TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 20 minutes ago, Peesephone said: I'm not even surprised that happened. I've been called transphobic before over stuff like not liking the video game Celeste. By several different people I might add. I really wish people didn't throw the word transphobic as willy-nilly as they do. Paints trans people in a bad light if you as me. It also makes it harder to actually find people who are being transphobic, too. "Does this person actually hate trans people or do they just not play a video game?" shouldn't be a question. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 1 hour ago, TheGiantDiaper said: It also makes it harder to actually find people who are being transphobic, too. "Does this person actually hate trans people or do they just not play a video game?" shouldn't be a question. I totally agree. When it gets to the point where trans people are being called transphobic, that's when you know it's gone too far. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Peesephone said: I totally agree. When it gets to the point where trans people are being called transphobic, that's when you know it's gone too far. For sure Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 I'mma be honest, I had a hard time accepting I was possibly trans because of people like that. Seeing people constantly yelled at and even being yelled at myself a few times made the trans community feel very unwelcoming. Felt like I was walking on eggshells. Even now, I still have issues accepting that I might be trans. Constantly wondering if it's better to just try and forget about the possibility of being trans, or go try and go through all the pain and suffering of transitioning only to have a small chance of it actually working out in the end. Sorry for ranting. This just really bothers me. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 56 minutes ago, Peesephone said: I'mma be honest, I had a hard time accepting I was possibly trans because of people like that. Seeing people constantly yelled at and even being yelled at myself a few times made the trans community feel very unwelcoming. Felt like I was walking on eggshells. Even now, I still have issues accepting that I might be trans. Constantly wondering if it's better to just try and forget about the possibility of being trans, or go try and go through all the pain and suffering of transitioning only to have a small chance of it actually working out in the end. Sorry for ranting. This just really bothers me. That's all very understandable. As with any community, depending on who you run into first, you can easily have a very different welcome to the community. I will say two things: One, you don't have to associate with the community if you don't want too. If you feel the community is toxic, then stay away. You can still be trans without having to associate with other trans people. Two, don't transition if you aren't sure you want too. You don't have to transition to be trans if you are comfortable with your body. You don't have to look a certain way to be trans, you just have to be trans. And you definitely don't want to transition if you aren't sure about it, just to end up transitioning back. Start with non-permanent things first, like asking friends to call you by a different name and/or pronouns, or use a different hair style that is more seen as the other gender. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 38 minutes ago, TheGiantDiaper said: That's all very understandable. As with any community, depending on who you run into first, you can easily have a very different welcome to the community. I will say two things: One, you don't have to associate with the community if you don't want too. If you feel the community is toxic, then stay away. You can still be trans without having to associate with other trans people. Two, don't transition if you aren't sure you want too. You don't have to transition to be trans if you are comfortable with your body. You don't have to look a certain way to be trans, you just have to be trans. And you definitely don't want to transition if you aren't sure about it, just to end up transitioning back. Start with non-permanent things first, like asking friends to call you by a different name and/or pronouns, or use a different hair style that is more seen as the other gender. Those are some great tips. I have been trying out some new hairstyles and clothes. So, I'm at least doing that much right. I haven't really done anything with my name or pronouns yet though. At least, not with friends or family. It just makes me so nervous for some reason. I'm not sure how to explain it. I definitely don't wanna rush transitioning. Took me a while to unlearn that mentality. At the same time though, I've already been questioning for over 3 years now. I feel like I should've known for sure by now. It's honestly very frustrating. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 21 minutes ago, Peesephone said: Those are some great tips. I have been trying out some new hairstyles and clothes. So, I'm at least doing that much right. I haven't really done anything with my name or pronouns yet though. At least, not with friends or family. It just makes me so nervous for some reason. I'm not sure how to explain it. I definitely don't wanna rush transitioning. Took me a while to unlearn that mentality. At the same time though, I've already been questioning for over 3 years now. I feel like I should've known for sure by now. It's honestly very frustrating. Clothing and hairstyle are very good first calls! Props for that. I can understand the nervousness on names and pronouns for sure. Not knowing how people will act in response is very much part if the process. You don't have to tell them to certain people if you don't want too. You don't "have to know" by any point. There's no deadline. There's no timer. It's a very, very long winded process. Going slower than other people is fine, just don't try and rush yourself into anything, because that just guarantees and unhappy outcome. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 45 minutes ago, TheGiantDiaper said: Clothing and hairstyle are very good first calls! Props for that. I can understand the nervousness on names and pronouns for sure. Not knowing how people will act in response is very much part if the process. You don't have to tell them to certain people if you don't want too. You don't "have to know" by any point. There's no deadline. There's no timer. It's a very, very long winded process. Going slower than other people is fine, just don't try and rush yourself into anything, because that just guarantees and unhappy outcome. Yeah, that all makes sense. I guess I'm just getting to the point where I'm desperate for some kind of answer to this problem. Like, I want all of the stress and confusion to just stop already. It's getting hard to handle. At this point, I don't think it would be inaccurate to say that me realizing I might be trans is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. That's how awful the entire experience has been up to this point. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 7 hours ago, Peesephone said: Yeah, that all makes sense. I guess I'm just getting to the point where I'm desperate for some kind of answer to this problem. Like, I want all of the stress and confusion to just stop already. It's getting hard to handle. At this point, I don't think it would be inaccurate to say that me realizing I might be trans is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. That's how awful the entire experience has been up to this point. Yikes, that's really isn't fun. I hope you can work it out soon though. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 2 hours ago, TheGiantDiaper said: Yikes, that's really isn't fun. I hope you can work it out soon though. Yeah, hopefully I can figure something out soon. Sorry for dumping all that on you. It's just something that's been bothering me for a long time now. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 2 hours ago, Peesephone said: Yeah, hopefully I can figure something out soon. Sorry for dumping all that on you. It's just something that's been bothering me for a long time now. No worries, I'm always open to listen. For some reason I'm always the one my friends seem to trust with dumping feelings on, so it's nothing new to me. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 3 hours ago, TheGiantDiaper said: No worries, I'm always open to listen. For some reason I'm always the one my friends seem to trust with dumping feelings on, so it's nothing new to me. That's good to know. I always feel guilty dumping my problems on others. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 2 hours ago, Peesephone said: That's good to know. I always feel guilty dumping my problems on others. Don't feel guilty for having emotions, that's not healthy thinking. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 21, 2020 Share Posted October 21, 2020 1 hour ago, TheGiantDiaper said: Don't feel guilty for having emotions, that's not healthy thinking. I don't feel guilty about having emotions. I just don't like forcing my problems on others. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 21, 2020 Share Posted October 21, 2020 20 hours ago, Peesephone said: I don't feel guilty about having emotions. I just don't like forcing my problems on others. First off, referring to it as "forcing your problems on others" is a very toxic mindset. You haven't forced anything on me, if I didn't wanna hear about it, ai would have left. You're just sharing your struggles and experiences. Plus, telling others about your problems is a natural, healthy part of having emotions. It's not good to keep them in you, and you will naturally seek to get advice or talk to others in many cases. It's nothing to feel bad about. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 4 hours ago, TheGiantDiaper said: First off, referring to it as "forcing your problems on others" is a very toxic mindset. You haven't forced anything on me, if I didn't wanna hear about it, ai would have left. You're just sharing your struggles and experiences. Plus, telling others about your problems is a natural, healthy part of having emotions. It's not good to keep them in you, and you will naturally seek to get advice or talk to others in many cases. It's nothing to feel bad about. Oh... I'll definitely keep that in mind Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 18 minutes ago, Peesephone said: Oh... I'll definitely keep that in mind Please do. It's really unhealthy to keep issues bottled up. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 1 hour ago, TheGiantDiaper said: Please do. It's really unhealthy to keep issues bottled up. Yeah, I definitely didn't know that was a thing I was doing. Now I just feel dumb. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 10 hours ago, Peesephone said: Yeah, I definitely didn't know that was a thing I was doing. Now I just feel dumb. It's not dumb. Lots of people don't want to share their problems despite it being better too. I learned that the hard way for sure. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 25 minutes ago, TheGiantDiaper said: It's not dumb. Lots of people don't want to share their problems despite it being better too. I learned that the hard way for sure. That's fair. Now I just need to figure out how to get out of the habit of not wanting to bother people with my problems. That's not gonna be fun, especially since I have a bunch of other problems I'm currently dealing with at the same time. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 4 hours ago, Peesephone said: That's fair. Now I just need to figure out how to get out of the habit of not wanting to bother people with my problems. That's not gonna be fun, especially since I have a bunch of other problems I'm currently dealing with at the same time. It doesn't have to be all at once. Work on one problem at a time, that's easier than telling all your problems to people at once, because that can cause some amount of confusion, probably. Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 19 minutes ago, TheGiantDiaper said: It doesn't have to be all at once. Work on one problem at a time, that's easier than telling all your problems to people at once, because that can cause some amount of confusion, probably. I know, but it's still super overwhelming to me. I have no idea how to handle it all or in what order to do it in. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 18 hours ago, Peesephone said: I know, but it's still super overwhelming to me. I have no idea how to handle it all or in what order to do it in. That's fair. I'm not a therapist or someone like that so it's really not my place to tell you how to order them and stuff. It'd likely do you good to talk to like, an actual professional Link to comment
PeeGirl20 148 Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 38 minutes ago, TheGiantDiaper said: That's fair. I'm not a therapist or someone like that so it's really not my place to tell you how to order them and stuff. It'd likely do you good to talk to like, an actual professional Yeah, I'm currently working towards getting an actual therapist. Hopefully stuff will start working out once that happens. Link to comment
TheGiantDiaper 124 Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 1 hour ago, Peesephone said: Yeah, I'm currently working towards getting an actual therapist. Hopefully stuff will start working out once that happens. Good, I'm glad. That is a great step in the right direction. Link to comment
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