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Diapercondriac

Soaked Member
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  • My pronouns are..
    she/her

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  1. If you don't mind me asking (again), when did you get interested in this kink? I didn't even begin to experiment with diaper wearing until I was in my 20s, so it's a relatively new thing for me. I've never done it as a stress reliever, but more like an enchantment to an already enjoyed hobby. Its always interesting to hear so many takes!
  2. I agree here as well. I think people misconstrue the idea that all coping mechanisms are valid as in: whatever helps you, go for it, whereas in reality (at least from my experience) it's used by therapists and mental health advocates as in: whatever coping mechanisms you have serve you, but they can often indicate unresolved issues. They're valid, but eventually you might have to let them go. Graduating or replacing coping mechanisms is usually what I see pushed more than anything else. Wow, what a ride. Thank you for your heartfelt response, and I definitely empathize with you, the whole way down to the "children should be seen, not heard." I'm sorry you had to deal with such treatment from your mother; no one should have to go through such things.
  3. Thank you so much for your thought out response! First, I'm already in therapy and have been for the past 7-ish years. I'm also medicating my CPTSD through the use of microdoses of mushrooms, and it is being monitored and supported by a professional as well (as much as it can in an illegal state?) This is a new controlled instance of drug use for me compared to the othwr weed use, which is also being worked on and addressed as a dependence. I appreciate your concern in regards to that. Second, that perspective has really helped develop the concept for me. It makes sense that (we?) would want to return to that time frame. If you don't mind me asking, do you think it's closer to a form of escapism? Finally, thank you for expressing it less as a state of being and more of a hobby. That concept was always confusing to me given the language people use or the experiences they describe. I believe that most of the research was centered on anecdotal references and some sample cases, but they did separate the groups. As with lots of research, it's meant to start the discussion in order to facilitate more intense research, AFAIK. I've only taken a few research and assessment courses to draw my conclusions, but it's better than having no discussion about this fetish. This comment has also opened up some new thoughts for me, so I thank you for the boost!
  4. First off, I got a few messages asking where I went. Sorry to just drop out, but I felt like I wanted to take my experiences to a more private level for several reasons. One of which is that I felt wrong to be posting without the permission of my partner (things are getting more serious, so it's out of respect). The second is that I want to explore more of my personal psychology regarding this whole fetish. Hopefully by the end of this post, I can be forgiven 😅 That being said, I have several questions that I would love your input on if anyone has any insight. I will throw out a content warning for this post/thread, but trauma content ahead! I have also posted the links below for the research/articles I'm talking about? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7068517/ https://understanding.infantilism.org/surveys/trauma_and_exposure.php https://metro.co.uk/2019/06/24/teacher-lives-diaper-wearing-adult-baby-help-overcome-child-abuse-memories-10052173/ https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=7495&context=dissertations https://books.google.com/books?id=Ogr-DwAAQBAJ&pg=PA76&lpg=PA76&dq=ptsd+abdl&source=bl&ots=DEVjB6DMDc&sig=ACfU3U39OP_lmFaBOJBWENzwTDOfoFlaNA&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiss4iOx_b3AhXuj4kEHZnXCnYQ6AF6BAgxEAM#v=onepage&q=ptsd abdl&f=false I've recently been coming to terms and processing a lot of harder aspects of my life after determining that I have CPTSD, or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, for those unaware. CPTSD differs a bit from PTSD in that it often occurs in the presence of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) and continued abuse. Instead of one repeated incident, it's many over time with no support system or coping skills in place. Some backstory, I experienced physical abuse, emotional neglect, childhood sexual assault (Age 14), and am currently being treated for CPTSD. I have previously been treated for depression, anxiety, Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (dissociative disorder), and there is suspected ADHD as well, just for some pizzazz. I am an addict, but not currently being treated because well, that's a symptom, not a cause. I am also self-medicating by microdosing shrooms 2x weekly. One of my goals is to take a higher dose and actually trip while diapered. I'm a bit afraid of regressing involuntarily as well. I've always been uncomfortable with the topic of regression, and wouldn't it be telling if I were afraid of it because I subconsciously felt shame about it? That being said, there's research supporting that shrooms can help alleviate symptoms of trauma, but I did not expect how it would work. I've never been so emotional! And I can remember so much stuff now (a blessing and a curse.) Sorry, i digress. In terms of ABDL lifestyle, I have always had a fascination with the art of peeing. I discovered masturbation twice while absolutely bursting twice as a child. I say twice because I forgot in between instances as they were a few years apart. I never had an issue bedwetting or using the toilet, other than being afraid of the flush. I enjoy more DL aspects, and often don't align with AB parts of the fetish. In fact, I'm a bit yucked by some parts of it. I feel disgusted by the crossover of sexual experience and parental care, but before there's any wetting involved, the safety and comfort and cuteness is what makes me happy. There's also research supporting that ABDL lifestyles can be attributed to trauma during infanthood, sexual abuse as a toddler, lack of attachment to their parent, etc. HOWEVER, the research I'm seeing supports this claim only for the AB side of things. And there's overlap between my experiences and their definition of AB. And I believe someone on here asked me once if I was AB or not? So now, I guess my questions are: Do y'all agree about the characterization of the differences between AB & DL? What are your opinions on the connections between trauma and this fetish? Do you think childhood sexual assault or lack of connection is more likely to result in someone enjoying this fetish? Hypothetically. And on a more personal note: How can I further discover my connection to this fetish? Did you struggle to identify yourself as AB or DL or both? What kinds of questions can I ask myself/did you ask yourself to figure this shit out? I appreciate and invite all answers! And if this topic is a bit too sensitive or in the wrong place, please message me and let me know, and I will correct it ASAP. I'm also curious about regression, so if anyone has any related perspectives on that?
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