DesperateJill

@DelugeDenial "Curious, isn't that the case for everyone though? It's your body telling you about something it considers urgent. I definitely can't ignore the feeling as it's like a constant "itching" feeling on my mind that directs attention to my bladder. Most of the time when I intend to hold it I just end up going because the feeling is so frustrating and I can't get myself to focus on anything else even with a mild urge." Well I think that that's the difference, yes it an average person who is not neurologically divergent will certainly notice a full bladder eventually and find it increasingly difficult to ignore, but someone like me even the most mild urge and I really can't ignore it. Like I have to pee even the smallest amount I will be completely unable to sleep or think about anything until I get to the bathroom. Just like I can't drown out external stimuli. Like when I was taking a shower I kept hearing this clicking noise that I thought was my dad perhaps using the computer and it was driving me crazy because I wasn't sure what it was and it turns out it was just the sink dripping in the other room. An average person probably would basically be able to drown that out but I could hear it basically in any room in the downstairs I could hear that dripping of the faucet and I really couldn't ignore it. And since you brought up itching that's one of the things that drives my dad absolutely crazy because I'm constantly scratching myself. He said he didn't think it was humanly possible for any person to be that itchy and uncomfortable all the time, and it constantly touching myself and scratching myself and finding it hard to sit still or ever get comfortable. The phrase uncomfortable in their own skin I think is actually a phrase that is perfectly suited to myself as I have always found the human body and all of its urges to be maddening. Same with thirst, where I basically always have to have something to drink around me or I just feel really anxious and where I'm constantly drinking and drinking and everything. Unfortunately the people around me, my dad I mean, finds all of these little quirks and habits absolutely infuriating, and every little thing that I do he basically condemns me as how abnormal I am and how it drives him crazy and how I should be in a mental hospital. @eliska_91 "The sensory discomfort with holding is a REAL THING and my physical body likes it not much more than my brain does, which then conflicts with it being a sexual turn on for me 😩 There is also the sensory discomfort with being in wet clothes for long periods of time ((like anything over an hour)) or having to move around in them, and they can be wet with anything, pee included." Is probably a main reason why am not into stuff like wetting myself and why I would never like diapers as I find that would be extremely uncomfortable to be sitting in your own waste and I think that it's also very irritating. I know that when I was younger and wet the bed (involuntarily mind you as I feel on a form like this I always have to specify that LOL) I would always find it really irritable because urine on my skin would make me itchy and rashy and just uncomfortable in general. And yes I was one of those people who is impossible with clothing because you would have to cut all the tags out of my clothing and certain fabrics would make me itchy and basically anything that's not soft and extremely comfortable drives me crazy. Like the other day I had to go to a funeral and having to get dressed up in formalwear with all of these buttons and all these other things just drives me absolutely mad, and I really don't know how to even get dressed in really complicated clothing, and I'm constantly told by my father how slovenly and how terrible I look all the time.

I think that my hypersensitivity to any feeling in my body or any kind of stimulation is basically why I find it harder to ignore or forget about a full bladder compared to the average person, I just can't drown out sensory data like that.

@Ms. Tito "Republican politicians are more likely to assault women in bathrooms than trans people are." I often say this myself all the time, the threat of transgender people in bathrooms has no basis in reality and is just used as a form of hatemongering and scaremongering from the party of family values, which has hundreds of convicted sex offenders in it. It reminds me of Mike Huckabee who said he would like to identify as a woman so that he could go into the girls showers and sexually assault people, it's all projection, it's because that's what they would do if given the chance, and very frequently do. Hypocrites all. I'd feel safer peeing next to a trans woman than a conservative politician. @Will1994 "I don't really see the good that will come of pointing fingers at specific groups because abusers (bad people in general) can come from any background or affiliation." The difference is that in the United States the Republican Party has made transphobia, homophobia and misogyny the foundation of their party's platform passing tons of laws that restrict the rights of LGBT individuals and women based on fears that have no basis in reality and just appeal to a base that is angry, bigoted and hateful. Yes there can be bad people in every group affiliation but some groups are just toxic hate groups themselves. The idea that every political party is equally bad is not supported by evidence. @Stanley79 "'I've seen two problems at this Starbucks. First the restrooms do not suffice suffice for when the Starbucks is very busy. The single waiting line can be six or eight people long. However, more than three people waiting is rare. Second, the restrooms are out of sight of a large part of the dinning area. So when a waiting line does develops, customers are largely unaware of it." That's one thing that I fear in regards to unisex bathrooms as it could lead to less bathrooms all around. Instead of having to opposite sex bathrooms with multiple stalls are urinals you will basically just have to single user bathrooms that are totally inadequate for everybody using them. And it still baffles me how place where people are basically drinking highly diuretic drinks all day that they wouldn't have more bathrooms! Is just poor planning is what it is. "(I saw one attractive Asian student looking increasingly uncomfortable during a long cell conversation. When the call finally ended she slipped her phone into her purse and ran to the restrooms. When she could see the seven-person waiting line, she looked absolutely panicky. Great in an anime. Not so great irl.)" Congrats on being lucky enough to be a desperate Asian woman! @Omoguy115 "Their also was this time I went to pee at a concert and saw that each stall had a lady standing outside it. This one lady went off on a dude how came out 1 of the stall saying that he could've used a urinal before running in herself. During this same bathroom trip a women said that she's jealous that she couldn't pee in a urinal like me while squirming waiting for a stall to open." It is a frustrating situation and you need to pee and there is an express lane for the opposite sex to pee right in front of you while you are waiting for a stall!

Admittedly in a situation like that I would feel sympathetic and try to help the person go to the bathroom and wouldn't deliberately keep them from a bathroom, but I definitely would enjoy them desperate in a situation whether they wanted to be in that situation or not, even though we having been in that situation myself extensively I realize how frustrating it is, because to me those are still the most interesting situations, so once again it's ironic that I have been almost entirely on the receiving end of that!

It depends whether you are the one holding or the one making others hold. Being the one holding definitely tends to be a submissive position.

I was in special education classes despite having above average intelligence because of emotional problems, and it's true that I actually use to poop in my pants until I was about seven years old, and had a hard time dealing with not being able to pee whenever I wanted in school, which now looking at it I probably am on the spectrum and that was probably what that was all about and I guess it would be weird to the average person.

@nacke "Im from Europe (Sweden) and i think you've misunderstood a bit. We have unisex bathrooms but these are just a door and a single bathroom not like a room full of stalls in which both men and women go. that doesn't exist at least not in sweden. i'll post som pics of what it looks like. When there is a big room with a lot of stalls/toilets/urinals in them it's always split by gender." I think individually fully enclosed toilets are probably the best for everybody concerned in all honesty, especially if you're going to go unisex. In the United States it would probably be harder to do unisex because a lot of the stalls don't offer that much in the way of privacy, as you could easily look through the gap or look over the top or look underneath, so it's not really the most private. I heard that in some places in like Europe they have a fully enclosed stall with no gaps which offers more privacy, but a lot of people are against that because if somebody ended up falling asleep or doing drugs in there and passing out nobody would know or be able to get them out.

I consider it rather ironic seeing as I am obsessed with finding the bathroom whenever I arrived at a new place that I ended up with one of the few jobs where bathroom access is truly abysmal, and the timing was of course the worst is because of Covid, as like a perfect storm of desperation nightmare, at least this year though the bathrooms have mostly been open with a few notable experiences to the contrary.

@birthdaycake "During the COVID lockdowns there were NO bathrooms to be had, not even port a johns. More than once while out walking my dog in the forest preserve I had to go into the woods and pee otherwise would have had an accident. Had a friend tell me an account of this during COVID- similar situation but no where for her to pee publicly very well, but she finally did pee where others could see because she said she had already started to wet her pants (she has bladder issues)." I was pretty much my experience during my job where all of the public bathrooms and places where they might otherwise have for the potties and stuff like that were basically pretty much nonexistent so I got stuck holding it pretty much all day. @Windows XPee "This is where the streetside toilets we used to have are still important. A lot of them get vandalised these days, but I'd argue that was more of a problem relating to paying cleaners to be on-site more frequently to keep them clean and smelling fresh." I mentioned my recent experience with a vandalize restroom in my desperate at work diary thread. So definitely is a problem is people are very inconsiderate. "But the Covid lockdown changed a lot about society, including ways you wouldn't immediately think - and public toilets was a major impact. In my city centre, we *did* have more public toilets - but so many were closed and remain closed to this day. Most have re-opened to be fair, and there's loads of businesses you can go if you need to, but you don't always think of that when things get frantic and dire." Yes I learned that the hard way from my job because basically I never really have to rely very much on public toilets and then just when I had to for the first time that's when they all happen to be closed so I was basically looking around everywhere and finding every bathroom closed and going out of my mind. I think that until you have had to do without public bathrooms you don't realize just how important they are especially if you are going to be out all day. The urinary leash is a very real thing and it certainly affects women strongly. @Sudoers "I think in Japan (as well as some other oriental countries such as China), the issue comes from the culture, not the lack of the bathroom. The people are taught to endure in order not to disturb others or the group activities. Especially it is not encouraged for girls to talk about their need to visit a bathroom." Well that's just sort of the thing, the guy who I was talking to lived in Japan said that the students don't really have to ask for the bathroom they can pretty much go anytime they want so they are not actually forced to endure painfully full bladders. It might be different in China though where I heard the toilet situation is pretty bad and that there were large protests for potty parity among women in China, so it probably varies from Asian country to Asian country and probably also a lot based on rural or urban regions. China has a real lot of people and not enough toilets where is Japan has all sorts of cool high-tech toilets!

@NormalPeople I think that that woman standing there with her butt clearly out at the urinal probably isn't very shy, but if that guy in the other picture is shy with all those women in the men's room I think that that would be the ultimate nightmare for someone who is pee shy! But I do think that if men and women were using the same bathrooms they would eventually get used to it, and it would probably demystify the opposite sex to some degree. Although I have to admit I would feel rather weird standing and waiting for a stall while men are peeing loudly in the urinals behind me! I imagine they'd feel awkward as well.

I'm not into the wetting aspect of this fetish but if I wet myself what would I consider to have wet myself, I would say if it's obvious that you are visibly wet. A few little leaks I don't consider to be wetting yourself but if someone can tell by looking at you that you peed your pants then as far as I'm concerned that is considered a wetting! Visible wetness is my measuring stick I guess you would say.

@Sudoers "Japan is the most friendly country for non-omo fans. Sometimes, there are signs to direct you when you are 200m away from a bathroom. For some bathroom usually has lines, there will be a map to indicate you another one with less people." It's funny because there seems to be a lot of omorashi content from Japan but I have talked to people who live in Japan including a person who was American and moved to Japan and said that in Japan there really are abundant bathrooms even if omorashi is popular there. And in schools in Japan it's basically seen as a right that students can go to the bathroom when they want which is not the same thing as in the United States where it's more of a privilege.

@jibbyjamie "Well I meant social media, messaging, TikTok, ... more so than phone calls. I think because women have to sit down and wait for a bit anyway we just tend to whip out our phones and end up spending more time on them than we did peeing." I think that that is probably true because a woman can sit down in the privacy of a stall and do whatever she wants where as if a guy was chatting on the phone at a urinal it would be more obvious. And besides since women sit down to pee we have both of our hands free to use a phone. I'm not really a phone person as I pretty much never use my phone when I'm out of the house except in emergencies, but I do like you always have something in my hands as they have lots of nervous habits. @Angusburger "I wonder if its also cause women just need to go more often because there just always seems to be so many girls needing to pee in large public places but the mens room is just empty, but are female bladders and bladder contorl really like half of men? I am not talking about wait time, I am talking about how many people are actually in the bathroom or how many people are in the bathroom over the same span of time" I think that there is some truth to that because I remember the study that was done that show that women went to the bathroom 6 to 7 times for every 3 to 4 times that men went to the bathroom so I do think that the female restroom does get more usage than the men's room, and then when you also factor in that women take longer there is just a larger volume of people and a larger backup.

@Angusburger "This seems unfair though for women because it seems like we are rewarding bad behavior while women who are holding it in as they should be (and not peeing outside) are being forced to hold it in still because they are not behaving badly. But isnt it also harder for women to hold in their peebecause of weaker bladder muscles and smaller bladders? Seems like a triple whammy" Bingo. I feel that is a big part of society's problems in general, not just when it comes to bathrooms is that we have a tendency to reward bad behavior and punish good behavior, especially when it comes to politics.