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Clarissa's Diary – 4 Author: Unknown Edited By: DaddyRich July 4th 1996 ---------------- Dear diary, this morning, something kind of strange happened, I woke up, and my diaper was dry, but the second I sat up I flooded my diaper. Hmmm, must have been the way I was lying while I was asleep but it also gave me a brief flash of false hope for a moment. But I went about my day as the worlds biggest infant, sometimes I feel like I’m the only woman in the world with this problem, I know that is absurd, there wouldn’t be adult diapers on the market if that were true, but it still feels that way, I just want to be able to lead a normal life, my doctor says I'll be in diapers for the rest of my life, but I just cant accept that right now, I guess time will tell. Later this morning, while getting ready to go out, I decided to wear a cloth diaper and plastic panties today for a change, I don’t usually do that, like I said before, I prefer disposables, I’m more comfortable wearing them in public, but it was a beautiful summer day and it just felt good. For safety, I put on a girdle (not that I need one, Ive always prided myself on having a hot little bod) that I bought to keep the bulk of the diapers down. I called my mom today too, we talked about the accident and how I was adjusting to life, and as always she worried about everything that is going on in my life, and its kinda funny since she's always treated me like a baby now I have the bladder and bowel control of one. We talked for a while longer and I left the house for the pharmacy. When I got to the pharmacy, there were a few people waiting at the counter to get their prescriptions filled, so I wandered around acting like I was looking for aspirin or something. They finally left and Margaret (the pharmacist remember?) greeted me and we started chatting. I brought up the fact that I had come to buy a plastic sheet for my bed so she took me over to the incontinence section. She showed me a few selections and I got a few of the same brand, some extra just in case. I also bought some more cloth diapers and two more pairs of plastic panties, even though I don’t use them much, they are still useful for if Im ever out of Attends. I picked up some Desitin, some baby powder, and some more Nullo, I’ve taken almost all of the first pack, and it actually doesnt work yet after three days but Im still going to take them, maybe they take longer than I expect. I noticed my diaper was getting a little more damp as time went on so I thought I should hurry before I started to leak. I got home and took out the cloth diapers. They were kind of expensive but they are nice, they're form fitting with elastic leg gathers and velcro closures. I took off my wet diaper and hopped in the shower since I didn’t take one when I got up. While I was in the shower, washing my hair, I pooped on the floor of the shower stall, even though I was alone, I felt so embarassed and helpless, I didnt even feel it, it just came out and I didn’t have any control to hold it back, it was also disgusting, at first I didnt know what to do so I just rinsed it down the drain with the showering water. So I washed myself again (paying close attention to my diaper area) and got dried up. I took the sheet off my bed so I could put the rubber sheet on under it, I realized I was naked so I put a diaper on before I peed or pooped again on the floor. I got the sheet back on and got the powder, the rash cream, a Huggies (I keep a stack of them already cut in the front to let the moisture through) and an attends (or my big Huggies as I call them) and lay down on the bed, I untaped the diaper I was wearing and spread it out between my legs so I wouldn’t leak on the bed. Like I said earlier, it was a beautiful summer day and I was feeling great. I started playing with myself, rubbing my clit around and around and rolling my nipples around in my other fingers. (God my mom better not ever get her hands on this book) I rubbed myself until my body shook with an orgasm, I started to pee so I flattened my hand against my pussy and let the hot pee flow over my hole and my bottom while I rubbed myself into an even more violent orgasm and lay there hyperventilating on a wet diaper. After a while of laying there, I dried my hands and my diaper area off, spread my big Huggies out and lied down on it, I spread some Desitin all over my crotch and bottom and powdered myself, I out in the little Huggies and taped myself up. I put some extra packing tape over the diaper tapes to keep them from popping loose later, that can be a bitch when you're in a crowd and cant fix the problem. it was really warm so I just kind of vegged around the house in just a diaper and a loose t-shirt with no bra, it feels good when my t-shirt rubs against my nipples *smile* I got online for a while and accessed some really cool web sites, I even found an incontinence support group which I quickly joined, Im supposed to be getting some mail about it but it should be a while. I realized that today was the 4th of July, because they were talking about a fireworks display at the marina, I considered going but decided to be lazy and watch it on tv instead. After about two hours online, I had peed at least a few times but I was still far from leaking. I decided to get something to eat wile downloading a big file so I waddled off to the kitchen (walking with diapers on takes a little practice) and tossed a lean cuisine in the microwave, not the height of gourmet but I’m not picky, and hey, it only has 4 grams of fat. I sat back down to eat and look at the picture I had just downloaded. While eating I pooped in my diaper again, and since I was sitting it squished up between my legs, and at that moment, I noticed something that I was kind of ashamed of and still am, the fact was that it actually felt GOOD, I didn’t finish eating but I sat there feeling the warm soft mess cover my bottom, I even slid around in my diaper some before I got into the shower, I didn’t play with myself again ( but Im going to as soon as I put this down and go to bed). The rest of the day went pretty much the same, TV, internet, diaper changes every few hours, and now I’m in bed, so I guess that’s about it diary, I’m a little wet right now, but I’m not going to bother getting changed again, it will hold for the night, and if not, I have a rubber sheet on my bed just in case, nighty-night diary. -Clarissa-