Ultimately, all you have to do to win someone's heart is to give them a big hug. Chances are that they want it too, but they're just a bit too shy to admit it.
A tad nervous about posting the most recent KozmoLotto. While it also involves pee desperation, some of said pee ending up in pants, it also involves #2 desperation and a bit of that. Don't know how much of an audience that would have or if it would turn people away; I'm trying real hard to write that bit of it as tame as possible so that I don't alienate anyone