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The Device


Guest KTV

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Hi everybody,

 

I'm taking another shot at a multi-part story :)

 

I will try to keep it going over lots of chapters (if people like it). I know maintaining enthusiasm for my stories is one of my weaknesses - so, as always feedback (whether positive or helpfully negative) is always very much appreciated and will help keep the story going!

 

As you'll see - there's a slight "magic" bit at the beginning. That's really just to set up the premise, and after that it will all be very naturalistic.

 

This Chapter (1a) is a lot of set-up, but I hope you think it's worthwhile and I promise more real content soon!

 

Hope you enjoy it!

 

**************************************************************************

 

The Device - Part 1a

 

Amanda walked down the road from her friend Megan's house to the train station, starting to make her way back to her own house. Although she'd had fun with Megan, she couldn't help feel a bit disappointed. After all, the main reason she'd gone there after school was in the hope that Megan's little sister might have an accident.

 

That probably needs some explaining. When Amanda was younger, she was always having problems keeping her panties dry. She was late potty-training, and her parents got used to her having a lot of accidents and wet beds even when she was 4, 5, 6 years old. But even as she continued to get older, they never really went away. Of course they happened less often when she was 10 than when she was 5, but the combination of her small bladder, her shyness about asking to pee, and her terrible habits of leaving it to the last minute and not thinking ahead and using a toilet while she had a chance meant that she continued to endure embarrassing moments well into her childhood.

 

Now, thankfully, at 14, that basically never happened anymore. I mean there was that time a couple of months ago at the sleepover, but they'd had a lot of soda...and that kind-of one outside the bathroom, but it had been occupied for ages...anyway, as far as she was concerned, that was now behind her. But while she'd always detested her own accidents, one side-effect of having been embarrassed and in trouble from her bladder so often growing up, was that she loved seeing other young girls in the same position. To Amanda, seeing a girl desperately trying to hold on until they could get to a bathroom, but ultimately fail and soak her panties in disgrace, was the most exciting thing imaginable.

 

The problem, was that it almost never happened anymore. Amanda's little sister, Poppy, evidently had almost all her genes in common with her big sister. She had been just as accident prone growing up, and seeing those had been one of Amanda's main sources of this type of entertainment. But with Poppy now 12, even those were much rarer than they used to be. And so Amanda spent a lot of time online, looking for stories or videos, trying to get the excitement she craved. And although she found occasional enjoyable material, it was never as good as a actual, genuine accident in real life.

 

Megan's little sister Lizzie had been pretty accident prone herself when she was 7 or 8, and that was why Amanda always had hopes when she went to visit Megan's house - but Lizzie was almost 10 now, and Amanda was duly disappointed when the evening went by without even a glimpse of desperation.

 

Amanda walked down the stairs to the platform, noticing that it was only a couple of minutes until her train arrived. At least, she thought to herself, it was the half-term vacation next week. Not only did that mean that she didn't have to go to school herself, but it also meant lots of kids around, enjoying their holidays, so who could say what she might see. (While school had once been a good place for her to see accidents - now that she was older, that was basically unthinkable in her classes, and since her school started at 13 there weren't even many other chances around.)

 

The train pulled in, and Amanda got on at the far end having wandered all the way along the platform. It was almost totally deserted in that part of the train, and she sat down on an empty bank of seats. The seats facing her were also empty, and she noticed that a small piece of paper had been left on one of them. As the train pulled away, she glanced at it and realised that it was a hand-written note that had been left there deliberately:

 

"Hi - do NOT sit on this seat. My daughter wet herself in this seat. Sorry!"

 

Amanda had to read it twice - not quite sure if this was real. When she finished reading it the second time, she felt a surge of excitement. She lifted up the piece of paper, and realised that it was actually true. The seat underneath was wet - with the not-quite-circular pattern that was undeniably from having been peed on by a girl sitting down. Her heart beating faster, and checking around nervously to make sure nobody was watching or setting her up for a practical joke, she gently ran her hand over the wet surface. She felt odd doing it - she didn't like playing with someone's pee itself, it was the desperation and the accident she enjoyed - but she sniffed her fingers. It really was pee!

 

Amanda sat back in her seat, trying to believe her luck that she'd happened to sit in the right part of the right train to see the note. She started trying to work out if she could tell anything from it - what kind of parent would leave a note? Presumably it was a really young girl who would wet herself like that, but actually the pee area was not small? It excited Amanda even more to think that this wasn't just a potty-training mistake by a 3 year old, but potentially a very embarrassing incident for an older child.

 

There was also though, a tinge of regret. Yes it was fun to have found the seat and the note, but she'd never really know what had happened. And just imagine if she'd been on the train earlier! How exciting she'd have found it to watch the wetness on the seat get made! She closed her eyes briefly, thinking "I would love, more than anything, to be able to see exactly what happens with any accident I wanted!". She opened her eyes startled as a huge clap of thunder rolled outside. She glanced out the window - it was dark, but she was sure it hadn't been cloudy. How could there suddenly be thunder? And just one clap? There was no sign of any further storminess - let alone something so loud and close.

 

Puzzled, she sat back in her seat, and noticed there was suddenly something beside her. It was like some kind of tablet computer - but not. It was less shiny, but somehow also looked more expensive, as if it had been made in a really important factory. She turned it over in her hands. There was nothing on the back, but a big screen and one button the front. Had it been there when she sat down? At first Amanda presumed she'd just missed it until the thunder caught her attention - but then she remembered that she'd specifically picked these seats because they were totally clear apart from the small note (the other set had bits of old newspaper scattered on them). But how could the device have suddenly appeared?

 

Intrigued by it, and having checked again that nobody was watching her or even close enough to see what was in her hands, Amanda looked more closely. The one button said "Scan" in small letters. She pushed it, and the screen remained blank. At first she thought it had done nothing, and maybe the device was broken or needed power, but then she noticed a small red line come out the top - shining across the train carriage like a very faint laser until it hit the other side. It was like the barcode scanner at the supermarket, Amanda thought, but very faint. She wasn't sure that anybody else would have noticed the red line even if they were sitting right opposite her - unless they were deliberately focussed on the device.

 

Wondering what it did, she tilted the device around the carriage, so that the red line traced over the seats and walls. Nothing happened, until she titled it right down and ran the beam over the seats right in front of her. As she did so, the screen suddenly lit up: "Scanning...". But it soon went blank again. She swiped the beam across those seats, and at the same point the screen came on again with the same message. In fact, she found, the screen only came on when the red line was pointing right at the seat with the note on it - right at the wet patch that she'd been exploring a few minutes ago.

 

She watched the screen, for a few moments, and after 10 seconds or less, suddenly "Scanning..." was replaced by a full screen - complete with numerous menus and options. It was as if pointing the laser at the wet seat had somehow turned the device on. In the middle of the screen was one main block of text, so Amanda started reading:

 

"Rachel Bradman, 12. Today, 18:21. After going shopping with her mom after school, Rachel discovered to her surprise that there was no toilet on the train. Having not peed before leaving school because she'd forgotten that they weren't going straight home, Rachel preferred not to use the supermarket toilet. On boarding the train with her mom, Rachel at first just took a seat - but as her urge to pee became more urgent, she decided to try to find the on-board toilet before discovering to her frustration that it was too small a train. Fidgeting increasingly in her seat, she soon drew her mom's attention..."

 

Amanda could not stop herself shivering all over. She had so many questions. Could this possibly be what it seemed? How did it work? Why had it appeared on the seat? Still in disbelief, her excitement almost doubled when she noticed one button next to the story that was larger than most of the others: "Watch". Checking once again that nobody was watching her, she pressed it.

 

Amanda jumped when the device started to make a noise. She hadn't expected it at all. But she quickly pulled her headphones out of her pocked and plugged them into a small hole at the top - realising that this could be even better with sound, if it was what she thought it was. But it couldn't be that? Could it?

 

The screen was offering her some further options: "From leaving school", "From at the supermarket, "From boarding the train", "From getting desperate", etc. Amanda nervously tapped "From boarding the train."

 

Instantly, the video began. A pretty girl, who did look about 12, was getting on the train with a woman who seemed like her mom. They were carrying quite a few shopping bags, and Amanda recognised the girl's clothing as being the school uniform of one of the expensive private schools in that part of town. They walked a few steps down the aisle, and put down their bags, before taking seats.

 

Amanda froze, and pressed Pause. It was undeniably the same train and the same seats as where she was sat now. She could even see little marks on the floor of the carriage in the video, that she could also see right by her own feet now. And in the video, the girl had just sat in the very seat which was now wet.

 

Amanda looked around, suddenly suspicious. Surely there had to be some camera, that was watching her even now. This video had to have been filmed somehow. But there wasn't. It was an old train - it clearly didn't have CCTV and she could see nothing else that could possibly be a recording device.

 

It started to dawn on Amanda, that however inexplicable this might be, it was also real. Her excitement increased by the fact that the girl was pretty, and much older than Amanda had thought the culprit of the wet seat would probably be, Amanda looked back down at the screen. She had no idea how this could possibly be happening, and yet she was also oddly certain what was going to happen if she kept watching. She pressed Play...

Edited by KTV (see edit history)
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At the beginning, I think you shuffled the siblings. Poppy is stated as being Amanda's sister, and then that just like her sister she had accidents. Amanda is only said to like seeing other girls have accidents, whether she had problems with or enjoying having accidents herself isn't made clear. Meanwhile, Lizzie is said to be Megan's sister, and

. . .

 

Oh. Never mind, you actually just said 'Megan' when you should have used 'Amanda'. So, fix that, if you will, it's confusing.

 

Content-wise, the story is starting out with a few wobbles. One nitpick is that, given only this one chapter, the space devoted to Megan and her family isn't needed. At least so far, their existence is meaningless to the plot. It would pretty much work just as well if you just said she had been at 'a friend's house'. Named characters, especially those with any sort of backstory, need to be important to the plot within a reasonable time period, otherwise your reader wonders why you went to the trouble. Additionally, something I think you should work on that you may or may not have heard of before is the concept of direct versus indirect characterization. Direct characterization is basically when the author or narrator flat-out says that "<character> is/has <trait/quality>". Using direct characterization is at some points unavoidable, particularly in the opening. However, especially as you progress, you should be trying to show these character traits or physical feature or whatever rather than telling the reader. It makes the story more believable, and makes your characters seem rounder, more dynamic, and more like a real person. Something you might not have considered yet is the physical appearances of the characters. While no one likes being defined by their appearance, 'disembodied voice syndrome' is a deadly condition that can be easily prevented!

 

I know I've spent the last paragraph more or less ordering you around, but, there's also a lot of potential here. The conception of the device itself is a really good idea. I wish I had thought of it, even though I'm not really into voyeurism. As long as you make it about something more than Amanda getting aroused (though it's fine to include that if you wish) you won't have much trouble coming up with some really neat scenes. Maybe as she exits the train, she sees Rachel getting scolded by her mother by the ladies' room, and feels obligated to help her get over the embarrassment and shame associated with peeing your pants. Maybe the mad scientist responsible for the device's creation goes after her. Maybe she learns more about the device's abilities, say, maybe it can predict the future as it relates to pantswetting, or maybe she ends up watching herself have an accident in real time. There are many different ways to go about this.

 

I will give you 91 Internets if you change the title to "There's an App For That!". "The Device" is really vague. Maybe it's talking about an omorashi voodoo doll? Or a taser that makes you lose control of yourself? You could get a lot more clicks with something that narrows the range of possibilities more. The title I suggested pretty much lets you know exactly what's going on here. Plus, it's hilarious.

 

 

No, I'm serious. "There's an App For That!". It's perfect.

Edited by juntaglom (see edit history)
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Lol I really like this concept, I'm really looking forward to seeing where you're going to go with this.

It's a different take on the often used theme of a device to cause accidents; now it can just replay them,

unless it gets an upgrade in the future.  

I'll be interested to see what kind of opportunities Amanda has to scan accidents.

Keep up the good work

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Hi Kelli,

 

it´s really nice  to read from you again.

And though I'm normally not a fan of magic or similar, I was really astonishes and fascinated by this story, because I often have dreamed about something like this.

If I ever saw a girl of which I thought she could possibly be desperate, or overheard someone tell about an accident, I thought about how it would be if I would be able to switch in this situation and to see what really happened. 

Obviously, I am not the only one with such "strange" fantasies, and it is great that you decided to make a story from this stuff.

So, keep up your excellent writing, I am very curious and looking forward how this will go on.

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Have you thought of adding more abilities such as when you scan people it comes up with things like bladder capacity, how full it is, maybe even what drinks the person has consumed and the time they last went to the toilet?  is it also going to be used to create wetting or not by being able to stimulate people/bladders by maybe making a person feel thirsty or desperate by coming up with a picture of the human body and you can like click the bladder or click icons to do things. is it also possible to fill and empty or transfer peoples needs? as weird as it sounds and I can understand if that is one step too far. I am sorry if you do not agree with any of these but This story has great potential, in that it can become almost anything. I was just wondering do you have an end that you are thinking of, or are you just going to write chapter by chapter?

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Thanks for the comments everyone! You'll be pleased to know that lots of the things you've suggested are things I'm intending to turn out to be possible for Amanda to do with the device.

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Its always lovely reading your stories, and this one is no exception! Aside from the name glitch mentioned earlier nothing popped out at me as needing an edit (i'd read it before the edit but forgot to comment, lol) Though I do have to admit "There's An App For That!" would have been an amusing choice of title. XD but anywhoozle, keep up the good work and I hope to see more stuff on this soon!

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As the video began, Rachel settled into her seat and took out her phone. At first, Amanda wondered if she might have misunderstood this whole process, but she didn't have to wonder for long. Soon Rachel's tell-tale signs became visible on screen. As Rachel crossed one tights-clad leg over the other and slipped forward slightly onto the front of her seat, while continuing to tap away on her phone, Amanda had been in the same situation enough times before to recognise a girl who needs to pee but isn't yet consciously addressing her urge.

But whereas Amanda knew at the same age she might have waited a long time indeed before responding to the messages from her bladder, Rachel soon reacted. Just a few seconds after one moment where her hand flicked instinctively between her legs, Rachel stood up.

"Where are you going?" Amanda heard Rachel's mom ask in a surprised tone.

"Oh, I'm just going to go use the toilet."

"There aren't any on this train - you know that", her mom replied casually.

"Oh." Rachel acted unconcerned, and sat back down, but Amanda caught her breath in excitement at the brief flash of anxiety that was shown in Rachel's face.

As Amanda continued watching, the mom and daughter returned to their routines. But Rachel was decidedly more fidgety now. Barely two minutes would go past without her changing position: crossing and uncrossing her legs, shifting back and forth in her seat, and increasingly fiddling with the material of her skirt in a clear effort to resist the urges to apply some pressure to her crotch. Rachel was undeniably a pretty girl, and Amanda watched enraptured as she nervously brushed some hair from her face and gave a quick glance at her watch.

"Are you sure there isn't a bathroom on the train, mom?"

"Yeah, positive. It's only a small train hun."

But Rachel's anxious question had attracted her mom's attention, and now she looked up and saw her daughter squirming.

She rolled her eyes. "Why didn't you go before you left school?"

"I thought we were going straight home."

"Or at the supermarket then?"

"Because I thought there would be a toilet on the train!" Rachel sounded tense now, and slightly frustrated.

The conversation lulled briefly, until Rachel spoke again. "It's okay. I can hold it." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as her mom.

"I should hope so, Rachel...a girl your age!" Amanda was loving that Rachel's mom clearly didn't regard an accident as something that might normally be expected to happen from her 12 year-old daughter.

As time continued to pass though, and Rachel's anxiety became more and more apparent, her mom relented slightly.

"Look, do we need to get off at the next stop so that you can use the bathroom? It will be a pain with all this shopping" - she gesticulated at their bags - "and we might need to talk about whether the money I give you for soda at school is such a good idea, but if you're that uncomfortable then just say."

Rachel blushed, clearly not enjoying the fact that her bladder was disrupting their plans. "No, it's fine. I'll wait" she insisted, clearly steeling herself to just wait out the rest of the journey.

Her mom went back to her magazine, and Rachel went back to her book. Amanda noticed that their train seemed to be moving much more slowly past the scenery outside than hers normally did - but because she didn't take it at that time of day often, she couldn't be sure if that was unusual or not.

By the time they arrived at their next stop, Amanda could see that Rachel's fidgeting had got worse. She looked longingly out at the station building, but said nothing, and soon the train pulled away again.

Within the next couple of minutes though, Rachel looked like she was probably regretting that decision. Her hand was permanently on her lap, making repeated little grabs through the front of her skirt. And she couldn't sit still.

Inevitably, her mom soon commented. "Really Rachel..." she said disapprovingly. "You're acting like your little cousin!"

"I'm sorry mom...it's just I do really really need to go."

"Well then you should have used the toilet at school or the supermarket! I shouldn't be needing to remind you to take bathroom breaks at your age."

Rachel accepted the mild reprimand, but her desperation only got worse. And, as far as Amanda could tell, their train seemed to have slowed down even more. By the time Rachel spoke again, she had jammed her thighs against each other and was rubbing them urgently together. Her hand was almost permanently buried into the front of her skirt - something that she was half-heartedly trying to hide with a bag.

"Mom..." she sounded very nervous. "Do you know how much longer it is?"

"I'm not sure hun. I think the train's running late."

"I'm not sure I can make it."

Her mom sighed, but didn't respond too severely at all. "Okay, fine, we'll get off at the next station, and you can use the toilet before we catch the next train that comes through. But remember not to do this again, okay?"

"No mom - I mean I'm not sure if I can make it to the next station!"

Now her mom really paid attention. "You're not serious, Rachel? You're 12!"

"I know, but I have to go so badly! I'm trying to hold on, but the train's taking forever and I haven't been since before lunch at school!"

"Well who's fault is that?" Watching her daughter squirming frantically in her seat, Rachel's mom clearly realised that just telling her off wasn't going to keep her panties dry. "Well just think about other things. You're a big girl - you can hold on. It won't take too long to get home."

Rachel clearly tried to do exactly what her mom said, but it was clear on screen to Amanda that her need to pee was about as strong as she could cope with. She was chewing her bottom lip nervously, staring straight ahead the whole time.

Once or twice, Amanda thought she saw Rachel freeze in panic for a moment, but she always resumed her desperate behaviour immediately after. Until eventually, Rachel gasped. The sound caught her mom's attention, but Rachel was only focussed on one thing. She jammed both hands tightly between her legs. "Oh god...no no no...please!" she begged to herself, but it wasn't enough.

As the pee began to flow, Rachel was clearly powerless to stop it. It soaked into the seat - so none pooled on the floor - but the growing wet area between her legs was absolutely obvious. Her light grey tights were soon painted a much darker colour.

"Rachel!" Her mom sounded almost more shocked than annoyed. As she stood her daughter up to inspect the damage, Amanda could see the large wet area on her skirt too.

After a few moments of Rachel looking mortified and apologising to her mom - promising that she hadn't meant to and it wouldn't ever happen again - the video suddenly clicked to a stop.

Amanda was breathless. She looked around, almost not believing that she could be the only person to have witnessed what she'd just seen, but nobody was even close to her on the train, let alone able to see the screen on her device.

It was now giving her several options: "From immediate aftermath", "From arriving at their station, "From getting home". Amanda wanted more - she wanted to know how Rachel and her mom handled the incident through the rest of the evening. Although she didn't admit it to herself, she'd have liked to see the pretty girl stripping off her soaked uniform. But at that moment, Amanda's own train started to arrive at her station.

Amanda glanced at her watch. She really was home already - she'd been so absorbed in the video that the journey seemed to have gone by in an instant. Suddenly slightly guilty of her secret, she slipped the device into her bag, hoping that she could pick up where she'd left off later. She got off the train, and began the short walk home, trying to recompose herself after such an exciting discovery.

*********************************************************

Hi everyone, hope you liked it!

I thought it was important to actually give you some of the fun that Amanda gets out of the device - rather than just revealing its abilities one-by-one without fully exploring them.

Chapter 2 should show Amanda using it again (on a different person/incident), and I'll try to keep to the same principle of telling my narrative but also letting you enjoy what Amanda enjoys!

As before, all feedback very much welcomed to help me keep the story going :)

Edited by KTV (see edit history)
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Well my plan is to do a bit of both. In other words, a mix of a) telling the story of Amanda and she gets up too and b) telling the stories (ie, accidents) that she sees on the device.

Unless people think that's not a good plan?

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Well my plan is to do a bit of both. In other words, a mix of a) telling the story of Amanda and she gets up too and b) telling the stories (ie, accidents) that she sees on the device.

Unless people think that's not a good plan?

It'd be weird if she didn't develop at least some sort of relationship with the people she sees videos of. Who doesn't have their own preferred actresses?

 

Dealing with any possible consequences of her actions and/or helping out her fellow wetters will be a good source of material.

Edited by juntaglom (see edit history)
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