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Gadwin

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Gadwin last won the day on August 20 2013

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About Gadwin

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  1. The last time I was so desperate I had an accident was many years ago (I was like 6 or 7). I tried to deliberately get to that point a few days ago, and shortly before I got there I developed severe pain in my lower back. I assume it was my kidneys straining. Anyway, the pain was so overwhelming I decided to just let go, even though my sphincter still had some fight left in it. It might have hurt so badly because I drank a whole bunch of water to get desperate, rather than letting it slowly build up over the course of many hours.
  2. Wow, both virgins... That's amazing. I'm really happy for you guys. How truly rare it is two people who are both innocent but share the same "interests" find one another. I can only dream of such a thing happening to me. As I've mentioned in other threads, I'm still a virgin, so that's one of many reasons I am somewhat intimidated by dating. It's extremely likely that the person I'm dating has significantly more "experience" than I do, and I worry about being inadequate. But, that's something I should concern myself with another time. Just finding someone I "spark" with is the first step. I was talking to some of my co-workers here who have lived here a long time, and according to them Filipinos actually have pretty good English. I suppose it couldn't hurt giving it a try, even though it would have to be somewhat secretive (i.e. no public displays of affection) due to local laws and customs. But, what do I really have to lose? It couldn't be any less productive than my experience with online dating.
  3. If I were going to be living here long-term, I would look into it. But I'll likely only be here a year, two at most. So, of the things you listed, "can't be bothered" is probably the closest reason. I work 12 hours a day five days a week, so that does not leave very much time to study something complex such as learning a new language. It's my opinion that a wiser usage of what time I have would be studying and taking more certification exams, to further bolster my credentials on my resume. And being that information technology is what I do for a living, learning about it comes to me far easier than trying to learn more than the basics of a new language. I know what your next response will likely be: if I am not willing to expend the effort, I do not deserve to complain about not being with anybody. And that is true. I signed up for this contract, I knew full well what it entailed. There are sacrifices that must be made with any decision in life -- a social/love life is one of them in this case. Still, I do find solace in voicing my discontent regarding my loneliness.
  4. Currently doing a hold with a diaper on, didn't do morning pee so it has been 12.5 hours since I last peed. I've drunk about 1L of water since I got up too. Just leaked a tiny bit. I'm wearing a pair of sweats over it and sitting on top of a chux pad because I know the diaper probably wont get it all. EDIT1: 13 hrs now, hands are shaking and Im leaking every few minutes. Will probably start spurting soon. EDIT 2: So I made it 13.5 hours and was spurting every couple seconds. However, it was quite painful at this state, so I just relaxed and let it all come out. It did seep out underneath the legs.
  5. Well, I'd want to know even if it is, just so I could console you and reassure you that everything will be okay ;) Even if you don't want to publicly broadcast what happens, at least drop me a PM whenever you do tell him. Really though, regardless if he thinks it is a bit odd or wants to indulge in it with you, I am confident he will not judge you or belittle you for it. From how you described his reaction to the previous revelation, he seems like a very open-minded and caring person. Besides, as people have mentioned in various places, everybody has a kink whether they've explored it or not. There is probably something he has always been interested in trying but has been too afraid to mention it to you too. Regarding "understanding," I still don't understand the "why" of my own. This has always been a gift I've had: I can dissect other peoples' problems and am usually able to help them, but I am completely incapable of helping myself. Anyway, there's no reason I can think of that led to it developing. It's just something I've always enjoyed in various forms, ever since I was very little. When I was a toddler, I remember holding it as long as I could when my parents would draw a bath for me, so I could go in the bath. They eventually noticed it once when I let our an audible "ahhh" after getting in and scolded me. Then later, in elementary school, I took a keen interest in desperation/wettings. In middle school, I started experimenting with the subject myself, and then later I started stuffing my underwear with toilet paper to simulate a diaper. My best friend suggested that the reason I am drawn to diapers is because I yearn so desperately to be loved, and by wearing I can take myself back to a time when I was shown that kind of affection. I don't really know if that's the case, but it seems plausible.
  6. Just be honest with him, Rach, but try to avoid using the word "fetish" unless he brands it as such. He might be more receptive of it if he doesn't think of it as a "fetish," since that word carries negative, taboo connotations. Tell him that because of your medical complication which manifested when you were little, you grew up with a heavy reliance upon diapers and as such, they gradually became something more intimate and special to you than just "protection." They provided emotional comfort and support in addition to their commonplace physical function. As you matured into a woman, this appreciation for diapers -- and by extension peeing itself -- integrated itself into your sexual identity. It's now become something you greatly enjoy as part of your sexual rituals. That's being open and honest, and explaining the "why" as best you can (because everyone when presented with a fetish is naturally inclined to ask "Why do you like that? How did you even discover this?" And, at least in my opinion, it presents the information in a gentler, more innocuous manner than simply blurting out "I've got a sexual kink/fetish involving diapers and peeing."
  7. If I wanted, I could probably have any number of Filipinos here but that would be a shallow relationship based mostly around physicality because their understanding of the English language is limited at best. Communicating is difficult, but having an intelligent conversation would be nigh impossible. Sadly, that's not really what I am looking for. Saying that after all my lamentations to be with somebody seems highly hypocritical in my mind's eye, but hey nobody's perfect. :| Nevertheless, you are probably right about the online dating thing. I signed up for the website not because I really had any hope of finding "the one" from it but just to get comfortable talking to women I am attracted to. Yes, video chatting and talking in person are slightly different, but they are fundamentally the same. Sadly, I was fairly naive in thinking anyone would read my profile and think to themselves "Eh, I might not be able to see him for a long time but he seems nice, I'll give it a go." My contract with my employer is a year long, so I will probably be heading back home some time in early November.
  8. Well, I have no illusions that I will meet someone who actually enjoys wearing/using diapers. If I hold out for that person, I might be alone forever. I am fine indulging my fetish on my own, and all I want from someone is that she is accepting of that and doesn't judge me for it. If she wants to participate in it, that's incredible, but I don't have those expectations.
  9. While it's not really comparable because I can voluntarily choose not to indulge in Omo (although it would make me unhappy), whereas you have no control over a medical complication; regardless, it instills hope in me that one day I'll meet somebody who is as loving and understanding as your BF is.
  10. Wow, I'm speechless. What an incredibly inspiring story, Rachel. I actually teared up reading through it all. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
  11. Thank you for the kind words. I'm sure I'll find that special someone eventually, it's just a matter of how long... I am very shy when it comes to talking to women, and I have literally no experience dating. None. I went to see a movie once with a girl in high school, and that's it. I'm extremely self-conscious about that because it will be obvious I have no clue what I'm doing and that might be a turn-off for people. Actually getting a date is difficult enough, keeping a steady relationship is something I've never done... And top that off with my Omo interests, I just feel like at some point I am going to HAVE to settle. This is a weird niche fetish, and many people will be repulsed by it. I don't even know at what point I'd consider broaching the subject to someone I'd been dating. I mean, I am very adept at keeping it a secret but if I were to become serious with someone I would have to tell her. I don't believe it is right to keep secrets from your partner. I just don't know... I try to maintain hope, but some days it's hard. Because I'm currently living in Kuwait, I've been participating in online dating just on the off chance someone is willing to give long-distance dating a shot. So far, nothing. I expected that, but it's demoralizing nonetheless.
  12. Only when you're younger. As you get older, you'll find that women your age have matured and moved past the bad-boy thing and are more interested in people who will treat them right, people they can potentially start a family with -- husband material.
  13. At about a 7/10 now, starting to become quite uncomfortable.
  14. Doing a hold while wearing a pull-up. I woke up this morning at around a 4/10 and didn't do my morning pee. Now, at 11:20, Im at about a 6/10. Normally I'd start looking for a bathroom at this point.
  15. Pics of Sakura are awesome. I shamelessly admit that I had a crush on her when I was a kid.
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