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  1. I’m currently working on a Dear Evan Hansen (musical) omorashi story currently where Evan has paruresis, so if anyone elsenon this side likes that musical keep a look out for me. I’m a bit of a slow writer, but I’m considering posting it in parts of anyone responds suggesting either way or another?
  2. Anyone who took a glance at Evan Hansen could tell he was shy. Anyone. But it went deeper than that. His anxiety was the root of countless problems in his life; his communication skills, his eating, his sleeping, his relationships with those around him. The list went on. However, one insecurity hadn’t proven too much of a problem through his life, though it was quite an annoying. Paruresis. It wasn’t necessarily a danger to his overall condition so he never managed to mention it to his therapist. This mean not receiving any coping mechanisms for it, which in turn led to some situations where he wished his home bathroom was more accessible it so far nothing serious had ever come up. Which is why he didn’t give it much thought when he wasn’t able to use the bathroom at home before school. He didn’t even bother mentioning it to Jared, who he assumed wouldn’t care anyway. As he walked down the entry hall Evan started to feel a small amount of pressure in his abdomen, but it wasn’t hardly enough for him to acknowledge it yet, more of just an optional function. Well, less optional than he’d prefer it in any non-home situation. But it was in no way nothing he couldn’t deal with, he told himself. Still, as he walked to class his mind was racing thinking about the mount of liquids he had consumed and how long school was and the last time he had needed to pee badly and how much he had drank that time. He was so lost in thought he didn’t realize that he had taken the wrong hallway already, and that Jared had started to tag along beside him. “Evan? Evan, you there?” The shorter bit snorted, waving a hand in front of his face. Evan looked up suddenly, blinking as he started to pull himself out of his self-crated daze. “Oh— yeah. Yeah, sorry.” He stammered our immediately. His hand went to the strap of his backpack, fingers rubbing at the seams immediately. “What were you saying...?” The conversation continued as their usual pre-class conversations did; somewhat one-sided, and pretty short anyway. Evan’s mind wandered and it wasn’t an easy thing to hide when it did. Luckily, Jared didn’t seem to mind just talking to no one about who knows what for five minutes. The kid had a lot in his system. Eventually, however, the bell did ring and the two were forced to separate. Jared gave a wave and a spoken farewell and Evan, still wondering exactly how long the school day was, waved with his non-injured arm goodbye. The dull feeling in his lower regions had grown slightly stronger, he realized as he entered his first class of the day. He started to properly worry about if making it would be an issue for him, or if the feeling would half where it was and not bother him again. He decided, after minimal thought, that the feeling would not halt as he knew he had drank more that morning than what had already filtered through, but that it wouldn’t lead to anything more than an uncomfortable urge by the end of the day. What Evan didn’t realize, was how simply and horribly wrong he was. By third period, his mind was set solely on the contents of his bladder, thought it wasn’t nearly full yet. The urge was constant however, and if he were at home he would definitely be doing something about it right about then. But he wasn’t at home, and class was almost over. He resolved to hold it and not drink anything during lunch. Should be easy enough, right? He was wrong. He met up with Jared again during the lunch period. His mind had wandered too far off to pay attention to any of the rambling going on from Jared’s half of the conversation, simply nodding along with little “Mmhms” and “yeahs” on occasion. He hadn’t realized until it was too late what he had said yes to. Jared pulled the bottle of Pepsi out of the vending machine that the two had parked themselves in front of, handing it to him. Evan stood for a moment, almost feeling accused. “Buddy? You there?” Jared snorted, setting he bottle in his hand. “Don’t worry about paying me back, I don’t really care.” He shrugged. “Thanks, Jared. I was pretty— pretty thirsty.” Evan cursed himself silently, but forced a weak smile as he opened the bottle. It fizzed up and over the rim to his hand, the cold liquid dripping down his fingers making his abdomen throb. The two made their way back to their table in the corner of the cafeteria, Evan sipping at the drink disdainfully as to not be rude the whole time. ——— It was nearly the end of the day, and Evan had to go. With how much he had drank that day (not to mention the soda that seemed to flow right through him),he was surprised he hadn’t soaked himself yet. Of course, he was only able to maintain this state by constant fighting in his desk, his legs crossed tightly and hand in a tight fist pressing at his thigh. He didn’t dare hold himself, however. He couldn’t bear the idea of someone knowing just how bad he needed to go. With only about 45 minutes left of class, He was determined to hold on. The occasional spasm between his legs told him otherwise, however. In his position at the back of class, he was able to unbutton the fly of his khaki’s, giving his bladder a bit more room to expand. He sighed slightly, though his hips were still swiveling from side to side on occasion. His mind tended to wander in class, but not nearly his much. He could feel the pressure rising with every passing minute, and the soda was definitely hitting him now. He didn’t even notice the teacher’s voice until Jared elbowed him in the side, making him jump as pressure applied to his abdomen. “Evan, I asked what some of the causes of the French Revolution were?” She raised an eyebrow, seeming to notice how uncomfortable he was. “I-I... Uhm, the levels of p-poverty at the time and the— the living conditions of the poor in comp—comparison to the rich.” He murmured, his mind aching to think about something other than the growing pressure in his bladder. He bit his lip hard as he teased nodded, turning back around. Jared began to notice how off Evan seemed, furrowing his brow and looking over to him. He tapped his shoulder, mouthing a quick ‘you alright?’ The answer, was of course no. But Evan didn’t want to make a big deal. He forced a smile, nodding and crossing his legs tight. There were five minutes of class left. Just five minutes more. Expect Evan knew that wasn’t true. He couldn’t use the bathrooms at school. He had about thirty more minutes with the ride home added on. He didn’t know how he was going to make it. But he was determined to. Jared absolutely knew what was going on by this point, though he didn’t understand why the hell Evan didn’t just use the bathroom after lunch. Evan was so focused on keeping it in, just holding it, holding it, that the sudden ring of the bell made him jump, as well as let out a spurt by mistake. He felt tears jump to his eyes as he felt the slight wetness in his underwear, looking down for just a moment. It hadn’t soaked to his pants just yet, but he knew it wouldn’t be long. He swung his backpack over his shoulder and began the longest walk out of the school of his life. Every step or so, he paused, inhaling sharply and pressing his curled fist into his thigh to attempt to overcome an urge without holding himself. Evan seemed completely unaware of anything around him except the pulsing, burning, tingling sensation in his stomach. His eyes were as wet when he finally got outside of the school, as were his boxers. Jared approached from behind him, reaching out and grabbing his shoulder gently. Evan jumped, a spurt of piss shooting to his pants. It left a quarter sized stain on his khakis. “Dude, I know what’s going on. Just go before you get on the bus, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing.” He cocked his head as Evan shook his. “Jared, You— You don’t understand how much I can’t do that,” his voice was strained and his face bright red as he realized Jared had figured it out. “Why not?” Came the confused response. “It’s— it’s a thing. I can’t explain it. I just can’t. I need to get home.” He stammered, waddling to the bus. Jared followed close behind, not wanting to leave his friend behind. “Well... I don’t understand but... I’m not just gonna leave you alone?” He tried, unsure what to say. “T-thanks, Jared.” Evan’s response was muffled as he sat down in the back seat of the yellow vehicle. His legs were constantly jiggling and his hands were placed firmly at his sides. He squeezed his eyes shut as Jared sat by him. “Please don’t— I— I cant, don’t look..” He whispered, wiping his eyes quickly as he pressed a hand to his crotch. Jared stood, unsure what to do. He moved to he other side of the bus, not wanting to make Evan more uncomfortable. Every little jolt of the bus made him squeak and whimper, his hands trembling at the sides of his thighs. The bus halted to a sudden stop at a light and all of he liquid inside Evan seemed to slam forward, resulting in a dribble from his tip. He gasped softly, tears gathering in his eyes as he pushed a hand between his legs and held himself. The pressure was unbearable and his bladder hurt so much. Even worse, the gasp seemed to attract the attention of other people on the bus, a couple people looking over their shoulder to get a glimpse of what was going on. Evan tried his best to put on a straight face, but the redness of his cheeks and the wetness of his eyes gave way to something else. He was unable to stay still at all anymore, his legs jiggling in front of him, crossing and uncrossing in a lame attempt to try and cover the wet spot that had leaked through the light khaki fabric. “What’s going on with him?” Evan heard a whisper from a couple seats forward. “I dunno. He’s in my math class and doesn’t say shit. Maybe he needs to piss or something.” Came the hushed reply. One of them turned around to look at Evan, not even trying to hide what he was doing. The kid snorted, sitting back down. “Yeah, he’s about to piss himself.” Evan let out a weak whimper right then, squeezing his eyes shut and praying for this all to be a nightmare. He sniffled, biting his lip hard as he felt a drop work it’s way past his tip. He decided them that the one this worse than having to pee this bad, was people knowing he needed to pee this bad. Five minutes ticked by like decades, and tears had escaped Evan’s eyes several times now. The houses around the neighborhoods started to look more familiar and he knew his stop was soon. The bus lurched to a stop two streets away from his and Evan stood up immediately. He closed his eyes and tried to hold his backpack in front of his crotch (unbeknownst to the fact that the wet spots were visible from behind as well) as he walked out of the bus, all eyes staring to him. Jared stood up and started to follow him, staying close behind in somewhat of an attempt to hide the small stains on the back of his pants. Evan stepped out of the bus onto the sidewalk on wobbly legs, waiting until he vehicle drove away completely before letting out a pained gasp and pressing his hands into his crotch. He was leaking almost nonstop now and he knew there was no way he was going to make it, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to try. Jared put a hand on his shoulder, causing yet another spurt of piss to shoot into his khakis in surprised. “Hey, it’ll be okay, you’re gonna make it.” “I’m not— I’m... I’m going to piss myself, it’s not gonna be okay...” Evan’s words slurred together with tears. The pressure in his abdomen had gotten painful and he wanted nothing more than to just let go. “C’mon. Just walk, I’m not gonna leave you.” Evan tried. He really did. He stayed just behind Jared, stopping every once in a while to squirm and grab himself, thankful no one was out in the cold that day. But not everything was possible. The two stood in front of Evan’s house and he couldn’t move. He was so close, so close to relief and he couldn’t move. “Evan, you’re almost there, see? Your house is right there.” Jared was sympathizing with Evan a bit too much, looking around himself in paranoia and hoping no one was there to see what he knew what was going to happen. “I can’t— I’m pissing, I’m—“ His words broke off to a weak sob as he lost control completely, piss practically spraying out of him and staining his pants dark. He seemed to be paralyzed, his hands dig into his crotch as he peed and peed. Jared watched in shock from only s few feet back, his mouth dropped open slightly. When the endless stream dribbled to an eventual stop, Evan couldn’t stop the quiet sobs from escaping his throat. Jared stepped up to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Ev. Ev, it’s okay. Let’s go inside. Your mom isn’t home, right? She works late today, I remember. It’ll be okay.” His voice was soft and caring, just a nice a whisper. “Jared, it’s not— not okay... I just p-pissed myself. In front of you! It’s not okay, it’s not...” He hiccuped, hiding his face in his hands. Jared stepped forward, reaching out and taking his hand gently. He led the trembling boy inside, gently prying his other hand away from his face. “It’s okay, just look at me, Ev.” It took him a moment to comply, his fav weed and puffy from the sudden amount of crying. “Why aren’t you mad at me?” He whispered, unable to think of a single reason why Jared hadn’t left. It earned him a sigh from the other. “Evan, why the hell would I be mad? It was an accident, okay? It wasn’t that bad and now you’re home. And you can clean up and everything will be fine.” He spoke gently, unaware of his unusual the situation was to Evan. “But— but they all saw me, they all saw me on the b-bus and at school, Jared, I don’t know what to do, I don’t think I can go back again—“ His sentence was cut short as Jared leaned in, kissing him gently. He really didn’t know where the action came from. It just seemed like the fastest way to get Evan’s attention away from his embarrassment. It seemed to work fairly well. “You just— you... Why did you...?” Evan stammered, his cheeks a bright pink, looking all around him as if he was expecting someone with a camera to jump out. “It’s not exactly a secret, Ev.” He offered a weak smile through a red face. “And I care about you. You don’t... Did you not like it?” Jared started to question himself before Evan shook his head suddenly. “No! No, I mean, yes. I mean— I liked it. I really really liked it.” Evan’s voice trailed off into a quiet, nervous whisper. “A lot.” Jared’s face lit up quite a bit, a wide smile across his face. “That’s... that’s really good. I liked it too. You knew that. Sorry.” He chuckled weakly, looking down and taking Evans hand gently. “Wanna clean up?” “Y-yeah. Yeah, I think that sounds good.” Evan’s reply was hushed, and despite the terrible occurrence, he decided maybe that day wasn’t so bad.
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