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  1. Okay. So this is fun. I usually stick my affirming stories about being gendered correctly as a transwoman literally anywhere else but here. Today, I can’t put my story hardly anywhere else. I’ve been stalling on wetting my bed for Rachel, but maybe this will be okay So, my bladder isn’t perfect. It really isn’t. It’s on and off, but mostly works fine except at night sometimes. My bladder isn’t perfect though. So I’m on a medicine that makes me have to pee more. I’m on a large dose of it. It’s actually generally not a problem. But my bladder is NOT perfect. So I’m a transwoman btw. I don’t think I’ve ever written the what they look like paragraph about myself, but I still have a secret identity to hide, so I won’t go too in depth. I’m about 5’5, and unbeknownst to myself, I’ve apparently just finally started passing as a woman. My hair is LONG and curly. If it weren’t for the curls, it would easily reach down to my butt. I’m a pale Hispanic, and a little on the heavier side. I’d say most of my body fat is in my stomach, with a good amount having made it’s way to my breasts by now. I’m not sure how to describe my legs and ass, but I know that people have liked to look at them even before I started hormones. And I’ve been doing plenty of squats to make em even better. As to what I was wearing. My favorite type of pants to wet, coincidentally. Tight blue jeans, hugging my every curve, light light light blue. A pair of blue and gray panties under that, that I can vaguely use to hide my genitals from view under them and the jeans. I was wearing one of my favorite band’s hoodies, unbuttoned, and a red t-shirt that I only started to wear more often because it shows my new breasts fairly well. Cute cute cute as a button face. Big brown eyes. Big wide framed black glasses. Kinda hipster looking frames. And I usually cover a little bit of my face with my hair on one side depending on how I have it parted. My picture on here is definitely not current. Was that long enough of a description? Anyways, a few hours from getting out of work last night, I got a twinge that I had to pee. I hadn’t really drank that much at work, but I was beginning to get there. Maybe a 5 or 6. Enough that I was beginning to notice. I decided to have some fun, so I went to the water cooler a couple of times to get water, trying to be careful about just how much I was getting. I was not careful enough. So during one of those water breaks, it was also time for me to take my pills. Hormone replacement therapy does not work without taking it after all. Usually I’m fine taking it as long as I wasn’t too hydrated. I was. So work was not a problem. That was fine. My intent had been to go shopping after work to pick up some more Always Discreet pull-ups and a few other things, and to hold during that. Maybe wet during that towards the end. Maybe not. But it was going to be a conscious choice. So work let’s out, and I go to a certain small grocery store that’s open 24/7 around here. On the way, I hit a smallish pothole and let a little out, but I’m able to stop it. I didn’t realize I had to go that bad, but it’s fine. Maybe at an 8 around here, but it’s chill. I get there and open my legs to look at the damage, which was probably about quarter size max, before I opened legs. Very suddenly, it’s maybe half dollar sized. I managed to stop that from getting worse though. I was not ready yet. If you were wondering, the way I had my penis pointed actually I think made the eventual wetting pattern a bit feminine. Pointed more down the seam of my jeans than forward. So where you’d normally see a gal’s initial wet spot, was for sure where mine was. I got out of the car, and it was a little cold, but I managed to walk into the store pretty okay. I went around and started getting my various groceries. I was about halfway through when my desperation just shot up. 9 easily. I stop in place pretending to just stare at something on the shelf, and I do a quick potty dance in place. I look around to make sure that nobody was watching, and I went to get a few last things before I went to get the pull-ups. This is where things went wrong. So when work let out, it was Valentine’s Day now. This grocery store has a ton of flowers for sale even when it’s just a regular Wednesday. They were packed with flowers. I walk past the area where they have them without really thinking about it, and some pollen or something irritates my nose. And I sneeze. A few pretty good and hefty sneezes. I am now right there at a 10 that I’m barely keeping from turning into a huge waterfall on the floor. It is starting to leak out and I can’t quite stop it. I now have a fairly weak stream going that just isn’t going to stop. This is happening right now whether I want it to or not. I manage to somewhat gather myself, enough to ask a nearby worker where the bathrooms are. “Hey, umm, where are the bathrooms around here?” I pretty desperately needed to use them, and now. Generally btw, I’ve been avoiding public restrooms, because I thought I looked between a guy and a girl at best. I live in Texas, and I don’t wanna be stabbed in any parking lots. When I do use a public restroom, it’s still the men’s. Anyways. She gives me directions, calling me “Miss” while doing so, something I’d normally be excited over, since I was sure I looked like a hairy gorilla of a man with boobs, but I was too distracted to enjoy it. I head over, abandoning my shopping cart a few feet away. There is a man cleaning the bathroom which is the women’s room. There is not a men’s room immediately next to it. She gave me directions to the women’s room, not the men’s. I passed as a woman to her hardcore. That’s exciting, but I am literally still slowly peeing my pants. I walk down a bit to a register where someone is being helped. Normally I wouldn’t bother somebody helping somebody else, but this is urgent, and I’m pretty sure that it is plainly obvious for anybody to see. It is as obvious as the streaks of urine going slowly right down my legs. “Hi, umm, do you have any restrooms that aren’t being cleaned right now? Maybe the men’s room?” I ask pointing out the women’s room being cleaned. “Oh don’t worry about him Ma’am. He’ll let you in.” Are you serious with me right now? But hey. That’s two people who clearly see me as woman. I hobble over at this point, doing a pee dance that is not helping at all. I don’t remember much about the other people besides that they were women, but this guy cleaning was about as redneck big white guy as someone cleaning the women’s room can be, which is pretty big cause of course it is. “Umm, I’m sorry, can I use the bathroom?” I’m sure I stuttered out more than asked. Not only am I scared of wetting myself fully, but I’m scared that he’ll see me as a man and get angry with me. “Go right on in Ma’am.” he said in the thickest southern accent. Who am I to argue with the man? That’s three for everybody keeping score at home. I rush in, find a stall, and find instant relief. Like. Instantly. I am still working on pulling my pants down kind of instant. These jeans are tight and it is not helping. I manage to get what I hope is most of my urine in the toilet. My jeans are... pretty obviously soaked. There is an actual puddle on the floor around the toilet. There is a pee trail on the floor leading from the door to me. How long is it? I don’t know. I dab at my jeans with toilet paper. It doesn’t help. 8( I did not have a large penis before cutting off my testosterone supply and replacing it with estrogen. That did not make it bigger. But it was trying to get there for sure after a huge huge accident like. I managed to hide it again, bless the lord. But it was excited. I manage to clean up somewhat well, considering. I’m somehow not crying, but I definitely look a mess. I exit. “I’m uhh. I’m sorry. I...” “It’s okay. I didn’t mop in there yet. Are you alright ma’am?” “Umm, yeah. Yeah.” I imagine I am crimson. What I see across the registers doesn’t help. It’s the men’s room not being cleaned. I grab my cart, and rather hurriedly grab a few more groceries and my pull-ups, not stopping to even see anything but what I’m doing. I do not want to linger around. I do not want to be seen like this. I am hugely embarrassed and my cheeks will not stop burning. My genitals are almost fighting to be seen. I’m vaguely sure a full erection will be visible no matter what if I have one. I manage to keep that at bay like I couldn’t with my bladder. I finally get to the registers to pay, and thankfully there isn’t a line. “Did you find everything okay Miss?” Aaaaand four people saw a woman when they looked at me. Maybe it was a good experience after all. I don’t know what possessed me to say this, but I replied to her question, with “Well, not everything, at least not in time.” The look of sympathy on her face. Yeah. She knew. There’s no way she didn’t know. I had a gigantic pee stain down my pants, and then the pull-ups on the conveyor. I stared down at the floor for most of the rest of the transaction, and I went home. I’m sure that I put things away, but everything was sort of a blur. I laid my bedwetting pad down on my bed, and me and my magic wand went at it on the outside of my panties for nearly two hours before I came. My entire body shuddered and kicked. And all was good. I switched off my toy, and I went to sleep. In case you’re wondering, I did not stay dry in my sleep this time either.
  2. Version 1.0.0

    The only reasons I can imagine it took me this long to adapt this jewel of a tale were the market value of poop comics and the fact that I had this story in its own file labeled as "one of the best stories ever". Even today it still holds that title true because this hits all the marks of a good desperation story with one of the most humiliating public accidents ever and an elaborate cleanup to close it all out. So around the same time Stephanie was sharing her accident history, another girl around the same age named Amanda V began conversing with her and sharing her own incidents. Amanda stubbornly puts off her need to poop and will only relieve herself that way in the comfort of her own home. She thinks she can hold out a little longer while at her cousin's, but then she has to take the toddler to the park and skips her last chance for a bathroom break even though she can't even remember her last bowel movement. Now as Amanda's cousin takes her time enjoying the playground, she can only hope the cramps pass like they usually do and her sphincter can hold her load in long enough. But the cramps only get worse, and when nature finally makes its inevitable call, she's still going to need to watch her cousin all the way back home. I think the title gives away that this is a messing comic. There is wetting too and although it's brief I would encourage any fan of desperation or embarrassment to check this one out, or at least read the original story (keep in mind I aged Amanda up for her comic counterpart). Her detailed account fills 25 pages and also features a response from ToiletStool star Stephanie that will be followed up in a later comic - I tried to include it in here since it's mostly just more cleanup. That epilogue will either be a free issue or included as an update to this comic, meaning if you buy this one now you'll have access to the epilogue comic later no matter what. Even without that postscript this is a longer than usual comic I squeezed in so since it ended up being a little late as a result, for this week only as my Valentine's gift to the forum "Really Big Poo" will be on sale for the really low price of $4. After that the price will rise to $5 but even then you'll be getting 5 pages for every dollar you spend, so whether or not you jump on the bargain or not I strongly recommend this one to anyone who's enjoyed my previous releases. As usual all 25 pages are in two different sizes for your viewing pleasure. One final note that while there is a minor-aged supporting character in this story, she is merely a foil to the plot and only acts as an innocent witness - nothing fetish related happens involving her or any other drawings of children. Clearing that I hope you guys check this latest comic out and as always thank you so much for supporting my work. The story's original text can be found on Old Posts from the Toilet Page #2027

    $4.99

  3. View File JAV - EE-169 - Classroom Poop Desperation and Accidents From the JAV Blog - This one features Japanese school girls desperate to poop in class, and eventually having accident in their panties. Kind of like a couple of videos a while back with girls having accidents in class, only this time with poop. ***Warning, may include poop **** Enjoy, Rach Source: Submitter rachelkirwan Submitted 10/04/2017 Category Female videos Clothing  
  4. View File Public wetting at the mall She soaks her pants big time whilst heading towards the exit of the mall, surrounded by shoppers than she makes a run to her car so the others think it was an accident Submitter Despholder Submitted 02/05/2018 Category Public wetting Clothing  
  5. Public wetting at the mall

    Version 1.0.0

    725 downloads

    She soaks her pants big time whilst heading towards the exit of the mall, surrounded by shoppers than she makes a run to her car so the others think it was an accident

    Free

  6. Hi everyone! It is me, KozmoFox :) and this is the result of the fourth Kozmo-Lotto! (I know I tagged them near the bottom, but special thanks to @JustCallum, @Pache, and @Rainyday for making this happen and helping me through it all. Best support team.) This is something a lot have you have been waiting for, and for certain people you might have been waiting even longer than that. This...I honestly don't think this lotto will ever be topped by anything I ever do again. For starters, a reminder to everyone what this Kozmo-Lotto request was. The winner, Rainyday, put a lot of thought into it, so its taken awhile. But eventually it was decreed that I would go somewhere semi-public (Like most lotto's so far) and I would fill up on liquids and get really desperate. At which point, there was a total of 11 emails in my inbox, numbered 1 to 10, plus a bonus. In each email there was a challenge, and I was not allowed to peek or look in any email until it was time to do that challenge. When I opened an email, I would be allowed to open the next email 10 minutes after the previous, unless of course, the challenge inside took longer than 10 minutes, at which point I would be allowed to open the next one after the challenge was finished. I don't want to spoil too much in advance, but this was by far the most intense hold I've ever done. It was the most intense challenge I will ever do. I used to take it as a point of pride that I could get away with anything, like an omorashi ninja. Not today. Today people saw sides of me in public that I intend to likely never show again. Multiple times. I ran the omorashi gauntlet like a fuckin' champion today, and I challenge anyone to do what I just did for this site...mainly so I can read it, because I think this is going to make one HELL of an experience story. This may be my magnum opus. I'm also not going to show my face in that mall for at least like, 2 months. (Before you panic your moral radar, anything I may or may not have done, I cleaned up. I ran the gauntlet like a hero, but also like a responsible hero.) Our story begins with our dear small Kozmo pulling herself out of bed. Chatted with some friends, did some things, and then she went back to bed. Upon waking up, she got herself ready. OBLIGATORY DESCRIPTION PHASE: You all know damn well what I look like by now. I weigh like 100 pounds, I'm somewhere in the center between 5ft and 6ft, I'm so pale that when I walk outside this time of year I give people snow blindness. Long, dark brown almost black hair. Used to be entirely black, but I change it up! I honestly should have auditioned for the new Ring movie. I have multiple tattoos on my arms, chest, and a foot. Stud piercing in nose, and like most gals my age (21), I like my earrings. I'm lucky enough to not have any acne on the go right now, so not to brag overly much but I like to think I'm pretty pristine! At least I'm told so by people that know me, even a few on here! Sometimes I have freckles but today was not that day, I think freckles are like seasonal or something but I've never actually cared enough to think about it until now. But even when they're kinda there, makeup can make them far less obvious when I don't feel freckly. Today I had a very specific attire that I like to think of as a weird mix between moe and punk rock. It shouldn't be hard to tell what I picked, and what Rainyday picked. Grey beanie hat, low twintails in my hair, a pretty black choker around my neck, and some small snowflake earrings. Plaid miniskirt (Think Maka from Soul Eater), black knee-socks. Jean jacket, unbuttoned, Punisher T-shirt on underneath. Top that off with cute fuzzy black boots and a surprisingly girly pair of pink panties and a matching bra. Take note of that in particular for reasons you will see later. I also had a backpack with various things, such as spare clothes and the like. IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LEAD UP, SCROLL DOWN TO WHERE THE CHALLENGES BEGIN. IF YOU DO CARE ABOUT THE LEAD UP AND THINGS I DRANK AT THE MALL AND ALL THAT TOMFOOLERY JUST KEEP GOING. So I get up, I get ready, I make my way to the mall. I will note at this point that around Christmas I got a phone like a proper young adult, and on it I have IRCCloud, so I was able to keep chatting with my Omo.org friends through this whole ordeal, and they provided lots of encouragement. Rainyday was also present, so I was able to discuss challenges with them as I progressed, and eventually start to yell at them when the challenges got cruel. I am a salty person. I take my place at the food court, and start loading up. I had two large teas, but around the time I had my second tea, my friend who works at a local coffee joint brought me some Burger King! (They were on break.) So on top of two large teas, I also got a large coke with a Whopper :D. After all that I sat on my phone chatting with my crew and waited for all the liquid to process. And waited. And waited. And got impatient and pulled a mug from my backpack. This mug is essentially a mason jar with a handle attached, I got it as an extra with a case of beer once! I go to the drinking fountain and I fill up the mug to the brim, and down it. I fill it halfway, and down it again. I fill it up completely once more and start sipping away at it. By the time that's done, I'm at 2 large teas, a large coke, and 2 tall mugs and a half of water. If I wasn't feeling it before then, I was now! The pressure was building, and building fast. Eventually I stood up to fill the mug once more, and gravity hit me like a truck; I could feel each step I took to the fountain jolting into the ache of my bladder. It was not long after this that Rainyday decreed it was time to begin. As I get to each challenge in this story, I will paste the instructions I was given for complete context. I opened the first email in my inbox, and got to reading. FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ALL OF THE ABOVE, THE CHALLENGES START HERE!!!! REITERATION OF THE RULES OF THE OMORASHI GAUNTLET (Or as Rainyday likes to call it, "The Alliance Challenge"): I had to be in public view and not hiding, except when the challenge dictated otherwise. I always had to be where I could be seen. This is a rule I'm not normally a fan of, but considering there was a lot of drama in the lotto thread for this particular lotto, I wanted this to be something special to make up for it. I had to bring spare change and a spare pair of underwear with me. You'll see why. If I begin to lose control, I must try to stop to the bitter end. I do not fail until I A) Give up and cave to my desperation and completely empty myself, or B) I lose control so badly that I cannot gain it back, wetting myself completely to the point I'm empty or there's nothing left in me of even remote note. If I gush out and leave a small puddle but regain control, I keep going; I'd drink enough to replace it anyway. If I skipped a challenge, I'd drink a bunch more water and have to wait more before the next challenge as punishment. And if I completed all of the challenges: "You're free to relieve yourself wherever and however you like - as long as it's not a toilet. However, when everything is done, you have to go out into the mall parking lot before you do anything else - it's up to you whether you do it there, or if you think you can manage to get somewhere else in time." =====CHALLENGE ONE (6:01 PM) "The first challenge is a bit of a warmup. If this isn't difficult at all, then maybe you're not desperate enough, and should wait a bit more and try it again later. Go to the most populated area, and stand somewhere there for five minutes. Your hands either have to be on your phone or tablet, or behind your back, and you have to move your legs as little as possible. Also, if there's a fountain in the mall, go there to do this. Hopefully this will let you figure out if you're desperate enough to start or not." This was a good start. I needed to pee pretty badly, and this told me I was at the perfect starting point. I'd occasionally type away on my phone, or stare at the ceiling or something to try and forget my aching need. By the end of it, it was extremely hard to stay still, and I ended up rocking back and forth on my heels, feeling my skirt sway and create an air current on my bare, dry legs...These legs would be the opposite of dry well before I was done these challenges. I still had my mug of water on me, just keep this in mind. Its easy to forget I have it, so for your convenience know that when I did challenges that required, well, anything, I'd find a place to put it down (Until it was consumed, then the mug goes back in the backpack.) Nobody was taking real notice of me at this point. I sat back down, and went back to talking to my minor audience, (Which included Rainyday). I realized that I had probably drank far too much, far too fast; my bladder was filling at mach 5 and I knew I'd easily be dangerously desperate to pee by challenge 3 or 4. I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to get to challenge 5, half way there, without being a leaky shaky desperate mess in the middle of the mall. I was not wrong.. I started this challenge at exactly 6:01 PM. This marks the starting point of the gauntlet. ====CHALLENGE TWO (6:11 PM) "A fashion challenge. Go into a clothes shop you like, and pick out a nice outfit, at least made of one top and bottom. Try it on in the changing room. Take a picture of yourself in your outfit if you want, you don't have to send it to anyone. After that, you can change back into your normal clothes, and be on your way. " Its a wonder what ten minutes can do to a person. At this point I was getting to the shaky kind of desperate need, I was starting to typo and my legs were beginning to jiggle. Luckily for me, this didn't take too long, as I was next to a clothing store that I'm familiar with, containing a number of articles of clothing I had been looking at during previous visits. I sped through the store, grabbing them, picking a nice very light pink top that kind of fell off the shoulders and had a cat on the front, as well as a pair of black jeans with fake rips in them. I tried them on, and the jeans were...tight. The pressure wasn't helping at all and I very nearly dribbled in them. I managed to hold on though, avoiding disaster, and after I confirmed I did in fact like how I looked in them despite my abdomen that was beginning to bulge, I changed back as fast as I could and got back out front just as my ten minute mark hit. I was beginning to sweat, the build up had been ridiculous and let me tell you, I needed to fucking PEE. I was positive I was not going to finish the run of challenges without disaster, and I was trembling as well as just kind of absentmindedly kneading at the sides of my skirt like mad. This ridiculously increased need to pee made the next challenge hell. =====CHALLENGE THREE (6:21 PM) "We're still in the area of light challenges. This challenge has two parts, you might not be able to do the first depending on what's at the mall. 1- Go into a shop, restaurant or other facility that has its own bathroom. Ask the staff if you can use it. Of course, you won't actually use it, but you'll probably want to stay in there long enough for them not to get suspicious. You can leave after that. If you're turned away, try twice more, and if you get rejected all three times, well, that's that. 2- Similar in theme, go to a shop or stand with a manned counter and buy a drink from them. Of course, you'll have to finish this as well, but you can pace it over the break and the next challenge. " This was torture at its finest. I walked into this shop, almost like an in-mall convenience store. Not going to name stores and things because I like my location anonymity. I hobble up to the counter, shaky desperate and knock-kneed, and ask this poor cashier if I can use the washroom in here. He legitimately did not seem to know what to do, it took him a solid few seconds. I assume he was going to give me directions to the malls public washrooms, but just how fucking desperate I looked (and was!) must have changed his mind, because he very stutterily allowed me into the employee bathroom. I got in there, shut the door behind me, and stared at the toilet. I couldn't sit down, I couldn't finally pee and have my relief, I had to just look at it. I almost completely lost it and pissed myself right there from the psychological torture. I cannot express how much this was killing me. I tried to at the time though! Here's an excerpt of what I was saying to Rainyday at the time: <•KozmoFox> uwaaa Im staring at a toilet abd its fuxking killing me 6:25 PM WHEN CAN I LEAVE I think my statements in chat at the time speak for themselves. I had a hand buried in my crotch, bunching up my miniskirt and pressing into me, moaning and whining at myself and willing me to just please don't fucking pee yourself like this. Eventually I did leave. Rainyday was gracious enough to allow me to not buy another drink, given I was still carrying around a big mug of water. I did browse the drinks in the same shop after I thanked the cashier for his kindness to give that part of the challenge more credence though. On another note: Rainyday is literally satan. =====CHALLENGE FOUR (6:32 PM) "I thought I'd fit this in sooner rather than later, because of how long it might take. It's the arcade challenge! Head to the arcade and play a round of the hurricane simulator, and then the chair ride. I'm not sure what difficulty levels they have, but go for whatever's hard without being impossible. After those two, of course it's time for your specialty, DDR. One game of each is fine, or however many plays your money gets you." I would like to reiterate, Rainyday is SATAN. You might have seen me say once or twice around site that there's a few people in these parts who know my name, face, where I live, etc. Rainyday is one of these people, and the fact that Rainy won lotto means we got to go in depths with specifics, like Rainyday knowing what the mall in question has and unfortunately knowing the games I'm good at. This is where the first leakage occurred. The hurricane simulators are nothing special, I wager most of you have seen one. You put in some money, stand in the gigantic capsule, and it starts simulating hurricane winds. It almost ruined my twintails...but it was fun. The wind was cold on my skin which didn't make holding any easier, but luckily I got to just stand there. A few bystanders took notice but mainly didn't care. When I knew for a fact nobody was looking into the capsule I'd cross my legs and hunch the fuck over, occasionally gripping at myself because, you know, verge of wetting myself and all that. My bladder was like a goddamn boulder weighing down my entire lower body pressing on my...you know...wanting out. These winds could not budge this boulder. I also had to grip at my miniskirt constantly for very obvious wind-related reasons. Next up was the chair ride. To elaborate, this is also a simulator. It has like a screen and fans, it blows on your face and the seat itself vibrates, moves, etc. in line with the simulation on screen. In this case, I was virtually on a rollercoaster. Sitting down helped at first, but the vibration sooooorely did not. Luckily this machine is relatively secluded, so I got to stuff both my hands between my legs while the machine made my bladder absolutely suicidal. I'm not sure if I have said this enough or not, but goddammit I needed to PEE. The machine did its job. As I started to hobble over to the DDR machine (Not actually DDR, one of the generic rip offs that is actually just the exact same thing), in the middle of this arcade filled with people, I jolted mid-hobble. To try and describe what happened, it felt like my pelvic floor suddenly steeled itself... My entire body stretched and lurched forward from the sudden tightness in my bladder and below it, and at the height of this, as my legs were knocking together and my body fell forward, my panties got extremely warm extremely fast. Some pee spilled down my thighs, coating my legs and getting on my kneesocks, a fair number of drops pattering on the floor underneath me. In an INSTANT I dropped to a knee, pretending to pick at my boot. The initial impulse was to pretend I was tying my shoe, but my boots have no fucking laces to I had to fake fiddle with the side zipper like a moron. Some dude across the arcade gave me a funny look and I tried to ignore him. Out of my jacket pocket I fished my saving grace: Burger King napkins from earlier! I'm not going to leave a mess behind uncleaned. I wiped it up and stood back up, panting heavily. I was trying so hard to hang on and I had already started losing it. AND I had to go play DDR! DDR was torture. Every step felt like a punch to the bladder and I won't lie, I dribbled a couple of more times while playing it. (I napkinned up after I was done.) But! I managed to finish the song without completely losing control and wetting myself! With a 95% accuracy rating on hardest difficulty, might I add. I'm really good at rhythm games, trivia for you. I normally have no trouble acing this particular song, Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy, but certain dribbles soaking my panties and coating my inner thighs caused a fuckup or ten. I got out of the arcade not unscathed, but still ready to continue. Barely. I could feel everything in my bladder about to spill out all over me like niagra falls, getting that sensation where its like you're carrying something heavy and your arms getting tired, but you're only halfway from the car to the house. I was convinced I had no hope. But KozmoFox ain't no quitter. You guys might like the next one! =====CHALLENGE FIVE (6:49 PM) "After that exciting last challenge, here's a calmer one. Type a detailed description (at least 100 words) describing the desperation you're feeling right now. Include this description later in your story, word for word, without correcting any typos. (Maybe if you did something weird and typed up information you don't want shared, you can censor that)." This is self explanatory. I plopped myself on a bench and started pattering away on my phone, on which I have autocorrecty things turned off. Having to describe this made me leak, and I felt it seep out of me and into the back of my skirt in a solid dribble. I almost fucking lost it and completely pissed myself right there typing this. It was utter agony. Here you go, straight from the chat!: "so fucking rainyday is making me write up a fuckin thing on how badly i need to go for this challenge so litsten the fuck up folks let me tell you gravity is fucking KILLING ME i can gfeel it pulsing trying ti get its way out, some of it already has, im extremely damp under this skirt and i have to type this up in puvblic like nothings wrong and just thinking about it is killing me. i just leaked again. i cant stop shaking. i grab at myself whenever i think nobodys looking. im sweating. i cant hold it much longer i sont think but im going to fo my fucking best becuse kozmofox aint no fucking wquitter you heat me" Every bit of that was true and straight from the heart. I was slowly leaking for most of that. Do you know how agonizing it is to be slowly wetting yourself and trying to hold it in, whilst typing up a summary of just how badly you need to go? This did not go unnoticed. I had my legs crossed tight, my jaw clenched, ghostly pale and sweating and fucking bouncing and wiggling and kneading at my legs whenever I wasn't typing, it was not remotely hidden to anyone who looked in my direction. Extremely embarrassing but again...I ain't no quitter. =====CHALLENGE SIX (6:52 PM, was allowed to open early as arcade predictably took longer than 10 minutes.) "We're past the halfway mark. Do you feel you can make it for the next stretch? Fortunately, this one will let you recharge, in a way. Go into the toilet and relieve yourself somehow and let it out for exactly five seconds. After five seconds, do everything you can to stop, no matter what. Maybe this will take some of the pressure off -Bonus: If you relieve yourself somewhere that /isn't/ a toilet, then you can cut five minutes out of the time before you can open the next challenge." I did not even remotely hesitate to take advantage of that bonus. I locked my eyes on the first bathroom I saw, and jogged straight in, hands stuffed between my legs. At this point I wasn't attempting to hide my extreme desperation from the public eye, it was do everything I could to hold it, or I'd completely wet myself dead center of a mall. To my luck, and as I found out afterward, semi cheating, it was a single bathroom. One toilet, not the kind with stalls, just a one person bathroom. Rainyday considered this a mild violation of the rules, as it was not exactly a public area, unlike a stalled bathroom. Rainy understood why I misconstrued that though, especially as earlier one of the challenges almost specifically demanded a private bathroom (Asking to use a staff one) so they let it go. And so did I. This is possibly the least graceful moment of my life. I climbed up onto the sink counter in an absolute, extremely desperate fever, crawling on my hands and knees until I was over the sink. I was positioned like a fucking dog and panting like one too, my beanie fell right off my head. I barely moved my skirt slightly out of the way before I started GUSHING through my panties. Like this was beyond a torrent, I didn't care that I was pissing myself straight through my panties, I needed to get as much out of me into that sink in five seconds as I possibly could. My moans of relief echoed in that tiny bathroom and it felt so good I couldn't even bring myself to feel shame for how this was. It felt orgasmic. Foooor five seconds. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Clamped off. I whined as I shoved my hand into my underwear, doing my best to just STOP PEEING. I spurted twice more, soaking my hand and sleeve, but I stopped. It was so good. I still REALLY needed to pee, but for the moment, I was out of the immediate danger zone. I left the bathroom and walked back to the bench where I left my mug full of water. Yeah remember that? Still a thing. I was still desperate beyond belief, my hands and underwear and even my skirt to a degree were very wet, but I wasn't going anywhere yet. I still had much more to do, and that taste of relief really had me thinking I could pull it off. =====CHALLENGE SEVEN (6:57, got to open it early for completing the bonus!) "Another interaction challenge! You need to have... a tourist mindset? A snapchat one? Basically, ask a passerby to take your picture. I'm not sure whether there's anything in the mall that's worth getting your picture taken in front of, but say it's for a friend, if they ask. Which is the truth, isn't it? If you can't come up with any possible excuse to have someone take a picture or two of you, then ask them for directions to somewhere complicated or far instead. " This one might have been the single easiest. I had just gotten immense relief so I was able to pull it off without being a shaking desperate wet mess! Well...I was wet but this lady could not tell. I smiled, I asked her for two pictures in front of the Valentines display that was still up. She looked to be a soccer mom of sorts, she said she's always wanted someone to ask her to take their picture like this. I handed her my phone, and took my position. Hardest bit was standing completely still, but it was only for a few minutes while she snapped the shots. I just held my hands behind my back, leaned to the side in a cute way, and smiled. Snap snap! Pics taken! This didn't even remotely take 10 minutes, so I just sat back down on a new, different bench, and waited. It should also be noted that this is the period where Rainyday had me drink that mug of water. With my kidneys on overdrive, liquids still cycling through my system, and a new tall glass of water added to the mix, my relief was very short lived. =====CHALLENGE EIGHT (7:07 PM) "Remember the spare pair of underwear I asked you to bring? Go into the bathroom and enter a stall. In the stall, change your underwear to the other pair. Leave the stall and go on your way. Not too hard, hopefully? PS: @Pache says hi. " This also took zero time, but it reintroduced the toilet torture psychology. Given the kidney overdrive had a solid 10 minutes to re-introduce a whole lot of liquid to my bladder, and my bladder and sphincter muscles were just about DEAD, this was the beginning of the end for me. I could barely hold on, period, full stop. Perhaps the volume of pee I was holding in now was less than before, maybe it was more. Point is, I could not reliably hold it anymore, and I found this out when changing my panties of all things. I took my all but destroyed pink panties off and took a look at them. They were dark and saturated entirely from front to back. I placed them in a plastic bag and put them in my backpack. Remember the arcade? Same deal. My pelvic floor screamed at me, my lower body locked up, I fell forward, leaning against the wall and spurted heavily. Given I was wearing no panties it was unimpeded, and shot out, colliding with my thigh and tearing a path down my leg, giving my kneesock a decent soak. I shoved my hand down and kneaded into myself only for another spurt to collide with my hand, causing it to spray in multiple directions and coat my legs. I stayed in that position for a solid 15 seconds before I had decided I had enough control of myself to continue. I put on a fresh pair of grey panties, before taking some toilet paper and wiping the results of my miniature wetting off the floor...Only for me to leak a bunch again when I bent over to do so. The fresh grey panties were only fresh for maybe 10 seconds before I felt the warmness gathering in my underwear and gushed another spurt through them onto the back of my legs and down into my boots. They darkened and were saturated immediately, and not much better off than my original pair. I figured I had just had 3 big leaks in under a minute...that was okay in a bathroom stall, but the public eye? I was mortified that I wouldn't be able to hold it in anymore, but I was so close to finishing the gauntlet....So I went for it. Unfortunately, I was even more desperate to pee than I had been before the 5 second pee challenge. To quote me: <•KozmoFox> uwaaa i neeed rto fucking pee 7:13 PM so fucking bad 7:13 PM its builty back up 7:13 PM and im grtting tired dowen trhereeeee So you know, I was literally on the verge of wetting myself like the damp little girl I already was, smack dab in the middle of a public mall on a friday night. All I could think was....Fuck. =====CHALLENGE NINE (7:17 PM) "Now time for the second plot device: the coins. Count how many you have so you can remember. Then go to a populated area and 'accidentally' drop them all from torso height. Pick them all back up. No rush." The ten minute wait for this challenge killed me by the way. I was literally sitting on a bench (per the norm) with my legs crossed tightly, a hand stuffed between my legs, bouncing like a MADWOMAN and shaking and sweating, glaring at anyone who DARED look at me, goddammit haven't you ever seen someone need to pee before?! Move along!! •KozmoFox> uwaaa i cant stop fucking bouncing on this benhc 7:16 PM people are looking at me 7:16 PM fuck 7:16 PM look away cunts 7:16 PM im just hyper 7:16 PM thats totally it 7:16 PM hyper 7:16 PM 7:16 PM 7:16 PM lets fucking go 7:17 PM IRS TIME 7:17 PM NEXT 7:17 PM AAAAAAA I stood up from that bench, gravity hit me, and for like the 100th time that night, I nearly wet myself completely on the spot. I legitimately buckled and nearly lost it. But I didn't, I just kept my hand between my legs, pressing on my crotch for dear life despite the numerous people around who could obviously see it, and hobbled on. Remember when I said I had to bring spare change as part of the rules? That came into play here. I was terrified, but I wasn't there to cheat, so I went and found the most populated nearby area I could find; an intersection sort of area between a bunch of very popular stores. There was tons of people milling about everywhere. And like a good little Kozmo, I did what I was told! You have no idea how happy I was that nobody tried to help me. I've never been more thankful for uncaring people in my entire life. It was hard to think about much else, as I was literally about to pee myself. I could feel my lower torso about to burst and the need to pee, the need to just give in and let it all flow out right there was so intense I almost actually did it, despite being surrounded by easily like, 60 people. And so I squatted to begin picking up my coins as fast as I possibly could. It really sucked, as I'm a person who carries a LOT of pocket change. The squatting pretty well squashed my bladder, and I discovered it didn't like that. I felt my panties grow warm and wet from their cold and damp state, and a BIG leak came out of me with a PSSHHH. I was picking up nickels and dimes frantically now, trying to get it over with so I could just stand up and get myself back under control. I managed to stop, but it started again almost as fast as it ended. I was slowly wetting myself in that position where everyone could see me. I knew my backpack was dipping down so nobody could see from behind, but if someone cared to stop and look right underneath me they would see the beginnings of a puddle starting to form. The second I picked up the last dime I just took the entire huge wad of napkins from my pocket, wiped it up, and plopped back on another nearby bench. (Malls have lots of benches) Now I was in a position, on this bench, where I was the most desperate to pee I've ever been in my entire life. My muscles were dead. I couldn't hold it. I COULDN'T hold it. I'm positive my constant leaking was the only thing stopping me from fully exploding, giving me just enough leeway to maintain the basest of my integrity just a biiit longer. The wait for the final challenge was the worst. It was agony. I was rocking back and forth, hand pressed HARD between my legs, when I wasn't typing I was literally like, slamming my fist off my thigh. My skirt was wet, front and back, if I stood up it would have been quite visibly so. I could feel the sweat from the sheer effort of holding all this pee beading at my chin. Some people looked very concerned, probably confused as there was a bathroom RIGHT THERE, but I paid them no attention. I could not. I could not afford to do anything but hold it in, and look at my phone. Anything else and I would pee myself, all over the bench in an INSTANT, and I knew it. I was the strangest mix of mortified and determined I've ever been in my entire life. Just a sneak peek as to my state of mind in chat. back of skirt is wet 7:22 PM i have 7:22 PM to fucking 7:22 PM pee 7:22 PM i cant stop like 7:22 PM slamming fist off my upper legg 7:22 PM when not typing 7:22 PM i cant stay still 7:22 PM i NEED 7:22 PM J< 7:22 PM K<•KozmoFox> uwaaa to grp 7:22 PM to hold 7:22 PM i might not making it 7:22 PM to final challenge 7:22 PM im like opn the fucking brink of about tp piss myself 7:22 PM J So yeah, as far as I knew, this was the absolute end. =====CHALLENGE TEN (7:27 PM) "Final challenge! This isn't actually anything too exciting, I tried to arrange the challenges in a good paced order and this just ended up being left over. Go into the bathroom and use the sink to wash your hands for two minutes. You don't need to repeatedly soap them, but you have to keep them in the sink, under running water. If you leak at all during this challenge, you have to stop and leave the bathroom immediately, wait two minutes, and try again. If you leak the second time, then I guess that's this specific challenge failed. But maybe if you've lasted this long without anything worse happening, you could go for the final stretch Remember the passage from the starting rules: You're free to relieve yourself wherever and however you like - as long as it's not a toilet. However, when everything is done, you have to go out into the mall parking lot before you do anything else - it's up to you whether you do it there, or if you think you can manage to get somewhere else in time. Also, once you've made it to wherever you want to go, before you relieve yourself, there's one last bonus challenge to read and try. Open it when you get there." This following challenge might have been the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. We all know at this point I'm desperate, I'm sweaty and fidgety and whimpery and reaaally soaked. I've leaked at this point more times than I can count, and my skirt/panties/knee socks/boots are suffering DEARLY for it. Honestly, if I were wearing pants, it could have been considered a major accident at the arcade, it would have been extremely visible. At least wearing a skirt and these particular colors it was less obvious. Well, not any more. The front and back are drenched at this point, even this second pair of underwear is beyond saving, and my very visible bare legs are covered in glistening streaks down to my significantly damn knee socks, and I'm sitting there slowly dribbling and leaking more and more into my panties and skirt praying none is getting out to hit the floor. And even after all that, at this moment, I'm more desperate than I have been in my entire life. One more challenge. <•KozmoFox> uwaaa leakage is happengin 7:24 PM i can feel iyt 7:24 PM C<> 7:24 PM K<•KozmoFox> uwaaa i dont dare look down to see if any is escapeing skirt 7:24 PM C<> 7:24 PM K<•KozmoFox> uwaaa fucfccckkk 7:24 PM i have a hdn buried btween my legs and theres people just glangince at me while they walk bu 7:24 PM i cant stop wiggling I get up off my bench and try to bolt to the bathroom. Nice try, me. Easily the biggest leak yet. Almost worthy of being called a full on accident. In that instant, my bladder completely gave out for a single moment. I felt a rush of pee spray out of me and into my underwear, ignoring the obstacle as if it weren't there. It gushed straight down my leg like a tidal wave, you know the kind. Its clinging to your leg but the torrent almost looks like it wants to break off? It streamed right across the back of my leg, tearing a line of heat down my sock and I felt under my foot inside my boot get a bit squishy. I barely got it back under wraps. I HEARD it splatter onto the ground, it was near deafening. I didn't dare turn back. I told myself I'd clean it up in a moment, I couldn't bear to see if anyone had seen. As my hand was in its near permanent position between my legs when I had my mid-stride accident, the front of my skirt that was stuffed there was soaked beyond repair. My giant stain of shame was there for the world to see, although I knew that through the course of the evening, the back was likely far, FAR worse. And so, I attempted the challenge. I started washing my hands, as my legs jiggled and danced, wet and cold as they were. I was going good for a solid 30 seconds when a girl exited a stall and started washing her hands too. Didn't take long for her to look at me. I stared back like a deer in the headlights. "Are....Are you okay?" I nodded as frantically as I could, hands still in the water. I maintained eyecontact with her as the warm water started fucking me over. I started peeing myself, quite badly, all while nodding at her. I just couldn't hold it. I removed my hands from under the water and felt a torrent drench my panties and thighs as it started soaking my socks. She didn't look down, so I'm not sure if she saw the puddle rapidly forming at my feet, but she quickly left. The second the door shut I fell to my knees, stuffed my hands and skirt between my legs, further drenching the skirt but managing to stop the flow. It was bad, but remember the rules. I got it under control, it wasn't a whole lot when compared to the absolute ocean about to explode my bladder, so I was still in the game. Even my jean sleeves were dark at the cuffs, it was humiliating. But I wasn't done yet. I hadn't lost. I could finish the gauntlet. I took some paper towel and cleaned my puddle. I took more, went back out into the mall, got on my hands and knees, and cleaned up my other puddle. I told passerbys I had spilled water, even though there was an old lady across the way that was there beforehand, eying me suspiciously. I leaked more while I was on my hands and knees there, tiny trails streaming down my inner thighs around sensitive areas...I just couldn't reliably hold it, I was that desperate. I was in control one moment, absolutely not the next. I managed to clean everything up, and went back in the bathroom for attempt two. 2 agonizing minutes of the most intense desperation I've ever experienced. My bladder was screaming at me with all the fury of the seven hells to just piss all over the floor where I was standing and just give it some goddamn relief. But I couldn't. I was so close. The entire time, I stared myself in the mirror just muttering. "Don't pee. Don't pee. Don'-- Don't you dare fucking pee." I think someone came in and took a stall at some point. I didn't care. Finishing this challenge was all I cared about. And you know what? I did it. I did it and I almost cried and I immediately messaged Rainyday asking if I was allowed to pee. Guess what? Nope! Remember the rule? I had to go to the parking lot or somewhere else outside. Only then could I relieve myself. I hobbled to the nearest exit, leaking the whole way. Every step I'd spurt a little. I just could not hold it. I was no longer in complete control and I was not getting complete control back. Step, dribble. Step, dribble. Step, dribble. You're probably imagining this in a slow dramatic fashion but it was more like 3 steps a second with little bits of pee shooting out of me every go. I was frothing at the mouth. My face felt hot and blushy, my blood racing and rushing, I was drooling and sputtering and moaning and groaning I was just so close and I didn't care who saw. I was a wet desperate mess of a human being, constantly peeing just a little against my own control. My boots squishing every step. I took careful measures to not leave a trail, making sure if my panties and skirt didn't catch it, my jacket sleeves did. Hunched over, knockkneed and hobbling with my hands pressed into my crotch, many would see me and think a walk of shame. Nah, man. I was still going. I had completed the final challenge and was on the home stretch. This was a walk of victory. On a side note? Bladder bulge was ridiculous. I've always seen pictures and been like, why don't I ever have something like that when I hold? Those look ridiculous how does a person hold enough to look like they have an alien inside them? Tonight I finally understood. Jeeeesus. Before I knew it, I was at the car. I opened the final bonus challenge. =====LAST BONUS CHALLENGE (7:39 PM) "Again, nothing too exciting. You've made it to the end, lasted through everything, etc. Well done! So, you can last a bit longer. The bonus challenge is easy: just wait for five more minutes here, and then you can go. Good luck." I read those words and literally, for a brief moment and time, wanted to actually die. It was so tempting. I was in the car lot, next to the car, completely soaked already and just free of the mall and of people and I could just let go right there. But I had come so far, and I wasn't going to allow this to tarnish my victory. Didn't stop me from bitching about it like crazy though. It was so hard. I leaned against the car, one hand holding my area between my legs in a vice grip for dear life, the other holding the phone and reading the encouragement. Reminder that the chat wasn't just Rainyday, several Omo.org friends came to witness my monumental challenge and offer me encouragement and support the whole way through. And they kept telling me. "Come on Crim, you can do it!" "You made it to the end, you can do 5 more minutes!" "You're doing great, keep it up!" "Make us proud, Crim." <--- All of these are direct quotes, by the way. I had a cheerleading squad that made tonight do-able. I would actually like to take this moment to thank @JustCallum, @Rainyday, @Pache, and absolutely NOT @blooper for being the best company and emotional support during an epic Omorashi challenge gauntlet a gal could ask for. Feat. @Lisk who showed up, said like one sentence, and left. Let me tell you guys. I leaked and dribbled and sputtered the entire time. Some spurts were bigger than others, including a notable momentary loss of control where I peed myself for a solid 3 seconds, a torrent destroying any dry fabric left on me as I just moaned into my car window, fogging it up. The cold window felt so nice against my sweaty head. It was around this moment I realized I had somehow, at some point, gotten my T-shirt wet. Figures, given I had been constantly and slowly wetting myself since I had left the fuckin' bathroom after challenge 10. Notable quotes from me, trying to distract myself from the desperate agony, by talking about my desperate agony, because I'm goddamned stupid: KozmoFox> uwaaa im going to piss werywhere 7:36 PM okay <•KozmoFox> uwaaa ohnfuck 7:39 PM i fuck 7:39 PM i dotnt hink 7:39 PM i can 7:39 PM wait 7:39 PM 5 mirwe <•KozmoFox> uwaaa leaking 7:39 PM on ground <•KozmoFox> uwaaa gushed down leffss <•KozmoFox> uwaaa but 7:41 PM regained •KozmoFox> uwaaa i eekp fucking spurting im gonnsa die <•KozmoFox> uwaaa ive ltierslly been slowly peeing myself since i left building hwo am i still 7:43 PM holding <•KozmoFox> uwaaa Rainy 7:44 PM when 7:44 PM when can i 7:44 PM please •KozmoFox> uwaaa pleas ei cant hold it 7:44 PM when •KozmoFox> uwaaa when 7:44 PM rainy 7:44 PM rainy 7:44 PM fucking 7:44 PM say 7:44 PM when 7:44 PM plesse You can probably tell that by the end there I was completely losing control. I hadn't been able to actually hold it for quite awhile at this point, but then? Any semblance of control I had left was slipping. By the time I was doing the single word messages at the bottom, I was steadily and thoroughly pissing myself next to the car, it was streaming down my legs and splashing across my feet and all over the pavement. I was going to say you could 20 seconds ago 7:44 PM But I had to answer your question 7:44 PM You wiiinnnnnn------ 7:44 PM K<•KozmoFox> uwaaa CAN I OR CAN I NO 7:44 PM FUCK Final time: 1:45 of constant desperate agony, from opening the first email, to being told I'm allowed to pee. In this situation, the word "FUCK" coincides with me LITERALLY exploding. The second I read "You win", I couldn't even remotely hold on if I tried. The words registered, my body completely let go. I started peeing full force. And peeing, and peeing, and peeing. Power-peeing, if you will. I didn't so much as move my arm, my entire lower body got soaked, re-soaked, and soaked again in seconds. My panties had no hope against this barrage, I had like three streams going, from off the backs of both knees and through my skirt into my hand, into an extremely heavy stream hitting the ground with all it had. My socks could absorb no more. I actually stepped out of my boots and just stood my soft feet in the growing lake of my making. After like 30 seconds I removed my hand and just relaxed my entire body, letting it flow from straight between my legs onto the ground below. Someone walked by and totally saw that part, but trust me, I was so relieved I could give less of a shit. I felt goddamn humiliated afterwards, sure, but at that moment I didn't care. This relief was worth an orgasm and a half, I felt like I had literally been reborn. By the time I was halfway done I was so relieved and relaxed I could have napped. By the time I was done, I was standing in a lake that would make a hurricane jealous. I actually almost did nap, I couldn't bring myself to start driving so I just sat in the car in my wet clothes and the heat on for like half an hour, just leaning back and chatting in IRC, enjoying not being on the brink of wetting myself like a little girl for the first time in maybe 2 hours. Of course, I had just done exactly that, but who cares? I was also, naturally, PAINFULLY aroused, but this is not the place for that, that's not what this tale is about. I eventually pulled it together, stripped off my bottoms, and drove home like that, where I am now writing about my lovely evening. Reminder one final time. Rainyday is satan. I won't be doing requests like this again for a very long time, if ever again, but damn. To paraphrase myself from the first experience I wrote like 2 years ago... this was the scariest, most exciting wetting I've ever done. I'm likely never going to do a hold like this again. I think this hold, this experience, is my magnum opus. My Mona Lisa. It won't be topped by anything I do. Not to be full of myself, but I don't think anything like this exists on the experiences forum, and I'm extremely proud of myself. I put my body and soul (and self-esteem) on the line for you guys. I hope I did you all proud. I hope I captured what omorashi.org is all about today. Thank you all for reading this long as hell tale that might as well be a novel, for sticking with me this long, and for just overall being awesome people. This has been Kozmo-Lotto 4!~ Please tell me what you thought, drop a comment, shoot a message, whatever!! ^^ I love you all, and I hope you have an amazing day!
  7. As most of you will know by now, I’ve had a recent resurgence of my overactive bladder (OAB) over the past few months. As a result, I’ve been having significantly more accidents than normal. For the past three years, any wetting accidents (other than ones planned and for fun), have been largely limited to: Stress leaks, as a result of big sneezes, working out hard, jumping and landing too hard, all on a full or mostly full bladder. I’ve had these all my life and they are entirely manageable, as I can pretty much predict them and take countermeasures. For example, I’ll wear a pad all the time during that one month in Vancouver when I’m suddenly allergic to something in the air and suffer from lots of sneezes. If I’m going for a jog, I always wear black running shorts (or tights) which conceal accidents and leaks very effectively, and if I’m doing some serious impact stuff (and lazy Rachel hasn’t for a while now), then I’ll pop a pad in my panties. I’m also going to invest in a cute running skirt, as this will cover up leaks even better and I loved a tennis skirt I recently got to wear and wet for a customer. Despite these measures I do have the occasional unpredicted leak, caused by a hearty laugh, an unexpected impact, sneeze or that sort of thing. Fortunately, unless my bladder is bursting, these accidents typically only result in a large wet spot on my panties, which seldom shows through my clothes. I’ve learned to live with these very occasional occurrences by always packing a spare pair of panties in a Ziploc baggie in my purse, and not getting in the habit of wandering about, far from washrooms, with a super full bladder. I can still trigger one of these accidents, rather easily it would appear (given the fun I’ve been having with pads lately), and they are pretty similar. I should point out that on a super full bladder, the accident can be more serious, as I have difficulty stopping once I start, and once triggered by a stressor, my bladder can release a decent amount when full. Fortunately I’ve not had one of these accident in many year (though I came close on Black Friday…) Very rare bedwetting incidents. Prior to November, I had maybe two or three of these a year and they were all triggered by my going to bed with a pretty full bladder after drinking wine (or other booze). I’ve been adulting a lot lately, and not had occasions to do a lot of heavy student-like drinking, and as a result, my bed (and husband) were keeping dry. Even when I had been drinking, I would almost always put on protection before going to bed (almost always a Goodnite) and if I was too forgone to remember, my loving husband would often help me out. Up until November, these were the only issues I had to worry about, and they were not serious. However, in November, I wet the bed, on a random and non-party night, and then started getting more OAB symptoms. These included more wet nights, even after countermeasures (like reducing fluids, double voiding, avoiding some foods and that sort of thing), as well as some key-in-latch leaks and more serious accidents, and surprise urges that would cause me to need to rush to the bathroom ‘right now!’ some of which have resulted in those key-in-latch accidents. I grew up with these symptoms, and am very familiar with them. Growing up, we tried all sorts of things, so many that I won’t go into the list. I also think my mind fetishized wetting and diapers as a partial coping mechanism, though I’m sure there’s some more complicated psychology going on behind the scenes as well. Nothing much worked, apart from one medication, which I only used when I was travelling due to uncomfortable side effects, and which only really reduced the size of my night time accidents and the number of random urges I’ll got during the day. Then, when I was just graduating as an undergraduate, a new treatment emerged, which uses Botox injections into the overactive bladder muscles, thereby calming them down (to use totally non-technical terms). Well, we tried this, and after a really uncomfortable and embarrassing procedure, and a couple of weeks, it worked! I can’t say how happy I was! I went off to grad school, lost my virginity, slept over with boys, travelled around the world, had my heart broken, got married, and all sorts of things. Things I would have never done if I’d been wetting the bed each night, and having daytime urge issues. Well, the treatment is only expected to last 3 years or so. The Botox only calms the muscles down for so long. Well more than three years ago, I was in the early stages of my relationship with my husband (who was then my like 4th boyfriend), and the symptoms came back. I won’t rehash what happened, as it’s covered here (First diaper cuddle), but to summarize, Rachel had to make the decision to either come out to her boyfriend and tell him about her bedwetting issues, or find a new boyfriend (or more likely be single until I could get another treatment). Well Rachel gritted her teeth and steeled her strength, and spent her first night laying next to her now husband, wearing a diaper. Anyhow that was well over three years ago, and I was getting happy with having a pretty typical bladder again (a very high number of women have some stress incontinence issues, so even this is pretty typical). November, though I should have been expecting it, kind of came as a surprise. Because I know the deal by now, I scheduled an appointment with my urologist after my 3rd wet night. Since my unexpected wet night, I’ve wet the bed at least twice a week, and over the past two weeks, I’ve been wet three to four times. I’ve been wearing Goodnites to bed every night, and these have been keeping my bed (and husband) dry. The new Goodnites will hold an entire Rachel bladder, unless she is bursting, in which case, they leak a tiny amount, but these little spots are almost always dry by morning. I’ve been doing all the necessary lifestyle stuff I mentioned before bed as well. During the day I’ve re-established my using the bathroom ‘just in case’ policy more often, and in the most recent weeks, I’ve been wearing pads regularly. As a result, I’ve had few serious daytime incidents, though I have had a good number of leaks necessitating panty changes and pad replacements, and a few bigger accidents (which I’ll tell you about, or already have). This is also a little annoying because I’ve been selling my used panties to customers and not all of them want panties which have been peed in, accidents have required me to wash the panties and start wearing them all over again. All of this hasn’t stopped me from enjoying my fetish, and as I’m using them more often, I’ve been on a bit of a pad binge lately. I’ve kind of been enjoying wearing protection to bed and cuddling the hubby. It’s winter and often chilly at night, and cuddling in a diaper is a lovely feeling. Waking up wet it much less enjoyable, but the Goodnite makes it as manageable as possible. Oh and on a random note, I’ve also been leaking a lot more during sex, meaning that we’ve been going through a decent amount of towels on a good week. So this has been the past two months for me, and the OAB issues have been getting gradually a little worse, despite the precautions I’ve been taking. I’ve been waiting for my urologist appointment for quite some time, and it’s the first step I need to take in order to get a referral for the Botox treatment. The waiting list to see my urologist is longer than the list to get the Botox treatment, so my hope has been to get the old bladder working before the end of February. In anticipation of the appointment, I’ve been keeping a voiding diary (and actually I’ve been using an App on my phone, which is more geared towards kids, but kinda fun. DryDawn lets me print off reports for my urologist and is kinda cute). Well this past Friday I finally went in to see my urologist. Now in the past, when I was visiting my urologist more often, I would often experiment, just a little. In the UK my urologist would make you do a flow test and ultrasound every appointment, even if they were only 3 months apart, so I started experimenting a little. This included wearing a diaper to one appointment, and even ‘planning’ an accident at another. It is wrong to include others non-consensually in your kink, but I felt like in this case it wasn’t the same, as these were things I would actually do normally. For example, the ‘planned ultrasound accident’ was really a recreation of a real accident I had had at an appointment when I was in high school. I don’t see my Canadian urologist nearly as often, and so the redundant ultrasounds and flow tests don’t happen. I considered planning another accident, as I recall the emotions associated with this accident a lot still when I’m masturbating and they very often push me over the edge. But I have already done this, and besides, due to the increased inconvenience of my recent wettings, and the rarity with which I see my urologist, I felt like this might be a distraction. Also, given my current bladder situation, I don’t think I could hold nearly as much liquid, and I would almost certainly lose control of the situation very quickly. So this urologist appointment was going to be all business, or mostly business. Leading up to the appointment I was concerned about leaks and real accidents. To do an ultrasound (and flow test) you are asked to arrive with a ‘comfortably full bladder.’ Now because, as I’ve noted above, a full bladder puts me at considerable risk of having a real accident when my OAB symptoms kick in, I struggled to come up with just what a ‘comfortably full bladder’ would feel like for me. These days, a full bladder might be physically comfortable, but leave me super nervous about accidents. I settled on the solution of wearing protection to the appointment, and to add a little thrill to the experience, I would wear a Goodnite, rather than a more mature-looking Always or Depends pullup, or a more discreet pad. Now I’ve worn protection to numerous appointments in the past. My history of having real accidents when wandering about with a full bladder, or when a doctor pressed a freezing cold ultrasound wand on my distended bladder, has taught me to do this. In the past I’ve worn bulky incontinence pads to appointments, and these have often necessitated changing afterwards. One I have worn a Goodnite to an appointment, and the technician did not bat an eyelid at them when they pulled down the front of my pants to do the ultrasound. But this was only once, and my heart was pounding the whole time. So, for Friday’s appointment, I decided that once again, I would wear a Goodnite to the appointment, and see what happened. I woke up wet and therefore started my day with a shower. So in preparation for the 1:40 appointment I kept well hydrated all morning and used the washroom several times. My morning two mugs of green tea went through me like a flood. I printed off my voiding diary and bladder stats, and checked some emails. At 11 am I got ready to leave, the appointment was across town and required some complicated use of buses and the Skytrain, and I didn’t want to arrive late. My plan was to arrive early and read a book in a nearby café before heading over to the office. Before I left, I changed out of the PJs I was wearing around the house, and into one of the owl-print Goodnites I love so much. Overtop I pulled a pair of my Little Mermaid boy-short panties (my cute green ones). I typically always wear panties overtop of diapers when I’m wearing out in public, this makes changing easier as you can just tear off the Goodnite, and also cuts down on noise. The panty waistband can also offer some added discretion if the panties are sufficiently large. I then pulled on a pair of light jeans. If I did have an accident, the Goodnites would almost certainly catch everything, however they leaked, I didn’t want to make things easier for me. I put a tank top over my bra, buttoned up a blouse and put on a nice jumper over top. I put on some makeup and grabbed my book, purse and phone, and headed out into the world around 11:30. Not bad prep time actually ;) I did have pads and my usual spare pair of panties in my purse, but did not bring a larger bag with say a change of pants. I used the washroom right before leaving the house, as I’d filled up during my preparations. I brought a small water bottle and some snacks as well. I therefore left the house in my Goodnite, I was filled with mixed and complicated emotions. I read my book in transit and was acutely aware of the diaper I was wearing. I’ve worn out in public tons of times, both for fun and out of need. Sometimes this seems like a normal thing and I quickly almost forget about the protection I’m wearing. Other times I’ll we aware of it all the time, and worry about leaks or peeks. Today, given what was going to transpire in the early afternoon, I was very aware of the protection I was wearing and made sure my larger jumper covered the waistband of my jeans when I moved about. The transit gods smiled on me, and I arrived at the general vicinity of the urologist’s office with lots of time to spare, it was about 1 pm when I arrived, and so I headed over to a small independent café across the street and ordered a large tea. My water bottle was empty at this point and I could feel myself filling up. I was at about a 4 on the old desperation scale; the point where I was comfortable, and would likely not use the washroom just in case, unless I was about to depart on a long car ride, or that sort of thing. I settled down and read my book for half an hour. At about 1:20 pm, I felt like I was would not be full enough for the appointment, and since I’d already finished my tea, I had a glass of water and I filled my water bottle from the water jug as well. I downed this, and was feeling to be about a 6 or a 7 when I got up at 1:30 pm and wandered over to the office to check in. Now the reason I didn’t fill up to the point of jumping about and/or needing to hold myself, was that despite the fact that I was schedule for 1:40 pm, I’ve almost never been to an appointment with a urologist that wasn’t running behind. It has something to do with the tests they do and other factors, but they never seem to be on time. My UK clinic had a sign that said “if your appointment is 45 minutes late, see the nurses at the front,” largely because people are regularly arriving with full bladders and 45 minutes was a typical, albeit horribly long, wait for the office. I signed in and the friendly woman at the front desk, who was about my age, maybe a little older, but who was wearing far too much makeup, confirmed my address, and asked me if I needed to pee. It’s always a little embarrassing to have a stranger ask you this, and I must have blushed a little because she broke eye contact, but I confirmed that yes, I did have to go. “We are running about 15 minutes late, will you be ok?” she asked. I thought about it for a little bit, but given my current situation, another 15 or 20 minutes seemed reasonable. I was feeling a little brave as well, and I thought downing my water bottle over this time as well. I confirmed that I would be ok, still blushing, and she directed me to take a seat. The waiting room was small and cramped. It constituted about 8 chairs around a small alcove (three on each side and two on the back), with a table strewn with magazines, OAB leaflets, and other brochures. There was a sad looking fake plant in the corner, and a water cooler near the entrance with little paper cups. The alcove is off to the right when you come in the entrance of the office, but no immediately to the right, this is the washroom, marked with a generic sign. The nurses/receptionist desk is off to the left with a hall leading into the examination rooms beside it. The reception desk is not too far from the waiting alcove and I nervously thought that everyone in the waiting room could hear our conversation, despite my hushed tone. I took off my jacket and grabbed a seat between two people. I looked around the waiting room, and there were a number of other people there. I don’t really recall all the details, but it was sufficiently crowded that I needed to take a seat between two people. I chose the seat in the corner on the right hand side, next to the sad-looking plant. To my left was an elderly woman sitting next to an elderly man. I assumed they were a couple, as they exchanged quiet words from time to time. To my right was a 40-something woman with who I assume was her daughter of 13 or 14 sitting beside her. Sitting across from me was an older man, maybe in his 50s or 60s, who was sitting in the middle of the three seats on this side. I felt more comfortable sitting between the two women. Walking in I smiled awkwardly at the other people in the waiting room but didn’t get much of a response. The young girl was playing on her phone (or some device), her mother was reading a magazine. The man across from me was sitting there waiting quietly, and the couple to my left were similarly waiting, though every so often one of them would explore the materials on the table. Everyone looked relatively relaxed, and by this I mean no one was sitting on their heel, bouncing up and down, or holding themselves. I opened my bag and removed my book, and continued reading. Every so often I would look up, distracted by a movement from a fellow patient. I deduced that the woman in the couple next to me was likely the patient, and that her husband was there for support. It was also not hard to deduce that the young girl was the patient brought by her mother (as otherwise she would have been in school). I commiserated with her, as I’ve been in her exact place before. I continued to read but was becoming increasingly full. Again feeling a little exhibitionistic, I decided that I would play at being a little more desperate than I actually was. I crossed my legs, and wiggled my foot. After about 5 minutes a woman in a long coat walked out from the examination room hallway, exchanged a few words with the woman at the reception, and headed out. A few minutes later a female nurse in her 40s walked out and spoke with the receptionist, and then called a name. The older man across from me stood up and followed her inside. I was now at about an 8 on the desperation scale and beginning to worry, just a little. It was a only 1:45pm, but given the number of people in the waiting room, I was expecting a longer than 15 minute wait. I was most worried about having a bladder spasm, as I was pretty sure I could last at least another 20 minutes without too much difficulty, and perhaps longer if need be, but if my bladder decided to send me an urge spasm, I was at the point now where I would likely only barely make it to the nearby washroom, if at all. I was also super nervous, my heart was pounding in time with my jiggling foot, and I noticed I wasn’t making much progress on my book. I bookmarked my spot, and decided to abandon my reading. I squeezed my legs together more tightly, and reminded myself that I was wearing reliable protection, and that I could always get up and ask to use the washroom ‘to relieve pressure’ if I absolutely had to. But this didn’t quite comfort me, I suppose my intentional desperate body language was tricking my brain into thinking I was more desperate than I was. The young girl tugged on her mother’s sleeve and whispered something in her ear, and her mother responded quietly back. The older couple sat in amiable silence. And I sat there, legs tightly twisted together, jiggling my foot desperately. This tableau continued for some time, until about 1:55pm (I checked my phone), when a different middle-aged female nurse came out and called another name. This time the older couple got up, and, after taking some time gathering their things, they followed the nurse in. As the waiting room emptied, I could feel eyes on me. I looked up and could see the receptionist looking my way, inquisitively. Glancing about I also briefly saw the eyes of the young girl staring at me, before they were quickly averted. I was still at about an 8.5 but my desperation was increasing significantly. I had to decide if I was going to hold myself or sit on my heel. I opted for holding myself, because if I did have a leak while sitting on my heel there was a very good chance that the Goodnite might leak. I carefully uncrossed my legs and keeping them tightly squeezed together. I was no longer play-acting desperate body language, I was honestly desperate. It was 2:00 pm and my appointment was nowhere in sight. I moved my purse to my lap to provide cover, and once it was there, I carefully moved my hand underneath and pressed two fingers between my legs. All the while, I could not keep my foot from jiggling. At about this time, another patient came in through the office door and checked in with the receptionist. This time it was an older man, probably in his 60s, and after speaking with the receptionist, he moved to assume the spot across from me. He smiled as he came into the waiting area, and made some comment about the weather. The woman and her daughter ignored him and had another whispered exchange. As a result, I felt like the comment was directed at me and that social pressure dictate that I respond (I was no longer reading after all). Not wanting to be rude, but also not wanting to have a lengthy conversation, lest my desperation be audible in the sound of my voice, I gave a non-committal answer. He tried for conversation a second time, and this time cheerfully asked something like: “You been here before?” I wasn’t going to escape from this conversation that easily, and so, hand still surreptitiously holding myself under my purse, I made light conversation, or tried to. My foot was wiggling uncontrollably now, and I my legs were shaking a little. I responded something like “Yes, this is my first time to this doctor.” This is a new urologist for me, I’m relatively new to the city and I’ve usually gone to a clinic near our flat when I need medication or for general checkups. I went there in November to get a referral to a urologist, it’s really hard to find a family doctor in Vancouver, but the local clinic knows me pretty well. I feel more comfortable once I’ve had the same doctor a couple of times, I am always embarrassed by raised eye brows and probing questions from new doctors reading my file for the first time. The older man was giving off the vibe of someone who does not quite pick up on subtle social cues, like the curt answer I had just delivered, or perhaps he was super desperate and talking took his mind off of it. Either way, he pressed on. “I’m here because of the old prostate, never been to this kinda doctor before.” I’ve tried to capture his friendly but colloquial manner, also this is sort of an approximation of the conversation, it’s surprisingly hard to remember things when you are bursting. “So your first time too then.” He finished, which was not quite a question. I felt compelled to answer him, rather than give a non-committal ‘uh huh,’ but also not wanting to give this man my life story coupled with my medical history. “No, I’ve had a number of doctors, this is just my first time here.” I clarified. Now don’t forget, I was edging towards a 9 on the desperation scale, though I was still holding on at an 8.5, my hand offering whatever support it could between my legs, hopefully shielded from view by my purse. The padding of the combination of my jeans and the diaper I was wearing made my two fingers not as effective as if I’d been wearing a thin dress… or if my hand were inside my Goodnite. Unfortunately this would have been wildly inappropriate, but a girl can dream. At the edge of my vision I could see the girl and her mother exchanging more whispers. I was very preoccupied with my own situation, but I think I could see clear signs of desperation in the girl. “Oh,” he intoned, perhaps now picking up on my flat disengaging tone. But no, he pressed on. Who makes idle conversation in a doctors waiting room? “You been waiting long?” He asked, thankfully steering the conversation in another direction. “Um,” using this opportunity to press my thighs together more closely, which was hard given that my legs were shaking. I know that sitting sort of hunched over in this fashion is not the most effective way to hold your pee when you are super desperate, but it was the only position I could take given the type of chairs and my need to hold myself. Checking my phone required an awkward one armed maneuver into my purse. I looked at my phone and it said 2:08 pm. “Um not too long, maybe half an hour.” I replied vaguely, slipping my phone back into my bag. Fool! I should have pretended to check a message or something to escape the conversation. “Oh, that long huh? Well, you look like you need to go badly.” He observed in a tone that implied that he commiserated with my situation. I could feel my face burn as I blushed crimson. I was horrified. He must have noticed, as he let the conversation thankfully trail off at this point. I was pretty desperate, and I’m sure it was rather obvious, but there is something utterly embarrassing about a stranger noticing and pointing out these signs. I had the fleeting desire to deny the need to go, like a child caught holding themselves and bouncing about might do when confronted by an adult and asked if the needed to go. But I was too embarrassed, and still thinking clearly used this awkward moment to try to extricate myself from the conversation. At this point the girl whispered something else to her mother, who stood up, and made her way to the receptionist, where she asked a question. Probably the question we were all wondering. The receptionist responded in a voice that carried over into the waiting room, something along the lines of “It should not be much longer, no more than 10 minutes.” And then she said something else in a quieter tone and had a short, hushed conversation with the woman. My mind did some quick math and thinking. So 15 minutes, who did that apply to? Was it the estimate for the young girl and mother, and who was first? If I was first, and the receptionist was predicting 15 minutes, then I was likely going to be seen right away. But if they were going to be seen first, then did I have to wait another 20 to 25 minutes? How many technicians were they operating? If it was just one then it might take longer. If it was two, then surely I’d be seen shortly. My mind raced and this was nice, as it sort of took my mind off my growing desperation. I did take a moment to contemplate just going in my Goodnite, this was one of the reasons I had chosen to wear it, in case there were delays, in case I had a bad urge and couldn’t make it to the washroom on time, and also for the little thrill of wearing it in a situation where it would be seen. But I also was not sure about my ability to stop after having initiated a flow. And while the new Goodnites are pretty good and do hold almost a full Rachel bladder, I definitely had a full Rachel bladder at this point. It would likely leak. Plus sitting down makes leaks unpredictable. Not only this, but you are supposed to have a full bladder for these tests, and if I emptied my bladder into the diaper (or in the washroom literally next to me), I would have to wait for it to refill. Yes, there was the option of trying to half empty my bladder in either the toilet or my Goodnite, but I really didn’t think I could stop the flow mid-way through, it would be more like at the last quarter if I was luck. While all this was racing through my head, the man, perhaps realizing his social faux pas was rummaging around on the table for a magazine, and the mother and daughter were exchanging words in very hushed tones. I didn’t catch much at all, only a few snippets. But after a few more words, the girl handed her phone to her mother and walked around the corner to the washroom. I’m pretty sure I know what had been discussed. Clinics will always let you use the washroom if you are desperate to go, and they ask you to just release a little, to remove the pressure. As I was just discussing, this isn’t really an option available to me, but it is very common. Worst case of course you empty your whole bladder and then have to sit there for however long it takes to refill it using the little paper cups from the water cooler. It was 2:11 pm. With only three of us in the waiting area, and my inclination leaning towards jumping in the loo as soon as the girl returned, I finally spotted the first nurse walking to the receptionist. They spoke very briefly and there was a point. Then I heard my name. “Kirwan? Kirwan?” I pulled my hand out from between my legs and jumped up. This was perhaps ill-advised as it sent shocks of desperation through my abdomen. I hurried over, forgetting my jacket in the waiting room. “Yes, that’s me.” I gasped. “Ready?” Ask the kindly looking nurse. Like I mentioned, she was in her 40s, and had long black hair. She was a little over weight, but in a way that indicated that she’d likely had a couple of children. I nodded vigorously, and followed her down the hall. She made small talk as we walked. “Sorry we were running a little late… Would you like to use the washroom before we do the ultrasound? Just to let off a little pressure?” She asked kindly. “Better not,” I replied. Walking seemed to have reduced my acute desperation for the time being, and I felt like I had settled in to an 8.5. And then, feeling like some explanation was needed, and blushing a little, I added “It’s hard for me to stop once I get going.” “Oh that’s ok, we’ll be super quick.” She replied. “That’s the washroom for after.” She gestured towards a clearly marked door on our right. “And we will be in here.” She gestured to a room almost across the hall from the washroom to the left. The hallway continued along a ways and I noticed other doors and trolleys and baskets along the sides of the hallway out of the corner of my eye as we turned into the room. “So you’ve done this before?” The nurse asked. For some reason the rooms where they do ultrasounds always seem darker than they should, it’s a little strange. Anyhow, I was in no condition to observe the room too closely. The abatement to my desperation due to walking was gone, and I was at a 9. It wasn’t a ‘the pee is coming now’ kind of 9, but it was certainly a ‘you need to find a washroom in the next two minutes or it’s going to happen’ kind of 9. I concentrated hard on controlling my bladder. “Yeah, a couple of times.” I replied, almost not hearing her answer. “You can put your purse here if you like,” said the nurse, helpfully gesturing to a couple of chairs to the right of the door. I did so, and then hurried to the table. Knowing the process by this point, I undid the top button of my jeans. I lay on my back and rolled up my tops, revealing my naked belly. “Ok, so I’ll only scan your bladder now, then you can use the washroom, it’s all set up for your flow test. When you come back, I’ll scan for residual and do your kidneys, sound good?” She asked, while rolling the ultrasound machine over to the side of the table. “I really have to go.” I admitted a little panicky, and blushing just a little. For some reasons it’s easier to tell a medical practitioner these things, rather than say a random guy. “Don’t worry I’ll be quick.” She replied. “Would you mind undoing those a little?” She gestured towards my jeans. While I had undone the button, I had no touched the fly at all. They need to scan your full bladder for these kinds of ultrasounds, and this usually involves them having to pull down the waistband of your trousers. I am fully aware of this, having done a dozen or so ultrasounds in my day, and as I mentioned, would almost always wear a pad to these tests, and a pair of panties which look dignified, so not my adorable little mermaid panties. Today I had broken both of these practices, and was wearing green Little Mermaid panties overtop of a Goodnite. Not quite caring at this point, but also getting a secret exhibitionistic rush, I undid my fly, and pulled it all the way down. And for good measure (and to avoid getting the ultrasound goo on my jeans), I shimmied my pants down a little, wiggling my bum. In so doing I revealed the top inch of the waistband of the Goodnites, and the top portion of my panties. The Little Mermaid emblem is on the bum of the panties, so this was not visible, and they would appear to the casual observing nurse, to be a normal pair of green panties. My desperation was a powerful all-consuming force at this point, and I considered just releasing. Wetting a Goodnite while laying on your back is one of the safer positions in which to flood it. It is when you lay on your side that you have to worry about leaks. I decided to hold on until after the test, as I could make it, if it happened now. The nurse pulled out a piece of thin paper and, pulling the waistband of my diaper and panties down a little ways, tucked it in, she tucked in a second piece of paper next to it. “This will keep your …” She paused, and then quickly re-phrased, “This will stop the gel from getting on your clothes.” I was blushing in the low light of the room. My heart was pounding and I could feel my adrenaline rising. This was that exquisite exhibitionistic thrill suffuses my body in panicky energy. My diaper was obvious. She has clearly seen the upper purple waistband of the Goodnite, and had been about to say something like ‘keep your underwear or clothes dry’ or something like that, but had quickly stopped herself. I was not imagining things. I couldn’t help but close my eyes for a moment. And I only opened them when I felt the warm gel being rubbed all over my belly. I remember when the gel was cold, but at some point in my lifetime of bladder issues, a genius had added a gel warmer to the ultrasound trolley. I, and probably millions of women (and men) are thankful for this, I’m sure. The nurse pressed the want into my bulging bladder. It was clearly visible protruding right above the thin paper, which covered my Goodnite, a round softball, crying out for release. I watched her move the wand around my belly, looking at the screen to her left as she did so. She pressed firmly with the wand, and I could not resist letting out a little gasp. Did I let out a few drops as well? I wasn’t sure. “It’s ok, almost done.” She intoned, sensing my growing desperation. The wand moved about over my stretched skin. Over and around my bulging bladder. The pressure from the wand was considerable, and pushed me into the 9.5-10 level of desperation. I don’t know if others have shared this experience with me, but at this point, when your body is ready to override you mental commands and release your bladder, you sometimes have difficulty actually peeing? Well this was what happened to me now. I felt an acute sharpness in my bladder and then, in a millisecond of panic, I relaxed my sphincter mentally. But it did not respond right away. It was as if it wanted to take some sort of victory lap after the impressive accomplishment of keeping me from an accident for so long. “All done.” The nurse said, whipping the gel off my belly with a scratchy piece of paper towel. As she removed the two pieces of paper from my waistband, I could feel a tiny amount of pee escaping into the Goodnite. Not a spurt, but a steady flow, only it was very thin, as though all of the effort in holding back my pee had really tightened up my urethra, turning my normal wide flow into a thin jet. I gasped a little, or moaned, I’m not sure which, but I made some kind of vocalization, and I’m not sure if it gave away my predicament. “Ok, I’ll get the commode set up for your flow test, can you wait another few seconds?” She ask. “I just need to push on button.” She added, moving over to the door and opened it. Had she closed it when we came in? She must have, but I didn’t remember. I didn’t bother to do up my button or pull down my sweater. I was tempted to hold myself to provide a final bit of support as I made my way to the toilet, now within my view. But I held off, this would only make pulling down my bottoms all the more difficult. Instead, I used one of my hands to hold my pants up, and followed her out across the hall into the washroom. All the while my bladder slowly released. She fiddled with the buttons attached to the commode for what seemed like ages, though it was probably only a second or two. The commodes that they use for these kinds of flow tests are like normal toilets with raised seats. Inside the toilet bowl is a sensor which detects how fast your flow is, and if there are any disruptions or that sort of thing. As I stepped into the washroom and with the toilet in sight I could feel the flow of pee jetting into my Goodnite widen just a little bit. Could I almost make out a faint hiss of pee hitting the material of the diaper? I was standing there staring at the toilet, my way barred by a friendly and helpful nurse. I blushing furiously, thinking she could hear me peeing myself. Stopping was not an option at this point. Though the flow seemed to be slower than normal. I still felt like my urethra was narrower than normal – letting out a thinner-than-normal jet of pee, though a jet of pee none the less. I was also thinking feverishly; trying to decide whether I should pull down everything, and risk getting my jeans wet, or whether I should just worry about the jeans and panties and fishing sitting on the toilet in my Goodnites, with the toilet catching the overflow (because this Goodnite was going to over flow, I could just feel it). I decided, and felt around with the fingers of each of my hands, feeling for the waistband of my panties. The toilet beeped. “Ok, all set,” The nurse stepped away from the toilet. Only a couple of seconds had passed. I was at the toilet in an instant. Still freely peeing into my Goodnite, in a fluid motion I pulled my jeans and underwear down, turned, and plunked myself down on the toilet. My body released and I flooded the Goodnite, suffusing my labia a hot wetness. “Come back over when you are done.” The nurse intoned from the door of the washroom. When she said this I was jarred from my reverie of relief and looked up to see her standing at the bathroom door. In my haste to get onto the toilet, I’d forgotten about privacy. I’d not given her time to exit the washroom before I yanked down my jeans and panties. She quickly turned and closed the door behind her. I was awash in emotions: The sense of blissful relief resulting from finally getting to pee. Pride, in having held on for so long, and for having made what I think was a good choice about not pulling down the pullup. And horrifying embarrassment at having pulled down my pants in front of the nurse, magnified because I had done so wearing a cute owl print Goodnite diaper. My heart was pounding as though I’d just done wind sprints or stairs, and my system was suffused with adrenaline. My original plan had been to get a little thrill of excitement from having a stranger see the waistband of my Goodnites, and also the fun of public desperation in a safe setting. I had not planned for the nurse to see my entire diapered bottom half, or to release right before reaching the washroom. I suppose if I’d thought through my plan, and given the current behaviour of my bladder these past few months, that a key-in-latch leak was likely, but I suppose I underplayed this. Or slightly miscalculated my fluids. Or the wait was longer than I had planned. Maybe I should have tried to release while back in the waiting room. That felt like hours ago. I could hear the tinkling sound of pee overflowing the Goodnite and dripping into the toilet. I reached down and pulled down on the gusset to allow pee to escape there. The tinkle was replaced with a brief fwoosh, and then resumed, as pee simply rolled off the Goodnites gusset and into the toilet. If I don’t do this, the seal of the gathers on the new Goodnites is so good that sometimes the pee will overflow up the back or up the front and escape along the upper sides of the absorbent section or even the top (if I’m laying down for example). I was not keen on getting my cloths wet, or having to wipe down the floor. The pee was warm against my fingers. I could hear the hiss of my pee as it overwhelmed the diaper. It is hard to recall just how long I peed for, given the strange stilted start, but it was certainly a good minute, probably a little longer. As I was finishing, I was rocked with another wave of panic. Remember a few moments ago when I had a vague sense of pride at having correctly decided that I should leave the Goodnites up to protect my clothes? Well I had forgotten that I was supposed to be doing a flow test. The whole reason the nurse had been in the washroom at all was to turn the machine one. Despite the fact that a decent amount of pee was dripping into the toilet from the overwhelmed Goodnite, I was not doing the test correctly. Most of the pee, had been absorbed into the Goodnite. At this point I was pretty overwhelmed by everything and gave a couple of large panicky breaths. I worked at calming myself down, still sitting on the toilet wearing the bloated and wet Goodnite. I hastily tore the sides of the Goodnite and carefully pulled it up the front. If you let the front flop down, it risks spilling unabsorbed pee everywhere, and I had not come this far to get my panties and jeans (still around my ankles) wet. Some additional pee dripped into the commode. I rolled the wet diaper up and put it on the ground beside me. It dripped a little. I reached for the toilet paper and carefully wiped and dried myself. This took several wads. I also used one to wipe my eyes. At some point a couple of tears had escaped. My heart was still pounding, and I was almost shaking from the adrenalin. Fully dry, I pulled up my panties and jeans, did them up, and then picked up the wet Goodnite and deposited it in the garbage which had been just out of reach when I was sitting on the toilet. Heavy with pee, it sunk into the paper towel there. I washed my hands and added another few flowers of paper on top of it. I wet down a wad of paper towel with cool water and held it over my face to cool it, as it felt like it was on fire. There was a knock. “Everything ok?” I heard the nurse inquire through the door. “Yes, thank you” I stammered, my voice breaking. I heard a shuffling on the other side, and moved to lock the door. I then spent a couple of minutes composing myself and taking deep breaths. I looked around the washroom finally. Apart from the usual stuff, there was the commode, and beside it a urinal. The top of the commode had a panel with buttons and a piece of paper, that looked a lot like a receipt from the grocery story, had been spit out. I’ve seen these before. The machine spits out a paper copy of your flow. I asked one of my old urologists about the purpose of the flow test many exams ago, and the answer is that they are looking for irregularities. People with prostate issues will start and stop and create peaks and valleys on the sheet. Those with trouble starting will have a certain kind of line. I looked at my sheet of paper, and saw a couple of little bumps and then a big hump, followed by a low and bumpy line. This would be wholly useless as a diagnostic tool for my urologist, not that I’ve ever had issues with flow. I wasn’t concerned about the diagnostic implications of what had happened, but I still could not think of a way to explain it to the nurse without dying of embarrassment. I had been in the washroom for about 8 minutes when I realized that I had filled up a little. In the past, when I’ve done these tests, if they test you and find that you still have more than a couple of mils of residual they ask for you to try again. Hoping to avoid this, I pulled my jeans and panties back down and peed for another dribbling ten seconds on the commode. I wiped and washed my hands. I knew I could not remain in the washroom for much longer without worrying the nurse, and still with no idea about what I would say, I took the little piece of paper with further evidence of my shame, unlocked the bathroom door, and walked across the hall to the ultrasound room. I saw the nurse down the hall as I did so. It looked as though she was talking to the receptionist. I entered the empty room and sat in the chair next to my purse. I heard the nurse walking down the hall, arrive at the intersection of the examination room and washroom and turn into the washroom. She moved around in there for a short while and then returned to the examination room. “Everything ok?” She inquired, even toned and professional but with a hint of genuine concern. “I… Um…” I was still not sure exactly how to explain what had happened. And opening my mouth didn’t seem to help. She quickly saved me the trouble by interrupting my stammering. “Don’t worry, the flow test isn’t necessary, it’s ok.” The nurse said comfortingly, reaching down and removing the piece of paper which I was clutching between two fingers. “I can take this.” I was grateful that she had cut me off before I began to explain. I’m still not exactly sure what I would have said. However, her cutting me off in this way indicated to me that she knew exactly what had happened (or close enough to it), having seen the first part and extrapolated. “All right, let’s scan you now that you are empty, can you hop back up on the table please?” She asked politely in a chipper tone. I stood up, a little apprehensive and once again undid my jeans button. I also unzipped them and shimmied them down a little before I crawled back up on the examination table. In case it wasn’t obvious to her before, it was clear that I had wet my Goodnite, or at least removed it. This time she slipped the two pieces of thin paper underneath the waistband of my panties, and went about slathering on the ultrasound gel. I made eye contact with her for a minute and she smiled politely and reassuringly, as only a good professional nurse can do. The second part of the test took considerably longer than the first part. She once again scanned my bladder, saying something like, “Good, residual is only Xmls.” Feeling like I had to chime in at this point, I gathered up my courage and added “I used the toilet a second time.” Though I could have provided more detail, I couldn’t bring myself to. “Oh that’s good,” she replied. I was then instructed to roll onto each of my sides so that she could scan each of my kidneys. She was very thorough. I lay there, heart still pounding but slowing a little, as she rolled the wet gel-covered ultrasound probe over my lower body. The kidney scan takes considerably longer, as they always look for issues and stones and the like, and I was grateful that this was (and typically is) done after you’ve had the chance to empty your bladder. She finished and wiped the gel off my sides. “Ok, I’ll just put all of this in your file and show you to the consultation room, Dr. Y will be with your shortly.” She informed me. The test over, I sat up from the bed, and hopped off. I pulled up and then did up my jeans, and went over to the chair by the door where I had deposited my purse. While I was doing this the nurse jotted some notes down in my file, and then stapled the little slip of paper from my ‘failed’ flow test into the coloured folder. I waited politely by the down, face downcast for a few moments while she completed her notes. She then got up from the little wheelie stool that she had been sitting on in order to do the test, and headed out of the room. “Just this way.” I followed her out and to the left down the hall. We turned once and then she showed me into a typical consultation room. “Just have a seat and Dr. Y will be with you shortly.” She informed me again, smiling at me kindly. I opted to sit in one of the chairs in the room, rather than the examination table, as I wasn’t expecting any kind of medical exam at this point. This was generally the part of the appointment where I simply talk to the doctor. In the past, when my doctor was familiar with my case and myself they would ask about my progress or success with a different medication we were trying, or an update. As this was a new doctor, I was expecting to have to rehash my medical (and more bladder) history with them. I had brought notes as I tend to forget the names of the different medications I’ve tried and significant dates and the like, and I had also brought my voiding diary (printed off from the helpful App.). I won’t recount the 20 minute consultation I had with the urologist, as I’ve actually rehashed most of my relevant medical history above, but I’ll add that the nurse and doctor did have a muted conversation just outside of earshot down the hallway before the doctor came in, and this made me blush a little. I was a little flustered all the same and the 10 minutes wait for the urologist to come to see me only permitted me to regain my composure to an extent. I was glad that I had brought my notes. Apart from a surprise question about UTIs which got me a little flustered for reasons I won’t go into, the conversation was pretty typical. I’m please to say that the urologist did give me a referral for another round of Botox treatment, and I am just waiting for this appointment, it should be in early March. I’ll report back on how this goes for those who are interested. After I got my referral, as well as a repeat of some advice about lifestyle changes I could make to reduce my symptoms, and a prescription for the medication I will occasionally take to reduce my symptoms further, the doctor walked me out into the reception area. I thanked them and smiled awkwardly at the receptionist whose expression I could not read, and I headed towards the door. Just as I was about to leave the receptionist called my name. “Ms. Kirwan?” She called after me. I froze, one hand on the door, not sure what would happen next. “Is that your coat?” She asked. I turned around and did an awkward arm gesture, in which I suppose I was feeling for the coat I was not wearing, realized I did not have it, walked back to the waiting room, and found my coast still on the back of my chair where I had left it hours(?) ago. I retrieved it, not really paying any attention to the three people in the waiting too, except to notice that the man and the woman and her child were no longer there. I thanked the receptionist, slipped into my jacket, and beat a retreat back to the SkyTrain. Outside the office I texted my husband to let him know that everything had gone ok, neglecting to tell him about some, or rather most, of the actual things that transpired at the urologists office. I think sending him this much writing in a single text might challenge his appreciation for smart phone technology, and well while I’m open about my medical issues and kinks with him, this isn’t exactly something I think either of us are comfortable discussing. I decided to treat myself to some food, as I’d not had much before the appointment. I found a nice place nearby, and as I worked my way through some sushi, my heart rate reached a normal rate. The complicated maelstrom of emotions associated with these kinds of embarrassing incidents began to roil inside of me. It would take a while for me to process all the emotions from today’s misadventure, to isolate the exciting ones from the terrifying ones. But what was clear was that I had some writing to do when I got home. Thanks for sticking out to the end of this, I realize that 17 pages is actually quite a lot of writing to tell a story that could have been told in a couple of paragraphs, but I suppose that it is cathartic to write this stuff down. I’ve got a whole folder of experiences I’ve had, with half-completed one dominating at this point, and it’s interesting to go through them and re-read some of the strange, embarrassing, funny, and exciting things I’ve got up to. Stay tuned for another update. Hugs, Rach
  8. View File JAV - 4 Hours of Wetting Highlights The title says it all. This is a highlight reel of wettings from other JAVs. You've seen some of them some of them you have not seen before. But they are all here, in a 4 hour cavalcade of wetting. If you notice one you like, flag the time count in the comments :) Enjoy! Rach Submitter rachelkirwan Submitted 01/28/2018 Category Female videos Clothing  
  9. I found this to be an entertaining read: The story is told by a one young man who 'emancipates' himself from his bladder, in the name of enjoying one of his favorite bands. I can certainly relate, having watched and played numerous concerts with a bursting bladder! I may follow Zachary's lead next time. Enjoy! https://thump.vice.com/en_us/article/wjqgmw/tycho-concert-pee
  10. Version 1.0.0

    780 downloads

    The title says it all. This is a highlight reel of wettings from other JAVs. You've seen some of them some of them you have not seen before. But they are all here, in a 4 hour cavalcade of wetting. If you notice one you like, flag the time count in the comments :) Enjoy! Rach

    Free

  11. Version 1.0.0

    507 downloads

    This is a 2 hour long JAV which features Japanese women in school uniforms going to the dentist. The crafty dental hygienist gives the girls a diuretic and they have to run to the washroom mid-checkup/cleaning. Several of them don’t make it and wet their uniform and panties right there in the dentist’s chair. There is often cleanup and in a number of the scenes the girls have sex with the dentist (or give oral… pun intended ;) The final girl, still under the effects of the powerful diuretic leaves the office and the camera follows her out into the street. She pops a squat but is being followed by a man, who leads her back to a room where they have sex. Enjoy, Rach

    Free

  12. View File JAV – NHDTA- 389 - Dentist Diuretic Wetting Sex This is a 2 hour long JAV which features Japanese women in school uniforms going to the dentist. The crafty dental hygienist gives the girls a diuretic and they have to run to the washroom mid-checkup/cleaning. Several of them don’t make it and wet their uniform and panties right there in the dentist’s chair. There is often cleanup and in a number of the scenes the girls have sex with the dentist (or give oral… pun intended ;) The final girl, still under the effects of the powerful diuretic leaves the office and the camera follows her out into the street. She pops a squat but is being followed by a man, who leads her back to a room where they have sex. Enjoy, Rach Submitter rachelkirwan Submitted 01/28/2018 Category Female videos Clothing  
  13. "Two Accidents" Comic

    Version 1.0.0

    On the same weekend back in late 2016, two ladies shared stories of recent accidents at Toiletstool.com that are pretty delightful to people with our interests. The first was Carla, whose dog knocked the pee out of her in the final comic of last year. The other poster shared two stories in one, so I'm presenting both of them together as the next file in the series. Ashley O. is a 23-year-old who ruins an accident-free streak when she decides to skip the port-a-potties during a fall farm trip with her friends and their children. Their next stop is a hay ride, and Ashley's bladder getting bounced around in its super full state is about to spell disaster, especially because she's in a very public place. Her next story happens just a few weeks later and it's waaayyy more embarrassing. Ashley puts off a much-needed poop while at work, and she's already pushing her limits but then the fire alarm goes off and she now has no choice but to hold it. Standing outside only makes her desire for relief worse, and she's put off for too long that she can't even trust a fart right now... The bundle release of the last few Stephanie tales was sort of a test for how I would release a comic based on multiples accounts, and by extension smaller stories being lumped together, to see how well they'd sell compared to cheaper singles. I can't say enough how much each sale means to me, and if you goes keep paying more for more like this you can count on more and more from my end. For $4 you get these 2 stories, whether you like pee or poop there's sure to be something in here to like. Both stories are heavy on the desperation and embarrassment so if that's your bag then I'd at least take peeks at each. But as I said, a purchase gets you access to both. Part 01 had 11 pages and 02 has 10, as usual there are high resolution and scaled down copies of each page. Each story also features the usual 'x-ray' shots so there is some nudity. I hope you enjoy and look forward to more desperation and accident adventures ahead, feedback is always welcome. At this time I am not taking requests, but only because I have so much in store. Thanks for stopping by! The story's original text can be found on Old Posts from the Toilet Page #2597

    $3.99

  14. View File JAV - Panty Wetting and Desperation The title says most of it here. I've seen a couple of clips from this, but this is the full version, ripped from a streaming site. Desperate Japanese women are followed about and chat with the camera person amiable until they have an accident, usually of the skirt up, bum out variety. Sometimes in public sometimes indoors. I'm sure they are having all sorts of fun if only I could make out what they are saying :) Actually, because all four of the DJNK videos I have match this description, I've uploaded them all here. Let me know in the comments if there are any scenes you adore :) Thanks for all the bedwetting videos folks, every time one is posted, I'm going to dip into my rather extravagant JAV collection :) Enjoy, Rach Submitter rachelkirwan Submitted 01/24/2018 Category Public wetting Clothing  
  15. JAV - EE-062 (Public Wetting)

    Version 1.0.0

    1,742 downloads

    These Japanese ladies are super desperate in public and look for a place to pop a squat, unfortunately, they don't quite make it in time and have accidents while pulling their clothes out of the way, just before peeing. How embarrassing ;) Includes censored lady parts, wetting, peeing, panties, clean up, and in semi-public spaces. Tons of fun for all kinksters. Enjoy, Rach

    Free

  16. Version 1.0.0

    984 downloads

    The title says most of it here. I've seen a couple of clips from this, but this is the full version, ripped from a streaming site. Desperate Japanese women are followed about and chat with the camera person amiable until they have an accident, usually of the skirt up, bum out variety. Sometimes in public sometimes indoors. I'm sure they are having all sorts of fun if only I could make out what they are saying :) Actually, because all four of the DJNK videos I have match this description, I've uploaded them all here. Let me know in the comments if there are any scenes you adore :) Thanks for all the bedwetting videos folks, every time one is posted, I'm going to dip into my rather extravagant JAV collection :) Enjoy, Rach

    Free

  17. View File JAV - Wetting Clip Show So this is a 4 hour clip show of wettings (and bedwettings, desperation and the like) take from other JAVs. It's hard to describe everything that is in it, and I've certainly seen some the clips posted from other JAvs o on their own. But you know how every show has that one clip show before the holidays which is basically a call back to previous episodes, and a chance for the writers to get a break? Well this is the JAV equivalent. Feel free to flag nice wettings you like in the comments, for example, I of course love the bedwetting at 2:27.00. Rach p.s. thanks for all the male bedwetting clips people have been posting! Submitter rachelkirwan Submitted 01/24/2018 Category Female videos Clothing  
  18. JAV - Wetting Clip Show

    Version 1.0.0

    603 downloads

    So this is a 4 hour clip show of wettings (and bedwettings, desperation and the like) take from other JAVs. It's hard to describe everything that is in it, and I've certainly seen some the clips posted from other JAvs o on their own. But you know how every show has that one clip show before the holidays which is basically a call back to previous episodes, and a chance for the writers to get a break? Well this is the JAV equivalent. Feel free to flag nice wettings you like in the comments, for example, I of course love the bedwetting at 2:27.00. Rach p.s. thanks for all the male bedwetting clips people have been posting!

    Free

  19. JAV - EE-062 (Public Wetting) View File These Japanese ladies are super desperate in public and look for a place to pop a squat, unfortunately, they don't quite make it in time and have accidents while pulling their clothes out of the way, just before peeing. How embarrassing ;) Includes censored lady parts, wetting, peeing, panties, clean up, and in semi-public spaces. Tons of fun for all kinksters. Enjoy, Rach Submitter rachelkirwan Submitted 01/22/2018 Category Public wetting Clothing  
  20. View File May Soaks Her Little Pink Shorts May C from 'WettingHerpanties' and 'WetSet' wetting herself. http://www.wettingherpanties.com/en/model.php?m=mayc This is a WetSet video: http://www.wetset.net/index.php?target=products&product_id=3322 Submitter kadabra Submitted 01/06/2018 Category Public wetting Clothing Shorts  
  21. female RJSD-01 public bath sitting

    Version 1.0.0

    2,363 downloads

    An older Jade video in which ladies using a public bathhouse casually and discreetly relieve themselves while seated.

    Free

  22. Version 1.0.0

    2,642 downloads

    *** Contains Pooping and Farting **** You have been warned **** So this is from a Japanese blog with good wetting content. I'm not at all into poop related things, but I thought people might still like these, they feature Japanese women in skirts in a public library setting, farting, but it turns out to be more than a fart, and they poop their panties, while all the while someone is sitting or standing nearby. Interesting genre, I know we've had a few shared on here in the past, as well as a similar scenario but with peeing in school classrooms. Note that the ripping program I used put these videos in a strange format, but they will play easily on VLC. Enjoy, Rach

    Free

  23. Thought it was about time I contributed here myself as I've been here quite some time. Here is a little video of me completely wetting my jeans in public in broad daylight. The Aftermath.... And the Video... 20170610_052354.mp4