Riality

Established Member
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    96
  • Joined

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11 Appreciated

1 Follower

About Riality

  • Rank
    Leaking
  • Birthday 09/17/2000

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    heliavanomo.tumblr.com

Personal Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Sexual Orientation
    Homosexual
  • Interests
    Besides omo, I really like writing, dancing, reading and rocking the stage (or the rehearsal room) with my bass guitar along a variety of anime, cartoons and series. And owls. I love owls!

    My favorites:

    ♥Anime/Manga♥
    Dragonball (Z)
    Black Butler
    Free!
    Katekyo!
    Death Note
    Hetalia
    B Gata H Kei
    Fate/stay night UBW

    ♥Series♥
    Supernatural
    Community
    HIMYM
    The Big Bang Theory
    American Horror Story
    That 70s Show

    ♥Cartoons♥
    Bob's Burgers
    Family Guy
    South Park
    American Dad
    The Simpsons
    Winx Club

    ♥Celebrities♥
    Misha Collins
    Jensen Ackles
    Jared Padalecki
    Olly Murs
    Rammstein
    Subway to Sally
    Eisblume

    ♥Singers/Bands♥
    Rammstein
    Subway to Sally
    Eisblume
    Nirvana
    Hugh Laurie
    Kiss
    Queen
    Marilyn Manson
    Letzte Instanz
    In Extremo
    Schandmaul
    Faun
    Olly Murs
    My Chemical Romance

    ♥YouTubers♥
    KuchenTV
    PewDiePie
    Good Mythical Morning
    Michael Buchinger
    SpaceFrogs
    grav3yardgirl
    Coldmirror
    Myharto
    Jacksepticeye

    ♥Shippings♥
    Destiel
    Louise Belcher x Logan Bush
    Mephisto x Faust
    Goten x Trunks
    Hartmut x Elsbeth (both OCs)
    Rick x Steve
    Rhett x Link
    Jeff x Ben
    Paul Bäumer x Stanislaus Katczinsky
    Schiller x Goethe
    Gilbert Beilschmidt x Prince Vegeta (Vegebert)
    Sean McLoughlin x Michael Buchinger (Miseanel)
    MyHarto x TheRPGMinx (Hannelle)

Recent Profile Visitors

1,205 profile views
  1. Social contact is something that I only know from the dictionary.
  2. I was born a girl, grew up using feminine pronouns and still identify as a female. I've been noticing lately, however, that I don't use feminine pronouns anymore when talking about myself. For example, I'd say that I'm an actor, but not an actress, although I do identify as female. If I was asked for my actual gender, I'd say female, since that's what I identify as. And I have absolutely no problem with referring to myself as lesbian instead of just going by gay, which also applies to females. It's just that I don't use feminine words when describing myself. And that's what kind of confuses me, as I want to be female, and I have no idea what I would be f not female.
  3. Air freshener
  4. So, thank you for listening all the time. It made me feel less left alone :)
  5. I might actually come back to that, thank you for the offer. I feel like sometimes I really just need someone to talk to without being obligated to follow their advice, as this is often harder than it seems About the incident yesterday btw, I was overly worried for no apparent reason. She 'only' got in a fight with her mother who accused her of "being too afraid for an actual relationship", as we would have met earlier if she weren't. And she also talked about me not being actually allergic to cats but using it as an excuse for my fear of an actual relationship, too. I don't understand how in the world one would think that, but for now I'm just happy that my girlfriend is okay and that there's no need to worry about her too much. Her supposedly psychosomatic stomach aches btw were most probably actually caused by the pizza she'd had for dinner.
  6. From time to time I meet up with my school's social worker, whom I tell about stuff like that and other things that bother me. But I won't see her for another two or three weeks
  7. Meanwhile, we actually talked about that. I told her that she can tell me anything without having to be afraid of burden me with it, as it does rather burden both of us even more if she didn't tell me anything. So far, she actually seemed to get better, which I'm really hoping. But I also discovered that I'm on the best way to become a manipulative piece of shit, despite not wanting this at all. I don't think that this is what she needs, nor what she deserves. Of course I can't force her to tell me something when she's not comfortable with it! I would just like her to tell me as soon as she's comfortable with it. That's actually what is going on at the moment. She's on vacation right now, and apparently something really bad happened to her, leaving her crying and having psychosomatic stomach aches. It's just not knowing what exactly is going on, and I know that I won't sleep well because of it. On the other hand, I'll literally be left alone with it, as my girlfriend would be the one I would always confront first. But how can I dare telling her that I am everything but feeling well about the situation when she is feeling over 9000 times worse? I know, the whole "You can't cry because other people feel worse" is a lot like "You can't be happy because other people feel better", but I don't think of it to be a good idea to rant to my girlfriend about a situation she is in making me feel bad. It's not her fault she got in this situation, so it's not her fault I'm feeling bad now. Why should I even bother her with it?
  8. I can't sleep without my arms full of plushies. My favorite is a panda named after my girlfriend. I can't sleep without her (the panda, had no opportunity to sleep with my arms wrapped around my girlfriend yet, unfortunately)
  9. I'm not listening to music currently, so I'm going with the last song I listened to. That's Hey Beautiful by The Solids
  10. Before I start, some backstory: My girlfriend and I have been together for three months now. (Btw, it's a long distance relationship) We are still super in love, and had been best friends before. We used to send those cute text messages to each other and just were happy with our relationship. Some time ago, however, I noticed her not being as happy about having me as she used to. Instead she happened to be more silent, most of the time didn't even answer my texts. I was okay with that, tho. She had told me to be quite stressed from school and stuff, so I accepted it the way it was and left her the space that she apparently needed. About a month ago, she was particularly apathetic. I went on as usual when she saw my messages but didn't answer. So I just told her about my day, texted her what I usually do, not worrying at all. During the day, I started worrying, asked her if she was okay. That's when I also got circulation problems because I was absolutely worried. I kept asking whether she was okay, if i could help her in any way. She took her while to reply, but finally told me that I shouldn't be as worried since she was physically(!) okay, and would just need time and space. Well, I didn't worry less, au contraire. I actually figured her to be psychically not okay, which I found to be even worse than her just being sick or injured. Around the end of the day, she had finally gathered the strength to tell me what had happend. She told me about her last class being cancelled, so she got home early. That's when she witnessed her brother about to attempt suicide and herself stopping him from doing it, calling their mom, the police... She told me about almost having forgot that I was still having class when it happened, so she had almost called me in hope for my support. And I told her that I would probably have looked for a way to leave class in order to listen to and support her, if she had done it. As soon as I was aware of the situation, I played the role of the caring, supportive girlfriend that I am; constantly worrying about her but not helicopter-ish. My priority was literally making her feel better - at least to an extent that wouldn't end in me not doing anyhing else than texting her all the motivitional quotes that I could find. Within days or weeks, she got better and apparently could carry on pretty well. We went back to talking as we used to, revived the jokes that we used to make. All in all we were just being living our lives again, and being cute to each other and stuff. I still kept in mind what had happened, thus being more considerate than usual when necessary. The next few days went by without any bigger incidents. Our conversations were "normal" again, there was no trace of what had happened. That carried on until last monday. Both of us had had a bad day, and it ended in at least one of us crying. Tuesday and Wednesday, too. I mean, I couldn't expect her to have time for me, as she took a major Chemistry test on Thursday for which she actually needed to memorize the PSE. That did not prevent me from feeling alone and maybe even unloved. But I wouldn't have been a good girlfriend if I did. Eventually I confronted her on Saturday, my birthday. We had a fight about how I shouldn't tell her about the nice things that I had when I knew that she had to study all day for a variety of tests that she has to take in the next few weeks. But that was not that big of a deal as it should have been, and the day ended in her being willing to listen to me complaining about my week and everything. That's when I notices how she didn't act as supporting as she used to. She would just tell me that she couldn't comfort me even if she tried. I was eventually okay with that, and we went to sleep. Then, today happened... I had just finished band rehearsal where I had been told to take bass classes. I actually got the number of the #1-teacher in this town - an offer I couldn't dare to decline. But if I take classes I wouldn't have any time for my girlfriend Monday through Wednesday. And that's something she did complain about earlier. We talked about that for some more time until I concluded that I should take classes; she had told me that if she got the opportunity of taking art-classes, she would to it even if it meant that we wouldn't have time for each other on Thursday and/or Friday, too. I concluded to take bass classes for myself, when she told me that she would spend her vacation in Greece, and that it means that we won't have any opportunities of communication as she will only have wi-fi in the lobby of her hotel. Of course that wasn't what I would have liked to hear in a situation like this, when I was already upset. But I can't stop her from going on vacation with her family. So I just told her to send a post card, on which she replied that she probably wouldn't remember. I however concluded that she didn't love me (anymore), as I followed my own logic: "If you love someone, you think of them, thus you remember stuff like this", and I did make a scene. About a post card, how it would be a huge gesture to show affection and love and whatnot. Long story short: I was being the pathetic little piece of shit that I actually am. A couple minutes later, she had had enough. And she sent me a long text in which she told me to stop complaining to her about her, as she's having a hard time. A month ago her brother almost attempted suicide, another time their step father left them, and now she's having the worst schedule she could imagine. I instantly felt so horribly sorry for being such an inconsiderate egocentric piece of shit, and complaining about something trivial as a post card. But I literry did not know about any of these, except the thing with her brother. So, how am I supposed to know about all this if she doesn't tell me? I now just feel so bad for having complained about such trivial stuff, when she was having the worst time of her life. I know that I can't expect her to tell me about everything, wich I don't do. But I feel so dumb and like I am being a bad girlfriend for not being able to simply know what's going on, let alone actually helping her.
  11. That's a thing one could torture me with, YouTube videos entirely dedicated to this. Regarding, that I used to cry whenever I was exposed to these sounds; especially the sound of pens clicking
  12. Whatever floats your boat. I wouldn't ever judge you for that. I just don't understand how you would find these sounds as relaxing. The sound of unwrapping this kind of things is alright for me, too. That's not a too loud and penetrant sound, I can tolerate it. Well, in the end both of us are weird in different ways, I guess
  13. I am really sensitive to noises like chewing, breathing or the clicking sound of a ballpoint pen. Literally everyone I know does know about that. Yet they don't stop it - au contraire! Whenever I complain to my mother about how the sound of her eating crunchy foods bugs the shit out of me, she replies to that by chewing even louder. I have been so close to slapping my own mother so many times just because of this. And I hate everyone for being inconsiderate about this and for making even louder sounds, just to fuck me up. It's not cool, people.