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I've been into this ever since I can remember. I have vague recollections from my kindergarten years where a kid who was in my class wet himself and I was very interested in it. When I was in elementary school a saw the aftermath of many wetting and I remember being very fascinated with them. I also discovered masturbation very early on: whenever I had to pee, I would play around with myself and it felt really good. I would often lay down on floor, face down, hands in my pants and just enjoy the feeling that a full bladder mixed with genital manipulation gave me. Of course I was totally oblivious to what I was doing. I had a hunch it was something dirty, something "not ok", and never discussed the subject with any adult. I think that might be what cemented the connection between urine and sexuality for me. But it still doesn't explain why I'm specifically into wetting and not just pee. I also remember that were some times when I was interested in both boys and girls wetting their pants, but boys soon took over as the main focus of my interest. I had my own share of wetting accidents as a kid, but nothing out of the ordinary. I was never known as the pee pee pants kid. But I remember I was already fantasizing about my own accidents not too long after they'd happened. When I grew up and entered middle school I started exploring my sexuality and that's when I realized I was something different from the other guys in my class. They were talking about girls and how hot they were, boobs, vaginas, I-fuck-your-mom jokes and all of that middle school silliness, exploring their own developing heterosexuality. I felt lost because I knew girls didn't interest me, but I felt even more lost because I had this deep secret I couldn't tell. I liked boys wetting themselves. That's the only thing I was sure of. But I still didn't know it was a sexual thing. On top of that, I was a pretty regular kid with regular kid interests and hobbies, I liked cars and videogames, didn't talk with a lisp and my wrists weren't limp, so it never dawned on me that I was gay. Even though I was suddenly falling in love with half of my male classmates lol. I know it sounds silly, but that's how stereotypes work in the mind of a middle schooler from 2009 who never knew gay guys could be anything other than trash-tv queens and men who dressed up as women. [I hope my words don't offend anyone. This is just to show how I felt about it back in the day, in the deep recesses of the closet. I love every gay guy no matter how masculine or feminine he is, limp-wristed or not lol. Now back to the story!] I spent the whole prima media year [6th grade] fantasizing about boys wetting their pants in every possible way. I had an old dumb phone that I would use to record tracks of myself becoming vocally desperate and wetting myself in front of the boys I liked. Sometimes it would be the opposite, creating scenarios where the boys I liked would pee their pants and I would react to that. I had an English textbook with little introductory scenes for each lesson unit that had pictures of boys that I found really attractive. Well... I would take a pencil and draw a piss pattern on their pants. Sometimes I would even add a comment from their point of view like "Oh no I pissed myself!" or "oh shit I hope nobody founds out I peed my pants!" Inside a little comic bubble. Lol This until 2010 rolls around. I'm in seconda media [7th grade] and my dad finally decides to have a Wi Fi connection installed in our house. Prior to that, I had no way of accessing the internet. I'm excited but I'm also a bit scared. I didn't know what this secret of mine was about. For all I knew, it might have been a mental illness and I the only person suffering from it in the world. So one day I decide to google something along the lines of "I love pissing my pants" after a similar search in Italian had yielded poor results. And that's how I came across Mikisit's Tumblr page. I couldn't believe my eyes. A treasure trove full of pictures and videos of guys wetting their pants. My hormones were going crazy. But more importantly, Mikisit's Tumblr page made me realize what my secret really was: a sexual fetish. A kink. And I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HAD IT! This was a big relief for me, but at the same time it instilled a big fear into me: does this actually mean that... I'm gay? I had my dark moments where I tried to abstain from the fetish in the hopes that it would go away. This would always end in catastrophic failure, since my abstinence only made the inevitable relapse ever so sweeter. At the same time I would try to watch "straight and normal" porn, masturbate to "straight and normal" porn, fantasize about girls... and I reckon I could have fallen asleep faster than getting even mildly aroused. "Straight and normal" porn was the most boring and uninspiring thing there was for me. But then there were also times when the fear of being gay subsided for a while, and that's when I got the courage to wet myself on purpose for the first time. I remember I put on an old pair of briefs I had laying around in my closet, and with a full bladder I hopped inside the shower and... nothing would come out. My brain was stopping me from wetting myself. I'd tried wetting my briefs with water a couple of days before, and it was very exciting. Now i was more excited than ever, but I just couldn't let go. I had to concentrate... And concentrate... And concentrate... When it finally happened. I let it go. I wet myself. I was more excited than I'd ever been. The whole experience just felt ecstatic. How could something this weird, this unusual, this frowned upon feel so damn good? I felt like new doors of perception had been opened to me. As time went by, I became more and more familiar with what the internet had to offer in terms of male omorashi. Mikisit's Tumblr blog and the rest of Tumblr's goodness, the great stories on Experience Project, Yahoo Answers and, of course, Omorashi.org . The good old wetting videos on YouTube and Vimeo. Anything I could lay my hands (or rather, my clicks) on. The years went on and in terza superiore (10th grade) I feel deeply in love with a guy in my class. Another one in the great series of my teenage years' unrequited loves. We had a fight and when our friendship died down it made me feel so sad that I remember crying hidden in my room. This event led me to an epiphany. As if by magic, I suddenly realized I was gay. Now the world made sense. That special interest that I'd had for boys, that was because I was gay. The funny feeling in my tummy when I was with him, that was being in love. And me liking guys wetting themselves... That was also because I was gay. Once I figured it out, I accepted it right away. I'm gay and that's fine. But I still had a problem. I still hadn't fully accepted my fetish. It felt weird that i was able to come out to people, to tell them I was gay, but still had trouble accepting omorashi. The thing is, omorashi is not a secondary thing for me. It is the primary force of my sexuality. It is what really gets my motor going. There is nothing in the world of sex that excites me as much as omorashi does. How could I find my way in the dating world when all my potential partners wanted dick picks, ass picks and talked about anal penetration and being a top or a bottom, when deep inside I wanted to tell them "actually I don't really care about penetrating you or you penetrating me but I would sure love if you could piss your pants for me"? This is a crucial question and it's what stopped me from finding a sexual partner many times. Over the years I finally accepted who I was fully, including my omorashi side. I got more and more brave with my wetting exploits, which I will tell you about in detail in the future. But getting an omorashi partner is always hard. I tried mentioning wetting to people and was ghosted many times. There seem to be fetishes like BDSM, masochism, and foot play that are well known and less taboo to talk about, but omorashi is not. With perseverance I managed to find somebody who would try omorashi for me, and it was a very nice experience. I also got to know a few people who share my passion for wetting, and that was very nice too. But many steps have yet to be made for our community. I want to end this post saying that if you ever feel like your wetting fetish is wrong, don't worry. It's not. You are what you are. It's nobody's choice, nor fault. Wetting your pants feels good and hurts no one! Plus it's also pretty tame and soft-core compared to many other fetishes, so there really is no reason to feel ashamed and to live in denial. As always, feel free to comment, share your thoughts and ideas etc. I really love reading from you and interacting with you. I really hope you enjoyed this read and found it worthwhile.