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  1. Hey Y'all! So...I took The Plunge and put Grindr and Scruff on my phone(I'm Bi As Fuck btw). I've been thinking about this for a while, and I'm ready to start looking for my First Boyfriend! I've had Grindr for about a week now and the response has been nothing short of amazing! I've met so many new wonderful people and I'm making lots of new friends. A few Creeps, but I was totally expecting that. I set up my Scruff Profile this afternoon but if I'm being honest, the UI is a little overwhelming. I'm just gonna have to sit down tomorrow and fiddle with it until I figure it out. I'm VERY new to all of this, but I'm having fun nonetheless. The confidence in my body alone has risen by leaps and bounds! In my long history of Mental Illness, this is the first time I've felt this good about myself in YEARS! I feel like I could FINALLY be me! I Came Out to my best friend the other night. We live in the DEEP 'Hood in Austin, and he's a former Gang Member. We've been talking about getting our own place with increasing seriousness, and in order for things to not be awkward when I inevitably started bringing Guys over I had to tell him. He was TOTALLY cool with it! He said he'd never judge me for something like that. I cried off and on for the rest of the night. My first ever Happy Tears. So my reason for writing this is to ask any Grindr/Scruff Vets out there for any advice they may have, no matter how obvious it may seem. I know what I'm attracted to and I know what I'm about as far as Kinks go. But chatting up Dudes seems to be something I suck at for some odd reason. I've had several ok chats and a handful of Prospects, but nothing Solid yet. I'm so glad I did this. I just wish I had all My Shit figured out earlier. I got a lot of lost time to make up for! Thanks Y'all!
  2. Whenever i hold for to long all that happens is i get a cramp in my stomach and its not enjoyable anymore. How to i get that feeling like when your a kid and you absolutely cant hold it anymore your about to burst. And i dont drink so getting drunk isnt an option for me
  3. First off, I got a few messages asking where I went. Sorry to just drop out, but I felt like I wanted to take my experiences to a more private level for several reasons. One of which is that I felt wrong to be posting without the permission of my partner (things are getting more serious, so it's out of respect). The second is that I want to explore more of my personal psychology regarding this whole fetish. Hopefully by the end of this post, I can be forgiven That being said, I have several questions that I would love your input on if anyone has any insight. I will throw out a content warning for this post/thread, but trauma content ahead! I have also posted the links below for the research/articles I'm talking about? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7068517/ https://understanding.infantilism.org/surveys/trauma_and_exposure.php https://metro.co.uk/2019/06/24/teacher-lives-diaper-wearing-adult-baby-help-overcome-child-abuse-memories-10052173/ https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=7495&context=dissertations https://books.google.com/books?id=Ogr-DwAAQBAJ&pg=PA76&lpg=PA76&dq=ptsd+abdl&source=bl&ots=DEVjB6DMDc&sig=ACfU3U39OP_lmFaBOJBWENzwTDOfoFlaNA&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiss4iOx_b3AhXuj4kEHZnXCnYQ6AF6BAgxEAM#v=onepage&q=ptsd abdl&f=false I've recently been coming to terms and processing a lot of harder aspects of my life after determining that I have CPTSD, or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, for those unaware. CPTSD differs a bit from PTSD in that it often occurs in the presence of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) and continued abuse. Instead of one repeated incident, it's many over time with no support system or coping skills in place. Some backstory, I experienced physical abuse, emotional neglect, childhood sexual assault (Age 14), and am currently being treated for CPTSD. I have previously been treated for depression, anxiety, Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (dissociative disorder), and there is suspected ADHD as well, just for some pizzazz. I am an addict, but not currently being treated because well, that's a symptom, not a cause. I am also self-medicating by microdosing shrooms 2x weekly. One of my goals is to take a higher dose and actually trip while diapered. I'm a bit afraid of regressing involuntarily as well. I've always been uncomfortable with the topic of regression, and wouldn't it be telling if I were afraid of it because I subconsciously felt shame about it? That being said, there's research supporting that shrooms can help alleviate symptoms of trauma, but I did not expect how it would work. I've never been so emotional! And I can remember so much stuff now (a blessing and a curse.) Sorry, i digress. In terms of ABDL lifestyle, I have always had a fascination with the art of peeing. I discovered masturbation twice while absolutely bursting twice as a child. I say twice because I forgot in between instances as they were a few years apart. I never had an issue bedwetting or using the toilet, other than being afraid of the flush. I enjoy more DL aspects, and often don't align with AB parts of the fetish. In fact, I'm a bit yucked by some parts of it. I feel disgusted by the crossover of sexual experience and parental care, but before there's any wetting involved, the safety and comfort and cuteness is what makes me happy. There's also research supporting that ABDL lifestyles can be attributed to trauma during infanthood, sexual abuse as a toddler, lack of attachment to their parent, etc. HOWEVER, the research I'm seeing supports this claim only for the AB side of things. And there's overlap between my experiences and their definition of AB. And I believe someone on here asked me once if I was AB or not? So now, I guess my questions are: Do y'all agree about the characterization of the differences between AB & DL? What are your opinions on the connections between trauma and this fetish? Do you think childhood sexual assault or lack of connection is more likely to result in someone enjoying this fetish? Hypothetically. And on a more personal note: How can I further discover my connection to this fetish? Did you struggle to identify yourself as AB or DL or both? What kinds of questions can I ask myself/did you ask yourself to figure this shit out? I appreciate and invite all answers! And if this topic is a bit too sensitive or in the wrong place, please message me and let me know, and I will correct it ASAP. I'm also curious about regression, so if anyone has any related perspectives on that?
  4. first off, bonus points if you remember that headline phrase Hey Guys. I'm moving some furniture around and realized this chair has GOT to be good for wetting while filming from underneath, right? Like if I can figure out how to keep the camera focused on my pee not the chair and you guys are looking up at it while I thrash around and finally lose it... It would all just be wet pale chubby thighs, pussy, a puddle, and my sounds. I can probably throw some sexy shoes in there too. Unless that's not what we want for this look? What do we think? I'm trying to win the first Oscar for porn creative director btw Also I have three of them so if there's any Mid-Atlantic ladies who'd like to hold hands and see who can hold longer... I might be up for that
  5. I've created a burner account here but i was wondering if anyone has any tips for how to enjoy messing/wetting more? I'm new to this and dont know alot. Any ideas, challenges, whatever, are apprechiated. Thanks
  6. I want to stain my underwear, pants, shorts, etc. But i have had some issues. What fabrics hold the stains best after washing? Or how to keep stains after washing? How long do you let them dry? How to avoid molding of the clothes?(had this happen before) How to hide them and keep smell down? Thanks in advance for any help! Also any other questions about stains and how to keep or get rid of them are welcome. Also might as well post your stains in here while we are at it.
  7. Looking to try out diapers for the first time here soon. Will have home to myself for a couple weeks coming up. Was looking for advice on what kind of diapers would be good to try out for a first timer. Preferably something that over the counter and holds a lot. Also any advice in case of nerves or getting over trying to use for the first time. Know it may seem a little strange to ask
  8. I had my first proper wetting experience yesterday where I forced myself to wet the bed. However, it's the 'forced' part I want to improve on. I find it much easier to wet myself standing up, than I do laying down, but I really want to get into wetting while I'm laying down in bed. It's when laying down that I do have to push fairly hard in order to pee, and it can take a while before I actually start 'wetting'. Does anyone have advice or tips to make wetting in general much easier? Or more specifically wetting in bed (/bedwetting) while laying down?
  9. Guys I posted a pic of myself and I want to delete it, I don't know how and I'm freaking out!!!! There's no option to delete it!!!
  10. Okay, so long story short, I'm getting ready to write an actual novel. There won't be any omorashi in it or anything (yes, boo me like the peasant am!), but that's more because it's a bit of a romance novel set in a post-apocalyptic Earth. There will be zombies, Monsters, and a special girl though! I'm looking for anyone who'd be willing to perhaps read it as I write and give suggestions and ideas. There is a lot of excellent writers on here and I figured this would be a good place to seek some advice! If you're interested let me know and I'll send chapters of Google Drive or some other form of sharing!
  11. I've got a question for everyone I'm doing a holding tonight. Doing the rapid method so for the first few hours I'm using water but later in the hold I want to drink something more diuretic. I'm preferably loking for something more bladder irritating, like something that's harder to hold for a long period of time. So here's my question. What's your favorite non-alcoholic drink to hold with? What's you favorite alcoholic drink to hold with? Which alcoholic drinks are the hardest to hold with a for a long period of time>
  12. I have a (rather improvised) guideline that I always follow when introducing the fetish to someone new. So far I have not had any really bad reaction to it. I hope this may help other's here as for many years I have dreamed of trying omorashi and have always been afraid of rejection. So it was a surprise to me realizing that "naive" people are usually open to trying it. I must say this guide may not work so well on every culture, gender and sexual orientation. So please take into consideration this is from the point of view of a heterosexual male in a relatively conservative first-world country (immigrant in Japan). This guide is also mostly for people you have no strong relationships with (dating apps, people you meet on a party, etc). I have never tried with old friends or long serious relationships. Assuming you two met and either had some sexual relations already or are both clearly interested in each other. Telling your partner: Wait for a chat to develop naturally about personal kinks or shameful stuff. Let your partner go first. Try one or two rounds without mentioning omorashi and equalize your reactions to your partner's. Be straightfoward and brief. Say this is something that you find hot and that's enough. Don't look more embarrassed about it than your partner was about what they told you. This artificially levels both confessions and make omorashi seems normal (or as normal as what your partner told you). You would be surprised how many people believe their "I think hands are sexy" is as weird as being excited by someone peeing themselves. Don't tell more details than demanded in the conversation flow. Make it look like it is just part of the conversation and react surprised and say you know many people into it if you partner is shocked by that. Have other stuff to tell after that so it doesn't look like the purpose of the talk was telling about omorashi. Trying for the first time: Unless your partner was deeply shocked and with no words for it when you told them (which I honestly never seen happening), their reaction doesn't really matter. People may say it is disgusting or say they would never do something like that, but one's inhibitions go down as soon as they realize: They can trust you. They are safe with you. You won't impose them anything and you are willing to stop at any time without pressuring them into doing anything. You must be firm in your intentions, but have the concept of consent clear in all your actions. Be sensitive to your partner's signals and emotions. You are not using them. Your partner is not a tool for your fetish, but an agent. The pleasure comes from them, their actions, their words, their body. They must feel desired. They will feel good. Maybe not with omorashi, but you are willing to give them as good of a time as you can. They must believe you will give them an experience they have never had before, that they will be pleased and longing for more. And you better deliver. No surprises, you must be predictable. For the first few times, DO NOT pee yourself, ask THEM to wet. This may seem counter intuitive, but people feel safer and more in control when they are the active person. When they pee themselves they feel ashamed, worry that they are disgusting to you. If you wet yourself they will feel disgusted by you, you are the one making them uncomfortable, and they won't want to be with you ever again. Wait until they are horny to ask. When you see they want to do something for you. Ask directly and don't insist if they say no. Wait for the perfect, safest situation. They must have an extra change of clothes, or you must be willing to wash and dry their clothes before the next day. Don't make too much of a mess on the first time, maybe wetting only panties on the shower, or only peeing a little on their pants is enough. If they seem uncomfortable of comment on the smell or feeling, ask if they would like to have a shower with you first before going on. Don't get the situation too detached from regular sex. While they wet don't just look or talk; touch, kiss, lick.... use your hands and mouth, look excited, help them removing their wet clothes in a sensual way, etc. Continuing to enjoy omorashi: If the person did it for you. Don't ask again next time. Wait for them to suggest it, now the ball is on their court. If they don't suggest it for a long time, or if they seemed ashamed after it, it may be worth talking about how good you felt that they did it for you. A few people will get really into it and want to do it for you every time you meet for the simple reason they feel excited by making you excited. Keep showing them how good you feel and rewarding them for their effort in the same coin. Some will only do it for your enjoyment. They won't feel embarrassed about it, but also won't really get any sexual pleasure from it. Don't insist and I hope you can enjoy regular sex for many times in between the omorashi sessions. A few may feel too embarrassed or ashamed from the first experience. Don't make it worse for them and don't be a creep. If you have any other tips, please leave a comment. I'm specially interested in how to tell old friends with whom you ended up romantically involved. I'd love to hear about other experiences.
  13. below is a link to my most recent work I'd like advice on how to improve my writing to make my stories better. I want to make my account be know within the community for its stories. I took a creative writing class before i wrote this (as in between my last works) I know i have trouble writing about desperation. Things I want my storys to be like. I want them to be dark, and descriptive. I want to have the effect of catching interest and maintaining it. Please advice would be greatly appriciated
  14. I didn't find an older thread like this and I'd love to see what happens with it. So if you have any kind of advice about anything, please share. It can be about computers, heartbreak, choosing a movie, training, body modification, relaxing... Anything. Just please don't advice us to do anything illegal or immoral, but I don't even know why I said that because you're smart people and you don't need to be told to not say stupid stuff. Like this: The secret to good bread is good kneading. If you're sick and you feel like you may throw up at some point during the day, eat ice cream, yoghurt or something else that's soft and creamy, because you have to eat something and these things are the easiest to throw up. If your skin is light in color, use sunscreen. Even on cloudy days. It protects your skin against cancer, burning and wrinkles. Remember to apply everywhere that is exposed to light, ears and neck too. And the most important advice ever: whenever reading advice about something, remember that not all advice work for all people.
  15. Recently I started dating someone new, ive only been with two people before i meet this guy (who i will call Marsh) but my now ex (who we will call Cap) really helped me gain some sexual experiences despite him (not me) being a virgin when we meet. Everything Cap ended up learning was based around what i wanted and my pleasure when it came to sex. But Marsh wasnt a virgin, he had a girl before me that ruined his confidence in bed even though it was his first time. she told him he was bad at it and it kinda ruined his first experience. Upon getting with me i was a bit more sexually experienced and not so concerned about what could go wrong in the bed room, confidence that was probably scary for him. Marsh focuses on if he is doing it "right" and making me reach the orgasm. He is afraid to try new positions in bed, and often gets "stuck" in just one (stuck as in he starts in one position and wants to finish that way too). He doesnt like me playing with myself because he thinks that means he cant please me, and the idea of toys hasnt really come up to much even though i would like to try them. Other then these things, his man hood is a bit unusual. (it curves slightly to the left). something i think he is more concerned about now. Anyway, how do i make him more confident, and willing to try new things in bed, he already really likes pee stuff as well as a few other things, but when it comes time to preform his nerves get the best of him. i would really like to hear some opinions on this from guys or girls. I really wanna help him.
  16. So im a fairly new driver, ive been driving for almost a full year now as i got my license late due to the lack of a car and no one to drive with me at the time. I was a very confident driver until ive run into a few incidents where (was my fault) and now im paranoid in the car alone. There had been one time where i tried pulling into a parking space and knew i wasnt gonna fit so i pushed on the break and it jerked my car into the rear end of a family car. Another was following my mom somewhere (never again) and she stopped in the middle of a 4 lane highway, and where we needed to go and she didnt think i could keep up, but they were far away so i went around her, and almost got into a collision. Then of course ive had small incidents, not accidents at all, but here where i live no one uses stop signs, so ive almost gotten hit many times, or due to everyones shitty driving, i make sure to look both ways (like any responsible driver should do) and then if i know there are people i wait, but then i get honked at constantly or like today everyone apparently cant wait and everyones driving shitty, a few were turning left and i had to make a right, i looked, saw no one coming, then decided to go, when someone sped up and turned and started honking at me a lot, i thought it was my fault i feel paranoid at times driving thinking everything is gonna hit me, or that im constantly doing something wrong, and i have admit i have done some dumb shit by accident, some i didnt understand, some were mistakes when i was in another state, but im still alive and learned from it, but now im constantly scared at times to drive what do i do?
  17. Its been five months since i left my ex for someone else, we were together for 2 years and a few months. My family loved him, and so did my god brother. My god brother was close to my late mom, actually his mom and my mom were best friends. he grew up with my sister, but i felt like we had more of a connection after finally meeting him my freshman year of college as a professor. As far as family goes i never had much of a relationship with any of them, but i felt like he understood me a bit better and were similar in many ways. it's funny because we arnt blood related, and he is the same age as my sister but me and my sister never got along, he grew up with her and doesnt get along with her that much. I felt like he actually cared and wanted to help me. Until my break up happened. My ex would always run to him and talk to him about what was going on, regardless of the out come my god brother still said he would always see my ex as a friend, fine. I have nothing to do with that. But i feel as though he has taken my god brother. Since summer has started i havent seen him, ive asked to hang out and visit but he is never available, but when ever my ex wants to do something with him hes always ready to do something and have him over. He's over there a few times a week at the minimum at least once. I feel like he has given up on me, and adopted my ex. i cant shake the feeling that he thinks ive done some moral wrong by leaving my ex, i dont just feel it from him. my grandma and other members of my family adore him as well and often say he saved me, and helped me graduate. (im 2 years older then him). Five months later im with someone else, happier, but sadden by the creeping idea that my family has given up on me because i left someone they considered to be my savior are my feelings wrong, what could be happening that my god brother doesnt wanna talk to me but will talk to my ex... its just confusing
  18. Hello all, some of you know me some don’t. My real life friends won’t help me with this subject as they all told me it would fuck up. So since I’ve met some great people on here I was hoping maybe you would be able to advise me on this... 18months ago I got with my first girlfriend (was with guys before) and we had a lot of fun and it felt near perfect. Her university course ended in August and she went back home which is 200miles away. We agree a long distance relationship could work. a couple weeks back home she admits she struggling getting a work homelife balance so I back off a little and tell her we can meet up when it’s all sorted. We keep in touch and have a laugh by phone and text, now it’s been six months and I feels I’ve let her down and don’t know what to do! I had to fight so hard to get her to agree to give me a go and now I think I’ve fucked it all. O really don’t want to lose her as I have fallen in love (I know the big L word) I’ve told her I think I was falling for her and she was ok with it, not scare or anything but she didn’t say it back. Do you guys think I’ve fucked up? Any advise for a stupid person? Love bree xx ????
  19. Wasn't quite sure if this should go in off topic form or here but since it was still pee related I thought this would be okay... but enough about that. I had a procedure done at my urologists office today and durning the test they could only fill my bladder up with a catheter to 280ml (which is below average) before my bladder was in pain and felt I needed to pee very badly. I don't have the full test results or a treatment plan from my doctor yet, but I just wanted some advice since I was feeling nervous about the test and results. I tend to use the bathroom very often. I can bairly hold past 2 hours if I have had anything at all to drink and if I drink a lot of liquid at once I need to pee several times each hour for a few hours after what I drank. I also have a problem with needing the bathroom several times each night. I think it was diagnosed as nocturna. (That may be spelled wrong) This causes me to always be aware of where bathrooms are in public and makes me very anxious when I am not near one. I wanted to know if anyone else had a similar problems and what they do to fix or help them. I have read lots about diapers for those with overactive bladder, but I do not have accidents despte having several close calls, so I'm just not sure I would want to do that. I have read about bladder training and talked to my doctor about it but it did not seem to help much when I tried. I have also tried some different medications prescribed by the urologist which helped quite a bit, but gave me nasty side effects along with it. Which was why it was then time for the tests I had today. Any advice or stories from those with overactive bladders or anything similar really would be appreciated and sorry for any spelling errors I am writing from my phone. Thanks in advance!
  20. I have been dating a girl I love for almost two years. I opened up to her about my love for wetting a few months ago and she said if it turned me on, she would love to do it for me and has wet her pants for me several times. However, for months now, when it's not involved it has become increasingly difficult for me to stay hard when we have sex to the point where she feels it's just not working. Maybe once out of every five times I can stay hard and that's just not a healthy ratio. It didn't used to be a problem and she, understandably so, has taken it quite personally. I feel that excessive masturbation has also played a role. And it's not as if she doesn't turn me on but no matter how much I say otherwise, it's hard for her to believe and makes her feel bad about herself. Just wondering if any others have experienced something similar and if there are any tips to overcome it. Thank you in advance.
  21. Hey guys, I'm fairly new to this forum and have never posted before. Having seen others postings it's encouraged me to put myself out there a bit and ask for some advice. I've been currently dating this girl for about 8 months now. We both love each other and have even spoke about moving away once we graduate college ( 5 months away) to pursue our careers together in a new place. So a little back story, she was a virgin before we got together so i was her first. I have a huge foot fetish and I told her early on in our relationship just to be straight forward. It was hard for me at first as a teenager to be comfortable with my fetish until i hit my twenties then I just accepted who I was and what I liked. It took her a little while to get use to it, it was a process but she understands now. So now we're at the real reason for this post, I love water sports and incorporating peeing with sex. I had a curiosity about it a few years back, I was with a girl who was open and did it for me, and ever since then I've always fantasized about it. Because it honestly some of the best most wet sex i've ever had and it was such a turn on. Now fast forward to my current relationship, This is still a huge fetish of mine and I would love to have my girlfriend pee on me but I'm honestly terrified of asking her. It took a lot for her to accept my foot fetish and become comfortable, i know that this is an entirely different level.. especially since i know it can come off as an insanely weird fetish. I know it took time for her to adjust to my foot fetish so that's why I'm so hesitant to ask her for this. I love my girlfriend but I know the whole kinky aspect of sex is still new territory for her and i understand that. I just wanna know when is the right time to bring this up?, sometimes I feel like it might never happen because it might just freak her out.... but I don't wanna be that guy that doesn't do something because he's afraid of just going for it and asking. Seeing everyones posts has helped me to even write this up because It's nice knowing i'm not the only one who has this fetish. I want this to happen with my girlfriend at some point I truly care for her and I don't want her to think I'm crazy for this, I just need a little advice on how I should even bring this up, and when Is the right time to talk to her about this? Thanks to everyone, you guys helped me to even post this thread. And thanks for any advice in advance.
  22. For years, my go-to has been the Depends Maximum Protection (I know, I know) since it was readily available at local stores. Now that every store around me has stopped carrying anything plastic-backed or decently absorbent out of a crippling fear of money, I'm forced to buy online. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; hell, it opens me up to a whole new world of potentially (and in many cases, objectively) better products. Unfortunately, I have no idea where to start. I've seen the list of good stuff (IE: Abena, Molicare, etc), but I'm just not sure which one I'd prefer and, as a starving college student, I'd like to have an idea of what I'm in for before I spend a ton of money. I know this topic is by no means original, but what kind do you prefer and why? I'd like to use your advice as a starting point for myself. I'm by no means a connoisseur, I'm only looking for plastic backed and holding a decent amount before leaking.
  23. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost eight months now, and I've never been able to straight out say that I have a desperation/wetting fetish. I told him a while back that I get turned on by public humiliation (I do) and mentioned that "women pissing themselves in public" as an example of something humiliating, but I've rarely expanded on it. There have been a few times in our relationship that I've become quite desperate but he's always good to lead me to a restroom. Recently we were in a van coming home from a weekend trip (a friend of ours was driving) and I was busting. He rested his head on my lap and a few minutes later asked if I was bouncing my legs, and I nodded, telling him how badly I had to go and that I was holding myself. We were only about 15 from his house and he mentioned that to me, and said for me to "run in" as soon as we get there. But after saying that, he shoved his head under my top and pressed his face against my belly, because it was "so warm." This caused me to squeak and I demanded him to stop, but he thought it was funny and brought up the "public humiliation" thing. (I do admit I was a bit turned on). As soon as we got to his place I did run in as he suggested and went. Even more recently a miscommunication caused him to flat out ask me if watching him pee would turn me on/ if I had a urine fetish, which I denied because of the look on his face when he asked and the company we were in. (Plus my fetish revolves more around the desperation and wetting as opposed to straight up peeing). Anyways, I'm afraid to tell him the truth about my main turn on. I was actually thinking about a sort of planned accidental wetting to see how he reacts, but I'm not sure?
  24. So considering this is a fetish site I'm sure everyone here masturbates to omorashi. But does it ever feel like masturbation lost its sensation? I'm sure a lot of guys can relate to this. Anyone have any tips on having a more satisfying masturbation?
  25. Hey guys, I have a question. In a few days I think will have the opportunity to introduce a partner to desperation and wetting. She is not sure if she is into any of it, but would like to try. What do you suggest for someone's first time like this? Thanks in advance!
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