the room, she stood up. "I'll be right back." I watched Red make her way to the bathroom, noticing how well her blue jeans hugged her shapely bottom. Not that I had never noticed her nice figure before, but after her unusually aggressive actions today, I couldn't help but admire her body. The food seemed to be taking an unusually long time to be ready. I turned and looked towards the kitchen when I saw a rather large man with a rather large knife standing at the cash register with the waitress. Any hope that this man was simply a cook were dashed by the black ski mask the man was wearing. A robbery was in progress and this seemed like a good time to keep my head down and remain unnoticed. A loud, feminine scream tore through the relative quiet of the restaurant. Red. I was out of my seat and halfway towards the bathrooms before I even considered what I was doing. A second man in a black mask emerged from the restroom, with an arm wrapped around Red's neck. I'm not entirely sure why he was in the ladies' room, but I wasn't terribly interested at that moment. "Let go of me!" Red struggled fruitlessly, until the man showed her a knife. She stopped moving, her eyes wide in fear. "Red!" I found myself moving forwards, until the man holding her brandished the knife at me. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing. Stay back." I stopped moving and raised my unarmed hands. "Just, let her go." "What are you a fucking hero? Sit the hell down, before I cut this bitch's throat." He placed the knife against Red's throat. "Ah" Red gasped in fear. Her bladder couldn't take it anymore and a stream of pee poured down her legs and puddled on the floor. "What the FUCK." The robber cried in disgust and pushed Red at me. I caught her as she collapsed, crying. "What's the hold up? You got the fucking money?" he yelled at his masked partner. "Yeah I got it." The man at the cash register held up a bag, no doubt filled with the restaurants earnings. "Well then lets go man." "What about their wallets and shit?" One of the masked men glanced around at the cowering customers. "Fuck that. What about the cops? We gotta get out of here." "Yeah alright, let's go." The two men left the restaurant and took off running. I was still comforting the understandably upset Red. She had stopped crying, but she was still shaken, and her wet clothes weren't helping. I helped Red to her feet. "Come on, let's go. I'll take you home." In this situation, we were probably supposed to wait for the police, so we could give a statement, but I decided it would be best to get Red home as soon as possible. Her mental state wouldn't be helped by answering a bunch of police questions. I left ten dollars on the table, which was generous considering we never got our food, but I felt bad considering the restaurant had been robbed. "Okay." Red's voice was quiet as I half carried her out the door. We walked in silence for a minute, before Red spoke again. "Thank you." "It's no problem, really. Let's just put it all behind us." I heard shouting and sirens ahead of us. As I looked, I could see police chasing one of the masked robbers. It appeared as though they had already apprehended one of the men, and cops were chasing the other one, directly towards Red and me. They were moving quickly, by the time I had realized what the situation was the men were nearly on top of us. We had to move, and quickly. It didn't seem like Red had fully grasped what was happening, so I grabbed her, spun and pressed her against the wall barely out of the path of the oncoming men. The robber passed so close behind me I could feel heat along my back as he sprinted by. I heard the man swear as he stumbled and fell to the ground, where he was quickly covered by one of the pursuing police officers. "Are you okay?" I asked Red, she had collapsed to the ground, where she sat holding her knees. I sat down next to her, leaning against the wall. My back still felt warm. Frowning, I reached back with my hand. My jacket and shirt had been torn, and when I brought my hand back I could see it was stained red. Red screamed. I couldn't blame her. One of the police officers was yelling about an ambulance into a radio. Who runs from the cops while holding a knife in your hand. It seems like it's just asking to accidentally stab yourself while sprinting. I tried to say as much to Red, but I coughed as soon as I opened my mouth. Blood, that can't be a good sign. I realized Red had been saying something, was she calling my name? I couldn't seem to quite make out what she's saying. I don't know exactly when I started lying down, but I was definitely on my back now, Red was kneeling over me. "You're going to be okay, the ambulance is almost here." Red was crying again. She always looked so worried, it'd be nice if I could see her smile again. I grabbed her hand, I forgot my hand is covered in blood, but she didn't seem to mind. "I'm sorry..." I coughed again, it was getting harder to speak. "I couldn't be your hero." Oh man, I just said something incredibly clichéd, didn't I? Red was saying something again, but I couldn't make out any words. My vision was becoming hazy. I tried to say something but I couldn't seem to form any words, so I just smiled reassuringly at Red. My vision faded as I lost consciousness. I could feel my life slipping away as my body died. At least I assume that's what I was feeling, dying was an entirely novel experience. satyr, tevoka, Meta4 and 11 others 14 Quote Link to comment
guest 172 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Nice pun at the end. Cant wait to read more"! Quote Link to comment
Rinatro 190 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I actually liked this, The two characters seem believable. Can't wait to read more :) Quote Link to comment
Melificentfan 1,215 Posted December 2, 2015 ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted December 2, 2015 That was very Awsome Quote Link to comment
Garrus 181 Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 I actually liked this, The two characters seem believable. Can't wait to read more :) Thanks. I was trying out a different style of writing. I'm not displeased with how it turned out. Nice pun at the end. Cant wait to read more"! Haha thanks, I couldn't resist. Quote Link to comment
Garrus 181 Posted December 3, 2015 Author Popular Post Share Posted December 3, 2015 Part 2. I hope you like it. More omorashi than the last chapter, but still not too much. Now that I've got the premise and introduction out of the way, the content should heat up. Chapter 2 Being dead wasn't as bad as I had been led to believe. It wasn't particularly good either, but I wasn't really in a position to complain. I was still thinking, so I had to imagine I still existed, but that was about as much as I could tell. As far as I could tell, I didn't seem to have a body, nor any way to see where or what I was. I simply was. Who knows how long I was like that, it could have been five minutes or five years. Time seemed to pass independent of my existence. I suddenly became aware of another existence, I don't know how I knew it was there, I could just tell. This new being completely engulfed my existence, and everything went dark. Previously, I hadn't thought it had been light, but now that it was dark I missed the light. I couldn't help but wonder if I was dying again. Would I stop existing soon? If so, I guess there wouldn't be much I could do. All of a sudden, I was back. I wasn't alive, as far as I could tell, but I at least had a body, and I could see. The first thing I saw was a strange man(?) whose face seemed to be obscured by a plain white mask. Was this the entity I had sensed earlier? It felt like the man was staring at me, but it was hard to tell, there were no holes in the mask for eyes. Could he not see? "Noisy." The man spoke. Although I never heard a voice, his words simply existed, like his thoughts were made manifest. "I forgot how noisy young souls were." "..." I tried to speak, to make a sound, but I could not. "Of course, I did not truly forget, how could I? My words were simply meant to appeal to your humanity." The man continued, voicelessly. What is he talking about? Any decent editor would have cut out such a confusing scene. "Always an editor, even in death. Well, this was to be expected. Anyway, [speak] it will make this go faster." I felt my throat burn, and I coughed. I felt immenesly relieved at the sound. It was the first sound I had heard since I had died. "What is going on?" As long as I could speak, I figured I might as well try and figure out what the situation was. "I am bored." The man said without words. Before I could say anything, he continued. "And you are interesting, or at least, I hope you will be." "Who are you?" I asked, not certain if I wanted to know the answer. "Who do you think I am?" The man seemed to grow in size as he asked the question. "Well, If I had to guess. I assume I'm either hallucinating or dead. In the first case, you would be me, or some part of me. If it's the second, I guess that would make you god." "Ho ho, not exactly, but not too far off either." It felt like the man was smiling behind his mask. It was an unsettling feeling that I wished would go away. "Now, tell me." In the blink of an eye, not that I seemed to blink anymore, the man was close enough to touch, not that I had any desire to touch him. "How would you like to be a hero?" Startled by the sudden question, it took a moment for me to process what he had just said. "A hero? What...do you mean?" "Oh c'mon. You know. A hero. Rescue the princess, save the world and all that. A character from one of those books you're always reading." The man seemed more animated now, but I still had no idea what was going on. "I'd rather not, I don't think I'm cut out to be a hero." Strange memories flashed before my eyes, but I couldn't seem to focus on any one of them. I remembered the color red. Someone I had tried to protect. A sharp pain across my back brought me back to the present. "I'm no hero." "Aw well, I suppose that would have been too easy. But tell me, if you're not a hero, then who are you?" Who was I? There was a name, my name, but I couldn't remember what it was. I couldn't really remember anything. Well, there was one thing, the only thing that came to mind. "I'm an editor." "So you are." the man sounded angry, or was it happy, it was really hard to tell without a voice. "Well then, it's about time for you to go." "Go where?" If I was dead did that mean I was going to heaven or hell? But then what was the point of all the questions? Maybe it was a test, to determine where I would end up. "Like I said, you're interesting. I have a special plan for you. Call it a hobby, or a pet project, if you will. Let me know what you think, if we ever meet again. Although for your sake, let's hope we don't. Laughter was all I could hear, as everything around me faded into nothingness. I screamed as pain wracked my entire body. A light appeared. That light grew until it surrounded me, blinding me. ------- I found myself lying on my back. The pain had faded, and the light was not completely blinding anymore. I tried to look around, to see where I was, but I found that I couldn't move my head, or any part of my body for that matter. As I was suppressing the rising panic of being apparently paralyzed, I noticed something on the edge of my field of vision. I tried to make out what it was, but as soon as I focused on it, something appeared out of nowhere, right in front of my face. It looked like a computer screen, only it was translucent, and seemingly floating in mid air. I must be going crazy, but I guess it's better than being dead. staring at the screen I found I started to read. Name: Kyler Sol Title: The Editor Well I'm pretty sure that's not my name, or it wasn't before I died anyway. But I can't argue with the title. Age: 1 What? No no nono. There's no way that's right. What the hell is going on here? A voice catches my attention, I can't understand what it's saying. It doesn't sound like any language I know. A woman leans over where I'm lying. She picks me up like it's nothing. I was never really heavy, but this woman who looks ten years younger than me shouldn't be able to pick me up like it's nothing. She says something to me but I still can't understand. That son of a...That wannabe 'god' reincarnated me as a baby. Well I guess it beats being dead...but still, these next few years are going to be rough, aren't they? ----- I can't say living as a baby was particularly enjoyable. Getting breast fed wasn't terrible, but it's hard to enjoy a nice pair of boobs when I knew they belonged to the woman who gave birth to me. She didn't really feel like my mother I guess, it's hard getting used to this reincarnation thing, especially when I can remember my old life fairly clearly. I probably would have been bored out of my mind by not being able to move around on my own, but I found there was plenty to learn and experiment with on my fancy new heads up display. I had discovered I could bring up the screen any time, with just a thought, and based on the fact that neither of my parents seemed to react to it, I was the only one who could see it. It said 'Status' at the top, and it listed my new name and a number of attributes: Vitality, Strength, Dexterity, even Magic. Seriously, it's just like a game. What was that guy thinking? It seemed like that masked god reincarnated me with some riduculous ability. All my stats are really low, in the single digits, but I'm sure that's to be expected. The next few days passed quickly, my parents were always feeding or playing with me, and I slept an awful lot, or at least I tried to. More often than not, when my parents put me to bed, they would get busy trying to make me a sibling. Honestly, I get that you must have been holding back during the pregnancy, but show some restraint Father, I'm sleeping here. ---- It's been a month already, and I'm starting to get used to my new life. My body is growing quickly, and some of my stats have increased with it. I'm starting to pick up on a few words my parents are saying. It seems like my name really is Kyler, oh well, it's not a bad name. I still can't speak, I can only make simple sounds, but my parents still get really happy whenever I do. It seems like my parents are Lili and Jars, at least that's they seem to call each other, my language skills are pretty much nonexistent still. Speaking of skills. I made a huge discovery. I thought it was just the status screen, but I found out there's a whole other window. The Editor Window. From what I could tell this new screen let me see and edit my stats and abilities. Seriously? What is with this broken ability? This isn't really what I meant when I said I was an editor. ----- I tried playing around with my stats, when I increased my strength and agility, I certainly felt stronger and faster. But when I tried increasing it further I got a warning saying I was exceeding my bodies capabilities, and that damage could occur. I guess it's not completely overpowered, but it still feels unfair. Next, I found language under my skills section. It was at five out of one hundred. As far as I could tell there wasn't anything stopping me from changing it. So I increased the skill all the way up to one hundred, if there were any consequences I could deal with them later. It was a strange sensation, learning an entire language in an instant. I still couldn't speak when I tried, I guess that was a body limitation, not a skill. If I tried, I might be able to edit my body as well, but I thought it would be safer to let my body grow naturally. There was no need to be impatient. "Jars, please hurry up." Lili whined. Hey, I could understand that. This editor ability was way too handy. But more importantly, what is going on with my parents now? "Ma..." When I made noise Lili came over and picked me up. Rocking me back and forth in her arms. She was obviously uncomfortable, and based on the fact that she was crossing and uncrossing her legs right in front on our one bathroom, I could easily imagine what the problem was. Lili was bending over at the waist while speaking through the door. "Ohhhh, Jars, I can't hold it much longer." There was only one bathroom in our small house, more like a cabin really, there wasn't even electricity. What kind of backwards country am I in? "Just a minute Lili." Jars was speaking through the locked door. Both of my parents were so young, I guess they were still uncomfortable enough to lock the door when they used the bathroom. But Lili seemed to have overcome some of that awkwardness in her desperation. Staring at my mom, I noticed a new symbol just on the edge of my vision. I hadn't seen it before, or at least I had never noticed it. Focusing on it brought up my editor menu once more. This time; however, it did not display my stats, but my Lili's. Name: Lili Sol Title: None Age: 20 No way. I can edit other people as well? Who thought this would be a good idea? My attention was caught by a blinking red triangle, which brought up a body diagram, with the abdomen, or rather the bladder, highlighted in red. Capacity: 650/700 Warning: Nearing capacity will cause discomfort and pain Well that's nothing I didn't already know. I'm not sure what to do, or if I even should do anything. I could probably increase her bladder capacity, but I don't think I should go around fiddling with other people's bodies like that. I might be able to decrease the amount of pee, but decreasing it might just mean making her let that much out. Before I could consider the situation any further, it resolved itself without my intervention. "Nooo. I can't hold it." Lili froze, biting her lip. "It's coming out." From my position in her arms, I couldn't see what was happening, but I could plainly hear the splashing on the floor, and I watched the menu as her capacity dropped all the way down to zero. I'm sure her cloth pants were well and truly soaked by now. Lili layed me down in my bed and stripped out of her now soaked pants. Before she could find new, dry pants, Jars emerged from the bathroom. Carefully stepping over the puddle just outside the door, he grabbed Lili and kissed her, eliciting a surprised gasp from her. In short order, Jars had pushed Lili down on their bed and the two were getting amorous. Far from resisting, Lili seemed to welcome the affection. Come on, at least take a shower first, a bath, anything? I wasn't spying on them, I was already here when they started going at it, and besides, I was just trying out the new functionality of my Editor abilities. Viewing Lili's window, I saw a new stat that was slowly increasing. Pleasure: 57/100 As a test, and because I felt bad that she wet herself, I tried bumping up the pleasure number a couple dozen points. The effect was immediately heard in the voice Lili was letting out. When the stat was maxed out, she gave a small shriek. I noticed the bladder capacity meter, which had refilled up to forty out of seven hundred, reset to zero, but neither Jars nor Lili seemed to mind. When the two finally stopped, I couldn't help but wonder if increasing the pleasure Lili felt after she had just wet her pants might reinforce strange behavior. I didn't worry too much. What's the worst that could happen? TheGreatNobody, Varys, herrokitty and 9 others 12 Quote Link to comment
Melificentfan 1,215 Posted December 3, 2015 ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted December 3, 2015 This is getting so very good Quote Link to comment
blooper 611 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Well this is interesting. Leading with a redhead fear wetting is an excellent way to hook me :X Wish there was messing as well but probably not your thing. Nice job, regardless. Garrus 1 Quote Link to comment
OmoJack 95 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 This is very good Quote Link to comment
Axe Man 31 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 That was great! Please continue. Quote Link to comment
Garrus 181 Posted December 3, 2015 Author Share Posted December 3, 2015 That was great! Please continue. Thank you, I plan on it. Well this is interesting. Leading with a redhead fear wetting is an excellent way to hook me :X Wish there was messing as well but probably not your thing. Nice job, regardless. Yeah, if I include any messing it would likely be pretty tame. But thanks for the feedback This is very good Thanks. If anyone wants to give some feedback on where they think the story should go, or what they'd like to see. I'd be glad to read it. Quote Link to comment
Subaru 206 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 love it. please continue. Quote Link to comment
Axe Man 31 Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Just my two cents here. If he is able to edit both himself and the world around him, why not make him some sort of Wunderkind, but all secret like? Quote Link to comment
Garrus 181 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 Just my two cents here. If he is able to edit both himself and the world around him, why not make him some sort of Wunderkind, but all secret like? I had to google what a 'Wunderkind' is, but yes there is definitely a plan for something along those lines. New chapter should be out later tonight, it's almost complete. Quote Link to comment
Garrus 181 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Popular Post Share Posted December 4, 2015 (edited) Chapter 3 Status Skills Name: Kyler Sol Language: 100/100 Title: The Editor Speaking: 5/100 Age: 1 Crawling: 23/100 HP: 15/15 MP: 1/1 Vit: 11 Str: 8 Def: 4 Res: 3 Dex: 9 Agi: 5 Int: 15 Mag: 1 Equipment: None ----- Well It's been about six months I think. It can be tough to keep track of the date with out a calendar, or even a phone. At least I'm finally able to crawl around a bit. Not that there's much to explore. My new parents and I lived in a small wooden house, and from what I could tell it's way out in the country. Whenever Lili would hold me by the window I couldn't even see one other house. It would get to be terribly boring sometimes. I mostly occupied myself by experimenting with my stats, and seeing what I could edit. Early on I decided to reset my stats to their natural value, or close enough anyway, once I was done playing around. I didn't want to accidentally screw up my developmental biology or something. The stat that I was most interested in was Magic, but whenever I tried to increase it I would get the same old warning message, that would say my body was not well suited to the stat change. It was the same with MP, magic power, I wondered if there's some sort of prerequisite to be able to use magic. Why couldn't this new life have come with a user manual? My new father, Jars, would usually leave early in the morning, and not return until after the sun had set. From listening to his conversations with Lili, it seemed that he was some sort of guard. His stats certainly suited that sort of work. His Strength and Defense were both over 80, but his Intelligence was only 45. Ho oh, don't be surprised if I'm smarter the smarter one before you know it Father. I still didn't really understand how the stats were calculated. Surely I was smarter than an infant in my previous life, and since I retained my memories of that time, surely I kept my intelligence as well. Perhaps that was why Intelligence was my highest stat? Lili, on the other hand, seemed to be the opposite of Jars. Her physical stats were all pretty low, but what I was focused on was her Magic. Where Jars had less than 20 Magic, Lili had a whopping 72, and her MP was over 100. Her Intelligence was also higher than Jars, but I didn't know if that was related to using magic, or just because she was smarter than he was. Whatever the case, I desperately wanted to ask her about it. Could she actually use magic? How was that possible? Several times, I was sorely tempted to use [Editor] to increase my [speaking] skill just so I could talk to her. It would make things easier, but it would probably cause more problems than it was worth. Best case scenario I would likely be researched as a 'genius baby', worst case would involve me being killed for being a demon. That's also why I didn't max out my [Crawling] skill. The less I resembled anything from a horror movie, the better. I was content to simply wait and let my parents be amazed at how fast I learned to speak, once they started teaching me for real. "Kyler, where did you run off too?" Lili had just noticed that I had crawled away from where she had left me on the floor. I had managed to get a hold of one of the few books this house contained. My mission today was to learn how to read. I had scarcely opened the book when I was effortlessly lifted off the ground. "Come here you, I think you still have a couple years before you'll be reading, you silly boy." Lili sat me on her lap and opened the book in front of us. She helped me turn the pages while we pretended to read. This was fine by me, as I was trying to decipher the foreign characters I kept an eye on my skills list. Sure enough, before long a new skill appeared, [Reading]. Although my proficiency was at 1, I quickly raised it to 100. I could read! No matter how many times I used it, I couldn't get over just how useful this ability was. I would have to pay close attention, so as to not become lazy in this new life. Staring at the words on the pages I was delighted to find that I could read this language as well, or even better, than English. I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that this book was some sort of magic instruction book. Now I would just need to read it from the beginning, and maybe I could learn the secret to Magic. It didn't appear as though Lili was planning on letting me escape from her lap anytime soon. I was frustrated, I had possibly just discovered the means to answer one of the biggest questions I had faced since my resurrection, but I was trapped. Who knew how long it would be before I would have access to this book again. I needed to do something, so I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I opened my Editor window, and with just a few thoughts, I opened Lili's display. Just as I had a few months ago, I brought up Lili's bladder capacity. She was currently at 200/700, but I edited that value. 600/700. Once she went to the bathroom I would have enough time to read the book quickly. "Ohhhh" Lili moaned softly, I suppose she suddenly felt her bladder fill up. Any second now, she would get up and go. Huh? No? Lili crossed her legs and squirmed her butt down into the chair, but she didn't get up. I guess she didn't want to interrupt our bonding time...How about 620/700? 650? I filled her bladder a bit more, and heard the sharp intake of breath as Lili gasped. She must have been absolutely desperate by now but she still didn't get up. You silly girl. Just go already. I'll be here when you get back. Lili was bouncing her knees up and down, somehow still holding on. Oi, oi. I'm on your lap you know? Stop bouncing and just go already. If you wet yourself on the chair you can't just blame it on me. Her bladder was at 690/700 now. I hadn't filled it anymore, so I supposed her own body had managed that. I saw the numbers drop down by 5. Oops, I guess she leaked. Sure enough, Lili finally stood up, setting me on the floor, and turning to set the book on the chair. There was a wet spot the size of a quarter on her butt; it doubled in size as pressed one hand between her legs and rushed to the bathroom. Finally. I managed to pull the book down off the chair. Scanning quickly through the opening chapter I found what I was looking for. Talented individuals manifest their Magic abilities around five years of age. It is recommended to begin training shortly thereafter. That was all I needed to know. It was a bit disappointing to learn I wouldn't be able to use Magic for a few years yet, but at least there wasn't some trick to it that I was missing. Come to think of it, there was something that had been biting at the back of my mind for a while now, but I had just realized what it was. I had been reincarnated to some sort of world with Magic. There was no way I was back on Earth. Just where the heck was I? Lili returned from the bathroom with a flushed face, looking relieved. She smiled when she saw me playing with the book again, but it didn't stop her from picking me up and taking me to my bed for a nap. While she worked on raising her [self Pleasure] skill. Just what is with this pervy woman? Another short chapter. I'm mostly trying to stay on top of this story so it doesn't end up getting dropped like some of my others. Let me know what you think. Edited December 4, 2015 by Garrus (see edit history) WaityKaty, TheGreatNobody, Meta4 and 7 others 10 Quote Link to comment
Melificentfan 1,215 Posted December 4, 2015 ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted December 4, 2015 Keep going it's so very good Quote Link to comment
Rinatro 190 Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 You're doing a good job so far. That said, since you were asking for feedback, I figured I would mention that it might be nice if you could go into a little more detail on the surroundings around Kyler. For example, since Kyler kept his knowledge of his previous live, maybe if he made comparisons in the form of say fashion choices or from the perspective of does it look to him like medieval times, or is there some trace of a modern society. Even better, maybe instead of keeping this inside of his house for the next few parts, maybe we have them go into the nearest settlement, village, town or city (if there is on). Maybe we find out what his father does. Maybe have a part of them going shopping and he becomes a mischievous baby. Just some examples. Love the story though, keep up the good work! Garrus 1 Quote Link to comment
Garrus 181 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 You're doing a good job so far. That said, since you were asking for feedback, I figured I would mention that it might be nice if you could go into a little more detail on the surroundings around Kyler. For example, since Kyler kept his knowledge of his previous live, maybe if he made comparisons in the form of say fashion choices or from the perspective of does it look to him like medieval times, or is there some trace of a modern society. Yeah I'll definitely try to work on that. I was still trying to decide what I wanted the setting to be exactly, so I've been putting it off. Even better, maybe instead of keeping this inside of his house for the next few parts, maybe we have them go into the nearest settlement, village, town or city (if there is on). Maybe we find out what his father does. Maybe have a part of them going shopping and he becomes a mischievous baby. Just some examples. Love the story though, keep up the good work! I'm definitely planning on branching out from the house in the next chapters. Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you like the story. Varys 1 Quote Link to comment
Ghostofomopast 2 Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Good story so far, look forward to your next chapter(s) Quote Link to comment
Karageth2 66 Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Duuuude, this is neat story. Even disregarding the appeal of the fact it's omorashi, the premise is interesting on its own, i would read it regardless. Great work, can't wait for the next installment! Garrus 1 Quote Link to comment
WaityKaty 1,171 Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 I'm super keen on the ideas in this story. Beautifully innovative! Garrus 1 Quote Link to comment
Garrus 181 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Popular Post Share Posted December 9, 2015 Chapter 4 Status Skills Name: Kyler Sol Language: 100/100 Title: The Editor Speaking: 100/100 Age: 2 Crawling: 100/100 HP: 35/35 Reading: 100/100 MP: 1/1 Walking: 83/100 STA: 30/30 Toilet Training: 100/100 Vit: 19 End: 17 Str: 18 Def: 14 Res: 13 Dex: 20 Agi: 22 Int: 43 Mag: 1 Equipment: None ---- It's fascinating to see how quickly my mind has acclimated to this new body and this new world. Although the memories were still there, I found myself thinking about my old life less and less. Perhaps I had come to terms with my new life, and I was eager to experience everything it had to offer, or at the very least I was enjoying the change of pace until the other shoe dropped. The days and months had passed quickly, and before I knew it I was already two years old. I might not have even noticed if my status screen hadn't updated. I wonder how many days are in a year in this world? I hadn't really been expecting a party or anything, but my parents didn't even mention it. I was curious, so I asked Lili how old I was. She explained that people don't start counting birthdays until after their Magic awakens, and then the day it happens is considered their birthday, instead of the actual day they were born. To make it even more confusing, someone who just got their Magic is considered five years old, because that's around the time when most people Awaken. By the way, in this world, you become an adult at 15 years old. Based on their status screens, Lili is 19 and Jars is 20. Even if 15 is considered an adult, having a baby at 17 just seems too young. Please have some consideration for your body. Even if I had been in this world for two years already, I had tried to make sure that time wasn't wasted. Once I had manually raised my crawling skill above 70, I just maxed it out with Editor, and moved on to walking. I decided to raise the skill naturally because I figured the movement would help strengthen my body; however, once I finally got the toilet training skill I had no such notions. I immediately raised that skill as high as it would go. I had spent enough time in diapers for two lifetimes. My parents didn't seem to question my quick mastery, they must have been as thrilled as I was to be done with diapers. Although they were called diapers, they weren't much more than thicker and slightly more absorbent underwear. Once I confirmed that training my body not only increased my stats, but also increased the maximum level I could raise them with Editing, I set to work. I soon discovered that running around was a good way to raise my Agility, and my efforts paid off more than I ever expected when two new stats appeared. Endurance and Stamina, I had no idea it was possible to obtain new stats, but I was glad to learn. Whenever Endurance increased, Stamina was increased as well. The Stamina bar drained whenever I exerted myself, the rate depended on how heavy the exertion was. Anytime my Stamina fell below half I would begin to feel tired, and that was usually when I would take a break. I continued training nearly everyday, and soon, all my stats were increasing nicely, except Magic, which stubbornly remained at 1. I tried to make sure to train at least one skill everyday, and I was pleased with the results. Some skills, like Vitality and Defense, seemed to increase naturally as I grew, because I didn't exactly know how to train them, outside of using my Editor ability. I hadn't met any other children my age, so I had no confirmation, but I felt like my skills were abnormally high for my age. I could only really compare myself to my parents, but if the rate of increase stayed the same, I would match my parents' stats within a few years. No doubt thanks in part to my overpowered Editing. Now that I could walk well on my own, I was finally ready to go out and see the world, or at least the closest town. I had been able to play just outside the house, in an area that resembled farmland, but the only times I had gone to the nearby town was in my mother's arms. So I had not been able to see much of anything or anyone. So when Lili told me we would be going into town to shop for a birthday present for Jars, I was ecstatic. "Are you ready Ky?" Lili asked me as she slipped her boots over her feet. "Yep." I had been cooped up in this house long enough. The closest town, Ronoa, was about a 30 minute walk, or so I had been told. "Do you need to use the potty before we go? It's a long walk." "Nope." Do you? I almost said it out loud. Lili had probably had more accidents than I had, at least since I got the Toilet Training skill, but there's no point in bringing that up now. She had now way of knowing I was older than her, in a manner of speaking. "Okay then, let's go!" Lili enthusiastically took my hand and we began our journey. The sun was brightly shining on a still cool spring morning. Birds whose names I had not yet learned, nested in unfamiliar looking trees. It was unfortunate that cars did not seem to exist in this world, as it would make for a much longer trip without them, but getting to experience nature wasn't bad at all. Following a well worn walking path, Lili and I made our way to the main road that ran past our house. Occasional weeds were sprouting from the packed dirt road, giving the whole thing an unused feel, but two ruts indicated that carriages came through this way at least semi-regularly. We chatted back and forth as we walked. I was sometimes paranoid of speaking too fluently for a two year old, so I would occasionally use imprecise grammar or vocabulary. It was probably unnecessary, because even when I would sometimes say something strange for my age, my parents would never comment on it. After twenty minutes of walking my stamina was about half gone. I had begun to breath heavily and was lagging a step behind Lili. Isn't this distance a bit much for such a young child? What would Lili have done if my stats were not so high? From my new position I couldn't help but admire the figure of the young woman in front of me. She was my mother, so it was an entirely scientific admiration. A well kept figure was not entirely obscured by the loose clothing of this world. Lili was wearing light blue trousers, secured with a drawstring around the waist. Perhaps they were quite fashionable, I had no idea how common dyes were in this world, but wouldn't a dress be more fitting for this fantasy setting? While not quite baggy, the rough spun cloth of this world was a far cry from some of the smooth, tight fitting clothes worn by women in the old world. Fare thee well, yoga pants. Noticing that I had fallen slightly behind, Lili slowed down to walk beside me. "Are you tired Ky? I can carry you, it's not much further." "No, I'm okay." This would be good training for my body, and besides, I wanted to try something new. Referring to my status screen, I selected my stamina, which was currently at 14/30, and I tried Editing it. Normally I could increase the maximum value, up to a certain point, but this time I tried increasing the current amount. 30/30. It worked. Renewed strength filled my body as my energy was restored. I really shouldn't be surprised anymore, but this ability is just too much. Lili looked surprised at my answer, but she didn't say anything more about it as we continued toward Ronoa. As we continued to walk, I began to feel weary. Although my stamina was still high, and my body felt fine, my mind didn't want my body to walk anymore. It seemed like my ability didn't get rid of mental fatigue. Oh well, we were almost there by now, I could last a little while longer. "There it is!" I called out excitedly as we crested a hill, bringing the town into view. I actually called out, just like a kid, but I supposed there wasn't anything wrong with acting my new age once and a while. Childish antics aside, this was my first real trip to this town, it was my first real experience outside of the small house. I was excited to see how this world was different from the one I had known. I could see a sturdy looking wall surrounding the town. It appeared to be made of stone, and stood five meters high. From my position on the hill, slanted wooden roofs could be seen covering numerous buildings. It was much larger than I expected, more of a city than a town really. Beyond the smaller shops and houses, an antique, or perhaps modern in this world, steepled church stood, it's dual spires rising high above the town. Overshadowing everything, both figuratively and literally, was the castle. Enormous compared to every other structure I had yet seen in this world, the imposing building stood like a fortress on a hill above the rest of the city. Hewn from dark stone, the castle looked like something straight out of a fairy tale. Seeing my awed look, Lili smiled and told me that the castle was home to Duke Rowen, the ruler of this territory. Due to the sheer size, I wouldn't have been surprised if she said a king lived there, although with nothing to compare it to, it was always possible this castle was considered small, as far as castles were concerned. "Your father should be there now. He's one of the duke's personal guards after all." "Really?" Based on my families standard of living, I knew we weren't poor, but I didn't expect Jars to work for such an important person. "Did you know we almost decided to live there, in the castle?" Lili asked, and I couldn't keep the surprise out of my face, or my voice. "What?" "When he learned we were going to have a baby, the Duke invited your father and me to move into one of the servants rooms in the castle. That way your father wouldn't have to walk so far everyday, and he could spend more time with us." "But you said no?" I wasn't sure what life would be like inside a royal castle, but it would surely be interesting. "Well your father knows I've always liked the country more than the city, and he was stubborn saying 'The run into town everyday is what keeps me strong.' So in the end, we decided to stay where we were. Would you like to live in the castle Kyler?" "I don't know, maybe. It sounds pretty cool." "I guess it does, doesn't it. I'm sure you'll be able to go inside it sometime with your father." Our conversation had led us all the way to a gate leading into the city. There were a number of men wearing leather armor standing guard, most of the men were gripping long spears with pointed metal heads, but a man wearing a metal helmet who had a sword strapped to his waist approached Lili and me as we drew near to the gate. "Good morning miss. Might I ask what your business is in the capital today?" So this was the capital after all. I guess it makes sense if the duke's castle was here. Nevertheless, I didn't like this guard. His gaze strayed a bit too low, a bit too often while looking at Lili. Oi, those aren't her eyes you know. "I'm going to do some shopping with my son." The man barely glanced at me. I took the opportunity to peek at his stats. Compared to Jars, he was nothing special. His strength was barely 50. That was probably why he was stuck guarding a gate. Lili took a metal object out of her pocket and showed it to the man. At first I thought she was paying some sort of toll, but when I looked closer, I saw some sort of family crest engraved on the thin metal plate. I assume it was some sort of identification, because as soon as the man saw it he straightened up. One of the other guards came and whispered something in his ear as he inspected the crest. Immediately, the man removed his helmet and hastily returned the plate to Lili. "I'm very sorry, My Lady. Please, go ahead. I'm sorry for the wait." The man spoke while inclining his head in a slight bow. Hey now, what's with this change in attitude? Was I related nobility? Don't just leave out important information like that. Lili smiled at the man as we made our way inside the gate. "Oh dear, I think I may have given the guard a bit of a fright. This is one of your father's plates. It has the duke's crest because your father works with Duke Rowen. Your father gave one to me so I can get in the castle if I come to visit him." Wow, it's like access card to anywhere in the city, maybe even the country. You'll lend it to me later, right? It sounds too useful to pass up. "It was a long walk, huh Ky? Why don't we rest for a bit?" I was more than happy to agree to Lili's suggestion and we found an outdoor table at a nearby restaurant. I was seated on a bench next to Lili, facing a small wooden table. I was just glad to be sitting down after so much walking. Before long, a young girl came up to our table. "Hello, how may I serve you M'Lady?" It seemed like a rather formal greeting, but maybe that was just normal for someone in the service industry. And by 'service' I was referring to food service, not the type of service that adults would use at night. We had scarcely entered the town, and I had already seen scantily clad women advertising their 'wares' on a street corner, it wasn't even afternoon yet, how much business could you possible get in the morning. The girl had a rather plain face, but she was still cute. When she returned to our table carrying a pitcher of water with lemon slices floating in it, I took a look at her status screen. Her name was Natalie, there was no family name given, and she was 14 years old, almost a woman in this world. Perhaps she noticed me staring, because she smiled at me and leaned forward to pour a glass of water, her generous assets threatening to spill out of her blouse. Was every woman in this world so generously endowed? "You have a very cute son, M'Lady." "Thank you, why don't you say hello dear?" Lili rubbed my head gently. "Thank you miss, my name is Kyler." "It is very nice to meet you, Lord Kyler. You may call me Nat, if you wish." Natalie curtsied, showing off even more of her legs, than her skirt already did. Nat retreated back to the kitchen, giving a slight bow before leaving. "Why did she call me 'Lord Kyler?'" I asked Lili. "It's because of your father's position. As captain of the royal guard, he is given that respect, and as his heir so are you. I have accompanied him through town enough that many people will recognize me as his wife, and you; therefore, as his son. The guard at the gate must be new enough that he didn't know who I was." Captain was it? Just how important was that guy? Natalie returned with a small tray full of meats and cheeses. It looked delicious, and although the flavor was a bit lacking compared to Lili's cooking, it was perfect for a snack. "Can I get you anything else, M'Lady?" Natalie asked, as she stood fidgeting by our table. "No, thank you, that will be all." Although it sounded like Lili dismissed the girl, she remained standing beside the door to the interior of the restaurant. Perhaps she needed to stay close by in the event we required her assistance. It wouldn't have been a problem, except for the way in which she was crossing and uncrossing her legs, while bobbing slightly up and down. I did my best to ignore her, and focused on the food in front of me. By the time I had eaten my fill, Nat looked even more desperate. She was actually pressing one of her hands between her legs, but when she saw me looking, she immediately took her hand away and tried to stand still. Checking her status confirmed the already obvious situation. She was desperate to pee. Capacity: 300/400 It seemed like she could still hold it for a while longer, although that observation didn't seem to comfort the frantic Natalie. Her bladder seemed significantly smaller than Lili's, but I had no idea what a normal size was. Lili was currently at 300/700, and she seemed completely comfortable, despite the fact she was holding the same amount as Natalie. What was it measured in anyway? Milliliters? "It looks like she really needs to go, huh?" Lili whispered conspiratorially. I guess she noticed me watching Nat. "Yeah I guess so." I still didn't really know why she wouldn't just go to the bathroom. "Well I know what it's like to be in that situation. Let's not keep her waiting much longer." We had already finished the food, so Lili took one last sip of lemon water, and we stood up. Nat came walked with mincing steps over to where we were standing. Lili handed her a large silver coin to the girl, and received a number of smaller silver and bronze coins in change. Lili returned one of the bronze coins to the girl, I assumed it was a tip. "Th-thank you for coming, please come again." Natalie bowed deeply, wincing at the extra pressure on her bladder. "I'm sure we will, but first shouldn't you go find a bathroom? You've been putting on quite the performance for some time now." Lili asked with a small smile. Nat looked horrified. She blushed deeply, and apologized profusely. Lili waved away the girls apologizes, saying it was no big deal. "Why don't you go?" Lili seemed curious. "Ah, well my mother runs the restaurant, but she went to buy fresh ingredients for lunch. So I have to watch the shop until she gets back. If she finds out I left it unattended, I'll be in big trouble. She should be back soon, I hope..." Nat explained, still blushing fiercely, and once again crossing her legs. "Oh is that it, well good luck." Lili looked slightly amused as we prepared to leave. There wasn't anything we could really do to help the girl. Or at least there wasn't anything Lili could do. I could probably help in one way or another by editing, but I didn't want to mess around with the stats of just anyone I came across. And besides, I thought Nat looked kind of cute as she swayed back and forth in her desperation. As Natalie bade us farewell once more, I checked her status again. She was at 350/400 now. Based on how desperate she already seemed, I doubted if she would even hold on until her maximum capacity. So unless her mother returned very soon, it seemed unlikely that she would get away with entirely dry panties. I wouldn't be surprised if she already didn't have entirely dry panties. Part of me wanted to stay and see what would happen, but I knew we had no reason to stay any longer, so Lili and I made our way further into the town. We spent the better part of two hours visiting different shops, looking for anything that might make a good birthday present for Jars. I had no idea what he would like. Alcohol? It seemed like drinking and whoring were the favorite pastimes for men in this world, and I didn't expect Lili would be fond of the latter. When we began shopping Lili gave me a large silver coin, and told me to hold onto it carefully, so I could buy something for my father, or myself if I found something I wanted. What a carefree mother. I didn't know exactly how much the coin was worth, but since one of these coins was more than enough to pay for a meal for two people, I assumed it was a decent amount of money. I finally found something in a small dimly lit shop. Lili and I were the only customers in the store, and the owner was sitting in a corner smoking a pipe. The smoke made it harder to see, but I noticed something sitting on the floor, covered by some miscellaneous junk. I pried open the wooden box and found a game board inside. It was chess, or at least it looked similar. The board was painted with alternating checkered tiles, but it looked bigger than a normal chess board, and each hand-carved wooden piece looked unique. I showed the game to Lili, to see what she thought of it. When she saw what I had found her eyes lit up. "Ohh, this would be perfect. Jars said he used to play this as a kid, I bet he would love it. Good job Kyler." Lili patted my head, and began counting the pieces to make sure there weren't any missing. I didn't know the game enough to help her, so I turned my attention to the individual that had just walked into the shop. It looked like a young girl, but that was about as much as I could tell. She was wearing a dark cloak, with a hood up over her head. I received a shock when I looked at her status, or rather, when I tried to look at her status. I couldn't see anything. Every line of her status was full of question marks; her name, age, stats, everything, except for one. Title: Shrouded One Shrouded One? Was that something that blocked my ability? While I was considering the possibilities my thoughts were interrupted as the shopkeeper had appeared, standing directly behind the new girl. I hadn't even noticed him get up from where he was sitting. "What are you doing girl?" The man growled, and the girl spun around surprised by the sudden voice. "I was just..." The girl started to speak in a small voice, before she was cut off by the shopkeeper. "Just what? Stealing?" The girl was indeed holding a small wooden stick, it was about as long as her arm, and it formed a small loop at one end. "No...I was just." But the girl was interrupted again. "Then are you buying that? You can pay now then...I didn't think so. Give me that, and get out." The man grabbed one end of the small staff, but the girl desperately held on to the other end. "No you can't." As she struggled to keep hold of the stick, the girls hood fell down, uncovering her long, golden hair. "Of course, a dirty half-elf. I should have known." Half-elf? There are elves too? I wonder if I'll stop being surprised at some point. Indeed I could see that the girls ears came to a slight point, but if the man had not said anything I might never have noticed. But what's with the discrimination? The shopkeeper seized the girl by the back of her neck and held her aloft. She must have been rather light, because the man wasn't particularly strong according to his stats. "No! Let me go! I didn't do anything." The girl kicked her feet as she struggled, she looked terrified, and I couldn't blame her. "I'm just going to call the guards and see what they think of a half-elf thief. What was the punishment for stealing again? Was it cutting off two fingers, or was it a whole hand?" The girl's wide eyes were filled with tears as she continued to struggle. I could see drops of liquid falling from beneath her skirt. She must have been truly terrified. I couldn't sit by and watch anymore. "Excuse me sir." I tried my best to sound authoritative, which didn't work particularly well with the voice and body of a two year old. "What..." The man barked as he turned around, but when he saw me, his eyes flicked over to Lili, and recognition flashed in his eyes. It seemed even this man knew who my father was. "Ah..Ahem, what can I help you with M'Lord?" The man's attitude toward me changed, but he was still hoisting the crying, and leaking, girl aloft. "Well you see, I asked this girl to make a purchase and deliver it to my father." A flicker of fear appeared on the shopkeeper's face at my words. I was going to abuse my father's reputation, I would have to apologize later. "But she ran off before I could give her the money, she's overenthusiastic I suppose." I held the large silver coin between my thumb and index finger to make sure the man could see it. "I'm sure this will more than cover the cost of the item." I held out the coin to the shopkeeper. "And you can keep the change, for any trouble this girl might have caused you." "Ah..." The man only hesitated for a second, he looked at the girl he was holding, before setting her gently to the ground. "Of course, I'm sorry M'Lord. I didn't know she was doing your business." This conversation must have looked strange, a full grown man speaking so deferentially to a child. "No need to apologize, you didn't know." The shopkeeper bowed his head and returned to his chair and pipe, apparently having lost interest in the still crying girl. She must have been in shock. It had been a rather traumatizing event for her. I pretended I couldn't see the wet spot on the front of her skirt as I walked over to her. When I touched her arm, she jumped like I had shocked her, and she hurriedly pulled her hood back up. "Are you okay?" It looked like she had stopped crying, but now she was looking at me like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Ah, Thank you." The girl bent into a deep bow, and continued speaking to the floor. "I...I...Thank you!" "Don't worry about it." As I was speaking the girl was staring intently at my face with something that looked like determination. "Thank you!" The girl repeated, but before I could say another word, she turned and tried to run out of the shop. Her foot slipped on the wet floor where she had been standing and she stumbled, but she caught herself a the last second before falling. From the side, I could see that she was blushing deeply, but she refused to look back. Instead, she started running again, because she was clutching her cloak in front of her to cover her wet skirt, she was forced to take small strides. I decided it would be better if no one told her the back of her skirt and cloak were wet as well, at least the cloak was dark enough to mostly hide the evidence. 'Shrouded One.' I never did figure out what that title meant, or why I couldn't see her stats. It seemed unlikely I would meet her again, but I would have to try and at least get her name if we ever did. "Ready to go?" Lili laid her hand on my head, she was holding the box containing the board game beneath her arm. It seemed as though she had bought the game while I was distracted with the strange elf girl. "Yeah I guess." Once we had left the shop I turned and apologized to Lili. "I'm sorry, mother. I spent all the money you gave me." "I know." She rubbed my head again. "I saw what happened. Don't worry, you did the right thing. If anything I should be the one apologizing. I should have been the one to do something. I'm the adult after all." Lili gave a small smile. "Although sometimes you make me lose confidence as an adult, Kyler." I didn't know quite how to respond to that, so I stayed quiet. Lili laughed, and just like that she was back to her usual cheery self. "Wait until Jars hears this story. Kyler Sol, Champion of Justice. He'll be so proud." I couldn't help but laugh at that. I didn't consider myself to have done anything extraordinary, it seemed like common sense to stop a man from threatening a little girl. I was more concerned at how quick the man was to discriminate based on race, or would it be species? I would love to meet another elf, or any other race, maybe there were dwarves or something too, but if humans were so hostile towards them that might be difficult. Lili and I, having found a suitable gift for Jars, made our way back toward the city gate. As we were passing the little restaurant where we had eaten, I noticed a red faced Natalie sweeping just outside the door. The reason for her embarrassment was fairly obvious. A wire was stretched across the small gap between the restaurant and the adjacent building, and hanging from the wire was a pair of still wet panties and i stained skirt. Perhaps the publicness of the soiled clothes was part of the punishment given by Nat's mother. When I looked at Nat's status one more time, I learned the rest of the girl's punishment. Equipment: Diaper(small)-Absorbency 100 I almost laughed out loud, the poor girl. I wondered if she realized that this two year old had been out of diapers longer than her. The guards at the gate told Lili and I to be careful on the way home as we left the town. I wasn't looking forward to the long walk home, but I was an Editor, so it wouldn't hard. Sorry this chapter took a bit longer than I expected, but I hope it was worth it. Let me know what you think, and what you would like to see in the future. Cheers! Anathema, WaityKaty, TheGreatNobody and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment
Melificentfan 1,215 Posted December 9, 2015 ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted December 9, 2015 I loved reading every second of this I can't wait for the next chapter Quote Link to comment
Rinatro 190 Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 That was a really good chapter. I feel like I understand the world much better now, especially with all the descriptions of the scenery and character expansions. Can't wait for the next chapter :) Quote Link to comment
tenck5k 174 Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 I would read this without any sort of...site specific plot elements...in it. It has what many stories on sites such as this lack: an interesting plot (an interesting mystery at least), interesting characters, and an interesting world. Not saying that I don't appreciate the other kinds of stories, but it is refreshing to see one like this, one where I can eagerly await the next segment on the story's merits alone. Stay determined, and keep up the good work! :) Garrus and Bismiris 2 Quote Link to comment
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