johnnyzboyz

One of the best novelists on this site! Love your writing, it's captivating!

Great story and good writing! I found myself scrolling back to the top hoping for a hint of a continuation! You painted a lovely picture throughout the story, not too blunt and just detailed enough. A small critique might be the choice of some words. I think a softer language reads better in some places, like "bum" or "cheeks" instead of "ass". I think it better suits the overall tone of the story (and sounding less like describing porn).

Can you make larger wet patches? Would love to see Alex from the sleepover soak a pair of pants. Maybe out of fear seeing a spider.