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Hemmi

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  1. All through high school I used to take a public bus with a mixed group of friends. There was a shop at the bus stop and we used to buy treats if we had enough money. One fateful day in February when I was 14, I had PE in the afternoon so I was thirsty and treated myself to a diet coke at the bus stop. It was a really cold day but we all just wore blazers with school uniform (not cool to wear a coat) so I was shivering at the bus stop and started to notice how much I needed to pee and I was really glad when the bus arrived. The bus ride took 30 minutes and the vibration through the plastic seats started to make me feel desperate to pee but I felt embarrassed to admit that to my friends and still assumed it would be fine. I could go all day without peeing usually. All the same, I could feel my full bladder pulsing constantly so that I could hardly pay attention to the chat. I found a way to sit turned around in the seat so that the heel of my black school shoes put pressure on my urethra to keep me from squirming too much but I could still feel the pulsing. When I got off the bus, the cold took my breath away and the need to pee got even more urgent. Crossing my legs to stop myself leaking as I stood at the bus stop, I wondered if I could really walk the half mile home while I was this desperate. There was a small shopping mall a hundred yards away but the wish for privacy and just to get home won and I decided I could make it back to the house. The walk was cold and uphill. Every few yards I had to stop and clench all my muscles to avoid peeing. I couldn't wait to make it home but the ten minute walk took about 20 minutes as I got less and less able to move. Sometimes there was a spasm and I had to bend double to stop myself from losing it. I felt so cold and miserable and anxious in case someone I knew saw me. It must have been obvious I was in danger if wettibg my pants. Finally I got to the house and went into my bag for the key. It wasn't there!! I had lost my key. We hadn't lived in the house long and didn't know any neighbours so there was nobody who held a key or whose bathroom I could use. My parents were not due home for over an hour and I didn't think I could hold it for that long. My heart beating faster with panic, my need got worse and I ran through my options. I could walk back to the shopping mall to pee but I wasn't sure I could make it and the thought of wetting my pants in the middle of the mall was horrifying. This was before mobile phones so I couldn't call anyone to help. I looked at our garden. I was pretty experienced at peeing outside but our new garden had no hidden corners to relieve myself. Every spot could be seen by from the road and by surrounding houses. I decided the safest thing was to try and wait for my parents to get home. I paced around the house trying not to hold myself too obviously but I spent most of my time legs crossed and doubled up. So obvious I was trying desperately to hold back a tide of pee. That was bad enough but then the combination of being full and being cold made my bladder start to fail. The clenching wave of desperation started to be followed by a pee lasting a few seconds where my body ignored all my efforts to hold it back and peed full force for a couple of seconds. I had no control. It wasn't a leak it was just a total loss of control. I felt like it whooshed out like a fountain when it goes in bursts. Sporadically but full force! I got it back in check but the feeling like a hose running stayed with me. The first gush soaked the crotch of my pants and the tops of my thighs. That made it harder to hang on even when it was warm. Once it cooled, it made me feel cold and tingly in a way that made the desperation worse. I was clenched up at the thought of the humiliation of peeing my pants and people seeing and knowing. I walked and clenched and crouched on my heel for 10 more minutes before it happened again! Complete loss of control of my bladder for a few seconds. This time I was wet to my knees down my tights and right up the back of my ass. I had to check the back of my skirt for damage. Luckily there was none but I knew I had to act fast. I went into the back garden and holding myself under my skirt, tried to work out the least visible spot. Then I held myself with my left hand while I squatted and took down my pants and tights with my right in one movement. Then I held my skirt up out of the way. The cold air was still a shock and at first the pee came slowly and steadily as if it couldn't just completely relax after all that holding. Then it grew stronger and it was a torrent of hot steaming piss and the relief as it gushed from me gave me the most powerful thrilling pleasure. The amazing tingling relief went right through my body in waves. I peed and peed. Once I started, it felt so amazing that I couldn't stop. I was still worried about being seen but it felt so utterly fantastic that I went until I had emptied my aching bladder not caring if anyone could see. Afterward, I still felt humiliated that I had soaked my pants and tights. I hadn't wet myself like that in all the time could remember, even as a little kid but at least it was private embarrassment. As long as I didn't sit down and make my skirt wet nobody else had to know. And I was so relieved I was actually happy. The feeling was so powerful that I still fantasise about that day after 25 years.
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