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Hello, all. This is the second-to-last of the Meagan and Parker stories. I've written so many by now, I'm not going to link any here. I've begun writing the finale; then after a little work on the file (and writing some "extras") I'll post the whole "Housemates" series -- "Season 3" -- and also bundle the entire Meagan-and-Parker Saga together. The first half of this particular story is almost entirely about the two of them and their relationship. If you're primarily here for the "good stuff," scroll down the second post. If you're like me and are rather invested in these two kids, the first part's for you. "Based on a true story" is a total cliche, and this one is so very loosely based on true tales that it barely qualifies. But I did get locked out once, and a water fight did ensue. No peeing was involved. ------------------------------------------------- There was a swing in the front yard of Franklin House, a standard ropes-and-knots-and-wooden-board affair. It hadn’t gotten a ton of use in the winter, but the days were warm now, very warm for April. The nights had still been chilly—until tonight, when the sun had been down for over an hour but the air still felt like it was shining. After the cold of winter, it felt like summer had come. And summer was indeed about to come: in three weeks finals would come, and in four, Meagan would graduate. After the thaw during Spring Break, they’d been better to each other. More time together, especially for meals. More sex—tender, cautious, this-relationship-is-made-out-of-fragile-glass-so-for-fuck’s-sake-be-careful sex, but still sex. More stress, too, for both of them, but they were dealing with it a little better. (Largely by having fragile-glass sex.) Less of Zephyr, thank god. No kink at all, though, for either of their quirks. No talking, either. Not about the future. Tonight—a Tuesday night, quiet and warm, nothing much up—Parker was sitting on the swing, not really swinging at all (it was hard to get it going) but enjoying the hint of summer in the air, and trying not to think about what was going to happen in four weeks. The screen door banged shut behind him, and footsteps crunched on the gravel, then went silent as whoever it was stepped onto the grass. Hands slid around his waist. “Hey,” he said. “Hey,” Meagan said. “Wanna go for a walk?” “Sure. It’s a lovely night.” She slid her arm through his. She didn’t do that often—a lot of times she preferred to walk without touching him at all, since she said he walked too slow for her. Tonight she was moving at a leisurely pace. It was warm enough for t-shirts but not shorts, apparently; she had a beat-up old college shirt on over her even more battered jeans and sneakers. Her knees poked through the holes. She had her hair down. They walked in silence for a few blocks, headed away from the main streets into a quiet neighborhood. The sidewalks were well-lit but the streets were lined with trees, and so the streetlights shone through the spring leaves and fresh blossoms, casting intricate shadows. After a couple of blocks, she said, “So I’ve been thinking.” “Mm?” “And I talked with Dr. Vince a bit, too.” “What about?” “Us. You and me, I mean.” Parker nodded. He felt like they were no longer handling that fragile glass with care but starting to juggle it. Still, it had to be done. “Parker?” “Yeah?” “What do you want?” “From you?” “From me, from the relationship…” He thought about it for a while—and then said the first thing that had come into his head. “I want you to show up.” “Couldja make that a little more vague for me?” she teased him, gently. “It’s a little too clear right now.” “For a while now, it seems like you’ve been so focused on the future that you’re forgetting the present. Forgetting us. I never want to stand in your way, I’ve said that a lot. And it’s true. But you’ve been putting so much time into yourself and your future and not really talking about it with me. I mean—it’s your future. I get that. But maybe it could be our future. And I feel like you’re just assuming it won’t be. That we can’t last. Or that you can’t get to that future if you slow down and show up for me.” She nodded. “Mmkay. What would showing up look like?” “Time,” he said promptly. “It’s been better since Spring Break. But earlier this semester you were all about working in the library until it closed down, then getting up and working out and getting to class early. And then essays on the weekends. I want… I want to talk to you again. Make fun of bad movies with you again. I want to cook with you, work out with you—” he glanced around at the empty front porches they were passing, then added in lower tones, “—And I want to make love to you. A lot.” She grinned. “What do you want?” he asked. “I want you to keep asking me that question,” she said promptly. “Thank you. I’ve got another question or two for you in a second, but I’ll answer yours now. I want…” She looked up at the tree they were passing under. It was in full bloom, and smelled marvelous. “Mmm. That’s a lovely scent. I want a lot. Mostly, as you know, I want to be well away from my past. I want to learn how to help people like me. But I want you there with me as I do. You’re my bedrock, love. I know I haven’t been showing it nearly enough. But I’d never have made it this far without you.” “I didn’t know that.” “Yeah. I should have said. I know I’ve been gone way too much. But every late night, as I was dragging my ass out of the library, all I wanted to do was curl up next to you. There was definitely a whole essay I got done on time just because I was promising myself, ‘Finish this up so you can go back to Parker.’ ” “Awww,” he said. “Mmmhmm. I know I can trust you, that’s so huge for me. I’ve taken a bit too much advantage of that—I haven’t showed up, like you’re saying. But, if you’ll allow me to make it a kind of twisted compliment, the only reason I did it was because I knew I could trust you absolutely.” “Heh. Thanks? I think?” “And all those things you said—I want all of that too. Plus road trips, real road trips. I want to go all over the country with you. See real mountains. Touch the ocean.” “ ‘Mountains, Gandalf!’ ” “Exactly. And I want you next to me every step of the way.” She dropped her voice a little as well. “And I wanna make love to you too. And I wanna fuck you until you explode. Just to be clear.” “Much appreciated.” “So. Next question: what do you need?” “Time,” he said again, just as immediately. “Time with you. And trust.” “You don’t trust me?” “I trust you to be honest with me, to be faithful to me, but I haven’t quite been able to trust that you’re gonna stay with me.” “So you want commitment.” “Yeah. That’s the word.” “Mmmkay.” “That and talking. We have not talked enough.” “So true.” “And fucking.” “Most definitely.” “Your turn.” “Yup. I need freedom. I need to be able to go where I want. I’ve been so scared of getting trapped that any kind of commitment scared me. When you started getting nervous about UCLA or University of Washington, I started wanting to go there even more. To get out of the trap. I mean,” she added hastily, “you are so not a trap. But that’s how I’ve been feeling for so long, you know? Long before I met you? My dad didn’t want me to go to college. My uncle didn’t want me to go to this college. My mom tried to sabotage me so I’d have to come home. So when you started making scared noises about the West Coast schools, I felt all that all over again: ‘He’s not letting me go.’ ” “Oh. Oh, shit. I am so sorry. I never meant that.” “Oh, of course! I knew that, even then. It’s just… well, the brain knows, but the heart feels, and the heart’s got more practice.” “That is… a darn good line. You see? This is why I want to spend the rest of my life talking with you.” She chuckled. “Thank you. I never said anything about it because I knew what you meant… but I still felt trapped. So that’s what I need: freedom. And you need commitment.” “Those don’t have to be opposites.” “Yeah! That’s exactly what Dr. Vince said… okay, let me back up.” She took a deep breath. “After Spring Break things have been better, yeah?” “Mmhmm.” “Well, for me too—or I thought so. Until something broke in class yesterday. I can’t even remember what it was. It was only barely connected to all this. But I just broke down. We’ve been tiptoeing around the issue, and I couldn’t face it any more. Couldn’t face going home to you and dancing around it. “And then everyone was looking at me funny because, well, Meagan doesn’t cry, she just doesn’t. So I just about ran out of the room when Dr. Vince asked me to wait. He dismissed the class early and sat me down and we talked and talked and talked.” “That’s why you missed lunch yesterday? You said you were talking to him, but…” “Yup. I wasn’t quite ready to talk to you about it all—I had to think about it first. He asked me what I wanted, and what I needed, and then he said something I’ve never heard before. He said, ‘There are really three factors in a relationship: what you need, what your partner needs, and what the relationship needs. What does your relationship with Parker need?’ ” “What did you say?” “Well, I think I said ‘Huh?’ ‘cause I didn’t get it at first, but then I started figuring it out. I’ve been treating it all as a ‘who wins’ thing. Do I get what I need, or do you get what you need? As if it couldn’t be both. But the relationship needs something else again.” “What does it need?” “Well, what do you think?” “I don’t even know where to start.” “That’s why I had to wait a day before I had this conversation. To figure it out. Here’s what I think: it needs commitment. But not the kind you’ve been asking for.” “Huh?” “Honey, when you talk about the future, you talk about forever. And that ain’t happening. One way or another, this’ll end. I hope it’ll be a long time from now, but this’ll end someday. We don’t know when. And when we try to push it past the time it should end, well—that’s when bad things happen. Especially if it ended because one of us is dead and the other one’s going full-on ‘Monkey’s Paw’.” Parker laughed. “Fair enough. But what kind of commitment do you mean, then?” “Well, one more thing before I get to that: when you talk about forever, that’s when I start to feel trapped again. Trapped in a nice place, but still trapped. So that’s part of the freedom I need: not talking about forever.” “Okay.” “The kind of commitment I do mean, though, is a lot like what you said earlier about showing up. Commitment as in being all-in. Like the old saying: for bacon and eggs, ‘The chicken was involved, but the pig was committed.’ I don’t know when we’ll be over, hon. But I’m through with half-assing this. Like I was already halfway out the door. Not when all I want to do at the end of the day is be next to you. “So yeah,” she continued, “a lot more time together. Dr. Vince recommended that we make some commitments about time. And keep our promises. But you gotta do something for the relationship too, hon.” “What?” “You have got to stop moping. When I got super-busy, you just… took it. And moped. You didn’t complain, you didn’t get mad, but I could tell you were upset. But you never said anything!” “I’m not sure that’s totally true…” “Yeah, probably. But we didn’t talk the way we needed to. So when I start to veer off, when you’re not getting enough, what the relationship needs from you is speaking up.” “Okay. I’ll try.” “ ‘Do or do not. There is no—’ ” “All right, all right! I’ll do it.” “Good.” She took a deep breath. “Last things. Biggest things.” “I’m listening.” “The last, biggest thing we need to do is compromise about the future.” “Okay…” “What you need to compromise on—no, wait. That’s not the right way to say it, it’ll just make you mad. Hang on…” “Hangin’.” They turned another corner at random and kept walking as Meagan thought. “’Kay. Let me try it this way. I’ve always said I didn’t want to make you follow me. But Dr. Vince pointed out that this is the time in people’s lives when people do that for each other, if they want to. So: would you follow me, if I asked you to? Even to the West Coast?” “Yes.” She sighed with relief. “’Kay. And I’m willing to stay closer if that’s what we need.” Now it was his turn to sigh. “I saw a couple of possibilities. One is that I go to Michigan. It’s a good school and it’s not that far away. You finish up here next spring and join me in Ann Arbor for my second year. Then, if we’re still good—we go wherever.” “Mmkay. What’s the other?” “I could go to UCLA. It would be a lot harder to see each other that way. Different time zone. And we’d have to fly to visit each other. But then the year after, you could come and join me—and you’d be in Hollywood. Best city in the world for videographers.” “Oh. Oh, wow.” “There might be other possibilities but that’s what I’ve got.” “When do you need to decide?” “Not until after graduation.” “All right. Let me think it over.” “Of course. But that’s for the future. Can we make some commitments for the next four weeks?” “Yes, please. What did you have in mind?” “Time, for one. Can we promise each other our Saturdays? No school work, just us time?” “Yeah, that sounds good. But can we extend it to include Friday night?” “Oh, definitely. After class on Friday to Sunday at dawn: nothing in the way. Just you and me, love.” “Sounds good.” “Dr. Vince says we should work out some routines. Maybe read to each other. Or movie-watching. And sex. He blushed a bit when he said it—I love him so much—but he recommended we make a special time for sex and stick to it.” “That sounds… um.” “Yeah, I didn’t like it either, until he pointed out that we don’t have to only have sex during that time. We can still be all spontaneous other times. But he really recommend that we have a set time for it so we don’t miss it and so there’s nothing in the way of it.” “Mmmkay. I think I can see it.” “Saturday again?” “For now, yeah.” “Anything else you think we need?” “Food. Can we just make Saturday be date night in general? Make dinner, then make love?” “Totally.” “I’m worried about how we’re gonna handle it when we’re long-distance…” “We’ll work it out. It’ll have to be kind of different, but we’ll make the same commitments about time and so on. You good?” “Yeah, that’s all for me now.” She squeezed his arm. “Oh my god. We did it.” “Hmm?” “We totally had a serious adult relationship talk and it all made sense and we’re gonna seriously do it.” “Heh. I guess we did. And we will.” She stopped him, reached up for him, kissed him. And again. “I think we’re gonna be okay, lover,” she whispered. “Yeah. If we can stick to this…” “And stick together…” “Yeah. Oh, this feels so darn good.” “Y’know what else will feel darn good?” “Fuckin’?” “Oh hell yes. Celebration sex for sure tonight. But actually I was thinking of something else…”
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