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Showing results for tags 'shenanigans'.
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Hi everyone! Its me again. I haven't been really writing as of late but its 2 am and I'm on a sort of tired whim, so don't blame me if this isn't as well written as my others.~ So as a lot of you may know, I'm recently into a new relationship with a lovely girl who's name I won't be giving out. Luckily, this isn't 30 years ago so I won't be beaten to death in public for dating another girl, but on the flipside of that we get ogled by everything in the vicinity whenever we're the slightest bit affectionate in public so ehhh... But anyway, she's lovely, I love her to death and I could honestly ramble on all day about how great she is, but this is very specifically not the place to do that. The important thing is she lives a bit...far off, so I don't get to see her nearly as often as I'd like to. So even though we're both kinda the stay shut in and cuddle and watch netflix/play video games all day types, whenever we get together we decide to put a little effort into at least getting up and doing SOMETHING, you know? So she decided to take me to...a club. I'd never been to one before, and she'd only been dragged by friends. She insisted it would be fun though, because where I am isn't the most densely populated place on earth, and even though neither of us are overly social she was of the mindset that if we just stayed out of the center of the action and found a spot to hang out in, we'd be fine. But juuust in case we dragged along two of my friends who WERE social to bite the conversation-leading bullet in case we were approached by any predatory club-goers (because that's what like, 50% of them are there for if I'm correct.) It is here that one of my infamous mishaps occurred, because I apparently cannot be trusted around liquid if I want to do anything. (Kidding :P) So, obligatory description bit, you know the drill. I'm too pale for comfort, my raven-black hair only exacerbating this to the point if I hear one more pale joke I'll throw up, but I actually did put a teal streak in it...I'm thinking I might dye it red at some point. Throw me in the like, 5'5-5'7 range and I haven't weighed in awhile, but under 110 (I need to eat more.) On this day, it being a hot summer day which I can't deal with because I'm Canadian and I don't like warm, I was wearing a black tank top and white tight fitting shorts, because due to the way women's clothing works, anything baggy enough for my comfort slides off my tiny frame and even though I have cute belts and stuff I don't want to wear them every single day of my life until the day I die. So we were at this club. Luckily it wasn't nearly as loud or crowded as movies make it out to be, but a secret VIP section with hot-tubs and Russian mobsters is still unknown, will investigate further. As my lovely waifu predicted, we were able to find a boothy-thing in the corner and just chill out. And as most people do at these places...We began to drink. Drink, and chat, and drink, and chat. We'd cycle through the four of us who would go get various rounds of drinks, and I'd rush my bit the most because I don't like being alone without people I know in places with strange people. So I'd go, grab the drinks, come back, and resume chatting, regardless of how some people in IRC think I don't want to chat. Eventually I began to see that my darling wifey and the other two would occasionally take a minute or two longer than expected. Upon inquiry, I found out they had been taking bathroom breaks because, well, we WERE drinking very copious amounts of fluid, and also becoming very intoxicated. It was probably due to the intoxication and the fact that I hadn't, as the kids say, "broken the seal" yet that I hadn't noticed that holy shit I need to pee. I reflexively crossed my legs and dug my nails into the side of my leg as it jumped straight to the forefront of my mind. If you ever want to know how someone can go from completely fine to desperate in a single moment, it appears alcohol and confusion are key factors. I tried to shove the worry out of my mind, as I always do, and even try to enjoy it given my enthusiasm for the subject. As you know, this usually leads to me delaying, and as such, usually leads to incidents, which in turn, usually ends up in me writing on here. Usually. But even though for once, this occurred to me, I was a little nervous to get up. I really must push the fact that while on the internet I talk and yell a lot, I have really bad social anxiety in real life and tend to keep to myself. This was a strange new environment filled with strange new people. I didn't even know where the damn bathroom was. So I just decided to deal with it for a bit, and wait until it was my turn to fetch the drinks. Everyone else made detours to the bathroom on those trips, so it must have been within reasonable detour distance from the bar. While going to the bathroom before buying drinks is an automatic action for most, given my issues, I had to plan strategically. Because you know, I'm not smart enough to do the reasonable thing and just get up and go. So one round passes. I feel the urge, and my bladder, increasing in intensity. I start to rock a little in my seat, which I attributed to the drunkenness and giddiness when asked. Another round passes. I can feel a pressure now. The urge is one thing, you know what I mean? Just signals to the brain. But an actual physical feeling of pressure is when you know things are getting serious. I snake a hand between my crossed legs whenever the other 3 in the booth are sufficiently distracted enough, while I continue to sip on my drinks because I'm an idiot, but this time I can blame my idiocy on the fact that at this point I was full on drunk. And so, I got drunker and drunker as said events went on. I would be a black belt in drunken fist by the end of this night. Round 3, I'm basically dying. My girlfriend can tell somethings wrong and she asks if I'm sick because I'm just there, obviously sweating, legs crossed and rocking, but I just say my stomach is unsettled and I need to walk a bit, and then put on an act pretending I was just then having the idea to fetch the next round to kill two birds with one stone! I stand up....and nearly fall over. Right. The alcohol. I walk in the direction of the bar, if you could call it walking. I hobble, legs kind of together, holding myself whenever I'm in a spot people wouldn't be paying attention to, and I frantically look around somewhere, anywhere for a bathroom. I spot one off to the right of the bar, and I immediately head inside. The sight of the queues make my stomach drop, and I feel myself dribble into my underwear from the momentary shock. Upon seeing that multiple of the women have noted my presence, I decide I don't want the attention and slip back out of the door, and lean against the wall before holding myself a bit, focusing on stopping the dribble. I succeeded though, very luckily, and I checked myself expertly like I had done so many times before in my life. Fortunately my shorts were dry, though I could definitely feel the dampness in my underwear. I won't lie, I started to panic a little, but I told myself I could wait for the queues to disperse; if everyone I was with had been able to go earlier and not be too long, this must've just been a busy time. But I also had to pick up the drinks! So like the dutiful person I am, I did so and brought them back. I did the smart thing and tried to act natural, while avoiding touching my drink...which my girlfriend took note of but I insisted I was fine. That was a total lie of course; I'm certain my shaking was probably visible. Regardless nobody questioned it, probably being too smashed to actually think logic based thoughts or observe anything off. I sat there, wondering how long it would take 10 or 12 women to go through 4 stalls..and I sat. And I wondered. And I leaked. And I...what? My thoughts snapped back to my throbbing bladder and I realized my control was beginning to slip. I shoved my hand between my legs trying to stop it and control myself, but the sudden movement just caused me to spurt instead, and I could feel the warmth against my fingertips. I clutched, hard, feeling the white fabric go damp against my crotch. And the warmth came forth again. And again. And I began to panic as I realized I was slowly beginning to pee in my shorts right there in the booth. Luckily, given I had gotten up earlier, I was on the outside of the seat. I took off without another word. I do not recall if I heard anyone call after me, but I know nobody immediately followed. I hobbled past, dribbling once or twice more into my shorts before I found a spot to once again, feel and check...and my crotch was very, very damp. I began panicking even more, and even MORE when I looked towards the only bathroom I knew of and saw the queue had not shrunk, but grown! This is when my usual mindset came into place. Hyper focus. Point of no return, what was to be done? Where else might a bathroom be? Just the thought of that made me dribble more. I wouldn't be surprised if some hit the floor, but given my hidden away position near a wall, towards a corner, in a low-light environment such as this, nobody saw my situation from what I could see; in fact I didn't see a single person look in my direction. Most people were drunk and on the dance floor lost in their on little worlds. That's when for whatever reason, I figured that a bathroom might be near the entrance, and without a second thought that's where I headed. Naturally I got there and there was none in sight...And I no longer had time to look around, I realized, as I leaned against a wall, a wave of pure need to release just washing over me...I felt my crotch go warm, and some urine run down my thigh. I saw a drop hit the floor and I ran. I ran out the entrance, and made a break for the south side of a building...It was facing a hill, was dark, and opposite the side that had the parking lot. Nobody was there, and but a single light that I stood under, my head against the side of the building as I drunkenly tried to undo my button on my shorts. And I tried. And I tried. It only got harder as I had to suddenly shove my hand into the crotch of my shorts, the need to release hitting me like a truck once again. My head against the wall was the only thing holding me up..And I couldn't undo that damn button, even as I started losing control. Now that I was in the light, I could see the damp spot on my shorts suddenly and violently expand from beneath my hand, a hand that was instantly warm and soaked. I slammed my legs together, frantically rubbing them together and bouncing while applying pressure with my hand, trying to stop the flow as I loudly moaned in a mixture of desperate, frantic despair and ever-needed relief. I managed to slow it, but not stop it, just as I got the button unstuck. Very ironically, the sudden expansion of bladder space was like a trigger, and I immediately, full on, burst. Let me tell you, like a glass tipping over. I didn't think to try yanking my shorts down, I immediately stuck my free hand between my legs with the other, as I felt my pee shoot out of me, soaking both my hands as I felt pee spread all across the front of my shorts (likely due to the position of my hands) and all around my ass began to feel warm as well, urine cascading down my legs onto the ground, as I just moaned in...I don't even know what anymore, just all the sensations were too much and I couldn't stay silent. As always, I fought to the bitter end, constantly bouncing and jiggling and making what were probably way too erotic noises, as I threw my legs into every damn position I could, trying to repair a dam that had already collapsed from its cracks. Leave it to me to fight a long since lost battle, obvious given the state of my clothes and the puddle on the ground, like I would if I still hadn't lost a drop. But eventually, I was standing there in soaked shorts, with soaked legs, empty, and to be honest, exhausted. I did a long loop around the building and back to the lot where we kept the car, staying on the outer edges to avoid the light. Once I reached the car, I got my really big hoodie out of the passenger side and tied it around my waist, and just kinda leaned against the car for a bit. I think I could have honestly fallen asleep standing up against the car, because you know, liquor, before I was suddenly woken up by my girlfriend, who had come looking for me out there when she couldn't find me inside. She asked me if I was okay, etc, which was perfectly fine other than the fact that she had an arm on the car on each side of me and was reaaal close to my face. Upon getting confirmation I was okay, her lips were immediately on mine, and I was about to be equally as receiving given even I realize that alcohol = friskiness, but I also realized that I couldn't let her touch the bottom half of me right now under any circumstance, so I suddenly feigned ill (again) and asked if she'd fetch the other two because I just wanted to go home and watch a movie. She agreed that we'd been out awhile anyway, and very determinedly and dutifully set off to do so (god she's awesome) and I just sat in the passenger seat, on my sweater that was still tied to me...and I dozed off. When I woke up we were back home, and first moment I could I ran up and changed, throwing my clothes (and sweater) into the laundry as I put on my pajamas. My memory is hazy due to the buzz of the night, but I'm PRETTY sure I got off scot-free, as I tend to. Before anyone asks, none of us drove; There was a friend down the street, visiting another friend, who lived in an apartment a few buildings down from the club. She was just waiting on a phone call. Anyway, that's my story! Did you like it? Tell me what you liked and didn't like, I'm always looking to improve, even when I'm lazily writing at what is now 4:30 am (procrastination and stuff made the writing of this take 2 and a half hours holy shit -.-) As always, I love you all, you're amazing :) Feel free to leave various responses or even shoot a message my way! I really hope my writing continues to be well received. ^^~ OTHER TALES OF KOZMOFOX: Wet myself while gaming (And nearly got caught!) Peed my Pants While Doing Photography (And possibly trespassing) Two Wettings the Night Before Christmas. Wet myself outside of the bathroom Peed my Pants in a Haunted Maze! Pissed myself while drunk at a friend's apartment! Wet myself at the University (Oh my god I don't remember embedded links taking up so much space LOL: got rid of the embeds for less scrolling) Various edits because every time I look over this I find a minor error