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  1. I'm sure someone else has tried a story like this, but hey. The idea popped into my head and I had to give it a try. Enjoy! ------------------------------ “I gotta pee.” “A classic for a reason. So straightforward, so simple—yet lacking in style.” “I gotta go.” “Another straightforward one. I think what we’re looking for here is more pop.” “I’m about to pop.” “Hah. No points for that one. Still, build on that.” “I’m gonna explode.” “Definitely a bit more visual, but it seems a bit (dare I say it) derivative?” “My back teeth are floating.” “Highly visual, yet the visual is gross. …Out of ideas already?” “Shut up, I’m thinking.” “Oh, sorry. I can wait.” “I can’t wait.” “I guess I walked into that one. Not bad, though.” “Mmmhmm. …Oh! I gotta pee like a racehorse.” “Now that’s interesting. A striking image indeed. It does conjure up the idea of you on all fours…” “That could be arranged.” “Sassy.” “Darn straight. Gotta take a slash.” “Not on this side of the Atlantic, my dear.” “Then I suppose ‘I need to spend a penny’ or ‘I need a wee’ won’t work either?” “Indeed not.” “I need relief.” “That sounds more like a military term than sexy talk. …Oh, have we moved on to non-verbals?” “Well, do you like it?” “Crossed legs are absolute vintage desperation. A true standard. B-plus.” “Oh, come on!” “Nothing wrong with a B-plus! You should definitely cross your legs. But without anything else to back that up, it starts to fall a little flat. One-note.” “B-flat, in fact.” “Hah! I see what you did there.” “I’m desperate.” “Another B-plus. I like it, for sure, but can you build on it?” “I’m really desperate.” “A simple intensifier. It shouldn’t be so effective—and yet it is.” “An A?” “A-minus. But that one’s a keeper.” “I’m dying to pee.” “No dying allowed, dear one, unless it’s the little death. I do like the double-crossed legs, though. A nice touch.” “I’m bursting.” “Ahhh. Now that’s the good stuff. Just three syllables, yet so expressive. Definitely an A.” “I’m gonna wet my pants.” “No, no. Sorry. For some folks, that would be A-plus; but for me it’s an F.” “Can I say I’m gonna piss myself?” “If you were naked, that could be quite effective, actually. So yes, situationally.” “How’s this?” “Ah, the crotch-grab. Yes, definitely—but again, it’s situational. You don’t start out with the crotch-grab, you have to work up to that. You have to earn it.” “I’m trying to earn it.” “And I think you’re succeeding admirably. The grab does seem a little schoolgirl. But it’s just so effective at getting the point across.” “I gotta go so bad.” “You’re repeating yourself, my dear. But the intensifier did help—and your facial expression sold it. You’re really putting a lot into this! “Wait, you haven’t figured it out yet?” “Figured what out?” “Everything I’ve said so far is true. I really do need to pee.” “Right now?” “Right now.” “Oh… oh, my.” “And you’re just standing there critiquing, not even getting turned on…!” “Trust me, that’s changing in a hurry.” “I can’t hold it much longer.” “That’s an A for sure.” “Can I go now? Please?” “And… we have… a winner! The expression… the phrasing… bending over…” “No, really, can I?” “Just… another… minute…” “I’m gonna flood the carpet!” “Great… descriptive phrase. But please… don’t do it… for real…” “I can’t hold it!” “Quick! The kitchen. And panties… off.” “Can I go now?” “Oh, my love, my love… yes, yes, yes…” “Ah! Ahhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm…” “I take it back. That’s the winner.” “I made a puddle.” “More than one, dear heart. Look what you’ve done for me.” “Good!” “Come here and kiss me, lover.” “I’m covered in my own pee.” “That’s a good one too. And I know you meant it. Kiss me anyway, I don’t care. Don’t worry about it, I’ll clean up.” “I love you.” “Right back at you. So deeply. What do you need?” “I would really love a long hot shower right now.” “Go for it.” “And someone to wash my legs.” “But of course.” “And then cuddles for hours. That was hard.” “I have nothing but admiration for you, dear heart. Your lovely inner muscles worked so hard indeed.” “I meant the vocabulary.” “That was pretty impressive too.”
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