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  1. I'm not really sure which subforum this belongs in, so I figured I can't go wrong with 'general.' This is a short story I wrote specifically to be read by one of these newfangled AI voices. It's a young woman named Tess telling her therapist Amy about an embarrassing incident that she's been struggling to get over. I would tweak a few things about it if I could do it again, particularly some of the early dialogue and some of the late dialogue, and one missing word near the end, but this used up the entire free trial and I don't want to pay for this right now. I was at the mercy of the AI in terms of inflection, other than asking it to be 'less stable' and trying to coax it with the way I wrote the story, but I only got one shot and there are a couple points where it maybe put emphasis on slightly weird spots. Overall though, it's fantastic. Like, my GF isn't a very good actress, so I wouldn't be asking her to read this, but if I did, I'm pretty sure she as a real human who isn't very good at acting would not do as well as the AI did. I'll include the transcript, but this is really meant to be listened to. I also split it into two parts - part 1 is the vast majority of it, part 2 is a little epilogue that i crammed in to my tiny remaining free usage. Enjoy! ----------------- So... Yea. I've been dreading having to tell you this, but I guess I can't put it off any longer. It's been haunting me since the day it happened, I've lost all my self confidence, I just can't get what happened out of my head. Right, yea, well I was sitting at a nice restaurant with this guy Alex who I had just started dating. It was a really fancy Mediterranean place, you know, with like professionally folded white cloth napkins and a wine list a mile long. I felt a little overwhelmed just walking in, because it's not really my kind of restaurant, you know? Fanciest place my parents ever took me was like, olive garden. But Alex was being really nice so I just went with it. It felt like a really important date, like it if it went well we might be taking like, the next step in our relationship, so I was even more nervous than usual, since I was totally into him and I really wanted things to work. Anyway when the waiter asked if we wanted to start with drinks, at first I was just gonna get water, but Alex ordered a cocktail, so I said screw it, and I asked for a glass of white wine. I don't usually drink alcohol with dinner so it was kinda weird for me but I was trying to be fancy, you know, fit in and stuff, and I figured it would help me relax and loosen up a bit too. Doesn't seem like a big deal, right? Well the date was going really well. The wine really did help, I wasn't awkward at all, and we talked about a lot of more personal stuff that we hadn't gotten to in the first few dates. You know, family history, hopes and dreams and that kinda garbage... We even went off on a tangent about travel like we were like, already planning our get away together it felt like, so that was really exciting. Amy, seriously, I felt so comfortable with him that night, really happy and like he really 'got' me, like I really felt like the connection was there, and I think he did too. I drank my wine really fast, nervous habit I guess, so the waiter ended up asking if I wanted another glass, and I was like, shit, the first one went down great, why the hell not? Yea... Yea, big mistake. So the food took so long that it had barely arrived when the wine caught up with me. Things were getting a little fuzzy and I had to pee really bad out of nowhere, cuz alcohol goes right through me. No problem, I excused myself to go to the bathroom, a little embarrassing but no big deal. Had to ask the waiter where it was, again, awkward, but I handled it okay. So I get to the bathroom and I swear to god this would only happen to me, but there were like, at LEAST 3 people waiting in line. This was like a tiny, exclusive place, not that many tables, but somehow there's a fucking line for the bathroom right when I REALLY need to go. So I went back to the table, you know, at least keep Alex from thinking I'm avoiding him while I wait for the line. But that was probably stupid, because I was just acting like a drooling idiot, two glasses of wine deep and totally distracted by having to pee. And of course, I was nervous, so I just drank even MORE wine and... yea. So finally I get up and go back to the bathroom, and, you're not going to believe it, they'd put up a fucking out of order sign. Yea. The waitress was super apologetic - "Oh, someone flushed a tampon, we're so sorry, we'll get it fixed in a few minutes, sorry!" And of course I'm like "oh it's fine, I'm sorry about that, I'll just wait, no problem," when what I should have said was "girl I'm going to pee my fucking pants this is your restaurant find me a bathroom NOW!" But yea, instead my dumbass goes back to the table, and I'm just nodding at everything Alex is saying, trying to not to cry, never had to pee this bad in my life, trying to hold it without pee dancing like an 8 year old. Somehow we finish our food, and Alex pays, and I'm just so preoccupied trying not to pee myself that I don't even notice Alex is whispering something in my ear about where we're going. I had to ask him to repeat himself like a dweeb but I guess he didn't think I was being too weird still cuz he just took my hand and walked me out of the restaurant. So we walk for a few blocks, and I'm just thinking "Okay, Tess, what the fuck are you doing, why are you walking away from the bathroom when your bladder is about to explode..." But then we got to this private park that Alex apparently knew, and he let us in and we went down to this bench by a pond, and it really was super nice, there were these old fashioned street lamps so we could see each other and we just held hands and looked at the moon over the pond and yea, really nice. Like I almost want to cry remembering how nice it was. But at the time I could barely focus on anything he was saying, I was just so distracted by my bladder. But I was trying to act normal, you know, because I really was into him, and it really was a beautiful romantic spot that he took us. I guess he must have just thought I was really nervous, which I mean, I was, but not for the reason he probably thought. But he just kept saying the absolute sweetest things, and we started getting closer on the bench, and he put his arm around me, and I snuggled into him... And then he leaned in and kissed me, and... God, I'm gonna cry. It was so sweet, like seriously, I just melted, my heart pretty much just stopped and it was just perfect for a moment there. But yea... I guess you know this story doesn't have a happy ending, so, I better get on with it. I guess... Maybe what happened was I was just too caught up in the kiss... Or maybe the kiss didn't matter and I just couldn't hold it anymore no matter what. But yea, that was when I... when it happened. I mean, when I... pissed myself. Like, full on, could not stop peeing, totally soaked my jeans, running all the way down my legs, puddle on the sidewalk... the whole 9 yards. It was completely surreal, I was trying to like, cross my legs and act like it wasn't happening, and... God, it's sooo embarrassing, but I just tried to like, keep kissing him, like maybe we'd never stop kissing and he'd never notice that his date was peeing her pants like a psycho. But anyway that obviously didn't work, probably just made me look more deranged, cuz like, it was extremely obvious what was happening, you could hear the dripping, there was a gigantic stain on my jeans, there was a puddle, yea, not subtle. So Alex pulls back, and I can see in his eyes that he's just totally freaked out, like, what the hell is going on, is this chick crazy, or just drunk? Like, he clearly was thinking he might have to take me to the hospital or something, it was that bad. Meanwhile I was just sooo embarrassed, I just wanted to die, you know, like "God, if you're listening, could you please drop one of those streetlights on top of me and just fucking kill me so that I don't have to explain why I just peed my pants on this date." I don't think I even cried right away, I was just too stunned. I know Alex was asking me if I was okay or something like that, and honestly I have literally no idea what I said cuz what do you even say in this situation? "Yea, I'm fine, I just peed my pants, no big deal! Just uh... couldn't hold it I guess! No... noooo, no there's nothing WRONG with me! Just uh, you know, drank a little too much and uh, didn't quite make it to the bathroom!" Yea... Right. So anyway I was pretty much just frozen to the bench, totally humiliated, just completely dead inside, waiting to get hit by a meteor, and Alex was just sitting there, looking worried that he might need to stop me from running into the pond and drowning myself. But I guess eventually we must have had some kind of conversation, because he got me back to his car and drove me home, and the thing I remember most from that is that I had to sit on a fucking plastic bag so that I didn't get pee all over his nice car. But yea... so he took me home, and he even gave me a kiss goodnight, because I guess he was trying to not make things weird or whatever. And then he messaged me the next day to ask how I was doing, but obviously I didn't answer him, and yea, haven't talked to him since. ...Sooo yeah, that whole thing was almost a year ago, and I am so not over it. Every time I think about it, I feel so humiliated all over again, like I just want to move to a remote island somewhere away from civilization just to escape the shame. And I think about it a LOT you know, I mean, it's not like it's a particularly easy thing to forget. Like I WANT to forget but it's fucking impossible, any time I'm going out to eat, or any time I'm talking to a guy, or any time I have to pee and I'm not like, RIGHT next to a bathroom. I feel like I'm just walking everywhere with an invisible sign that says 'caution: will wet her pants.' I know it’s silly and irrational, but I just feel totally defined by this, like I would never have believed this could happen and it did, so now who knows what other disaster could happen. So yea, I haven't been on a real date since this happened, and I'm too scared to even go out with friends sometimes. Do you... Do you think you can help me? Epilogue: So, I followed your advice - I sent Alex a text where I said all the things you told me to, like I apologized for ghosting him, I told him how embarrassed I'd been about the whole thing, I told him nothing like that had ever happened to me before and I thought it was like... like that, you know, he wouldn't ever want to talk to me again, or even if he did I just couldn't... handle that because I didn't want to be that girl who pissed herself on like our third date, you know? And I said about the wine and bla bla bla, but anyway, he wrote me back the absolute sweetest text, like he really made me almost believe that it didn't matter to him and like I wasn't a total freak, and then, you're not going to believe it - he actually asked me out on another date! I'm gonna wear diapers for this one... that's a joke, but yea, I'm freaking out I'm so happy! You're a genius!!! tess story pt 1.mp3 tess story pt 2 epilogue.mp3
  2. Ey gang! Sorry for the extended delay between responses. I am currently going up to visit my folks for a bit, which means getting to responses and such on here might be a little harder for me to do (What with nosey parents as well as with spotty internet) but I wanted to at least post a little something that I've been drumming up in the mean time. I hope you will all enjoy it! Here is chapter 1 of a story I intend on continuing. Sam stood before the wooden door, her hand trembling slightly as she raised it to knock. Sam took a deep breath, steadying herself, and then rapped her knuckles gently against the door. A soft click sounded, followed by the door slowly swinging open. Ember stood there, a serene smile gracing her lips. Her warm brown eyes seemed to hold a depth of understanding that instantly put Sam at ease. She wore a flowing robe, its vibrant colors reminiscent of a sunset, and her long, wavy hair cascaded over her shoulders like a waterfall. "Sam," Ember greeted, her voice a soothing melody. "It's wonderful to see you. Please come in." Sam stepped across the threshold, her eyes momentarily glancing at the tranquil surroundings of Ember's office. Soft light spilled from the windows, casting gentle shadows on the room's cozy furniture and book-lined shelves. The air held a hint of calming incense, mingling with the comforting scent of chamomile. Taking a seat on a plush armchair, Sam fidgeted with her hands in her lap. A wave of anxiousness and nerves overcame her, her words tumbling in her mind like leaves caught in a gentle breeze. She closes her eyes, remembering what Ember had taught her in her last session. She took a deep breath, held it, and released it to distill the violent maelstrom of her thoughts. Finally, she mustered the courage to speak. "I’m…I’m s-sorry for coming here on such short notice. I just-. I-It’s been happening a lot more lately. I don’t quite know why. I just don’t feel quite like myself anymore." Sam said, her voice carrying a hint of vulnerability. Ember crossed one leg over the other as she stirred her tea with a metal spoon. The sound of the spoon hitting the bottom of the small cup hung in the air as Sam’s shoulders continued to drop down. “I was wondering if, Maybe you could take me under again. Maybe look inside my head, see if something is there.” Ember's expression softened, and she placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, her touch gentle and grounding. “Of Course Sam. I would be delighted to be able to help you. How about we start…right…now” As her hand made contact, a faint warmth seemed to radiate through Sam's body, spreading from the point of contact and gradually enveloping her. Time seemed to slow, the room fading into a distant blur. Sam’s eyes glazed over before rolling to a close as her head fell forward. Ember smiles, leaning back into her chair slowly as Sam leans back into her chair, her chin touching into her collar bone as she drifts into an even deeper trance. Ember’s eyes wander over Sam’s figure, falling briefly onto the bright blue jeans she wore. Only, they were not quite bright anymore. “This aught to be fun.” Ember says with a wide smile.
  3. Hello, friends! I don't find myself here too often these days (it's that I'm busy more than anything), but I definitely appreciate its existence. Kudos to the people that make it happen! I am working on a Bachelor's level thesis in Psychology and International Studies with a focus on facilitators of health in the sexualities of those who experience paraphilia. It, obviously, is a topic near and dear to my heart, so you guys were the first people I thought I'd reach out to about helping me understand the topic outside of my personal experience and what the latest research is suggesting. Stay tuned for more opportunities to tell me about your experience if this thread doesn't apply to you (I may even poke around for people willing to participate in a more in depth interview at a later time). I have been looking into the various ways psychologists are treating paraphilic disorder (in short, when a non-normative sexual interest harms oneself or others)* . The most common treatments are behavioral and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and androgen deprivation therapy (ADT) (but do respond if you've used another form of treatment!). There is a host of information available from the perspectives of clinicians and therapists who have treated people with these techniques (if you are interested in reading up on it, I would be thrilled to send you some of the research I've been looking at) but I haven't yet found any stories from people who have been treated. I wonder if this is one of the reasons the question of what effective treatment would be for paraphilic disorder remains unanswered. So. Here are my questions. Answer any or all of them and give only as much detail as you're comfortable with (this isn't meant to be a formal survey). If I have any desire to use your perspective in my writing I will ask your permission directly and give you as much information as you'd like about the context it would be used in (and please say no if that's not okay with you!), otherwise assume anything you say will only be used to educate me (and whoever else is following along) on the kinds of experiences people have with treatment. Have you sought the help of a doctor, clinician, psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, religious leader or otherwise qualified** individual with the intention of working on something related to your non-normative sexual interests (doesn't have to be omorashi related)? Were you referred by someone? Obliged to undergo treatment? What were your goals? Did it feel like you and those working with you had the same goals? What was the treatment like for you? How long did you undergo it? If you have stopped now, why? In what ways has it helped you? Not helped you? Would you recommend it to someone having a similar experience? Why/why not? Are there things you thought people could have done better? I can only imagine that some of these experiences could be rather traumatizing, so please reach out over private message if you'd like to share through there or over email. My priority is hearing from people as they are ready to speak to this issue. If you have any questions at all about the work I'm doing don't hesitate to ask. I would be happy to get in touch with you over private message. Thank you so much for your time and willingness to share and have a lovely day! HG *This is not to imply that any significant population in this community have this sort of experience or that this is the only experience of those with a non-normative sexual interest. I'm living proof of that one 😉 **In the sense that either you believe they are/were and/or that they have some sort of certification, not necessarily that they are/were equipped to address these issues well. If you happen to be a practitioner who has experience providing this kind of care, it's worth saying that I would also love to hear from you! Perhaps over private message, though? Thanks again. HG
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