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orangelion

đź’› Gold Member
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About orangelion

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    Soggy

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  • My pronouns are..
    he/him

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  1. Episode "Kill Team Kill" in the new Season 3 of Love Death + Robots starts with an explicit scene of a man peeing. I'm aware that some episodes are sexually explicit, but I wasn't expecting an explicit peeing scene. I'm not into male peeing, but I thought some of you might enjoy knowing about an a peeing scene in a pretty mainstream series. I'm not posting a clip for copyright reasons, but here is a screenshot.
  2. Things are getting interesting! This story is a bit unusual and unrealistic, but I am enjoying the fact that is different than other stories. It could have been better if you explained in more detail some of the characters' thoughts and actions, especially Hailey's. You say that her bladder gave up for some reason; it would make the story better to give an explanation. For example, maybe Hailey had been desperate and was going to the bathroom and then she caught Noel trying to spy on her then she decided to punish him. While she goes back to the group to punish him you can also give subtle hints that she is desperate by having her keep her legs together or squirming a bit. Then seeing George pee and cry was too much for her and she lost control. Lastly, I think it was odd that no one commented on Hailey peeing herself since it was so unexpected and not a thing that usually happens. I figured at least the other girls would say something. I also think that Hailey fell in love with George too suddenly without much explanation. Perhaps it would have been better for her to develop an interest in him in this chapter and then fall in love and kiss him in the next chapter. One minor thing is that George crying "waaahhh" or "uuwwaaa" makes him sound a like a baby. I've never heard a a grown person cry "waaahh". Perhaps you can describe his crying differently? I don't mean to sound too overly critical. I am enjoying the story and look forward to the next chapter. I'm just trying to give constructive criticism so that you can improve your story. One last question. Why not post this in the first chapter's thread? If you are worried about your story getting buried under all the posts and no one seeing new chapters then you don't have to worry about that. Every time there is a new post in a thread it goes back to the top of the list.
  3. It's a great first chapter! I think it's interesting that you wrote it in play style with a narrator and audience. I prefer traditional style of writing, but I still enjoyed this and it did make it easier to determine who is speaking. I'm not a fan of the emojis though, it makes it seem like they are texts.
  4. I'm actually surprised that they look that good given that you drew them on an iPhone, even if you did cheat. You're right that they isn't much art of bladders deflating, so I'm glad that you are contributing to that.
  5. This is chapter is full of interesting developments! The crossover being the biggest and most unexpected one. Cassie showing Karenna that she is interested in her. And Mary-Ann wetting in public without being in fear of getting caught. I'm interested in seeing how these things further develop.
  6. These are some decent drawing, even if they are a bit rough. I think the urethra in some of them is too big though. I think the size of the urethra in you first post is more accurate
  7. You can just right click on the video in the post and select "save video as"
  8. My favorite is the second picture as it is basically what I requested. I really like how you included a picture of her face yelling at Jason in despair even though it wasn't in my request.
  9. For the second picture I propose the scenario of the girl waking up naked and desperate. She goes to the bathroom and sees it locked as her boyfriend is taking a shower. She tries yells at him to open up the door, but he can't hear her over the shower. The picture is her kneeling in front of the door trying to hold it and leaking.
  10. Here's 2 https://www.omorashi.org/files/file/10086-school-girl-undresses-and-tries-to-hold-it-without-hands/ https://www.omorashi.org/files/file/10485-holding-and-leaking-in-a-bathtub/ In these two the models are standing and I'm sure their feet are getting wet, but their feet aren't in frame https://www.omorashi.org/files/file/10605-busy-house-wife-pees-on-floor-again/ In this the woman nonchalantly pees standing up
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