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lillyz

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About lillyz

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  1. lillyz

    The thing i cant tell anyone

    Hi Understanding world. I am struggling as i have no one to talk too about my deepest darkest diaper needs I've been silently in this world for a long long time... Its a world hidden from everyone in my life. No one knows but me. I am a 40 year old wife, mother, and business woman in a small city so ya people would not understand. Heck even i don't understand! I battle silently with my love for diapers and being helpless and small. I put it away for a while and convenience myself it is gone only to have it return again and again... especially when i am anxious or overdone. To top it off I am a Christian so i even battle faith vs feelings in myself... like I am not strong enough to do what is right. I don't totally trust writing here as I wrote something once years back and some guy just wanted to talk to me for less then appropriate reasons. Its not sexual to me, its a control and release. Wearing diapers gives me a tiny smidgen of control over myself in a world where life just is crazy and doesn't always feel safe. SO no... i wont post pictures or video myself. Anyways believe it or not after almost 20 years of creating my own diapers out of towels or blankets, today i went to the store and bought some depends overnights. They aren't babyish, but i can hide them under my clothes with ease. So yep. I actually bought some. Now I am happily wearing multiple ones and they are getting quite wet. I wish i didn't feel this way, but even more i just didn't want to be alone tonight. Thanks for hearing me out... Lizzy
  2. lillyz

    Will an always pad work?

    I have really taken to liking wearing about 4 always infinity overnight period pads. All cut into to absorb into each other. My husband doesn't know about my fetish but wants nothing to do with period shopping so it's easy for me to keep stocked and undetected. When done right they can feel great and absorb quite a lot (to the point where I just basically go in little bits for a couple hours without thinking twice about it). Easiest to purchase for sure.
  3. This is my first time writing in here.. I am in my 30s and recentely have succummed to reverting back to my fetishes that i have dealt with on and off for the last 20 years now.. My husband wants nothing to do with it which makes me sad.. anyways he was working last night and I drank so much water.... I diapered myself up and peed through it, and then through the towel that I had on the couch in case my accident got a little out of control.. I then through that in the wash and thought I was done... nope... I sat on a towel (not trusting myself and stuck some more padding between my legs (I wish I could have a steady stream of cute thick disposable diapers... but I cant afford to buy or hide them) and without even thinking of it ended up wetting though all of that... then another 'just in case' towel I had put on the couch as well... I like having to put a towel down to sit on and not trusting myself to stay dry... and I really like when I am proven right, and it get's literally accidentally all wet too.. I don't know why I am even posting... guess I am just looking for understanding from people who understand what is going on in my head and the feelings in my body...