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Jimmy Olsen

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Everything posted by Jimmy Olsen

  1. I'm sorry to hear about your severe injury and long recovery. I feel somewhat guilty saying I enjoyed your bedpan story and I'm grateful that you shared it with us.
  2. I'd like to compliment you on the old Gurren Lagann fic I read today. You're very good with dialog and excellent with descriptions. I've never seen the anime but I felt like I knew Yoko and Nia after reading a little of what you wrote. I like it when polite regal women have to go, and I like it when sheltered women have to go outdoors, and I also like it when women go standing up, and so I loved the story of Nia's desperation and relief! Yoko's ordeal was good also, and the two characters complement each other nicely. Well done!

  3. I read "A Not So Enjoyable Party." It's not my kind of story, but the descriptions of desperation are great! I'd love to see you write about a more pleasant situation where a woman becomes increasingly uncomfortably full while trying to maintain her dignity. I'll tell you an idea I had a while back (which was for an Equestria Girls fanfic but it should work fine with original characters). It's an outdoor photoshoot (maybe an expensive professional affair or maybe an Instagram Influencer kinda thing) in a gorgeous and unique yet remote and inaccessible spot. The model, an affluent city girl who's used to a cushy lifestyle, has to ride for hours in an off-road vehicle and then change her clothes behind the bushes when they get here because there are no modern conveniences to be found. She thinks this "misery" will all be worthwhile when the fabulous photos come out. As it turns out the biggest problem is that she won't use substandard toilet facilities much less the outdoors. She's never relieved herself outside in her life and wouldn't know how even if she wanted to. Due to the long trip and other delays she gets more and more desperate, but she tries to hold her head high and stay classy, and she denies that there's a problem when people start asking what's wrong. Before the end of the shoot her bladder crisis is so severe that she can't even stand still to be photographed. She has to admit that she's moments away from an accident and doesn't know what to do. One of the people there (maybe the driver) is a friendly country girl who takes her aside and shows her the clean and safe way for a woman in a dress to urinate outdoors (it was too urgent for her to change out of the fancy outfit or even take off the high-heel boots). This rugged girl also has a fair volume of urine in her so she makes her body a visual aid and takes a leak next to the city girl. Once her bladder is empty her modeling skills are back up to 100% and she looks fabulous in the finished photos. If you decide to write this story you don't have to follow this plot to the letter.
  4. I have an idea I've never written that fits this request. Imagine a slumber party at a house with thin walls. One of the girls has difficulties using toilets outside her own home, and now being able to hear people outside the bathroom and knowing they can hear her is making it impossible for her to drain her ever-growing bladder. One of the girls knows a hypnotic technique that will put a person's body in an extremely relaxed state where the urine will readily flow. She warns the others that it will work on anyone who hears her voice and so everyone needs to empty their bladders before she begins. One girl finds this totally unbelievable and neglects to use the bathroom despite a moderate need. So when the hypnotic girl employs her technique the suffering girl achieves total relief, the other girls also go limp, and the stubborn one wets her pyjamas. Little do they know the overprotective mother of the girl hosting the sleepover has been listening to everything, and she uncontrollably relaxes and relieves herself next to her puzzled husband. The girl's curious brother has also been listening, and is found collapsed in a puddle in the hallway. Of course before long everyone returns to normal consciousness and the wetters experience normal amounts of embarrassment.
  5. I hope my critical comments didn't discourage you. I do really enjoy this story, I just wanted to let you know what areas you can work on as you continue your writing career/hobby.
  6. Based on my experience from other sites it seems that omorashi fans enjoy it when a man puts on a game face but signs of his bladder discomfort show through. Two different women specifically mentioned loving it when men whimper softly in pain.
  7. "Piss" and "shit" seem vulgar to me. Unless she's going for shock value I'd prefer she said "pee" and "poop." That's if she's being open about it. It's sort of endearing when women use euphemisms instead of blunt words.
  8. I've completed a fairly detailed review of the early chapters, as I said I would long ago. I apologize for taking so long to read your story and organize my notes. I'd like to continue through Chapter 5 and beyond, but I don't know when I'll find the time. The story gets off to a strong start with wonderfully eloquent descriptions. Just when it seems like it might be getting too verbose, you settle into a more casual and succinct style that's more fitting for a story of this length. My only serious complaint about the writing style is that sometimes you suddenly switch back and forth between formal prose and low slang which can be jarring to read. There's also a little issue with tenses that becomes more noticeable after a while. You tell the story in the past tense, but sometimes describe the qualities of people and things in the present tense, leading to more jarring clashes. Chapter 2 is nothing exciting, but provides a good introduction to Sam's friends, her home life, and her place in school. The family conversations in Chapters 2 and 4 are potentially confusing, requiring multiple readings for me to understand the situation. I don't know if that's your fault or mine. I greatly enjoy Chapter 3, but can't think of much to say. It's simply a fine sequence of mounting stress and desperation that gives way to compounding disasters at the end. Chapter 4 covers a lot of ground, and I'm not going to bog you down with comments on everything. The classroom scene illustrates the tough time Sam is having in school, and also introduces 2 characters and builds on the introduction of a 3rd. There's a lot of information and emotion in 1 short scene, which then abruptly ends right after the climax. If I were you I'd give events like this some more space for development and thus a more gentle rise and fall. The remainder of Chapter 4 is a nice scene for fleshing out the characters of Sam and her friends and establishing their different attitudes toward waste. After a few chapters I notice that your scenes of dialog and interpersonal interactions tend to be quick and to-the-point. Arguments can rapidly go from 0 to 100, subjects can suddenly change, etc. This helps maintain the breezy pace I mentioned before, but makes some parts feel disjointed and unnatural. It's the sort of thing that could be a flaw or just part of the style, depending on one's point of view. The chemistry scene in Chapter 5 is pleasant but brief. I'd guess its purpose is to establish the character of the teacher who will play an important role later. The flashback gives us an entertaining scene without disrupting the present story, plus more insight into Sam's feelings about her family and her bodily functions. Overall this is a well-written story with strong dramatic and humorous qualities, not to mention some great word-pictures. Your main character is complicated and interesting, although I feel I need to mention that you introduce her as a goth yet never explore that aspect of her personality. The other characters are quite colorful, and you do a good job of showing the affection and friction between them. You were worried that the descriptions of bowel movements would be too intense for readers. I can only speak for myself, but I think the way you've handled it is just right. After all, it would sort of be cheating if you gave the subject so much emphasis and didn't give detailed reports. Your writing has many strengths, and I'm curious to see how this story will develop in the following chapters.
  9. This is such a sweet scene. I hope somebody writes it in full.
  10. Great! I've always liked this concept and you use it eloquently here. Clever! We had a haiku thread a while ago and this would've been one of the best entries.
  11. I like it! I never thought about desperation during a massage but it's a great concept. Thanks! A while back I made a list of generic "hot girl" types and now I can cross off the last few. Everyone's free to suggest other types I missed. A boy at the house party couldn't stand waiting any longer for the bathroom to open up. His crush caught him trying to use the laundry room sink. She promised not to tell what he almost did if he promised to hold it for the rest of the party. She mixed him many drinks that night. Jay and Mark got home from a long day on the road and raced to the bathroom to find their roommate fixing the faucet and grumbling that the men were useless. They had to wait while Emma worked and sat on the toilet and worked some more. Ty was allowed in because she asked nicely. The heart-stoppingly cute librarian raised her voice. "You took a book in the bathroom so you're banned from it!" "Is our date still on?" "You can take me to the show and come to my place after but you can't use those bathrooms either." The quiet ones are said to be the craziest. Ren accidentally knocked Ai flat on her blue-skirted backside and everyone in the hall could see her Sanrio panties. Next day when he walked to the boys' room she and her friends pushed him in the girls' room where he was teased. They promised to do it again each chance they got. The tourists squirmed on their barstools. The men's room wait back home was never this bad. The bar was full of regional knickknacks such as a Westerwald chamber pot the barmaid could use to tease the men. "This pitcher's free if you can stand to watch me pour it into a pisspot." The women's college used advanced technology to keep danger out of the dorms including intruders from the men's college. Tonight's secret event was an open invitation to male hackers. A few made it in but none could hack the female-only toilets. The boys partied through the pain. The farmer's 3 daughters brought jugs of cool water to the help. All at once they relieved themselves behind dried-up bushes that barely hid anything. The young farmhands knew they weren't allowed to do the same. They were starting to think the women were teasing them on purpose. After researching ancient customs he visited the monster who'd bewitched his village. If he appeased her he could save everyone. 3 hours into the tea ceremony he felt he had no choice but to ask to use the bathroom. The woman's tails twitched in annoyance. "There is no bathroom." He was comfortable dating an older woman until he recognized the art in her bathroom and knew she used to babysit him. She reacted strangely. "You don't need the potty. Good boys hold it in. You need to drink your juice. Then we'll play some games and see if the cooties get you." The lawkeeper smashed a bear skull with her club when a man tried to part the skins without showing respect to the animal spirits. Each newcomer knew that could be their head. They didn't yet know the ways of the clan and so the latrines behind the animal skins were out of reach. Her suit and hair were perfect and she was ready for her new management job. She practiced assertive speaking in the mirror and then on her boyfriend who worked nearby. On a whim she said he wasn't allowed to use the restroom. She sounded so serious he didn't know she was joking. The ballet dancers moved like birds on stage but pissed like racehorses backstage. The limited toilets and inconvenient costumes meant that only a few had time for relief during intermission. The ladies came first. The men would have to gut it out for the rest of the performance. Before the decoy chest was buried the well-fed buccaneer shamelessly filled it with the fruit of her entrails. Her men were less revolted by the wanton display of excretion than they were envious. The other pirates lived on hardtack and would kill for a satisfying bowel movement. In 4 years of high school she hadn't batted an eye at him and now she was feeding him a sundae. He was in such a state of bliss he forgot he was lactose intolerant. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" she asked in the Tunnel of Love. If he were honest he would've said "sitting on the can." A man sat in silent frustration on a log between 2 women. "How can you be so brave you nail my sister when the whole family's in the next tent but so scared you can't take a dump with her?" asked a wiping woman. "You'd be amazed by my guy's hang-ups," said a woman between grunts. His sweetheart pampered him with fine hospitality with 1 exception. He got sausage jambalaya for dinner and apple cobbler for dessert and crawdad omelettes for breakfast but no morning constitutional. She wasn't committed enough to share her TP stash during a nationwide shortage. The 12th grade twins waited with the uncomfortably attractive receptionist until the even more attractive principal called one in. The boys were nervous to the point of diarrhea. She chewed one out for an hour then made him sit outside while she gave his brother the same lecture.
  12. This time I wrote a normal-length female desperation story and a double-length male desperation story. "No way my wife's showing her ass to everyone driving by," he said when she asked to pull over. His friends laughed as they passed a cup around. She trembled as she crawled under the dashboard to help her man use a bottle. "Something's wrong with our relationship," she whispered. He thought he was handy but nothing went right when he tried to remove his faulty toilet and install a replacement. He was embarrassed to ask the girl next door for help but his bursting bladder and gurgling guts told him to swallow his pride. As usual she ran right over to his place wearing a grease-stained pair of overalls and an elfin grin and immediately went to work fixing his failures. After 2 hours of unpaid labor she tested his new toilet with the longest loudest BM he'd ever known a human to produce. It was now backed up and needed further work.
  13. Does this mean you have old writing on another site? May we see it?
  14. 280-character bathroom denial stories! Now with more clichés! He'd been dared to stay out of the bathroom for the whole party. If he broke the rules of Truth or Dare he'd be disqualified from Spin the Bottle. He crossed his legs and made his decision. The chance of kissing Stacy was worth the risk of wetting himself in front of his friends. The princess demanded her rescuer protect her each minute she was outside the castle walls. As the day wore on the knight felt a need that was unfit for a lady's eyes. He heeded her wishes and resisted nature's call. During the journey she made water 3 times while he stood guard. The tall brunette in the business suit maintained her icy professionalism in the stalled elevator. The 3 men who spent 8 hours stuck with her behaved much less respectably but they all avoided lawsuits by forgoing any alleviation or discussion of their private bodily compulsions. The mortals were imprisoned all night while lovely Victorian ladies drank from their veins. They'd be released alive and free of curse if they behaved like gentlemen. They found it difficult to maintain correct posture especially when the women loudly excreted the digested blood. She was off duty attending a casual party but was still in a policewoman's uniform and state of mind. She made sure everyone drinking was over 21. The men's room was busted and so was anyone who committed public urination. None of the guys broke the law but 2 broke down in tears. The adventurer's companion had a knack for popping up whenever he was trying to relieve himself. He was ultimately forced to explain his embarrassing situation to the giggling Fairy. After she granted him privacy he found that every bush on the plain was guarded by its own Fairy. When he agreed to try something different he didn't expect to be ambushed on the way to the bathroom by a leather-clad dominatrix in stiletto heels. The only pleasure he could think about was an empty bladder. She crouched on the toilet and cracked the whip whenever he came near. The boys' room sounded haunted. It also looked haunted to the few brave campers who sat in the stalls. Most were too scared to even stand at the urinals. They had to hold it or find other places to go. The girls giggled at their discomfort. They knew something they wouldn't tell. The muscle-bound athlete was at the mercy of the tiny muscle in his urethra. His mighty bladder couldn't shed a drop if he could hear a voice. His cute little girlfriend knew and was exploiting it by doing her cheer routine outside the door. He would suffer until she got her way. The explorers didn't find gold but they were tortured by golden streams. The all-female tribe was offended by their ideas of modestly and toilets. They put the outsiders in cages and taunted them with free-flowing urine. The men were desperate but too civilized to use the ground. Living in a rich relative's mansion waited on by gorgeous maids wasn't as sweet as he'd imagined. There was something wrong with those smiling servants. He needed a bathroom but they were all being cleaned at once. One maid cheerfully suggested he use the toilet while she worked. A gang of 4 teens spent the night among the graves for spooky thrills. The girls told the boys it was dangerous to use a cemetery as a bathroom. They held it all night while their friends secretly watered the grass. Their dreams were full of ghostly girls preventing their relief. The sailor was lucky enough to get a tour of the sea kingdom and the Mermaid way of love. He was unlucky enough for it to happen when he was about to burst. There were tubes of air but no other plumbing in sight. He asked if he could let loose in the water. "No! We breathe that!" The teens in the portaloo line almost wet their trunks when they saw their classmates in bikinis. Before they knew it they'd agreed to let the 2 girls and 6 friends cut. They liked the company despite the desperation. When the tickling started they thought they were going to die. The synthesized female voice spoke an error message when he tried to use the toilet. The house's other appliances never failed. His daughter used the toilet earlier and his wife used it now while he watched. "I don't want your filth inside me," the house said when he tried again. It was the best and worst day at the office. The men's room was out of order and he learned Ms Browne was as fond of him as he was of her. Here he was with a frisky secretary on his lap and he had to use most of his energy to keep her from squeezing the liquid out of his bladder. The villainess shocked the hostages with her hands when asked about toilet access. Another request was denied 4 hours later. She and her catsuited minions added insult to injury by shamelessly urinating on the floor before the men's eyes. When would the hero come to their rescue? The cider-drinking contest was judged an hour ago and both winners and losers were troubled by the shortage of restrooms. Lewd exposure led to gunplay at last year's festival so the men stayed zipped up. Meanwhile cowgirls were dropping britches and lifting skirts right and left. "This forest is magical," the mysterious young lady said to the young man doing the potty dance. "Great malice will be visited on you if you defile it. Walk 3 miles northeast before doing anything unclean." He knew she was serious when she showed him her broomstick parked nearby. "I know that all of our suits are equipped with regulation diapers. I also know that the shuttle is equipped with regulation toilets. To anyone who wants to use the former I suggest you be a man and use the latter instead." Everyone under her command was a man for the 9 hour EVA. His loving servant was his unwitting torturer. He was uncomfortable enough sharing a home with a supernormal being who dressed like a harem girl but when she insisted on assisting him in the bathroom it was more than he could take. He might explode before he overcame his shyness. The marriage went unconsummated during the 9 day honeymoon due to her unpredictable moods. His inability to have a BM away from home didn't help. As luck would have it his colon woke up right as she handcuffed them both to the bed and said she was ready. It would be a long night. All the male guests were banned from the bathroom until the man who clogged it apologized. They could take care of their bladders in the alley but their bowels were a serious problem. The hostess was furious. She had no clue that her own sister had created the unflushable ordure. Thanksgiving dinner was 6 hours ago and his guts felt like 100 lbs of manure in a 50 lb bag. His wife was on the downstairs toilet letting out plops and braps and moans. His SIL upstairs sounded like a rhino passing a cement mixer. Once those 2 finished his sisters would be next.
  15. This is a terrific post from top to bottom!
  16. Nice story! Good idea! No clue when I'll get around to it. Great idea! It'll have to go in a different story however. The plot of the fishing story depends on the men not knowing that the women have been discreetly relieving themselves all along.
  17. Maybe I will, but which story should I expand?
  18. I wet standing, but I've only done it once. It was standing in the turned-off shower wearing longjohns and I had a ridiculously hard time getting started due to my nerves.
  19. A large part of my fantasy is women secretly wearing diapers during daily life, so I usually like to see something like Pull-Ups or Always Discreet under her clothes. But if she's privately relaxing or getting embarrassed then I like to see big poofy padding.
  20. I don't know why I keep doing this. The men didn't want to miss a minute of the big game. Even the ads were precious. Bathroom breaks would be few. The wife kindly waited on them but everyone was rude. When she demanded an apology she received a spanking instead. With a turn of a key she punished each male bladder. A catgirl was draped over his lap, a pair leaned on his sides, and another lay atop the sofa. He took turns petting and scratching each so all 4 stayed calm. There were growls and unsheathed claws when he moved. His bladder was about to explode but how could he leave these girls? The lowly retail worker thought he had a chance with his manager. "Can someone take over for a minute so I can use the restroom?" A breathy voice said "I thought if anyone could handle the busy hour it was you." "You can count on me!" replied a man in danger of wetting his pants. It took the warriors many hours to cross the city of their uneasy allies. Unlike the wastelands outside the robots' territory was clean and sterile. Metal women glared with glowing eyes each time a drop of sweat sullied their streets. The men didn't dare release any other liquid. They had to share a bed and she feared what could happen between a sleepy man and woman. Luckily she'd taken metalworking. His jeans were locked to his body before he remembered the bathroom. Next morning she wouldn't unlock him 'til after he took her to breakfast at a nice cafe. The magician's boyfriend was fed up with her refusal to drop the act. "You didn't really stop a waterfall with magic!" She looked him dead in the eye and said with the utmost sincerity "I'm casting a spell to stop your urine." He learned the power of magic over the next 12 hours. His senior prom date was a 25 year old woman. No one knew she was his stepmother so it should've been all right but she wouldn't stop mothering him. "Your constant potty breaks are a bad habit. You went before we left so I don't want you going again 'til at least the afterparty." Filming ran long so he was in his costume far too long. His producer was there with his contract in her claws in case he tried to avoid meeting the contest winners. He loved having fangirls fawn over him but not while trapped in 100 pounds of armor with a cantaloupe-sized bladder. "Requesting a pit stop, sir!" Every man in the platoon mentally sighed in relief when they thought they could finally drain their overworked systems. The commander narrowed her eyes. "I've got the balls to carry out this exercise without any tinkle breaks! What's wrong with you?" Drinks were free until someone went to the bathroom and a man at the table was about to do just that. His woman coaxed him back into his seat. He kept looking nervous but didn't get up. She smiled like the Mona Lisa. No one knew her hand was in his pants holding his passage shut. While the caravan rested the queen came down from her seat to make water. One by one she gave leave to each member of her entourage. Only her suitors were denied permission. They winced from hearing little streams all around and almost died when the elephants relieved themselves. "I don't care if you bribe, threaten or seduce me. We won't do anything drastic to your system 'til we're certain this regimen won't induce a movement." "Please just let me poop!" begged the patient. "Man up and drink your prune juice!" said the nurse with an inappropriate smile. On a double-date at an exotic restaurant the men dared each other to eat spicier and spicier foods. Each woman told her date not to back down. An hour later their intestines were in agony but their faces remained manly and unfazed. Visiting the restroom would be admitting defeat. The Centaurs were enchanted. In their pleasant daze they didn't ask why they were walking great distances or eating great amounts of plants or retaining great amounts of waste. When it was over they'd be led home and the Nymphs' crops would be fertilized with the greatest manure.
  21. The style looks like 34Qucker.
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